Bored Members - Guests | Media | White Bored | Interview | Bored Anthem - Songs | Boredwaani | Cartoons | Facebook | Twitter | Login
Showing posts with label long hops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label long hops. Show all posts

That was cricket

by Bored Guest

When does one generally get started in a particular game or sport that gives a sense of joy and fulfillment?

Looking back to three scores and more of years in my life I wonder when I really got started in cricket. While yet at school, we played cricket with rubber balls and a two foot long wooden plank tapering at the top for bat. Three little sticks drawn from the nearest tree, at one end and one at the other made our stumps.

But the rules of the game were impeccable. The distance between the captain’s big toe and the small decided the space between our three stumps. The distance between the wickets was to be the 22 normal steps measured with religious seriousness by the captain that moment.

He also measured out a bat and half from the stumps on each end to mark the batting and bowling crease. The captain was privileged to perform all the pre-game rituals because he was big enough to be a big bully and rich enough to buy the ball and the plank of wood called bat.

The captain divided the available boys into 2 teams and the process of selection was strict .Each team should have at least 4 batsmen – boys who could hold the bat correctly and take a good looking stance and of course the ability to hit the ball with a straight bat, because a cross-batted shot would ‘break the bat ‘.

It is immaterial that few of us knew at that age what it is to play straight or across. A rule is a rule. When you don’t like someone you declare that he plays cross-batted shots and that was the ultimate cricketing insult.

The definition for a good bowler was very simple. One who could swing his arm around without a jerk and release the ball above the head level was a bowler. If it is done with some velocity then he was a great bowler. Usually there were at least a Lindwal and a Miller on one side and a Truman and a Statham on the other.

The no-ball rule was the same as the back foot-behind the bowling crease rule of those days. The ways to get a batsman out were the same as in standard cricket but an additional clause was needed to bring order in the field.

Generally we carried one ‘bat’ and the runner usually carried a 3 foot long stick in his hand in lieu of the ’ bat’. When a single was taken the two should exchange bats. For this they had to move out of the safety of the crease.

Then both should declare in an audible if not loud voice ‘B.C’ (the short-form for ‘Bat Change’. If either fails to follow this rule, they do so at the risk of losing their wicket ‘run-out’).

The game started (on all weekdays) only after all players (dear to the captain) are on the field. If it becomes known that one or more of the chosen ones should come late they shall notionally be included in a team. The less than mortals who dared to come late shall be consigned to the team fielding first with the stipulation that they should bat last, if the light didn’t fail, by then.

The game could start only by 5 pm everyday and there was hardly an hour of good light condition. As an insurance against some players not getting a chance to bat at all, a fair rule was in operation that a batsman in this crease for twelve balls or till he makes twenty runs whichever came earlier.

Some batsman could misuse the rule by playing out the full quota of twelve balls a sub-clause to the rule was made that if a batsman plays three consecutive defensive shots (balls left alone were also construed as balls played defensively) shall be declared out for time warning.

We made a thousand little laws that day outside the rule, but each new law added had some innocent logic behind it. Now looking back to the cricket we played some 60 or more years, we can only lovingly admire at the inventiveness of the child’s mind. Amid all the sick hurry of the game as it is played today, a mental transportation of the self to an age of innocent joy is blaming. I would say ‘That was Cricket’.

by M Rajagopalan
A self made wicketkeeper & opening bat, he was one of those early cricketers in South India who was paid for his bus fare and food to play in a far off town.

Read more...

Who'll support Bopara, Shah, Rashid, Panesar?

by K

With the all important England v Pakistan match slated for this evening, I think this is the right time to express my views on a very contentious issue.

I agree with Andrew Flintoff and Nasser Hussain when they say that Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi immigrants to England should ideally support England as their FIRST team and not their country of origin.

In my view atleast second/third generation Brits of Indian origin: those who hold a British passport, are born in England, educated there, speak and behave like the English, have a parallel culture of their own (be it language, values, music, lifestyle, food, dressing sense, turbans) which is nothing like ours here in India, need to do some introspection before they decide to support India in an India-England game. (Britain's fav dish Chicken Tikka Masala, largely unknown in India, is a manifestation of this parallel culture)

While supporting England in an India-England game, the second generation British Desi does not take the following into consideration:

1. After all players like Bopara, Rashid, Shah and Panesar are also a part of the British Asian community. In fact, they are the true representatives of the community. They have beaten the odds to earn a place in the English team. Who'll support them?

2. The British Desi's support for India in an India-England game alienates him from mainstream British society and leads to further xenophobia among the Brits. This is bad for the Brit Desis themselves (in the long run) as well as for people like us who travel to England once in a while.

So according to me the Brit Desis have a moral duty to support England in Eng vs Ind/Pak games but can support their country of origin whenever Ind/Pak is playing a third team.

Moral of the story: Country of origin needs to be respected and loved but loyalty should be reserved for country of birth and residence. After all, I'd be disgusted if I find a third generation Englishman living in India, supporting England in an India-England match.

Disclaimer: My comments are not aimed at NRIs (Non Resident Indians) or Indian passport holders working abroad but are instead for PIOs (Persons of Indian Origin) who are born and bred in a foreign land and hold a foreign passport.

The above-mentioned issue grabbed the attention of the author while he was pursuing his Masters in Law in England (University of Warwick, Warwickshire: Shakespeare's County).

