The IPL Casting Couch

We are aware about the existence of the so-called [actor’s] “Casting Couch” in Bollywood but here’s an angle:  Is there one at the IPL too?

We know that the IPL is intrinsically related to Bollywood, not just because there is a Preity Zinta, Shilpa Shetty and the Baadshah (Shah Rukh Khan) involved as co-owners of teams but because it is all about the “Show Business” in general.

(Side Note 1:  Actors like Madhavan & Vidya Balan, Irrfan Khan, Katrina Kaif, etc. also grace the occasions.) 

At this stage, I must compliment Lalit Kumar Modi for making the IPL what it is and thus taking Cricket to a whole new level of entertainment, maybe even setting the stage for more countries to join in, such countries that do not play the game as yet?! 

(Side Note 2:  The U.S.A. were never really interested in football (called “soccer” there!) up until they realized that the Soccer World Cup was the second largest event after the Olympics and that it was all about mega TV ratings and billions of dollars. Where there is great marketing, there is big money and the Americans might eventually join in… is Lalit K. Modi eying just that?) 

Back to the Couch!

It’s show business, actors are involved, there big money in it too – so is there also an “IPL Couch” like there is one in Bollywood? 

Let’s take the case of Mandira Bedi.

Mandira has evolved from her early days as the “Sexy Interviewer on the Greens”. She made it into the studio and was broadcast all the time, making her face quite unanimous with that of the IPL. I think that she has evolved, in that she really understands cricket as a game on the one side and that she has even gotten to look better over time, on the other. Fact is brains & beauty are a combination that is hard to beat! 

(Cross Reference: See Priyanka Das’s article in the Times of India)    

So, here are the million dollar questions:

1. Why was Mandira, who was actually supposed to be hosting the IPL as anchor, suddenly dropped from her pre-destined job?
2. Had Mandira’s looks, her charm, her wit gotten her into the Couch zone – where she certainly did not want to be?
3. Now, if the infamous IPL Couch does exist, then the big question is:  who wanted her on it?
4. At this stage I wish to pose yet another seemingly unrelated but maybe very related question indeed:  What is the selection process for the cheer leaders at the IPL??

 

One match follows another, and in all of that, such key issues are mostly swept under the carpet until a denial also sets in.

We at BCC! want you to question all of this… 

Ajoy Eric Lal

He often asks, why the colour of journalism at BCC! cannot be tainted yellow?

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War Cries… and “Howzat” Appeals…

When appealing or rejoicing after a wicket… cricketers are louder than the Native Indians of the Americas just before they launch their lethal attacks!

In the sport of cricket, an Appeal is much like a War Cry and is to be seen as the act of a player on the fielding team asking an umpire for a decision regarding whether a batsman is out or not.

According to the Laws of Cricket, an umpire may not rule a batsman out unless the fielding side appeals. There have been occasions when a batsman has otherwise technically been out, but the fielding team neglected to appeal so the umpire did not declare them out (more in the ‘leg before wicket’ scenario, rather than an obvious ‘bowled’ situation). An appeal may be made at any point before the bowler starts his run-up for the next ball.

According to the Laws of Cricket, an appeal is a verbal query, usually in the form of: “How's that?” to an umpire. Since the taking of a wicket is an important event in the game, members of the fielding team often shout this phrase with great enthusiasm, and it has transmuted into the slightly abbreviated form, “Howzat?”, often with a greatly extended final syllable making it like: “Howzaaaaat?”. During this shout most players also raise their arms or point at the umpire as part of the appeal. Some players have established their own trademark appeals as well. Some players even practice celebrating a dismissal before the decision has been given by the umpire, an action that can have serious consequences as per the ICC.

What I am stating here is that there are many possibilities.

Having clarified the technicalities on this front, let’s get on with the reality of these shouts. Here’s a case study of the energetic Sikh, Madhsudan Singh (Monty) Panesar of England, who is known to be one of the most vigorous appealers of our time.



That’s a dozen pictures for you!

