More »
.jpg) |
| click on cartoon to enlarge |
Chahal's Checkmate
 |
| click on cartoon to enlarge
Rook Rook Rook - Stop Stop Stop (in Hindi) and also the Castle in Chess (from Persian)
|
What is Delhi smoking
It’s odd to see anyone wearing a Delhi Daredevils’ shirt
unless they want to stink it up at the gym. I know of two guys who do that.
Then I met the third – his DD jersey had a name, NEGI. I asked him if it was his – appears Pawan Negi (former DD Left arm spinner) is a friend of his brother’s and that’s how the tee got on his back. Negi is now with CSK, he’s played one, their first, went for 37.
Previously, Pawan Negi and Shahbaz Nadeem, both left arm spinners, were with the Daredevils. Often they’d both play. Then randomly, as most things are at the franchise, one or the other would play. Then neither. And then in the previous auctions DD picked Nadeem again.
In CSK, there’s a clear pecking order, Ashwin, Jadeja, Badree, then Negi. And with the first and second spots up for grabs, suspect the first we saw of Negi this season, will in all likelihood be the last.
As for Nadeem, he was one of DD’s two spinners (before Imran Tahir). He has played 9 of their 11 games: 0/32, 1/29, 1/29, 1/24, 1/19, 1/30, 0/27, 0/34, 2/35. That’s 7/259 Compare this with SRH’s Amit Mishra, who’s had a rough season: 2/26, 2/56, 0/38, 0/27, 0/54, 0/13, 2/23, 0/33, 1/32, 0/38 – that’s 7/340 (from 10 games)
DD’s second spinner, Rahul Sharma, has played two games, 1/33, 0/32 (both from 3 overs).
SRH’s third spinner, the offie, Parvez Rasool has still not played a game.
SRH’s second leggie, Karn Sharma has played all 11 games so far : 0/8, 0/37, 1/23, 1/35, 0/33, 3/17, 1/20, 0/29, 0/25, 1/46, 1/19 – that’s 8/292.
Compared to DD’s 2 wins, SRH has 4 – and a far better net run rate of -0.325 to DD’s -1.156. If anything, SRH has stuck with their limited resources.
Cut to CSK: Ashwin went for 38 from 2 overs and for 41 from 4, both vs. Punjab, mainly Maxwell. His IPL numbers so far, 13/281 from 11 games. And if CSK play in KXIP in the knockouts, we’ll see Ashwin and Maxwell spar again.
Every bowler, even Sunil Narine, has a bad day in T20 cricket, case in point 1/38 vs. DD of all teams.
Narine is fortunate to play for KKR, a team that gives even Yusuf Pathan ample leeway to discover himself through the art-of-living-failure.
DD on the other hand, drops a bowler, after his best analysis, 2/21.
After 9 defeats, DD still don’t know their worst eleven. After suffering Ross Taylor for three games in April (17, 19, 21), they picked him via rotation, again, on May 15th.
They are burdened with a captain who is at the crossroads of his cricketing life – 16, 26*, 14, 0, 6, 35, 33, 13. And he hasn’t even bowled.
While KP, along with Viru, for me, is the most watchable batsman of the 2000s, much like Viru, he rarely has a scrap or middle gear in him – it’s do or be done.
The best he can do is bench himself like his predecessor, Mahela. Play all three spinners. Pick the four South Africans, de Kock, Parnell, Duminy, Tahir.
Now I can expect DD to do the exact opposite.
Team to beat KXIP:
1 de Kock
Manoj Tiwary, skipper, one way to ensure he doesn't bowl.
12th Man: KP
Coach Kirsten, why did you first play the Kiwis and not the South Africans, was it because you didn't want to appear biased?
DD owners, what are you guys on? Remember, you build airports, leave the flying to pilots.
Thanks for reading this pointless post for a pointless team.
Then I met the third – his DD jersey had a name, NEGI. I asked him if it was his – appears Pawan Negi (former DD Left arm spinner) is a friend of his brother’s and that’s how the tee got on his back. Negi is now with CSK, he’s played one, their first, went for 37.
Previously, Pawan Negi and Shahbaz Nadeem, both left arm spinners, were with the Daredevils. Often they’d both play. Then randomly, as most things are at the franchise, one or the other would play. Then neither. And then in the previous auctions DD picked Nadeem again.
In CSK, there’s a clear pecking order, Ashwin, Jadeja, Badree, then Negi. And with the first and second spots up for grabs, suspect the first we saw of Negi this season, will in all likelihood be the last.