Read more...

Predicting Ishant Sharma's hairstyle

by Scorpicity

Ravi Shastri never fails to mention how Ishanth has come a long way from that magnificent Australian test series. Only thing so baffling about such repeated hype is that Ishant Sharma's record has indeed come a long way from being promising to plain mediocre over the recent few series, often in danger of even surpassing Ajit Agarkar's record baffling territory.

If there is any significant improvement in Ishanth over the years is the fact that he has learned all the showmanship antics of fast bowlers, with all the sledging, quizzical looks, the just-missed jokes and smiles at the batsmen and so on. That is if any except Ravi Shastri could define that as an improvement.

All right, I am being unnecessarily harsh and there is still time for the good bloke to get his act together and stay focused. Besides, I like this guy and no, not in a gayish pansy way.

The other significant aspect is the number of hair style changes he comes up for each series. From short to a flowing gold streaked hair, yours truly has introspected on whether Ishant has the old teenage dilemma on whether to sport a plain old next door neighbor boring boy look or to be the wild man from Borneo a la Tarzan minus Jane with only the monkey for company look.

To research this phenomenon on whether there is a relation to the hair lost by all the cutting and his form, I decided to seek the help of the mad scientist, whose formulas could not arrive at a conclusion on whether the hair being cut has an impact on form.

However, surprisingly what the formula derived was a pretty accurate prediction on what hair style will Ishant sport for each of the series being played in the Future Tours Program.

I reproduce the formula minus the calculations for a query on the hair style which Ishanth will sport in the next Australian test series against India in 2011.






And behold... the answer.





All right... This is meant to be a joke. I like Ishant.

Read more...

Testing, testing…

by RajaB

Thy career shalt be doomed

If thou is 21

And thy still fight for a place in your college or league 15

- "Mark" thou words for posterity


That is from the old testament of cricket

Well, if we are to go by the scriptures of the old testament of cricket then what do I do ? I am more than 21, can’t I play the great game of cricket ?

The answer to this question are those various gully cricket leagues and the corporate cricket tournaments. While the gully is the answer to the seasoned book cricketer, the corporate league is for those who were wannabe’s. The ones who pissed on to their left thigh inners, trying to imitate that Kapil Dev’s poster without minding the moment, those who were called “poor spastic kids” for they aped Krish Srikanth’s oral fixation, those who invited a hunch for they could walk-in from deep point like an Azza or those who chewed gum like there was no tomorrow and walked with a swagger which made that drunken uncle next door look pretty, for they wanted to be seen as Sir Ian Vivian Alexander.

These are exactly the ones who take the corporate cricket seriously, the ones who manage to wake-up, wake-up despite a watery night. And drive / ride down for a game of cricket. But if we wanted only these guys to play corporate cricket then we wouldn’t have a eleven. To fill a team we would also need those who only played cricket of the mouth, book, mind, tongue, and also the wannabe’s.

I belonged to one of these categories and so did our protagonist. The corporate Chennaite would be familiar with the Bluestar and the Bluesky tournaments. This was a Bluestar tournament before it lost its sheen. And our man was a leggie, known in our office cricket circles more not as a cricketer but as someone who was a classmate (if I am not wrong or at least a batchmate) of a (former?!!) India cricketer. A spinner again, left arm but. His name being, Murali Kartik.

This particular match happened on the RK Mutt School Grounds, in T Nagar, Chennai. Our protagonist walks post putting on the pads the 8th man had left to dry. He was facing an offie who had been the most potent of bowlers in the match.

The offie, decided that he would try one of his special variations for our leggie. It was a floater, which was on air for a while more than how long those Biman Air flights would. Our man was, for whatever reasons heavily influenced by Sanjay Manjrekar that day. He had to leave the ball by itself, “Well left” as they would call.

He never realized that it was a rather straight ball, a dart on his middle stumps. He had anyway decided to leave. Being a right handed bat, he decided to get his right leg right parallel to the crease and his left leg. Yes, facing the bowler and the ball as if he were challenging the ball “I am the man, what the &^*@ do you…”

The ball darted in as if it were focusing on a triangular plastic target hidden inside a cotton trouser clad fork. And it landed, right in the middle of the box. It was one of the most agonizing slow motion “shots” I have ever seen in my life. I saw our man being floored, so slow that I could see his sleeves dusting the floor and his bat hitting the ground toe first.

It took all of 15 minutes for us to resuscitate him, of course sans a MTM for to his luck the girls in office failed us this particular day.

When he did stand up, he seemed like vehicle with a bent fork. Many in the team thought it was a permanent disability. So when the match did get over, some of the good folks managed to hit the old book stores of Triplicane, buying some old issues of Fun & Fantasy, Erotica and the odd Playboy's and Penthouse. The others went straight to Parry’s corner in search of movies that carried a public rating of 3 of the 24th letter in capitals.

We gifted the books and the CD / DVD’s to him asking him to test himself. For, introspection is the best test before you decided to prove your manhood to the world.

If you enjoyed someone enjoying a book / CD test then you must enjoy this…

Read more...