What you have to know is that the number 12 is very significant for Sardars (Sikhs) in their everyday lives (please have any North Indian describe why so)!

I assume that you also understand now, why I picked a temperamental Sardar (Sikh) for my case study… the expressions of aggression, the gesticulations, the jumps, the frightening black beard, the black bandana (Patka) … I tell you: this guy’s got it all to make even the most steadfast of umpires take a decision in his favour (in tests, Monty currently has 126 wickets in 39 matches to his credit).



Also, should you not be successful as a bowler, then you may enlarge the following mask and wear it at your next match… results guaranteed!


I shall write another day about the ‘real Indian equivalents’, including our own ‘leaping Sardar’ Harbhajan (Bhajji) Singh. Bhajji being the North-Indian representation, I shall also analyze his South-Indian counterpart Shanthakumaran Sreesanth. Wow, ever heard this guy cry out? He appeals until he himself gets sick of it!

There are others too, like Anil Kumble, W.P.U.J. Chaminda Vaas, Kevin Petersen, Andrew Flintoff… and way back when (for our history buffs) there was a George Duckworth, who played in the early half of the 20th century for Lancashire and also for England. He was known to be the loudest ‘appealer’ of his time!

Sometimes these guys over do it and then get banned or fined appropriately: Virender Sehwag, Parthiv Patel, Sreesanth, Brett Lee, etc. have all been fined for excessive appealing in the past.

One thing is for sure, it makes for good listening, viewing and some excitement.

Ajoy Eric Lal
… and you thought watching cricket is only about centuries being scored and wickets falling!

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Secret uncovered…

We here at BCC!, expose secrets that cricinfo cannot unearth!

We all know that Virender (Viru) Sehwag wears a bandana under his helmet, generally red or sometimes even blue in colour. We might even know that he is almost bald over the middle portion of his head, all the way from the forehead towards the back of his head. 

Did you ever notice that?

Maybe you didn’t because our national hero Viru even sports a toupee (a wig) sometimes! 

So, what exactly is happening here for Viru’s hair loss to be so drastic? 

1. Is it an old age related challenge?
2. Is the issue all about a defect in his inherited genes?
3. Does it have anything to do with his stress levels having gone through the roof?
4. Are the high levels of heavy metals in Delhi’s drinking water to blame?
5. Is it because his testosterone levels are dipping?

 

These are the plausible theories!

There are some less reasonable ones, too: 

1. Is the weight of the helmet (approx. 500-650g) too great?
2. Is he doing too many headstands when practicing Yoga?
3. Is he getting slapped on the head too often by his wife, Aarti [Ahlawat]?

and lastly

4. Is it a really bad shampoo that is doing away with Viru’s hair?

 

FACT IS, VIRU IS BALDING AND TRYING TO COVER IT UP!  

And here’s the proof that he wears a toupee (a wig) in the latest “Hero-Honda Dhak-Dhak-Go” advertisement for the Hockey World Cup 2010: 

We care about our champions.

When you care about someone, you care about his health.

When you care about his health, you know that low testosterone is surely not good for Viru’s dynamic style of batting! 

Now do understand why I care about Viru’s hair? 

by Ajoy Eric Lal

When I’m not writing about the more obvious things known to all, I am uncovering and documenting secrets that concern the nation – if Viru does well, we all get to enjoy it all the more!

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Nail Biting Cricketers!

One of the most popular pastimes on a cricket field is ‘nail-chewing’ or ‘nail-biting’. After ‘spitting’ it surely is the most popular pastime on the field!

Amazing that -- in a [so-called] gentleman’s sport – these guys are allowed to do it and get away with it?! Why no fines here??

Let’s analyze this somewhat:

So, what are they really doing:  Is it just nervousness? Are these fellows always too tense and is that why they are chewing their fingernails? Is it a lack of calcium in their bodies or is it just a way to recycle calcium?

OR

Are they still in a ‘teething’ state, where they desperately need to gnaw on things, just as little pups do when they grow up?

I mean, it doesn’t have to be the nails -- it can be the cricket ball itself!

