Play It Again Sam : 2 - Benchion Not

A (fairly) new series on Player-Commentators

Play 2
Sometime in the future. Arun Lal, Harsha Bhogle and Zaheer Khan in the commentary box

HB : So Zaheer you reckon there's anything for the seamers here ?
No reply from Zaheer
Wicket falls

AL (excited) : Peach ! How good was that ! You must be impressed ,er, Zaheer ... ?
No reply from Zaheer. In fact ZAK has been quiet the entire time.
AL (uneasy little laugh) : Er Zaheer , I say , you haven't been , er , haha , injured , haha... ?

And ZAK nods !

AL(despairing): " Oh my goodness ,it's a mouth injury this time is it...(Agitated) but I..but I .can't understand it !"
HB ( bright , cheerful and pleasant self) : " Oh dear injured again but not to worry. Luckily for us we have a very talented reserve. Yes (smiles) step forward please won't you Manoj ?

Manoj Tiwari makes to move BUT..Suddenly ZAK starts speaking

ZAK : " Oh yes , definitely something in here for the bowlers ... "
HB (beaming) : " Ah Manoj , so we won't trouble you just yet now. But thanks so much, off you go to that bench of yours ,run along now ! Oh good lad ! "

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Manoj Tiwary: Adding to India’s bench strength.

Forget Day and Night Test cricket, if ever there’s Bench Cricket, Manoj Tiwary will be its patron saint. Yesterday though, he played against England, not for India of course, but for India A. Till yesterday, Manoj did not feature in the No. 6 debate.

Then he went and scored 93. Appears Manoj is now alert to the needs of India’s selectors. A one-day hundred did not cut it for him, so he stopped 7 shy this time.

Imagine being Manoj Tiwary and staying sane at the same time. He says he watches inspirational videos. I say he should just watch himself on the bench. That for me is something, really is – the man looks composed, a lot less fidgety than many of his mates do, on the field and on the bench.

But you will be told, and you will be told, repeatedly – Rohit Sharma has talent, Suresh Raina trains to finish the game and Yuvraj Singh is back.

For now, Rohit is a T20 special, who blocks that slot regardless of runs. One innings blocks it for many more, he did score a 50 in the ICC world T20, didn’t he? And via that route, Rohit elbows his way into the one day side.

His lack of scores are a mystery, demanding he return to the one day side, and continue to not score on merit and confound this mystery.

If anything, the selectors and team management are screwing Rohit over. If they had let him go, either before or after that wretched Lanka ODI series, that nauseating feeling of a wrong entitlement would not have continued to hound him.

You always gotta pay more for excess baggage.

 Instead, Rohit returns, much like a Batman sequel, plot-less. His mind and feet are crying out to be released – to return to first class cricket. By now we owe a first class tourney to be renamed after India’s and yes, Mumbai’s most illustrious future cricketing son – call it the Sachin Tendulkar says Rohit will be the next Sachin Tournament. Anything less will be not worthy.

Then there is Suresh Raina. Everywhere I go, Raina tells me that he trains to finish the game. That must be IPL games, and the occasional T20 and one day game for India. I do not recall Raina finishing, leave alone starting a Test (game) for India. But that is Adidas’ clout on those billboards, they even chased me in Goa.

Raina is the India A skipper, yet again via the IPL, T20, and to a lesser extent the one day route. So much entitlement, so many soundbytes – Raina will tell you why he wants to play against England, to give back some of the pain – to whom, to us fans? 

"Well of course"

And Yuvraj Singh. I think they rushed him back for the World T20. But Yuvraj in spite of his lack of Test success is now more than ever before, a force of nature, one that appears to defy nature. That doesn’t make sense maybe, just like rushing him back to the team may not. But Yuvi returned, batted, bowled, fielded – and Indian cricket desperately needed a story, its champions are either retired or withered, shielding against allegations far more than the cricket ball.

And what is Manoj Tiwary in front of all these supermen – he has no story. He just sits on the bench, match after match after match. If he had one, does anyone know, or care to know of it?