Age of Nano Pornography!

by Bored Guest

Indian Premier League is the latest lesson for understanding post modern economics and politics. Oxford University has a course called PPE (Philosophy, Politics and Economics) , but now I would like to institute a course called CPE , replacing Philosophy with Cricket theory. Philosophy is too time consuming and boring for understanding the nature of reality, we need a metaphor, a language that can be more relevant in the context of life as it is lived now.

Five day cricket belonged to a time when institutions lived for a long time, you lived and died in the same company or organisation and had ideologies that you clung onto for your whole life. Then came one day cricket, when you had the coming of frequent divorces and you needed to shift companies to grow your career and hype was getting more important than function. We talked about instant coffee and instant cricket. From timelessness we had reached the age of the instant. With the coming of the internet even a day was filled with too many nano-seconds, with a click you changed what you wanted, even an instant seemed too long. We have divided the moment too, along with our day into various slots. Serial monogamy feels dated, now we want the freedom of multiple choices in every instant. T20 belongs to this age. And IPL is the chapter which Indians have written.

Not that it is an origonal invention but as a great painter said , art is about making it your own, so Indians have taken T20 to a combination of play, colours, sexuality with their own "tadka" and made it international. They have learnt the great ecological activist's lesson "Think Global,Act Local". Some might call it "pornographic" cricket, the origin of the word meant "depiction of prostitutes", today all, each and everyone of us are available for a price to the right bidder. Our jobs our talents are part of the market. Market has replaced society, we value ourselves as much as our net wealth (not including the value of our residence , "Fortune" magazine says so).So we live in the Age of Nano Pornography.

Also nationalism is a decaying concept, whether we like it or not. It’s either extreme localisation. We belong (if we are modern and careerists) to Infosys, Google, Microsoft or if vernacular to Tamils, Baluch, Bosnians, Zulus etc. etc.. So obviously a format in which some belong to the city, some to the nation and some international is like a coalition of interests like our political coalitions. From regional parties, to national parties with international players like Sonia Gandhi we in India now are looking to a democracy like T20. Day is not far when governments will last for few months only, we already had a 13 day government once. Our companies are local and have expats too, same with Silicon valley where H1B visas flood ventures of the software kind. So the Age of Nano Pornography is about some being auctioned off every year and some stuck to their local geographies.

There might be purists and moralists who hate this age and want like various fundamentalists to go back to the haloed past, but I believe that is not possible. I believe that this is the coming of the boundary-less world, which mirrors Facebook. You can choose your Groups, and leave them when you want. So also with your fluid personal identities which are a combination of local, national and global. No one will kill you for being a traitor or apostate. It will be a seamless exchange society.

All we need to care about is about Climate Change. If we all get our kicks from playing games that are carbon neutral and have passion and flavour, we will obviously use less material resources.

T20 and IPL are signposts to a better world, believe me you, its another page in the evolution of humankind to a harmonious society. It was not predicted in the Bible, Koran or Gita but that is the whole big excitement of true adventure. We can never predict till the last bowl is bowled.

by Sunny Narang

Read more...

The “Baadshah of Bollywood” and I

by Bored Guest

I remember the days when we played cricket together, the “Baadshah of Bollywood” (King of Bollywood), Shah Rukh Khan and I. We were schoolmates. He was the wicket keeper and I the opening batsmen for our junior school cricket team at St. Columba’s School, New Delhi.

One thing is for sure, SRK was more dynamic and charming behind the wicket than I was.

I played the ‘slow & steady, old style knocks’ that kept one end of the wicket fortified. That was the call of the day. Dynamic, ‘fling around the bat in any style cricket’ culminating in today’s T20 format was unthinkable back then. Our coaches, Gurcharan Singh (an ex Ranji Trophy coach) and Br. Eric Steven D’Souza (a Vice Principal at our school and cricket coach, also SRK’s mentor since then) would have disapproved of the awkward and effective batting techniques as used today by Mahendra Singh Dhoni. But, regardless of what I think today, two dear friends of mine always claimed and continue to claim that my style was more like that of Anshuman Dattajirao Gaekwad (Indian test team 1975 - 1985), implying that it was slow and… ah, well, let’s not talk about it. Yes, I still am in a state of partial denial about playing slow knocks in 20-30 over games.

Whatever, we emulated long innings played by ‘The Masters’ of our day and age, eg. Sunil (Sunny) Gavaskar. Believe it or not, I had even adapted his stance, i.e. ‘fixate the right leg, lift the one on the left, circle it around and then gently let it fall into position’. Enjoy looking at any old video footage to see what I am talking about. This is, seen today, as funny and special as Sachin (The Little Master) Tendulkar’s leg bends whilst standing, just before he takes his batting position.

The reasons for the two masters so diverse movements surely were quite different. After analyzing the movement so unique to Sachin, it must be said that it originates in a crotch guard that refused to stay in place or one that tweaked his gonads a little too frequently. Sachin, being an Indian, could of course have indulged in a very Indian men’s habit: crotch scratching or repositioning in public! But, because he was being filmed and constantly scrutinized on screen, he refrained from that rather disgusting habit whenever he was out there on the pitch. Whatever, his special habit did not disappear even though cricketing equipment got better and better over the years. Now, I cannot criticize what Sunny did because I imitated him. Well, that’s how much of an influence ‘The Greats’ had on us.

At practice, I remember SRK finding my Sunny Gavaskar style left leg lift quite funny and then he would invariably have his effervescent, dimple-cheeked smile going for me. Yup, he was always very amused.