Shahid Afridi can show you how that’s best done.

Now, if gnawing the ball is called “ball tampering”, why shouldn’t the prior, be referred to as “finger tampering”? In an abstract fashion, one may ask, does it lead to any particular advantage for the team with the highest percentage of chewed up nails?

Without complicating the issue, let me address what’s more obvious:

Weren’t these guys ever taught at home not to chew on their finger nails? This, well before they were let onto the cricket field, exposed to the cameras and a world-wide audience of children. Is that what our child viewers are meant to emulate [while learning more about cricket]?

Shah Rukh Khan (the poor Bollywood Filmstar with a nicotine addiction!) was banned from smoking in public, last exposed at an IPL cricket match on 21st April, 2009, simply because the cameramen (Nimbus or Neo… whichever?!) couldn’t keep his camera pointed towards the playing field. The reason I bring up smoking is because it is almost as bad an addiction as chewing on nails (ask a psychologist!).

In a day and age of greater consciousness about ‘addictions’, we do have to be careful what we expose our societies to:

1. Drug misuse & addiction (Floyd Landis, Cycling, UCI & Shoaib Akhtar)
2. Sex addiction (Tiger Woods, Golf, PGA & Shane Warne)
3. Nail biting addiction (LeBron Raymone James, Basketball, NBA & Harbhajan Singh)

Fact remains, nails are not just bitten during “nail biting finishes” (like the latest 1-ball win of India against South Africa in the 1-day international at Jaipur on 21^st February 2010) but it is a rampant habit, an addiction that is an integral part of any cricket game on TV today. Some clinical psychologists even call it “a form of cannibalism and a sign of low self esteem”. Wikipedia states that “Onychophagia or nail biting is a common oral compulsive habit in children and adults, affecting around 30% of children between 7 to 10 years and 45% of teenagers” but what about ‘adults’ that are not teenagers anymore? That quoted, is there reason enough for yet another aspect of training/ coaching to come into play? Must India’s Cricket Coach Gary Kirsten concentrate on this aspect, too?


In the meanwhile, do watch reality unfold on TV for yourself, look out for:

• Harbhajan (Bhajji) Singh, standing at deep mid on and chewing away to glory.
• Graeme Smith, standing at first slip and chewing away, nervously.
• Daniel Vettori, biting his nails almost anywhere on the field.
• Even Virendar Sehwag, Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar are often seen with their fingers in their mouths, whilst standing in the slip cordon.

Here’s a case in point, as to how desperate [and deplorable] this habit/ addiction can get:

I hear that our own champion, pseudo sardar ‘Bhajji ‘ (Harbhajan Singh) had at one stage chewed off so much of his finger nails that none were left to chew. So, quite desperate to chew on a nail, he was caught on camera chewing on his toe nails doing one of the flexibility exercises for his back and upper thighs in the warm-up area of a cricket stadium -- you can’t beat that!

(The picture in now unavailable for us, as it was pulled off the net by concerned authorities!)

Where are we getting to?

Are these our heroes of today…  our role models?

We’re not letting anyone off the hook here… I’ll write about ‘spitting on the field’ some other day!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
When I’m watching cricket, I’m not just watching the game but also thinking about all that is subtly happening on and off the field. It’s a kind of analysis Sunil Gavaskar, Ravi Shastri and Harsha Bhogle wouldn’t dare undertake!

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BEARDS ‘n’ BRISTLES… in Cricket

The good old beard is subtly reemerging in international cricket. 

Cricketer turned commentator Dean Jones lost his job by calling the devout South African Muslim Hashim Amla a “terrorist”, while several England fans sported fake beards during a Leeds Test to show their admiration for the Indian Origin Mudhsuden Singh (Monty) Panesar. Not long ago, Harbhajan (Bhajji) Singh was labelled a “patit” Sikh by the SGPC as he trimmed his beard. With his “Patka” (pseudo Turban) and next to no facial hair, Bhajji does look like a young lad… so leave him alone! 

