What's so funny about Brett Lee's retirement?

Lee: I even smile in cartoons.

With Brett Lee's retirement, this Australian team can now officially call themselves starless.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

The scene when Brett Lee retired: Went down on one knee, felt his sinuses, gingerly ruffled his hair, and waited for Bhajji to pat his butt
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

Knowing Brett Lee he must have found the news of his own retirement somewhat difficult to swallow. #EmotionalKid
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

That makes the 2 of us RT @sanjaymanjrekar: Brett Lee retires..never faced him.. never met him but another cricketer who made the game...
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

Seeing as Brett Lee will only play inT20 leagues now,we beseech him to rename himself Brett Leegue#sorry
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

Brett Lee has retired. Bollywood in cricket will never be the same.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

Remember that glorious day when Freddie and Binga made a great advert for Indian styled toilets?

Lee announcing his retirement- In India, where else? 

Relax guys, it's not as if Brett Lee has retired from KKR.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012

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Happy Bored Day - Peep Lee Live

You could say that I am 7 days late for my Bored Day post. But the fact is I am 5 years early. For the 2nd Bored Day, I have already said my 2 lines, this post is coming to you from 2015. Yeah, it is one of those premonition posts, and you could stop reading right now, if you love the suspense.

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Hi, this is Brett Lee reporting Live from the 7th Bored Day held here in a local coffee shop called Bored Coffee Crazy Indians in Delhi. Peeping in to the Bored Day celebrations has long been a dream and I am glad it is coming true.

xxxxxxx

Most of the bored memebers are present here, considering they all have to report to Red Fort day after tomorrow on account of India's Independence Day. If the rumours that are trickling in are to be believed, Indian PM Rahul Gandhi will be felicitating the entire Bored team, for making cricket bearable to its masses.

It has been decided (after a handful of choicest Punjabi abuses, hurling everywhere) that the shop will not be throwing out RajaB for not bringing in his suggestions to the Bored Menu for the coffee shop.

Som has come prepared with a 7 point agenda (it reads 7 entries in Shahid Afridi's Diary on 7 Bored Days)and ABisht's in a corner cartooning on stray tissues

The two Ankits cannot be seen, but I'm sure they're lurking around.

Although Homer and Maheka are seated alongside each other, they have entered into a heated discussion on Twitter

Achettup has arrived in trousers that are short on length and is the butt of most jokes here. Most of them are from Naked Cricket, as his 'Jokes are funny, Butt...' has become a best seller in Pakistan.

Breaking News: Bored has got a new member, the youngest at that. It should be remembered that her debut game was some years away, but then she was so very young too.

Straight Point can be seen beaming in a corner. Bored is like family, after all.

xxxxxxx

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Whose Team is it Anyway?

We're well and truly into the third season of the IPL and just like the first two editions we have a team that just can't seem to win. It's official: Kings XI Punjab are the Kolkata Knightriders/Deccan Chargers of 2010. A lot of talk has revolved around captaincy and the impact players have disappointed.

Cricinfo ran a pretty cheap piece on the big disappointments of this season and it was no surprise that four of them were from Kings XI. But the most damning aspect of their presence was the amount of money they're being paid. Yuvraj Singh, Kumar Sangakkara, Mahela Jayawardene, Shantakumaran Sreesanth are making over $2.8 Million a season. You could probably add Brett Lee ($900,000) and Irfan Pathan ($925,000) to the list.

This begs the question: Who is in control of the side? Sangakkara has cut a forlorn figure everytime things haven't gone his way, Jayawardene led the side one game and it looked better but still crumbled under pressure, and it's best not to talk of Yuvraj's involvement of lack thereof.

There was, however, one man last night who seemed to believe. He is just another domestic cricketer using the IPL to make some money and maybe impress the selectors. He has captained the Indian Under-19 side in the past, shown glimpses of his ability with a couple of rousing innings, taken the gloves when his captain was banned, and retained them even with the skipper coming back. Step forward Manvinder Bisla. You made yourself visible last night by making sure you were inconspicuous. You were neat behind the stumps (That wide off Lee was unfortunate), made sure the bowlers were motivated, applauded pretty much every fielding effort, and even had the instinct to go up to Shalabh Srivastava after the over in which Sreesanth dropped a sitter, something your captain or icon player should have been doing.

It is a pity such intangibles will be lost on your franchise and the national selectors because you don't strike a gorgeous pose when you hit a cover drive or don't have the ego to make yourself visible to those fans who are looking for cheap fun. But I hope someone like Shane Warne sees what you're about. You did take the attack to him and did well until you were foxed by the great. Maybe Warney will come back to the IPL next season and want you in his side. Players like you show leadership is not about entitlement, it's all about initiative and how far you're willing to go for your team even if you don't get the glory.

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IPL Divorce.