I remember SRK, possibly emulating the great wicketkeeper Syed Mujtaba Hussein Kirmani (Indian test team 1976 - 1986), being somewhat relaxed/ sluggish in nature but he used to come alive once he was behind the stumps, keeping wicket. Others will confirm that SRK also played field hockey. Regardless of the sport, most will agree that he was athletic back then. Seeing his dance steps, hip moves, pirouettes and what have you on screen today, chasing fictitious gangsters or real heroines around, one will agree – he is athletic even today. I shall not comment on his ‘6-Pack Abs’, as I have never seen or felt them.

Shah Rukh was an amicable guy, i.e. he always was in a good mood around me. We had fun on the cricket field and off of it. Being junior to me by two years at school obviously meant that we were less around each other, i.e. once we were off the cricket field. But we had common friends. One of his best friends Vivek (Khushu) Khushlani spent a whole lot more time with me in the pool back then. We were on the school swimming team together. Khushu was smaller and thinner then and is much taller and bigger now. You’ll see him often on TV with his very silver, straight hair, sitting there, right next to Shah Rukh Khan. Yup, he’s SRK’s buddy alright.

Talking of TV… I guess that it was a combination of many things that got SRK involved with the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) T20 team that play in the DLF IPL tournament. Besides friends that coaxed him into it, the prime reason is that SRK is an avid sports fan. He appreciated all forms of sport back then and does so even now. Some might ask, is this also because it is about the big money? The answer is rather straightforward: SRK has never denied that he will do what makes him happy and more successful. For a man that emerged from a modest background, he has all the rights to enjoy the proceeds and laurels of his own hard work.

Like many of us, including most mentioned in this article, even SRK’s wife Gauri Khan (maiden name ‘Chibba’) was what we, in India, call ‘convent educated’. She went to Loreto Convent in New Delhi and her love story can be read all over the world-wide-web. Nope, she did not play cricket but she did fall in love with KKR’s owner!

I mention love and I must think about my girlfriend, Kavita. Her late father Col. Bob Muthanna was in the Army with SRK’s father-in-law Captain Ramesh Chibba, both a part of the ‘1st Sikh Light Infantry’ (Battalion). Ramesh had left the Army and Bob passed away in 1989 but their wives have been in touch ever since.

Okay, jumping a bit… there’s the recent success story of “The Zoya Factor”, a book on the passion of cricket in its many dimensions, written by Anuja Chauhan. No, she is not Sunny Gavaskar’s opening batsman partner Chetandra (Chetan) Pratap Singh Chauhan’s (Indian test team 1969 - 1981) daughter but yes, she is married to Niret (Choku) Alva, co-owner of MidiTech TV, also an ex batch mate of mine and schoolmate of ours. He just about landed up being my brother-in-law back then, believe it or not? It gets better: My girlfriend’s cousin, Pria is married to Niret’s younger brother Nikhil (Niki) Alva, also known to me from my school days. Yet another connection!

Now, here’s another angle to it: The rights to film “The Zoya Factor” are now with SRK. How did these get to him? Well, Anuja knew SRK from her days managing the Pepsi account at J. Walter Thompson Advertising, where she is an Executive Creative Director and Vice-President today. SRK was then a brand ambassador for Pepsi.

Now, if you think that is it… Ha, check this out… back to the IPL:
Lalit Kumar Modi, the Chairman & Commissioner, also the “Wizard of the IPL” was not only my schoolmate, he was my class mate, too (in 11-B). We actually studied together or should I say bought our books together. Yup, we did.

Six degrees of separation, huh?!
I guess we are all related or are all known to each other in some way or the other. These are all connections indeed to the “Baadshah of Bollywood” but nothing beats first-hand memories and narratives from friends.

Besides, times might change but one’s love for cricket and each other doesn’t really ‘take a hit’ or ‘go for a six’… what a great game!!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
Went to school with Shah Rukh Khan and even played cricket with him in the early 1980s. You’ll find him seated on page 60 in the Baadshah of Bollywood’s coffee table book called “SRK” but the date there is all wrong.

Read more...

Time zones...

by Homer

The hardest part of watching cricket is to stay awake long enough to watch it. And if you are in the United States, it is harder than usual.

For starters, there is really no discussion of the game to be had - at the work place, in social circles and amongst friends ) okay, a little bit amongst friends, but nowhere close to the enthu that is the hall mark of a cricket discussion in des).

Then there are the weird hours - the best time zones from a cricketing perspective are Australia and New Zealand. 6 PM starts, 2 PM ends, late to bed,early to rise, making Homer wise.

India is brutal - 10:30 -11:30 PM starts, game stretching on to 5 AM or later, totally murdering the sleep cycle.

England heralds 5:30 AM starts, South Africa 3 AM - how I lived thru the World Cup of 2003 and the Ashes of 2005, retaining both my job and my sanity, still staggers me!

Logically, the West Indies is the best time zone to be watching the cricket - because it is the same time zone as the Eastern seaboard ( Jamaica excepting). And possibly the worst time zone to be watching cricket because, unless you are on a paid vacation, it is difficult to get any cricket in. Something called life seems to continuously intrude!