There always is some controversy or the other around beards and, as we know, these obviously come in umpteen variations – by true definition, the moment the man hasn’t shaved for more than a day, he is sporting a beard´… or shall we at least call it a bristle?! 

And then, for men, there’s the women angle… as always.

Many women like facial hair but most don’t, so what do the cricketing wives/ girlfriends like about their men with beards ‘n’ bristles?

Now, now, I wonder:  Does it actually tickle them between the legs when the batsmen come 1, 2, 3 or more down?

Virgin, long haired beards are supposed to be the softest but are they fashionable enough – do women want to be seen walking down Bond Street with a guy sporting one of these “Swamiji/ Guru Beards”?

On the other hand, the constantly shaven, short-haired variety of beards do get rather pokey (yeah, we men do know that too!) but is it this variety that women enjoy more? Are these beards chique [and as useful]? 

Whatever, one thing is certain, in the post 9/11 world, the beard is somewhat controversial. Has it become a prominent religious symbol, perceived negatively by many just for that reason? 

Pakistan’s Mohammad Yousuf grew one soon after his conversion from Christianity to Islam to underline his devotion for his new Faith. Earlier, his former teammates Saeed Anwar and Saqlain Mushtaq had also undergone such a facial metamorphosis.

Gong further back in time [because there really is a history of beards in cricket]:

There was a time when the beard epitomized Victorian splendour. W. G. Grace, the colossus of English cricket, was as popular for his brilliant game as for his long, bushy beard. Back in the 1890s, Australian speedster Ernest Jones once delivered a ball that went through Grace’s beard. The latter, not at all pleased, asked him, “What do you think you’re at, Jonah?” The apology was prompt: “Sorry, Doctor, she slipped.” One wonders what the burly Grace would have done to the other Jones (Dean) had the Aussie called him a terrorist?!

In Grace’s days, there were other bearded cricketers too, such as England’s Alfred Shaw and Australia’s Harry Boyle and George Bonner. 

The beard virtually disappeared from cricket with the death of Grace in 1915. It resurfaced in the 1960s with the emergence of two of India’s finest spinners: Bishan Singh Bedi and Bhagwat Chandrasekhar, the latter lovingly called ‘Chandru’. However, it was in the next two decades when unshaven, rugged looks became trendy again. Several top cricketers grew a beard for a while not because of their religion but only to make a style statement.

England had Ian Botham, Mike Brearley and Mike Gatting, while for Australia there were Greg Chappell and Allan Border. The West Indian “beard brigade” included Andy Roberts, Michael Holding, Malcolm Marshall and Vivian Richards. Pakistan had Wasim Raja and Zaheer Abbas, while the Indian representative was Chetan Sharma (Sikhs Maninder Singh, Balwinder Sandhu and Navjot Sidhu kept a beard for obvious reasons). 

In the 1990s, the clean-shaven “Gillette look” became more than predominant. Pacers Courtney Walsh and Curtley Ambrose, however, occasionally preferred to have a short beard. Among today’s Caribbean bowlers, Corey Collymore has kept the “tradition of beards” alive. 

Today, Danniel Vettori sports a beard more often than not. Even the little master-blaster from Mumbai, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar always has a 3-day beard because it’s the only thing that makes him look his age! 

In contemporary cricket, the beard or bristles are there to stay.

Credits:

We thank Vikramdeep Johal (The Tribune Chandigarh) for the idea. More was added to the article and it was re-edited by Ajoy Eric Lal.

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India won… but only just!

