Should Sanjay Manjrekar be given a farewell match as commentator?

Once Sanjay Manjrekar was omitted from the BCCI’s panel of commentators, there was no cricket left to commentate on. While Manjrekar took his omission far more gracefully than Ravindra Jadeja took his criticism as a “bits and pieces cricketer”, there’s no saying how this will end.

Manjrekar has been outspoken in his comment; often something that hasn’t gone down too well with watchers of the game – be it his take on Jadeja or Cheteshwar Pujara, he has minced no words.

But when it comes to his relentless praise of Rohit Sharma through the years, he’s spared no garnish.

Now the preoccupation with Rohit’s talent and unfulfilled promise has not been Manjrekar’s alone – commentators, many of them former cricketers, have spent so much time Rohiting away, it’s surprising Star Sports failed to start a channel for this sole purpose. What would they call it – Star Talent of course.

This could have led to Talent scouts, Talent hunts and a remake of the Hollywood film, The Talented Mr Ripley (rechristened as The Talented Mr Rohit).

Once upon a time, I was a huge fan of Sanjay Manjrekar’s – there I said it. Yes, I even said so on air. On NDTV, on a show titled The evolution of cricket commentary – from close to six years back but yes, I said it. After 30 minutes into the show when asked about our favourite commentator, I mention how commentators work in pairs and how Manjrekar-Chappell were one such pair, with an almost father-son rapport.

You can listen to me on Manjrekar here (after 30 minutes).

Today, when cricket and all sport appeared to have been given a farewell, we must ask ourselves, doesn’t Sanjay deserve a farewell match? Hell, even Ashish Nehra got one. Sachin got two.

Or would the BCCI rather have him go into exile and spawn another ICL and draw Ambati Rayudu back into it again? 

There’s much time for thought. I suggest a white ball game where Rohit Sharma will captain, open the batting and speak to Sanjay after the match. It is all he would have dreamed of.

Another thing, Ian Chappell should be invited as well. And if it’s TRPs that Star is after, maybe they seat Sourav, Sachin and Greg Chappell together as well.

After all, they pulled off Bhajji and Hayden, didn’t they? And there will be so much lost time to make up for – who knows, maybe they cage Manjrekar through his stints, promoting the match as Sanjay WildKar. Pujara can make an ODI comeback, what more could Manjrekar ask for? An elephant in the room perhaps.

Next: Should I be given a welcome match on Manjrekar's farewell match?

Read more...

Return

After Wankhede, SRK wants to be banned from Eden Gardens

The Wankhede ban on Shah Rukh Khan has been lifted. While the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA) did not give any specific reasons for this, it's learnt that the Bombaiya in SRK prevailed. SRK has often spoken of his loyalties split between Mumbai and Kolkata when it came to the Indian Premier League (IPL). While he sees himself as the owner and ultimate fanboy of the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR), he also thinks of himself as "Bollywood ka badsha".

"I was not a very good actor that fateful summer's night in May, 2012. If I had hammed some more, I'm sure the MCA would not have banned me. Instead, I was trying to be earnest and protective of my children. They did not recognise this side of me. Even that guard (who later swore to be a diehard SRK fan) did not think it was me. He behaved with me in such a high-handed manner. I recall him telling me, 'Don't give me the SRK flop show, only star airs work here in Bombay'. At first I thought he was talking complete rubbish and abused him - that too without any dialoguebazi - just straight from the hip MC BC that we speak - not what you hear in the films."

Vikas Dalvi, the security guard in question, said he'd prefer to forget the NASA scientist-wallah SRK. "For me, Swades was a crap film. Too much reality, that's not how Bollywood is. And when he said he'll hit me with a hockey stick it reminded me of Chakde! India - another film for pseudo intellectuals who have tried their best to stop SRK from overacting - if I wanted to just see good acting, I won't pay so much money. For poor people like me, the more money I pay, the more acting I want to see."

SRK regretted missing out on two seasons at the Wankhede where he could have sat shoulder to shoulder with the Ambanis and the Tendulkars. While the Ambanis were unavailable for comment, Sachin Tendulkar said he was not aware of the SRK ban and would prefer not to comment without knowing the whole truth. "Anyway, if the ban has been lifted, there's nothing left to be said," he added.