The IPL, in South Africa ( and India), beamed for prime time in India, is just about perfect. The first game begins at 6:30 AM, the second at 10:30 AM - Ctrl - R/ F5 do the trick thru the second game while I can get to see the first half of the first game.

And since there is the replay, watching the game ( despite knowing the results, or because of knowing the results) does not intersect with life. Atleast,not as much.

That being said, bliss was February of 1998. I was between jobs, spending the entire month at home ( this was in India). Australia were playing South Africa in Australia, Sri Lanka were in India and England were in the West Indies. And this was well before there was a dedicated channel just for the cricket ( yes,I remember those times and yes, I AM that old!).

The term "round the clock coverage" took a whole different meaning then.

Bliss!

Read more...

Kirkit ke gyarah fayde!

by Bored Guest


by Sunny Narang

Me and my wife have been visiting and working in a village called Kaladera, in Rajasthan, since the last 15 years, with traditional hand block textile printers, a caste known as “Chippa”. The family we were working with had three sons whom two were school going age when we started visiting in 1994. There was no regular electricity , and in the neighbourhood they had a tiny black and white TV which all the neighbouring kids came over to watch in the evening. The closest phone was in a small town ten km away. There was not much craze about cricket or anything urban, the kids watched films but could not differentiate between stars. Then somehow regular electricity happened with better infrastructure. People started buying fridges, motorcycles and colour TVs. Programs were beamed through the day. STD,ISD booths came up. Live cricket matches were seen and pirated VCD’s of the latest Bollywood releases were seen the very next day. Kirkit happened in a big way. Local school matches, matches between teams made of different neighbourhoods, even gully cricket. All ages of boys, even some village girls, a young 20 something girl who was our assistant used to be called by all the neighbouring boys to play cricket too, as she was a huge fan and loved encouraging cricket across caste and creed.

We thought we would use cricket and do some “progressive” movement by sponsoring a cricket trophy and prize money, but with one rule. No team would be allowed more than six members of one caste, as we wanted kids of all castes to play together in a team. We were told its not possible in a village. Its funny, we are in the 21st century, rural India leaves its villages and works together, eats together, plays together in its big cities but in its villages and small towns it clings desperately to its caste equations. We have counted more than 20 castes, both Hindus and Muslims, among a population of ten thousand, strict vegetarians in the village will eat meat as if there is no tomorrow the moment they get to the big city. The women never watched the movies as they were rarely taken to the city or a cinema hall, but the TV came into the homes. So came in Saas Bahu serials and Kirkit! We in cities do not realise the seismic shift that has happened in the last ten years in rural India with TV and the mobile phone. Young are growing up with urban aspirations in a largely rural country.

The thing about films is that they exist within the desi framework. Song, story, predictability. Cricket is international , its a global language which is accessible to everyone, its not lost in translation , its about fingers , about the wrist , about raw talent, about hard work. It goes beyond caste, religion, region, nationality, language, and its “pure male” like the Greek Gods, so it gives a space to the most feudal . Taliban can play kirkit, even a Beckham with his thong.

In India from my maid who comes to clean my flat, who has a son aspiring to be a pace bowler, to my mother who is as upper class Delhi Punjabi as it gets, “ Sabko kirkit ka kraze hai”. Baccha baccha energy drink peeta hai because Dhoni says so- a grandfather complained to me about his 4 year old grandson, “TV is their parent now” he continues.

So I decided to make a list of big and small things Kirkit does for our Bored Cricket Crazy !ndian society.

1. Teaches most Indians better geography ( South Africa, Zimbabwe, etc. )

2. Pronunciation skills are made better ( you will understand when you hear a Haryanvi saying names like Symonds and Shane Warne, imagine if we had Russian cricketers!)

3. National Integration, players from all regions(North-East still left out)

4. Religious tolerance(Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Isai, Parsi sab Bhai Bhai )

5. Gives us bored of film programming couch surfers some choice.

6. Makes math skills better ( batting average, runs per over etc. etc. provided me good childhood training for my IIT entrance exams!)

7. Social mobility ( Irfan Pathan, Dhoni- bhai without college degree how many jobs will make you crores)

8. Meritocracy ( some illusion in our “teri kya pull hai” culture that raw talent and hard work takes you somewhere)

9. Bollywood heroines find husbands ( Sharmila Tagore, Sangeeta Bijlani)

10. Our huge Black money reserves can find an outlet to have some fun on the satta bazaar.It does give employment to so many people like bookies , matchfixers etc

11. Pakistan ke saath dosti

Read more...

That drum roll of a ball

by Gaurav Sethi




I shut my eyes.

Standing behind the leg umpire, who, in turn, stands by the batsman, this is my way to connect with their cricket.

But it doesn’t work that way. Just like they can’t open their eyes and connect with our cricket.

But in the hour that followed it wasn’t their cricket or our cricket, it was everybody’s cricket.

And no matter how much you meddle with it, twist and turn it, somehow cricket comes through.

So my eyes are shut. And I’m trying to think, and feel like them. Lasts no longer than a few seconds. I wanted to know what that drum roll of a ball feels like. What it feels like standing in a Zen like sweep stance, ready to sweep.

Snap out of it. Think he might sweep my head off. On a cricket field my instincts of self preservation invariably take over.