Yes, India won -- but actually it almost lost -- the 2nd Test Match (2010) against South Africa at Kolkata’s Eden Gardens because of three reasons:

1. a ‘Pundit’
2. a major dose of ‘Vitamin C’
3. a chaotic, leftist manipulated megacity named ‘Kolkata’ (Calcutta)

Let me explain the above points in some detail:

Point #1 – the “Pundit” angle:

1. Ishant Sharma (IS) is a “Sharma” and a “Sharma” originated from a “Shaman”, a “Pundit” (Priest to the Hindus) by definition. He isn’t a born bowler, believe me. He just picked it up along the way like all Pundits pick up things during their lifetime.
2. IS, by tradition is not allowed to consume flesh (that said, he may of course inhalate, copulate, consummate women!!). Not eating meat, which we all know is full of proteins and helps power our muscles, is a great deterrent to his bowling. Do note that we do not quite get the same power from eating similar quantities (weight/ volume) of “Daal” (Pulses) in a fully vegetarian diet. This definitely is a disadvantage – do compare IS’s thighs to those of Shoaib Akhtar (The Rawalpindi Express), Pakistan’s beef-eating super-fast bowler.
3. IS believes so much in his Hindu Gods & Goddesses that he always has 4-6 “Malas” (Chains) around his neck. Some even are of the “Kavaj” variety, i.e. contain magical mixtures of some “Jari-Bootis” (Herbs) in a cylindrical little container, all in the hope that his performance [finally] improves, which it did not.
4. IS almost bowled India out of the match!

i.) Where IS should have helped build pressure on the batsmen, he bowled balls far too wide and not at all up to the bat. Not inducing, forcing strokes by the batsmen clearly also implied that no mistakes could be made by them. They remained comfortable at the crease and Bored the hell out of the Cricket Crazy Indian fans – the BCC!

ii.) Where IS should have constrained the batsmen, he bowled no-balls -- one after the other he did just that (9 in all). Yes, India had runs to play with but also not that many and could have beaten South Africa by a much greater margin that the “Innings and 6 Runs” loss of the first test match in Nagpur.

(Note on Amit Mishra:  Mishra’s too are “Pundits” and no surprises here, he too bowled many a no ball – also 9 in all! Ever heard of a spinner doing that?) 

Point #2 – the “Vitamin C” angle:

5. Hashim Amla (HA) is a muslim for which we love him, just as we would another human being or a fellow Hindu BUT he had Vitamin C[ricket] gunning for him – and that was an unfair advantage for team South Africa against India. Mind you, “Amla” (the Hindustani Gooseberry) is very, very rich in Vitamin C… indeed it is. Whatever, great to see Hashim not hash it up for South Africa but more so, fight like a “Pashtoon” or “Pathan” would.

(At this stage Pakistan must be wondering why he’s not playing for them!)

6. There is also the HA and the “Proteas” angle. I am clearly referring to an Australian conspiracy to get India off the ‘No. 1 Test Team’ spot as soon as possible. You may also call it the ‘Gondwanaland Connection’ between South Africa and Australia. They used powders from the Proteas flowers to almost dope the Indians into submission. Check out more on Wikipedia.

Point #3 – the “Kolkata” angle:

7. West Bengal’s politically orchestrated weather almost did India in. It rained and was overcast at the wrong time (Day 4 in particular). Actually, there are no surprises here:  The West Bengal Government is behind even this attempt to boycott. They specially sent Jyoti Basu up very recently to organize this, all in an effort to remove even cricket from the state… what with the TATAs having shown the way out?! Let’s just call it an environment not quite conducive to cricket anymore.
8. Saurav Chandidas (Dada) Ganguly was seen at this match on Day 3 but not thereafter. Why? Think about it! Contemplate what he was doing there? He had not been seen for over a decade in the stands, amongst the public, at a game where he himself was not involved. What’s the deal? Was this a recce mission of a kind??
9. Kolkata’s Eden Garden presented a great pitch and for the first time commentators (Sunil Gavaskar & Co.) even discussed giving the Curator (Prabir Mukherjee) of the pitch the “Man of the Match Award”. You see, all this took away from the game -- the Indians lost their concentration and contemplated for far too long if that even was a possibility. In the end the curator and his workers didn’t even get “Bakshish” (a tip).

Let me note at this stage that it was a good match with many a fabulous century scored (7 in all), a good wicket, excellent umpiring (Ian James Gould) but you see -- it had other angles to it as well. Like all things in India, there’s always another way of looking at what transpired and in that very light let’s look at some of the possibilities:

I hear that India won by bribing someone towards the end of that last drink’s break. It is known to have been initiated with the following line: “Bahoot denge, bass, abh out hojao, yaar!” (We’ll give you plenty but do get out fellas!)