As for Nadeem, he was one of DD’s two spinners (before Imran Tahir). He has played 9 of their 11 games: 0/32, 1/29, 1/29, 1/24, 1/19, 1/30, 0/27, 0/34, 2/35. That’s 7/259 Compare this with SRH’s Amit Mishra, who’s had a rough season: 2/26, 2/56, 0/38, 0/27, 0/54, 0/13, 2/23, 0/33, 1/32, 0/38 – that’s 7/340 (from 10 games)
DD’s second spinner, Rahul Sharma, has played two games, 1/33, 0/32 (both from 3 overs).
SRH’s third spinner, the offie, Parvez Rasool has still not played a game.
SRH’s second leggie, Karn Sharma has played all 11 games so far : 0/8, 0/37, 1/23, 1/35, 0/33, 3/17, 1/20, 0/29, 0/25, 1/46, 1/19 – that’s 8/292.
Compared to DD’s 2 wins, SRH has 4 – and a far better net run rate of -0.325 to DD’s -1.156. If anything, SRH has stuck with their limited resources.
Cut to CSK: Ashwin went for 38 from 2 overs and for 41 from 4, both vs. Punjab, mainly Maxwell. His IPL numbers so far, 13/281 from 11 games. And if CSK play in KXIP in the knockouts, we’ll see Ashwin and Maxwell spar again.
Every bowler, even Sunil Narine, has a bad day in T20 cricket, case in point 1/38 vs. DD of all teams.
Narine is fortunate to play for KKR, a team that gives even Yusuf Pathan ample leeway to discover himself through the art-of-living-failure.
DD on the other hand, drops a bowler, after his best analysis, 2/21.
After 9 defeats, DD still don’t know their worst eleven. After suffering Ross Taylor for three games in April (17, 19, 21), they picked him via rotation, again, on May 15th.
They are burdened with a captain who is at the crossroads of his cricketing life – 16, 26*, 14, 0, 6, 35, 33, 13. And he hasn’t even bowled.
While KP, along with Viru, for me, is the most watchable batsman of the 2000s, much like Viru, he rarely has a scrap or middle gear in him – it’s do or be done.
The best he can do is bench himself like his predecessor, Mahela. Play all three spinners. Pick the four South Africans, de Kock, Parnell, Duminy, Tahir.
Now I can expect DD to do the exact opposite.
Team to beat KXIP:
1 de Kock
2 Parnell
3 Karthik
4 Duminy
5 Tiwary*
6 Jadhav
7. Laxmi Ratan Shukla
8 Nadeem
9 Rahul Sharma
10 Shami
11 Tahir
Manoj Tiwary, skipper, one way to ensure he doesn't bowl.
12th Man: KP
Coach Kirsten, why did you first play the Kiwis and not the South Africans, was it because you didn't want to appear biased?
DD owners, what are you guys on? Remember, you build airports, leave the flying to pilots.
Thanks for reading this pointless post for a pointless team.
Imran Tahir's Delhi Daredevils' Interview
 |
| click on cartoon |
Based on @IPL 's tweet - "I was changing nappies at home when I got a call to join @DelhiDaredevils", Imran Tahir tells @ShirinSadikot.
H/T Meeta for photoshop play
Delhi Daredevils take the cake
 |
| click on funny poster to enlarge |
Stuck on the door of the L’Opera bakery is a poster: ‘Delhi
Daredevils Victorious Sweet Delights...happy to share with you our new contest
supporting the Delhi Daredevils...’
It’s not a pie throwing contest at the team.
Goes on, ‘Following every Daredevil victory...’
Pull yourself together, man.
‘..L’Opera will offer cakes for the first 10 calls’
I inquire about the contest, “you must have saved a lotta
cakes??”
“Yes, only one win so far”, I do not correct him.
Another poster, Your Match is Fixed.
Ankur at the gym also informs me it’s no use watching, as
all games are fixed, and why don’t I write about it? I nod, so here, I’ve
written about it.
Back to DD. They’re not so bad, really. Two wins is far more
than I expected. Much worse are teams with big names with even bigger
expectations.
DD messed up by investing in Ross Taylor yet again, and
expecting something from KP. Their problems were at the auctions, starting with
Taylor and ending, surprisingly, with KP.
Earlier on the Geek & Wilde podcast, I’d spoken of KP’s
IPL. This was before he’d played a game. In my unwritten book, a player whose
international career is over, somewhat prematurely and against his will (unlike
Michael Hussey) and that too, only recently, will have way too many demons to
wrestle. Maybe next season, he’ll score more, maybe next season, he won’t even
be there.
In my DD PervView, I wrote about Murali Vijay. It took
elimination, for the team to bench the opener.
At the beginning of this season, I’d promised myself not to
watch DD or CSK games. There’s way too much joyless familiarity to their
outcomes.
I don’t like to call the Daredevils my team, what, they
aren’t even their own team anymore; but when they did win those two games, I
was reluctantly pleased.
