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To Shane Watson, A Bored Game Fantasy Cricket Tragedy

by achettup

I HATE YOU. You and all Shane Watsons who play cricket for Australia. You are cruel, cruel horrible men. You play with my emotions, make me reject you and then humiliate me. Me and all Achettups who write cricket blogs. Damn you!

I like fantasy cricket. I love the Bored Game here on BCC! I thought I could win, because I am so awesome. But you had to ruin it. I put my faith in you. I said "Poor injured guy, I'm sure he wants to make up for all the time he lost breaking his legs, back, shoulders. I'm sure he is so sick of that exercise bike that he will thunder in and take loads of wickets. I'm sure he will test the limits of his new back and pull and hook to glory. I like Shane Watson. He's $100k, but I'll take him in my fantasy cricket team. I mean, Agarkar isn't playing so this makes sense."

And what do you do? Game 1, vs the West Indies... GOLDEN DUCK. -10 batting points. I'm like, well that was a brute of a delivery, Kemar Roach is awesome. I'll keep Watto, see he got me three wickets, he can always do something worthwhile.
Game 2, vs India... After a horribly scratchy over, my trump player (YES THATS YOU, THATS HOW MUCH FAITH I PUT IN YOU PLAYING MY COUNTRY!) miscues a pull and is out for a 7-ball duck. -20. Doesn't even get to bowl. Hmpf.
Game 3 vs Pakistan, (still my trump) bowls economically but gets slogged for 12 in the last over. 40 bowling points gone. But you did take two wickets, so that can be forgiven. 24 measly runs, just one more and I could have got a bonus. But no, you couldn't do that. I've had enough of your mediocre allround prowess. YOU HAVE BEEN DROPPED.

Ok... so semifinal one... no point picking Watto he can't bat for nuts... Something's wrong here he bowled a maiden and has taken two wickets. 96 bowling points... oh well, he'll flop when he bats! BOOM! 130 odd runs later, 7x6ers later, MAN OF THE BLOODY MATCH LATER, 369 frickin points later...

Don't tell me it wasn't deliberate. You horrible selfish man. This has to stop, cricketers have to stop being so inconsiderate. We play fantasy cricket gawddamnit, and you can't ruin our fun for the silly cause of getting your team to the final. Especially not when I have your captain in my team and he should have gotten man of the match. Damn you Shane Watson. Damn You.

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14 comments:

Purna said...

Can I laugh at your agony please?

Too late. I'm already laughing.

You and your fantasy cricket!

Naked Cricket said...

I feel your pain. Then again maybe I don't.

Take it he'll be back for the finals? But he's so damn unpredictable, even he doesn't know he'll come off - to me, this is Ricky's doing, saw it the other day with Paine, now with Watson. Ricky is the new Sachin, who is the new black...eye.

achettup said...

You can laugh Purna, but just remember, one day you will play fantasy cricket and Watto or some other self centered cricketer will destroy your faith in your judgment. Then you will understand, you can come back here and submit your story, I promise I will not laugh at you!

NC, it was Ponting's fault (it always is :-) ) he bowled Watto that last over against Pak. He could have chosen Paine, but NO, lets go with Achettup's trump. I should pick Watto for the finals just so that he is a duck and everyone else understands. Also, you were going to say sheep, I know it, don't be scared, there are no kiwi's around!

straight point said...

more than you ozies know that this is the best they have got so they stick with it... not like us indians two such failures and he wouldn't be playing the semifinal...

achettup said...

I don't mind them picking him SP, but why should he score a hundred, take runs and bowl economically? Its ridiculous. Anway, its a good thing we're going to drop Dhoni as captain now, what a miserable Champion's Trophy record he has ;)

The Cricket Corollary said...

LOL, I HATE HIM TOO! He ruins everything. And he did it with a smile on his despisable face.

achettup said...

He did Boncam. It gets worse. Colly was my trump. He had bowled 7 economical overs. I was going to get 60 bowling points. Jealous Watto scored 22 off his last over, so I got ZERO.
Yeah, I saw that smile. Kinda suits his overgrown fragile body. DAMN YOU SHANE WATSON!

Mahek said...

Watson screwed my team bigtime! Each of the current top 10 teams had him as the Trump Player and I didn't even pick him. But more than Watson you should be mad at Luke "The Hobbit" Wright. He should've never dropped that catch!

Aditya said...

@Purna

You will play this game someday or the other and you will understand our agony!!! It ignites your emotions for a match you were neutral..do try it! its loads of fun :D !

@A
Hoping it cheers you up a little bit - no bonus points for getting 25 runs in an ODI. That was in a T20! So you were a bit harsh on him ;)

I too have a similar story to share will send it in some time. That day it wasn't about a single player but every damn thing going wrong for me in a match!

and what happened to colly has happened to Bond today ! damn the pakistani tail enders! :(

Purna said...

I will never play this game. I know the inconsistency of cricketers too well. I am a Herchelle Gibbs fan after all :P.

You can try, but you won't drag me to the fantasy cricket world.

Mahek said...

Had a decent day today. Taylor, Elliott, U Akmal, Ajmal, Aamer did well. Guptill and Bond disappointed. Unfortunately Bond was also my TP :(

achettup said...

@Mahek, yes dropped catches off your foes hurt far more than their innings. Wright is a moron.

@Aditya, at that point I think Watson was over a run-a-ball, and once you score 25 you get the bonus for strike rates, so 15x2 more points :(. Yes I had Bond too, but also Ajmal and Aamer so it evened out :D

@Purna BWAAAACK BWUCK BWUCK BWUCK

@Mahek, Back to 7th, Well Done!

Purna said...

Ach, are you calling for a vet? :P.

Btw, are you the moderator of this game or something? AND holding the 3rd position?

Suspicious..

Mahek said...

Purna, there can't be any foul play from the League Manager. Besides, don't you think he'd be first if he were capable of foul play? :)