OR

Was it just the Indian Terminator Harbhajan Singh’s killer instincts and his great desire for another 5-wicket haul at the Eden Gardens? Did we just need another “Sardarji” (Sikh man from Punjab) to intervene and get some sense hammered into it all on Bengali soil -- all just to retain the number 1 slot in the ICC (International Cricket Council) rankings?

I say: “Bach gaye, bachoo!” (Got saved this time!).

One will never know!

Watch out for more abstract[ed], insider coverage… visit us often at BCC!

by Ajoy Eric Lal

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Cherries & Cricket!

One would really have to be an avid cricketer to know that the "Cherry" is basically another name for the red cricket ball used in test matches.

Conversely, one needn't be an avid cricketer to know that the "Cherry" also refers to the nipples placed high, low or sideways on women's breasts. Yup, you bet they come in numerous placements.


When women, cricketing or otherwise, are dissatisfied with the positioning of their cherries (most have two), they have their little operations to 'set them right.'

Take a closer look at the IPL "Cheerleaders" (a.k.a. CherryLeaders), notice their melons... notice carefully where their cherries are placed on their respective mounds... look carefully because this is what 'Fruity Cricket' or 'Extravagant & Lucious Cricket' is all about...

Cherries = Nipples = Cricket Balls ... and that closes the circle, yet again!

Howzaattt?

God bless Lalit Kumar Modi,
God bless his IPL,
God bless all the CherryLeaders!




by Ajoy Eric Lal
Cherry watchin' is as much fun as watchin' cricket... and I didn't invent that, Lalit and the media did!

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On the lighter side...

So what if Yuvraj Singh can hit six sixes of six consecutive balls in one over.
So what if Muthaiah Muralidharan can spin his magical Doosra balls for all of 60 overs during one test match day.
So what if Brian Lara could brilliantly caress the ball down to third man.
So what if V. V. S. Laxman can stylishly come down on the ball, middle it and drive it into the deep.

So what?
I can play my balls for well over 24 hours, non-stop... you bet I can!

Ups, I forgot that latter game's called 'Pocket Billiards'... What the hell, so what if it's another ball game!!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
Says that some level of perverse cricketing humour and good ball sense must prevail... it never hurt anybody, did it?

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KKR vs. !DEA

Watching the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) play the Delhi Daredevils (DD) this evening, it was sad and entertaining seeing Shah Rukh Khan's (SRK's) top batsmen make a fool of themselves yet again. Ajit Agarkar was the only saving grace. His batting ensured some entertainment, until he was out, caught in the deep, attempting to hit yet another six on the final ball of the innings.

Watching cricket can be entertaining but not necessarily so, when watching KKR. Question is, what else to do? Allow for distractions?? How about Ads???

Most entertaining is the !DEA mobile advertisement where Abhishek Bachchan, playing the part of a common man, an !DEA customer, rehearses his phone conversation with Sachin Tendulkar... and then finally receives that call from him.

Yo, Sachin, this is me... Ajoy!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
When he's watching boring cricket teams, he's thoroughly enjoying the interspersed advertisements... ZooZoos, !DEA, et all.

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The Mandira Zoo!

I think that the cute Mandira Bedi is one of the petite women in the ZooZoos that you see in the vodafone advertisements specially made for the IPL...

...insiders claim that when she's not on one of the South African cricket grounds interviewing men (Pricketers?) in her thin skirt and under her black wig, she is in one of those white, friendly, Casper like costumes, giggling away to glory!!

What's your take on this??

by Ajoy Eric Lal
When he's watching the IPL, he's forced to watch them ZooZoos too!

picture courtesy santabanta.com

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Quirky Cricket

(...or is it also superstition?!)

Too many cricketers and just one Indian team.
Umpteen religions and even more Gods.
Countless superstitions and even more astrologers.