Watching an entire tournament, without a team, in addition
to the fixing clouds that continue to rain, isn’t easy. Nor is it elementary.
Still life with Amit Mishra.
This story is inspired by Amit Mishra's run out on 8th May, 2014.
Before Walter Mitty’s secret world and Mungerilal’s dreamscapes, there was Amit Mishra. A stationery object, unmoved by the futility of movement, a master of the Zen of Pause. An inspiration for artists, among others, U2’s Running to stand still.
In a way, Gauti was pleased, his friend was doing well enough to be his companion on tour. Four years after his Test debut, Amit Mishra would make his. Between them, 171 runs and 7 wickets.
Before Walter Mitty’s secret world and Mungerilal’s dreamscapes, there was Amit Mishra. A stationery object, unmoved by the futility of movement, a master of the Zen of Pause. An inspiration for artists, among others, U2’s Running to stand still.
Amit Mishra was not always like this. He was far worse. A
love for sport was discovered at an early age by accident. When he was yawning
at the boundary and a fierce flat-hit lodged itself in his outstretched arms.
Amit Mishra was cranky, the ball had broken his breathing patterns – he had
reluctantly mastered the merits of breathe-in, breathe out, during yoga. His
favourite Asan, the Shavasana (Corpse-asan) where you lie flat on your back, arms outstretched, doing nothing. As per the yoga teacher, Shavasana
was a wind-down after the somewhat more rigorous Surya
Namaskars.
Not for Amit Mishra. He wanted to start class with the Shavasana. The only time he showed any
enthusiasm was when he eyed the mat with a sparkle in his eye; soon to be
doused. 'Flat on the mat' was a rap song, Ma’ Odumbe, his Kenyan friend would
sing for him. Of course, his full name was Maurice Odumbe, but Amit’s love for
minimum-effort drove him to circumcise his name.
When everyone’s idea of a beach holiday was Goa, Amit Mishra’s
was The Dead Sea. Fearing his family would bully him into water sports, Mishra
stuck pictures of Thai beaches on the Jordan brochure. Once there, Amit Mishra even dragged his yoga
mat into The Dead Sea attempting the Shavasana.
He wrote in his diary that day, “Shavasana
& Dead Sea, these are a few of my favourite”
When the family posed for photographs, he
demanded deadpan expressions. This joke was lost on everyone including Amit
Mishra. However, deadpan was one of his favourite expressions – his buddy,
Gauti, had used it whilst ordering pan fried pizzas, saying, you guessed it, “Deadpan
pizza for Amit Mishra”. At first he
sulked, but when Gauti told him it was a joke, he laughed a tad, fast retiring
to his stupor.
There was also a misplaced love for the shot put. What drew
Amit Mishra to the sport first were the confines of the circle – yeah, I can
stay there all day, he muttered. The tough part was lifting the shot and then
hurling it. He asked if he could perch on the shot and be hurled instead? To
his credit, he was the only enlisted-athlete (forgive the expression) who was
never-fouled for leaving the circle. What
endeared him to the shot put even more was the knowledge that it had been part
of the modern Olympics since 1896 – he loved all things old, as in his mind he
equated them to immobility.
His friendship with Gauti meant cricket would soon be thrust
upon him. Gauti loved to bat, but even more than that, he loved to smash
spinners – especially left arm spinners. For a while, he made Amit Mishra bowl
left arm spin. That backfired. The ball would invariably be bowled towards mid on - the
next best thing, Gauti taught him leg spin. Gauti was ambitious, and wanted to
smash other deliveries too, the googly and the full toss were added. And post match interviews.
It took a few dismissals for Gauti to realise he had created
a Mishraenstein. Gauti asked him to concentrate on the full toss. But such was
his friend’s accidental guile, the googly would come out instead.
In a way, Gauti was pleased, his friend was doing well enough to be his companion on tour. Four years after his Test debut, Amit Mishra would make his. Between them, 171 runs and 7 wickets.
Two years’ later on Independence Day, Amit Mishra combined his love for
flying kites, shot put and flighting the ball by doing this:
From 2008-2010, he was chasing Harbhajan Singh. Seeing as it
was becoming increasingly difficult to replace him, he decided to become him.
 |
| Not one to be his own man, the IPL brought him new opportunities, to be someone else's man. |
In spite of himself, Amit Mishra has
represented India, Deccan Chargers, Delhi Daredevils, Haryana, India
Blue, Sunrisers Hyderabad. So much flux and changing of jerseys has scarred
Amit Mishra. He still turns up for SRH matches in DD jerseys. However, he has
stopped turning up for DD matches. The change in jerseys and logo was the last
straw. A traditionalist, Amit Mishra once said, in the long run, it’s
the short run that counts.
However plausible this might sound, this is a work of
fiction.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