14 kids in three slots: B1, B2, B3, based on how much or how little they can see. Some kids can’t see at all, they’re blindfolded, looks like they’re some cool Kung-fu warriors, set to take on a more evolved Chinese version of Cricket-Fu-Man-Chu!They’re all in nifty tracks. And the song’s playing ‘from Chandichowk to China’.

Before the game begins, I take the field in –it’s bigger than the Kotla, but then most grounds are. Kids warm up, fielding gigs, throwing the drum roll ball and throwing themselves at it. Trust the bounce, trust the field, go-for-the-ball, flat out in every way. Watch these kids flinging themselves at the ball, looks like some Jonty drill.

Coach doubles up as umpire. He’s a chatty fellah so we chat. Rules: bowl underarm with the ball bouncing before the halfway line. Savvy field distribution: where does a B1 go – short midwicket, short cover etc. B2s further out. B3s in place. The kids who can see some keep wickets, do the running.

Let’s Rock ‘n’ Roll: 10 overs, 15 overs, whatever we can get in. This is the IIT Delhi cricket ground, Dean, students, the future of India is in.

I’m the lone wolf with a camera. And I’m at short cover, soon short mid off. Looks like KP is setting me up.

First ball: bowler holds on to the stumps, finds his footing, right (under) arm over the wicket. And announces: BATSMAN READY!

That was said again and again and again. BATSMAN READY!

That’s cricket for you: one kid telling another to get ready. And sometimes even the batsman used to echo his words: BATSMAN READY!

As there were 14 kids, no teams, just a fluid system where one B1 replaces another, B2 for a B2, and so on - everybody bats, bowls, fields. Just like good old numbering.

My chat with Coach-umpire sneaks me into their system, the coaching, the zones, even the World Cup. But I just can’t take my eyes off the game. Recall this much- it’s a plastic ball with metal shavings in it. I’m a metal head now.

Not since Gooch vs. India have I seen so much sweeping. Not since Sachin have I seen anybody sweep so fine. And though no reverses one kid did tonk it in my direction. Naturally I ran.

By now the press was in on it. The mobile press box was everywhere – mid off, leg slip. I was at the leg umpire’s where a batsman would cool his heels, often with this college kid holding him in place, like an old buddy, arm around. (Clicked that). Btw the runner or non-running batsman was always behind the line. The rules were worked out. This wasn’t faux cricket. It was the real deal.

While No.3 Govind was Gooching away, I checked with the scorekeeper – 4,1,3,4,2…hell, he was on 49. And then Govind tried to smash one towards Mech. Drawing but got Civil Engineered. He was castled.

Scoreman and I felt his pain. The coach didn’t. He clapped. Twisted guy claimed it was good to get out on 49. Not one for the milestones. Wonder what he thinks of stones? Was he inspired by Sachin’s comment?

Next a tailender. By the time the ball got to him, he would sweep once, twice, at times even thrice. Coach piped in with a kind word. Followed by the fielders, the bowler and even me –that worked as he swept square for one. Applause! Next over Walsh was out.

As he walks past me to mid wicket, I rave about his shot. He mock leaps in the air, ‘Just like Sachin’

Next ball he saves a full blooded shot throwing himself at the ground – don’t know whether it was his stomach, chest or face but he had every inch of him behind that drum roll of a ball.

"Batsman Ready?!"





That drum roll of a ball


Down to thirdman for a single


Batsman Ready.


Hot selling wickets - 'HIT' WICKET!


A good ol' fashioned Indian 5th Day pitch


Read more...

The Bench warmers X1

by Bored Member

By scorpicity

This is a long hop and for the Test x1... There are obviously many missed off my memory and hence it is not a well thought-out comprehensive line-up but one born out of waiting endlessly in an airport lobby.

The Batsmen:

Shaun Marsh

Arguably the best of the lads being churned out of the Australian domestic system. Chances of him playing for Australia are when the legendary batsmen in the current line-up develop acute chronic hernia.

Ravi Bopara and Owais Shah

England could easily feature an alternative 11 that will beat their national team 50-0 in any format of the game... that includes playing immediately after a bypass surgery. Victims of the sub-organization that unofficially run the ECB called “Stick-up-to-the-Bum-pals Inc.”

Yuvraj Singh – captain of the bench warming x1

Do we need to say more.

Boeta Dippenaar and Mohammed Kaif

Both remain an eternal mystery on all fronts... One, being, are they actually good enough at this level. Two, where they unlucky to be born at the wrong time and place. One can never know. The only positive is that both are incredibly boring when they bat, which is really cool for us and all the pensioners in the world.

Mark Ramprakash

100 first class centuries, a county cricket legend and a role model among the kids taking up the sport in England... A living testimonial of how overrated English county cricket is.

Russell Arnold

The fall guy, who averages over 40 and has rescued Sri Lanka countless number of times and yet invariably found himself on the benches. Had no choice but to buckle down to a fat lump of solidified flour through much of his career, usually as the by-runner.

The bowlers:

Andre Nel – Spearhead

The chances of this fiery bowler playing for South Africa again under the quota system would be when few of his white team-mates contract hepatitis-C.

Charles Langeveldt

Did a first among the benchwarmers and went straight into the hall of fame. An opportunity to play under the quota system arose for him and he chose to go into voluntary bench warming exile. The last news heard was him calling up Nel on the phone and singing the Def Leppard classic “I'll be two steps behind”.