Now, what's all that about?

When Ishant Sharma, India's lankiest fast bowler ever, comes running up towards you, then you know you've got to be up to it. When that same Ishant puts on yet another necklace/ chain/ string around his already over-laden neck, then you'd better beware. When the one and only Ishant let's yet another "Holy Kavaj" (Locket) dangle from one of those strings, then you're in trouble... real trouble -- he then has the Pundits and Gods on his side!!


I've heard that Ishant's astrologer is better than Murali Kartik's -- did you notice the latter's neck gear?! One guess: Who's on the team more often??

What's with Harbhajan Singh when he is coming in to bowl, over or around the wicket makes no difference? In pure elation he is because he spreads both his arms wide, parallel to the Earth, and attempts to fly.


I've heard that he's just trying to get a little extra height, come down from higher up, give 'The Cherry' (cricket ball) more time in the air to baffle the batsmen. A God's at play here as well, is there?

Then there is the seemingly calm Indian captain himself, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, who gets so jittery before taking his final stance that he must -- yes, each time -- go through his two, self-taught rituals: Rip the velcro on the gloves and re-stick them... and, squint hard with his eyes a few times with an intriguing grimace to go with it.

I've heard that Dhoni has no astrologer but he does believe in himself and his rituals.

Then there is...
...I'll tell you more another day!!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
Writes here for the heck of it. He is Spiritual, has a Guru and carries one string on his wrist.

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The “Baadshah of Bollywood” and I

I remember the days when we played cricket together, the “Baadshah of Bollywood” (King of Bollywood), Shah Rukh Khan and I. We were schoolmates. He was the wicket keeper and I the opening batsmen for our junior school cricket team at St. Columba’s School, New Delhi.

One thing is for sure, SRK was more dynamic and charming behind the wicket than I was.

I played the ‘slow & steady, old style knocks’ that kept one end of the wicket fortified. That was the call of the day. Dynamic, ‘fling around the bat in any style cricket’ culminating in today’s T20 format was unthinkable back then. Our coaches, Gurcharan Singh (an ex Ranji Trophy coach) and Br. Eric Steven D’Souza (a Vice Principal at our school and cricket coach, also SRK’s mentor since then) would have disapproved of the awkward and effective batting techniques as used today by Mahendra Singh Dhoni. But, regardless of what I think today, two dear friends of mine always claimed and continue to claim that my style was more like that of Anshuman Dattajirao Gaekwad (Indian test team 1975 - 1985), implying that it was slow and… ah, well, let’s not talk about it. Yes, I still am in a state of partial denial about playing slow knocks in 20-30 over games.

Whatever, we emulated long innings played by ‘The Masters’ of our day and age, eg. Sunil (Sunny) Gavaskar. Believe it or not, I had even adapted his stance, i.e. ‘fixate the right leg, lift the one on the left, circle it around and then gently let it fall into position’. Enjoy looking at any old video footage to see what I am talking about. This is, seen today, as funny and special as Sachin (The Little Master) Tendulkar’s leg bends whilst standing, just before he takes his batting position.

The reasons for the two masters so diverse movements surely were quite different. After analyzing the movement so unique to Sachin, it must be said that it originates in a crotch guard that refused to stay in place or one that tweaked his gonads a little too frequently. Sachin, being an Indian, could of course have indulged in a very Indian men’s habit: crotch scratching or repositioning in public! But, because he was being filmed and constantly scrutinized on screen, he refrained from that rather disgusting habit whenever he was out there on the pitch. Whatever, his special habit did not disappear even though cricketing equipment got better and better over the years. Now, I cannot criticize what Sunny did because I imitated him. Well, that’s how much of an influence ‘The Greats’ had on us.

At practice, I remember SRK finding my Sunny Gavaskar style left leg lift quite funny and then he would invariably have his effervescent, dimple-cheeked smile going for me. Yup, he was always very amused.

