More »
Showing posts with label KXIP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KXIP. Show all posts
Why you should look to buy a captain at the IPL Auctions
On the face
of it, KXIP (Kings XI Punjab) appeared to be beyond repair when they went into
the IPL Auctions. Also on the face of it, what they needed was just one player –
a T20 captain. What they were making do with until now, was an excellent Test
batsman, doubling up as their opening batsman and T20 captain. Don’t let Vijay’s
twin T20 hundreds fool you, they were made a long time back – in 2010 and 2012.
Well before he harnessed his powers as a supreme Test batsman for India. With
Vijay at the helm, KXIP were forced to play him, have him open the innings, no
matter what.
Murali
Vijay and T20s are an odd couple, somewhat like Suresh Raina and Test cricket.
IPL Season 9’s
numbers, however, tell a different story: Vijay knocked 453 runs at an average
of 35, striking at 124. For three years prior to this he was striking at less
than 110 with an average in the early 20s.
Season 9
could well be an exception. Vijay’s scoring is by and large built on boundaries.
When the boundaries dry up, the runs invariably dry up. This was the precise
reason, Vijay failed to cut it as an ODI batsman. A strike rate of less than
70, only one half century, that too, in his last series, against Zimbabwe. An
ODI batting average of 21 isn’t too flattering either.
With all
this limited overs’ baggage, KXIP made Vijay their captain. Possibly, because
after the rough run with David Miller and Glenn Maxwell, they didn’t know where
else to look.
Not until
this IPL Auction, with former KXIP captain, Virender Sehwag as their mentor. For
all his brilliance with the bat, Sehwag was never meant to be captain. Not for India,
not for Delhi Daredevils, and not for KXIP either. Captaincy never sat on his
shoulders as a bat did in his hands.
One of
Vijay’s IPL centuries will vouch for that. As Daredevils’ skipper, Sehwag
opened with a spinning rookie, Sunny Gupta, playing his first IPL match against
Vijay – in a Qualifying Final. A demolition followed. Not to be outdone, Vijay
as KXIP skipper, bowled Axar Patel in the last over against MS Dhoni – 23 runs
later, MSD won Pune the match. There is still the odd chance that Sehwag-Vijay
could be running the show at Punjab, and you fear for them.
But they
don’t have to. At the auction table, Punjab bagged England captain, Eoin Morgan
and former West Indies’ captain, Darren Sammy. There are two World T20s in
there, both under Sammy’s watch. Sammy doesn’t turn up for the Windies, and
there’s a good chance he may not for Punjab. He makes an exceptional cheerleader,
and may only play once Morgan flies back home to play South Africa.
Perennial
contenders for the wooden spoon, Delhi Daredevils (DD) appear to have purchased
a lot of goodies at the auction. What they still haven’t got though, is a
captain who can guide the team independent of coach, Paddy Upton and mentor,
Rahul Dravid’s remote control.
There’s
some progressive thought brewing behind DD lines – thought that almost
disregards the outcome because of the significance attached to the process. In
JP Duminy, Angelo Mathews and Zaheer Khan, they might have readymade captains –
but DD needs to ask themselves some tough questions, do these players always
pick themselves in the playing XI.
It could
well be a repeat of when then DD captain, Mahela Jayawardene rested himself so
another overseas’ player could take his place in the middle.
Then again,
underestimate Upton and Dravid at your own peril. They’re fully capable of
making 19-year-old, Rishabh Pant captain. After all, he’s just taken over Delhi’s
one-day captaincy from Gautam Gambhir.
As with T20
cricket, so too with T20 captaincy, it’s better to go with the gut than
overthink it. Who knows, Sehwag might finally have applied his ‘see-ball,
hit-ball’ policy to an all-new ‘see-captain, make-captain’.
"Will Preity Zinta still hug us after she's married?"
A distraught KXIP player speaks up
For most editions, Kings XI Punjab (KXIP) has owned the lower berths of the Indian Premier League (IPL) table rankings. On the few occasions that KXIP turned a certain defeat into a victory, co-owner Preity Zinta’s joy knew no bounds nor did her hugs. Falling short of hugging the lamppost, the lovely lady hugged all and sundry in the squad including the masseur and his massage table.
Then came along IPL 7; KXIP’s season to beat all seasons. Preity had her arms full. The players were nothing short of ecstatic. Psychologist, Sukhinder Singh Mann, cited a direct correlation between Preity’s hugs and the players’ performances on the field – “Video footage has shown, immediately after a KXIP victory, even before Ms Zinta starts to hug the match winners, players on the bench inflict themselves on her in the hope of winning a hug. No doubt she obliges but only after she gives the match winners a bear hug – her hugs are nothing short of jhappis between old yaars, very desi and full of love and affection. There is both a healing touch and hotness to it. We must understand these are young players out there and being appreciated by their lovely owner is the icing on the cake...I will go so far as to say, it is both the cake and the icing. Must admit, in Mohali I too have been hugged by Ms Zinta, I felt like man of the match, correction man of the series haha”
Now it turns out, Preity Zina will tie the knot with a certain Gene Goodenough. Plagued by punsters all his life, Mr Goodenough refused to comment whether he thought he was good enough for a Bollywood star like Preity Zinta. Instead, he lost his shirt asking the reporter whether he was the same guy who keeps asking Dhoni when he plans to retire. There were no more questions.