You don’t have to keep watching your team go down like some oral sex fiend. You’ll be happier hitting on another team. There’s no way Kings XI Punjab can penetrate the semis from here – they could change their name, jerseys, team owners, sex but it’s over now.

You’d expect by the end of the first round, one, if not two teams are spent. KEP sure is. Why watch them – for a laugh yes, but here’s an opening: Let the first round count for something – let the bottom two teams be eliminated. Why? Because it’s easier than eliminating the top two teams – there is no such thing as slow bicycle race cricket yet. Oh right, there is England playing test cricket.

Imagine no more of that Lankan coterie, their gyaan, angrezi, and their 200 year old coach. No more of fat boy slim. No more of the lesser but more earnest Pathan.

From now on extend Earth hour to all Kings XI Punjab games – do not watch them, not till they take no further part in the tournament. If the team had any Punjabi pride, they’d just go back to the fields.

Imagine Brett Lee as a farmer. He will take to it like a Yuvi to saag meat. And Zinta, she can toss rotis when Yuvi returns from wherever. No one will ask him to stay indoors.

As for the IPL, it will have fewer games and more parties.

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Bored joke: what will Brett Lee say when he retires...?

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SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

[Click On The Pic To Enlarge]

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some straight points on the one day series...

the first match demonstrated very aptly that this series will be a close one... and as i said earlier the result of the match and eventually series will depend on which team shows more discipline on the field...

india ran very close to an unexpected victory... and while some may say india flattered themselves by the margin of defeat... i wonder what would have happened had the scenario been just the opposite...

one reaction would have been to hail australia for their never say die spirit and they would have gone on to say that this is why australia are a champion side coz even their no. 8 & 9 batsmen can come and contribute to the team cause...

but the more obvious reactions would have been to loathe our bowlers to allow no. 8 & 9 batsmen to score the way bhajji and praveen kumar scored against them... so much for in the name of 'in-depth analysis'...

having said that i think some minor tweaking will do us no harm... i would always prefer sehwag or for that matter gambhir over specialist slipper in sachin with his heavily bandaged forefinger... his natural reaction seems to protect that finger first and thats why his reactions are slow to the catches coming in... and this is also the reason he is not placing his body behind the ball in case the catch comes on the bounce...

any captain who allows nehra to field at long off or long on should seriously think about the man management on the field... and praveen should be told to curb his itch to experiment if he lands couple of balls in the good cordon... and for god sake no short ball... the guy just doesn't have the pace to surprise batsmen... and more over when you can swing both ways by bowling up why ruin the over with a mandatory itch to 'experiment' with length in the name of variations...?

the win has come at a cost to australia... while we will be near full strength tomorrow ozies will be missing lee and mitchell... but somewhere a fan in me wants australia to be beaten with full strength so there is no scope of ifs and buts left in anybodies mind...

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Cosmic connection with Brett Lee.

Yesterday was a waste of a final. Not so much because T&T lost, but because Lee and Bored frequent the same fortune telling parrot. While we waited our turn, parrot squawked to Lee how the finals would unfold.

So in way, we saw it coming. Every NSW wicket brought us closer to the inevitable Binga innings.

BoredCricket On twitter: two more wickets and we can watch Lee bat. #clt20 about 17 hours ago from TweetDeck

And then again: One more wicket, Lee is in #clt20

Asked for it, got it. Knock them off. Bring on Lee #clt20

Even if NSW get 120, could be down to Lee.'s bowling #clt20

Lee's gonna be a hand full bowling #clt20

Clearly Brett Lee wants to open the innings with Mitchell Johnson #clt20

Early Bored Call: On Lee, match result before Lee's innings and outing #clt20

Now there are two ways to go about it: Follow Lee or follow BoredCricket.

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Sickening

Swann scalped five, and I was unfortunate enough to watch him turn it up like he’d won five. At six nil, is it wrong to expect muted celebrations?

It was downright disturbing: not as much to see Brett Lee bowled but Swann’s reaction; for heaven’s sake man, that was Lee not Lincoln that you cleaned out.

Worse, that Johnson fellow had just been Swanned in the same over. If it’s any consolation Swann did not make the winning runs. He did however win the Man of the Match, which thankfully I refused to see. Had I, I would have been see-sick again, you know what I mean.

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93.3 mph

Brett Lee makes a case for a nutcase sport called one-day international cricket.

No way I was going to watch it all, but Lee’s overs I’d booked. Lucky to walk in on him prising Luke Wright out, the edge was faint, the batsmen were faint of heart.

The speeds were what you call speed – 90 mph plus, 150 kmph. And the trademark Lee air-punch, shove that clenched fist downwards, repeat; they need a soundtrack for that baby. Brett’s band should play.

There was Rock ‘n’ Roll in a one-dayer after a long time. The short of length bazookas at 93 mph were fierce enough to press an alert batsman’s fear buttons, and thrill the most languid of cricket watchers.