I remember SRK, possibly emulating the great wicketkeeper Syed Mujtaba Hussein Kirmani (Indian test team 1976 - 1986), being somewhat relaxed/ sluggish in nature but he used to come alive once he was behind the stumps, keeping wicket. Others will confirm that SRK also played field hockey. Regardless of the sport, most will agree that he was athletic back then. Seeing his dance steps, hip moves, pirouettes and what have you on screen today, chasing fictitious gangsters or real heroines around, one will agree – he is athletic even today. I shall not comment on his ‘6-Pack Abs’, as I have never seen or felt them.

Shah Rukh was an amicable guy, i.e. he always was in a good mood around me. We had fun on the cricket field and off of it. Being junior to me by two years at school obviously meant that we were less around each other, i.e. once we were off the cricket field. But we had common friends. One of his best friends Vivek (Khushu) Khushlani spent a whole lot more time with me in the pool back then. We were on the school swimming team together. Khushu was smaller and thinner then and is much taller and bigger now. You’ll see him often on TV with his very silver, straight hair, sitting there, right next to Shah Rukh Khan. Yup, he’s SRK’s buddy alright.

Talking of TV… I guess that it was a combination of many things that got SRK involved with the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) T20 team that play in the DLF IPL tournament. Besides friends that coaxed him into it, the prime reason is that SRK is an avid sports fan. He appreciated all forms of sport back then and does so even now. Some might ask, is this also because it is about the big money? The answer is rather straightforward: SRK has never denied that he will do what makes him happy and more successful. For a man that emerged from a modest background, he has all the rights to enjoy the proceeds and laurels of his own hard work.

Like many of us, including most mentioned in this article, even SRK’s wife Gauri Khan (maiden name ‘Chibba’) was what we, in India, call ‘convent educated’. She went to Loreto Convent in New Delhi and her love story can be read all over the world-wide-web. Nope, she did not play cricket but she did fall in love with KKR’s owner!

I mention love and I must think about my girlfriend, Kavita. Her late father Col. Bob Muthanna was in the Army with SRK’s father-in-law Captain Ramesh Chibba, both a part of the ‘1st Sikh Light Infantry’ (Battalion). Ramesh had left the Army and Bob passed away in 1989 but their wives have been in touch ever since.

Okay, jumping a bit… there’s the recent success story of “The Zoya Factor”, a book on the passion of cricket in its many dimensions, written by Anuja Chauhan. No, she is not Sunny Gavaskar’s opening batsman partner Chetandra (Chetan) Pratap Singh Chauhan’s (Indian test team 1969 - 1981) daughter but yes, she is married to Niret (Choku) Alva, co-owner of MidiTech TV, also an ex batch mate of mine and schoolmate of ours. He just about landed up being my brother-in-law back then, believe it or not? It gets better: My girlfriend’s cousin, Pria is married to Niret’s younger brother Nikhil (Niki) Alva, also known to me from my school days. Yet another connection!

Now, here’s another angle to it: The rights to film “The Zoya Factor” are now with SRK. How did these get to him? Well, Anuja knew SRK from her days managing the Pepsi account at J. Walter Thompson Advertising, where she is an Executive Creative Director and Vice-President today. SRK was then a brand ambassador for Pepsi.

Now, if you think that is it… Ha, check this out… back to the IPL:
Lalit Kumar Modi, the Chairman & Commissioner, also the “Wizard of the IPL” was not only my schoolmate, he was my class mate, too (in 11-B). We actually studied together or should I say bought our books together. Yup, we did.

Six degrees of separation, huh?!
I guess we are all related or are all known to each other in some way or the other. These are all connections indeed to the “Baadshah of Bollywood” but nothing beats first-hand memories and narratives from friends.

Besides, times might change but one’s love for cricket and each other doesn’t really ‘take a hit’ or ‘go for a six’… what a great game!!

by Ajoy Eric Lal
Went to school with Shah Rukh Khan and even played cricket with him in the early 1980s. You’ll find him seated on page 60 in the Baadshah of Bollywood’s coffee table book called “SRK” but the date there is all wrong.

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