Arguably most pained by Preity Zinta’s marriage plan was a player (who requested not to be named but referred to as a Perennially Benched Player (PBP)). Deeply distraught by the latest marriage announcements, he said, “As a benched player, nothing was more important to me than the team winning. Not because I cared for our victory, but because I longed for a hug from Preity. My ass hurts sitting on the bench match after match, I now know what Manoj Tiwary felt all this while. But he doesn’t know what I feel when I am hugged by Preity. I’m really scared now, if Preity gets married to Gene, will I be no longer good enough for a hug?”
New KXIP skipper, David Miller refused to comment but wished Preity the best for her hugs...er marriage. Star batsman, Glenn Maxwell, said some of the Indian players who are milestone driven, actually count the number of times Preity has hugged them, but as an Aussie he just likes to give it his all and not count how many times the two have hugged.
Newly appointed KXIP mentor, Virender Sehwag said he was a married man with two sons and did not like talking about hugging women. “What Preity Zinta does is Preity Zinta’s business, if she likes hugging players to show her goodwill then that is her business.” Answering another inane question, Sehwag was deadpan as ever, “No, I have not met her fiancé so I cannot say whether he is good enough for her.”
Finally, Preity Zinta put an end to all speculation by saying she thought the man in her life was good enough for her. “And no, nothing can stop me from hugging my players. And Gene is not the jealous kind, but he did say somewhat sarcastically, ‘Preity, tell me darling, is cricket a contact sport?’ haha”
Priety was all smiles and dimples. You could tell the press in waiting was dying for a hug.
(However plausible this might sound, this is largely a work of fiction.)"Being bubbly isn't easy after so many defeats" - Preity Zinta
"Desperate times call for desperate measures," screamed Ravi Shastri, perched on top of one of the PCA stadium light towers in Mohali. His voice carried to nearby Chandigarh, and up the hills, shaking the quiet of Kasauli. "Pun-jaab has lost too many on the trot to play another IPL team again, they need to look for inspiration within," muttered a visibly frazzled Preity Zinta. She added, "Being bubbly wasn't easy with so many defeats." A manic Sidhu interrupted her - "She was starting to feel flat like bubbly that has lost its bubbliness quotient.
What good is Champania without the Champagne bubbles, she is no better than a beggar without a begging bowl!" Sidhu looked for an imaginary drummer, on not seeing one, he undertook a drum roll with his crooked fingers instead.
Even a normally unperturbed Sanjay Bangar (coach, Kings XI Punjab) claimed his team's IPL drought was beginning to remind him of his worst days when he ran out his captain, the Prince of Calcutta, never to play for India again. “I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat...dreaming I have run out David Miller when he's smashed Ishant Sharma for seven consecutive sixes in an over (two off successive no balls, one for height, the other a front foot no ball)”. “Left needing six from the penultimate delivery of the over” chirped Laxman Sivaramakrishnan. Bangar frowned at Siva and then continued frowning at no one in particular - “I face the last two deliveries and manage just a leg bye to Naman Ojha who even ignores my single and throws the ball in the air, celebrating, further belittling my effort... It later strikes me that I could have run five leg byes and nobody would have noticed but instead I just walk off crestfallen. There is also a vague memory of Preity Zinta beating me up but maybe I was just imagining things.”
Dropped for the last few games, Virender Sehwag says somewhat nonchalantly, "It's bad enough being dropped in the Tests for Murali Vijay and in the ODIs for Rohit Sharma, but now to have some chokra called Manan Vohra take my place is destroying my sense of worth. I have forgotten how to sing at the crease. Luckily, I'm no longer at the crease. But even during my short stint in the nets I was besura...my son says his friends have stopped speaking to him because he is the son of a benched player. I spoke to Preity Zinta, she felt the cause of 'children of benched players' was always close to her heart and that she would put her personal problems aside and speak to her ex-boyfriend about an ex-player. She claimed she was even behind the rehab of another ex-KXIP player - Yuvraj - and that both Yuvi and Viru sound similar to her."
Finally, at an Extraordinary Executive Committee meeting, it was decided that KXIP will play none other than Kings XI Punjab. Not once, but twice. There will be a home game in Mohali and an away game in Pune. A toss of coin will determine which team will be referred to as KXIP and which one will be Kings XI Punjab. Ravi Shastri snapped, "Either way, little Bhajji will be in the house".
If this fails to translate into a win for either KXIP or Kings XI Punjab, it has been learnt that KXIP will rename itself as KXIPD. It was also learnt that the D stands for either Delhi or Daredevils.
(This is a work of fiction. No IPL players were intended to be hurt in its writing.)
First published here
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