There was a shorter one that zipped past Bresnan’s benign head – nobody was expected to score, survival would suffice.

Endgame:

46.1: England 210/9, Lee in to Collingwood @56.

Brett unleashes the fireball yorker @93.3mph.

Sometimes it’s a pleasure to be knocked over, that was one such ball.

Move over Mitchell Johnson, that blonde kid who refuses to age is back.

Boom Boom Brett Lee!

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You know, it could have been a much better Ashes if...

If Flintoff was 10% fit

If Brett Lee was 10% worthy

If Symonds was 10% sober

If Ramprakash made a guest appearance

If Bell made a disappearance

If KP wasn’t Achilles

If Ricky wasn’t Ponting

If Langer and his dossier opened the innings

If Hayden and his kitchen sink opened too

If Darren Gough opened the bowling

If Trott was always in the middle

If India played the winners at the Oval

If I was there

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Had Paris Hilton been a cricketer

Well, had she been a cricketer, one thing is certain. Shane Warne would not have been available to comment on men's cricket. Neither would be Ravi Shastri.

While men's cricket can heave a sigh of relief that she is not, I could not leave it there.

I applied my mind to the subject and have no qualms in admitting that I was nearly conned into believing that she would have been a spinner in that case.

Mind you, she shares a strong trait with Ajantha Mendis. Both cannot be classified, at least in the conventional terms.

Socialite-heiress-model-singer-actress-author-fashion designer...you name it and she is.

It would suffice to say that she is famous for being famous.

But had she been a cricketer, I don't see her being anything other than a pace bowler.

Well, giggles can be put on hold till I present my case.

As far as modesty is concerned, even her staunchest critic would admit, she has overstepped the line with amazing regularity. Much like a pacer out of his rhythm.

Mind you, a similar no-ball problem nearly cost Brett Lee his place in the Ashes side.

But what really convinced me of Paris Hilton's possibility of being a pacer is her brief flirtation with Portuguese 'winker' Cristiano Ronaldo.

Shammi Kapoor had 'An Evening in Paris'. Ronaldo had one full night. And the British tabloid industry simply lost the rag, lamenting how the then Man U star was letting Hilton lick his face.

And she was licking again, this time wounds, when the unscrupulous footballer found greener pastures elsewhere and dumped her.

Even though I'm rather uneasy discussing something as greasy as licking, nothing should stand in the way of objectivity.

Applying saliva on something may not sound an impressive idea but the fact remains it's an universal practice among the pacers' community to shine the cherry.

Let's give her the due, Paris Hilton, in spirit, is as much a pacer as Zaheer Khan is.

Of late, she also had allegations leveled against her that she swings both ways.

No mean achievement that is, from cricketing point of view. Bowling coaches across the cricketing spectrum – from Venky Prasad to Troy Colley – will tell you how difficult it has been to teach their wards.

Pity Paris Hilton is not a cricketer.

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mithchell johnson's woes: one could see it coming

as early as march 2009 during south africa's tour of australia...we at BCC! observed that it won't take johnson long to turn turtle the way he is taking the load...much like brett lee...

this is what we noted then...

he has bowled nearly 450 overs in his last 9 tests...club that with the time spent while batting...and you can imagine the herculean effort he puts in for australia match after match...innings after innings...

but till when?

we have already seen what happened to brett lee...he succumbed to the relentless workload of carrying the attack after the retirements of stalwarts like warne and macgrath...

...and it won't be long before johnson too will burn out that last ounce of energy left in him...

the scenario can't be ruled out when it will be time for fully fit brett lee raring to go at opponents...johnson will be cooling his heels in a quiet rehabilitation room...

this explains...?

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Debutant dismisses retirement talk

By Naked Cricket

What do you expect? Ask Pujara on debut about retirement, what will he say? - No plans to retire yet. What will they write? - Pujara dismisses retirement talk.

Appears Brett Lee has dismissed such talk with an apt ‘another 4-5 years more left in me’ statement. You’d think that was Sachin speaking.

Granted, it’s been a quiet week, but little Lee only became a test regular a few days back.

Somewhere in-between McGrath retired and then Lee became the spearhead. Lee learnt how to sing spearhead. Namaste India, Main hoon, Main hoon spearhead! Smiles followed by rustling of some player’s hair.

Lee had a rough run at home, and then again in India, also home.

And now the South Africans are starting to feel at home. Working on Ricky’s retirement talk, no doubt.

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Who's SloMo?

In the outfield, Brett Lee on a drip
Is much faster than Saurav can let rip.

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Bored to the Bone 19 (Kotla)

Gambhir clocks a double. A beaming Brett Lee ruffles his hair. Mind you, no beamers so far.

Update: Laxman clocks a double. A beaming Brett Lee pats his shoulder.

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