Nathan Bracken

Australia's best fast bowler in all the shorter versions of the game. Somehow doesn't find favor for the longer version. Maybe it is those ugly hair bands that don't look cool in whites. Pray, cricket Australia did a smart move in not introducing two bowlers like Clarke and Bracken in the same match. Imagine the agonizing hara-kiri fans in the stadium will be committing watching these two boring bowlers in action.

Sajid Mahmood

Right arm fast and wayward. The twin brother of Ashish Nehra, separated at birth.... It is unmistakable... that nose.... All Nehra's have that nose. With the “Stick-up-to-the-Bum-pals Inc.”in full operation, he has no chance other than being the water boy. Not very sad but true.

Stuart Macgill

For over a decade, he was Shane Warne's groupie and trusted sidekick. When he did get promoted, it was too late... he had contracted hip dysplasia along with Shane Warne's Labrador. A really sad but true story here.

Murali Karthik

One like Russell Arnold... An Indian parallel. His best hope is if Middlesex and England adopts him.

Now that we are through with the players, we ought to go for the bench warming coaches. Hey! I know all coaches in the world do nothing but warm the benches. But these are special.

Dave Whatmore

Perhaps the only coach in world cricket today, who has incredible turnaround results in his kitty... Yet, he has no respect or stature as they say due to either what he was as a player or possibly what he showed to his team mates in the changing room. A really really sad but true case.

“Guru” Greg Chappell

Of course, none will associate Greg as a bench warmer... no way. But I say, he will soon be for the future. I doubt after his stint with the Indian team and especially his 'yet-another-failed-vision plan' for Australia in that Indian series, it will be a brave or homosexually desperate board that will employ him in the future.

Sadly, even among my bench warmers X1, there are 14 listed candidates, which means even among the bench warmers, there are candidates likely to be a bench warmer's bench warmer. That takes the cake and the baking soda.

Now who will be so cruel to do that. Not me!

Read more...

How long will he hold on?

by Bored Member

by Raja Baradwaj

When this person called Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar became the highest run getter in test history, it would have been around 6-7p (roughly) down under and about 11a or so in England. At that point in time it was the euphoria of someone having broken a big record that dominated the press. Now that it is about 48 hours since and the feeling sinking in, I am sure a lots of them have started thinking / writing about the next stage. Their prediction about the state of this record

So the logical next question is… Who will break it?

Ricky Ponting or Jacques Kallis? For they seem to be the closest to breaking the record.

So here I am trying to crunch some numbers to figure the fate of the record, when will it be broken and who will.

Source: http://www.cricinfo.com/

Assumptions

1. The last biggie to retire was a small man called Brian Charles Lara, he retired when he was 37. So 37 has been taken as the benchmark year here for the other three players in question.
2. Based on the number of years they have been playing and the number of matches they have played, we have arrived at a number of matches they play on an average per year. Based on which we have arrived at a number of matches they would play further (projected)
3. To arrive at the number of runs they would score in the years left, 3 scenarios were looked at
(a) Their average at the start of their career. First 25 matches
(b) Average at present. The last 25 of their matches
(c) The average across their career
(d) The best among these three has been taken as the projected average for the rest of their career

Interesting takeouts

1. The bottom line seems to be very tightly poised, there is a less than 200 run difference between the two players as they finish their careers
2. We traditionally know Sachin as a very poor second innings player (remember my previous hard hitting stats post?!!). One look at Ponting proves he is no better. Both of them have only 27% of their total runs come from the second innings.
3. Ponting has a good match average because he has far more incomplete innings, meaning not outs etc.
4. While Sachin seems to have a steady average across his career, the other two have had a very good last few years. The variance between the first 25 and last 25 match average for Ponting is +25 and for Kallis is +14
5. Kallis is an odd man in this club. He has a very healthy second innings average. The variance of first to second is +8. The only one to have so
6. We could literally rule Kallis out of the race for the simple reason that he is an allrounder. This means that the wear and tear is more compared to the other two.
7. Sachin too has a fair share of his injuries. More recently a cricket irrelevant injury, the tennis elbow!! And Ponting too is not left far behind. So what are we talking about here??

While we have been speaking about the present, we also need to have one look at the past. For there have been some splendid players who, had they had opportunity like the blessed ones today, they would have placed the bar miles away.

Source: http://www.cricinfo.com/

Interesting facts

1. Geoffrey Boycott baffles me. His career spanned across 18 tumultuous years, as we all know he also quit playing as and when he liked. In spite of all this, had he played like the others did, more importantly like the England of those days, he would have played about 9 matches an year on an average. That would have left him at 15,374 test runs
2. One look at the figures here tells you a big story. The story of test matches across years, there was a time (Geoff, Sunil & Allan) when they played full 5 days cricket, when both the innings were equally important. As test cricket evolved, the second innings became more irrelevant. The strategy now changed to put a huge score, choke them. Because of this the present day cricketer is pressured to apply himself well in the first innings and then he plays the second innings either to win or for a desperate draw. The result, a poor second innings record.
3. Steven Waugh seems to be as lucky as talented a man he is. He has been at the right place at the right time. The accumulator he is, he wouldn't have had enough chances like he had, had he started today

There are many more things one could read from these two simple charts. I leave the rest to your imaginations.

