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Some thoughts about the IPL

by Bored Guest

(thought about while Akshay Kumar was jumping around like a monkey and laughing like a donkey)

1) Win or lose, someone makes money – IPL 1 was the beginning. There were the DLF Maximums and the Citi Moments of Success. We stifled a puke. IPL 2 introduced the strategic timeout. We almost barfed. Now in addition to the DLFers, we have the Karbonn Kamaal Catches. And ads between deliveries. Shots of the MRF blimp thingy. Lots of shots of the MRF blimp thingy. Akshay Kumar heehawing, Gauti – Viru doing a Brokeback imitation, players singing “Ooh La La La La”…cannot control it, gotta go hurl.

2) Owners or mascots – More than the players, the franchises are increasingly being recognized by their team owners/mascots, especially the female ones. Preity Zinta is KXIP, Nita Ambani is MI and Shilpa Shetty is RR. A great shot by Tendulker and the next shot is of Nita Ambani with her half an inch smile. A diving stop by Yuvraj (becoming a rarity these days) and we see Zinta jumping up and down. What better way to target the female demography which controls the remote control in the Indian homes than to show someone whom they can identify with the most?

3) Harsha Bhogle is God – Amidst all the nonsensical soundbytes about tracer bullets, huge shots (which barely cross the ropes) and double Ds, there is one beacon of hope, an oasis in the desert, a diamond of the coal mine, a….should stop (hearing too much commentary is injurious for mental health),. He goes by the name of Harsha Bhogle. The man is awesome enough to talk sense even while burdened with compulsorily plugging those sponsors. The man was the first to mention ICL and get away with it. He also spoke words to the effect of “The law is an ass”. And he also is self assured enough to tolerate jokes about his brand new hair.

4) Welcome to E..E…Extraa Innings – You want any proof of Set Max trying to capture the eyeballs of the ladies. I present you the hosts (in the set and on the field). All chosen based on the symmetry of their faces, broad shoulders and proven track record of attracting the ladies. Only thing forgotten by the worthies working for the channels was checking the effect brought about by the “hunks” exercising their vocal chords. For proof of that, I submit before you the only exhibit required – Angad Bedi!! The only thing he is good at is wearing a too small for his biceps suit. His stammering makes SRK’s talking seem normal. He looks petrified before the camera and he makes you do something totally against his brief- change the channel. However one good side effect of hiring this flesh and blood mannequin is that the ranting of a certain retired left arm slow bowler have ceased. For the time being.

5) The ICL effect – Who among the new Indian players seem promising to you? Most of you will pick Sathish, Rayadu, and Jhunjhunwala among others like Tiwari and Tiwary, Naman Ojha and half the RR side (Warne is awesome btw.). The common thread that binds the first three chaps is that they were earlier known as the ICL rebels. These are not the only one. Waiting in the wings are other ICLers like Stuart Binny, G. Vighnesh and Ali Murthaza. One chance and I bet they would prove themselves invaluable. Two years in that league have certainly enhanced the skills of these guys. For that, ICL should be given its due.

6) Class: IPL 1 was not good for the senior citizenry of cricket with Tendulkar, Kallis and Gilly struggling to keep up with the relatively new format. IPL 2 saw them more attuned. IPL 3 is seeing them at their best showing the young turks why they are the real deal. Tendulkar’s “killing ‘em softly” strokeplay, Kallis’s all round excellence and Murali’s vicious turners (not to forget Vaas, Hayden and Kumble) are the real highlight of the IPL for me.

These are some of the random thoughts about the IPL crossing my mind today. And I have not even mentioned other awesome fellas like Agarkar. More to come.

by Dhaanu
blogs at Bakwaas Baatein (Random rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)


straight point said...

enjoyed reading it... thanks!

Anil Singh said...

Good that I stumbled this great write-up before it gets lost under article stack.

I retweet.

Gaurav Sethi said...

Harsha, eh? This could come back to haunt you.

Dhaanu said...

Well, exposure to the likes of ZZZkrishnan, Morrison, Sidhu and the likes will have its side effects.