The actor says he does not want to rest on his laurels and hopes to be banned from the Feroz Shah Kotla (Delhi was his home before Mumbai) and Eden Gardens. "The Kotla is such a third class stadium and the Delhi Daredevils (DD) are such a third class team, but because of my commitments to KKR, I have to go and watch these one-sided crappy matches. Gambhir has such a bloodlust when it comes to DD, we all know he will beat them every time, especially in Delhi, no matter what. Also when I'm in Delhi, all those pile-ons from St Columba's and Hansraj come out of the woodwork... avoiding them is becoming serious hard work... and yeah, my in-laws are here also."

As for the Eden Gardens, SRK says that being banned from there is the ultimate challenge. "If you would've noticed, especially in the World Cup quarter-finals in 1996, Eden has very low standards. The crowds are the ultimate badmash. For me to be banned from there, maybe I'll have to be at my best behaviour ever. Then I suspect it will not be up to the low standards of the stadium. Mamatadi is very protective of me and even if I am banned, I'm sure she will blame a cartoonist and ban the poor artist instead."

When asked what the next big thing for him in the IPL was, SRK was non-committal at first but then took a deep breath and said since he'd already been banned protecting his daughter, Suhana, he'd now love to be banned shielding his youngest son, AbRam. But where does that leave his elder son, Aryan? "He's a big boy now, he should be looking to have his own Wankhede experience!"

The Wankhede security guard, Dalvi, confessed that if Aamir Khan ever found himself in a similar situation as SRK, he had full faith the actor would give his most OTP Satyamev Jayate performance. "That's why Aamir will never be banned, he gives you full value for your money. Before brandishing a stick at him, I'll be drowning in a pool of my tears", he added choking on his own words.

(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)

First published here

Read more...

Return

When Azhar met Sonia G

by megha + nc

Read more...

Return

Oye, welcome back you useless SOBs

If you were Younis Khan, MoYo, Shoaib Mailk, where would you be now?

One foot on Jacob's ladder
And one foot in the fire
And it all goes down in your mind

Living at the bottom of the stairs in your life
Never a smile knocking on your door
The air is blue and so are you
Prehistoric monsters on the floor

Last verse of your last song
And God don't hear dead men
The end of the line is in your mind
And you'll be staying in

Read more...

Return

The return of Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai - The Big Ban

INT. SHAHID BHAI'S DINING ROOM - DAY

Bent back, almost parallel to the ground, much like Quasimodo, Kreeper runs into Shahid Bhai’s household –

KREEPER

you not believe unbelieveables newses

Shahid Bhai lunching, seated at the head of the table, surrounded by Fans with banners that read Boom Boom! + Afridi for PCB captain + Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! you’re 2 sexy and other assorted suck-ups. Behind Shahid Bhai is a babe, a hark back to the Mughal times – she is feeding him grapes..

SHAHID BHAI

(his lips move but say nothing)

Subtitles: Grapes are sour, puss…

He spits a grape out for his pussy cat – and then throws a roti in Kreeper’s direction, who pounces dog-like at it

KREEPER

kinda like it haha dats what they say down under

SHAHID BHAI

(his lips move but we can’t hear what he’s saying)

KREEPER

like coach saying, am getting deaf touch, what you saying

SHAHID BHAI

(speechless)

KREEPER

Younis Bhai is Younis bye and MoYo bhai is Moyo Bye too, I’m feeling retired hurt

The fans at the table start shouting for Shahid Bhai, flashing posters, howling, as if he is coming in to bat. Shahid Bhai gets up stylishly albeit slowly, spits another grape at puss, flicks his hair back, hurls another roti at Kreeper (which he pounces at). He stands in front of the window so the sunlight lights him up, he then poses like only he can, arms outstretched as if he’s taken another wicket. And then he breaks his silence

SHAHID BHAI

I am speechless

His fans at the table go delirious.

Song: It’s bye bye Mr MoYo bhai…Bye bye Mr Younis bhai…and good old bhais were drinking risky and hai singing this will be the day that I’ll be banned…this will be the day that I will be banned!

Read more...

Return

DDCA: Married to the mob.

Hat tip Sunny's fb comment: Do you think the DDCA realised there was much more money to be made renting out Feroz Shah Kotla for weddings than having these cricket matches ? There is an extreme shortage of open spaces in central Delhi and huge traffic jams on the MG road to all those farmhouses!

Laugh more on DDCA's expense - Revealed: What went into the Kotla pitch

Read more...

Return