Well, as we all know statistics are like miniskirts. They reveal more than they hide.

There is also a converse to this…

Talent is like a dhoti, it covers more than it should reveal.

We are talking about 3 real talents at present. The competitive environment today is, you never know when any one of them would retire or where they would place the bar should they retire.

It would be for time to say where, when and how.

Till then let’s all join in saying Cheers!! Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, Laghe raho.

Read more...

Presenting Cricket's Razzie Awards

by Bored Member

by VM

Welcome to the cricket’s Razzies, folks! We've seen the ICC Awards for last year, shouldn't we see the Razzies? For those of you who aren’t familiar with Razzy Awards check this out.

Categories for the Razzies this year are for Worst Batsman, Worst Bowler and Emerging Flop-show.

I’ve restricted my nominees to Tests as I have followed mostly only Tests in the past year. I welcome you to present your own for the ODIs in a new thread if it interests you enough.

Since we’re democratic, so I will only nominate. You pick your winners!
My picks for Worst Batsman and Bowler are Hershelle Gibbs and Sreesanth respectively. My Emerging flop-show award goes to Dinesh Karthik.

In case you were wondering, the criterion for nomination for batsmen was:
- batting position between 1 and 7
- only regular dismissals allowed (no hit wicket or other strange mode of dismissal)
- should have featured in more than 5 Tests in the past year
From this list I picked people who have either have a very low (less than 30) average for a high batting position or whose averages have dipped significantly from their overall averages. That is how Vaughn, Gayle, Collingwood, Tendulkar, Dravid, Kallis and Ponting made the list.

For bowlers:
- bowling postion between 1 and 4
- should have played 4 or more matches
From this list I picked folks who either got too little wickets for someone bowling in postions 1-4 or those whose strike rates or averages have dipped significantly.

For Emerging flop-show:
- must be a relatively new player
- shown lot of promise in the past and failed in their comeback, or just failed to click in their early opportunity
I've restricted this to Indian players alone due to lack of knowledge, but feel free to add on to this list.

Worst Batsmen this Year
Here are the nominees. Fyi, it is after a lot of thought and sadness I included Dravid in this list. I didn't have the heart to, but the criterion forces me to. :(

Name



M

Inns

NO

Runs

H

Avg

BF

SR

100

50

0

Dinesh Karthik



5

10

0

151

52

15.10

266

56.76

0

1

1

Hershelle Gibbs



5

8

0

152

63

19

267

56.92

0

1

2

Michael Vaughan



12

21

0

578

106

27.52

1325

43.62

1

3

2

Paul Collingwood



12

18

0

601

135

33.38

1273

47.21

1

5

2

Sachin Tendulkar



10

16

0

517

153

32.31

778

66.45

1

3

2

Rahul Dravid



13

22

0

717

111

32.59

1944

36.88

1

4

0

Ricky Ponting



9

15

0

678

158

45.2

1111

61.02

2

3

0

Chris Gayle



5

9

0

274

66

30.44

296

92.56

0

1

1

Mathew Sinclair



5

8

0

147

47

18.37

311

47.26

0

0

0

Jacques Kallis



14

22

0

908

186

41.27

1677

54.14

3

4

1


The career averages for the established batsmen are as follows:
Hershelle Gibbs - 41.95
Michael Vaughn - 41.44
Paul Collingwood - 42.01
Sachin Tendulkar -54.23
Rahul Dravid - 53.92
Ricky Ponting - 58.37
Chris Gayle - 41.95
Mathew Sinclair - 32.55
Jacques Kallis - 55.46

Off topic, but had to add an interesting tidbit here. Own very own Dada is the second highest run getter in Tests this year, second to South Africa's Greame Smith.

Worst Bowler this Year
Here are the nominees. The good part is that this was a hard category as most bowlers (in my criterion) did rather well.

Name

M

I

Overs

Runs

Wk

BBI

BBM

Ave

Econ

SR

5s

10s

Danish Kaneria

4

6

231.4

730

15

4/59

5/213

48.66

3.15

92.6

0

0

Sreesanth

2

2

49.0

191

3

2/87

2/87

63.66

3.89

98

0

0

Jacques Kallis

5

5

93.0

236

4

2/50

4/90

59.0

2.53

139.5

0

0

Mohammed Sami

3

4

102

382

4

2/63

4/212

95.50

3.74

153.0

0

0

Irfan Pathan

4

4

111.2

340

6

3/112

5/117

56.66

3.05

111.3

0

0


Kaneria’s Avg and SR dropped from 33.9 and 68.1
Sreesanth’s Avg and SR dropped from 31.46 3 and 57.4
Kallis’s Avg and SR dropped from 31.22 and 66.6
Mohammed Sami’s Avg and SR dropped from 51.37 and 81.2
Pathan’s Avg and SR dropped from 32.26 and 58.8

Emerging Flop-Show
Here are the nominees:
RP Singh: showed a lot of promise in England, but fizzled out since then
Yuvraj Singh: promised a lot with ODI and T20 form and even in the Test against Pak but failed to deliver in Australia
Dinesh Karthik: could have seized his position as reserve wicket-keeper in Sri Lanka but failed miserably with gloves and bat
Parthiv Patel: had an opportunity similar to Karthik, but failed to impress.

Read more...