He was picked to debut against Bangladesh years’ ago, but an injury on match eve ruled him out. That wasn’t long before Rohit or Raina’s time.

Manoj does bowl though, leg spin. Chances are, if India ever picks him again, it could be for his bowling. Because nobody seems to have seen him bat.

As I write, Yuvi has knocked over KP and Bell. Enter India’s third spinner for the first Test.

If you give a sh*t about Manoj Tiwary, pls do LIKE the Facebook page - Bencho! It's Manoj Tiwary 

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Manoj Tiwary swears never to score a hundred again.

Manoj Tiwary scored a one-day hundred in the last match he played for India. He was retired hurt that day. Since then he’s been hurt match after match, overlooked for players who are the future of India.

Tiwary’s last match was on December 11^th in some other year. He top scored, was man of the match, retired hurt – how much must a man do to play another game?

Since that Chepauk game India have travelled – from Melbourne to Perth to Adelaide to Brisbane to Sydney to Hobart to India to Dhaka, for some reason, Tiwary too has travelled with them.

India have played 11 ODIs from 5^th Feb to 18^th March, rotated three seniors, not made either finals, piggybacked on one batsman, but not found a slot for Tiwary.

Tiwary has possibly seen more action on twitter. His tweets have been sane, restrained, considerate, informed. He’s been accurate with his travel co-ordinates.

What else can Tiwary do?  A lesser man would have cracked. Is that what is expected of players who are not part of India’s Future Star Program?

So when Tiwary gets another game he just doesn’t care – or still worse, he cares too much. Put yourself in Tiwary’s place – you haven’t seen a game for months, and then they throw a morsel your way and expect you to feast on it.

Deep down you know, they don’t want you, they want that other guy who will score 99 100s to break the record – He said so himself.

And yeah, Tiwary was born on Children’s Day. How else do you treat him?


Also see: A case for an Indian cricketer who's not Raina or Rohit

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A case for an Indian cricketer who's not Raina or Rohit - but Che Pujara.

This video was shot on Che Pujara's birthday, 25th January, 2012, but much like Che, it was forgotten for a while.  

Notes: 
Raina's First Class average 43 (71 matches), Rohit's 63 (46 mat), Kohli 50 (38 mat), Manoj Tiwary 61 (54 mat), Che Pujara 53 (61 mat); all players 23-26 years. 

FC averages of Rohit and Tiwary are quite similar. Who's played how many ODIs?

Raina has played 143 ODIs, 15 Tests, intl. debut in 2005.  Avg. 34.3, 29.5     7500 fb likes
Rohit has played 77 ODIs, 0 Tests, intl. debut in 2007.      Avg. 33.1   -           2900 fb likes
Kohli has played 82 ODIs, 8 Tests, intl. debut in 2008.     Avg. 47.5, 32.7      18,500 fb likes
Tiwary has played 6 ODIs, 0 Tests, intl debut in  2008.   Avg. 33   -                753 fb likes
Che Pujara 0 ODIs, 3 Tests, intl. debut in 2010.               -         21.4             488 fb likes   


Rohit 77 ODIs to Tiwary's 6, again similar averages.

The marketing of Che has started in earnest, WSG (World Sports Group) who tango with Tendulkar and Gambhir, have signed him up. I won't be too surprised if he makes the Asia Cup squad. Who knows, Manoj Tiwary may even get a game. And another concert for Bangladesh with George Harrison.
*cricinfo profile pages

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Watch Richard Levi's fastest T20 100 (beyond IPL boundaries)

Before MSD's one match suspension, South Africa's Richard Levi suspended disbelief - 100 of nothing (45 balls), 117* of 51, 13 sixes (the most in a T20 innings, wait, isn't that slower than the fastest ODI 100??*) and an IPL contract. Richard Levi will be signed on by the Chennai Super Kings or the Mumbai Indians (or England) or whoever bids more in the tie breaker after both their bids collide at $2 million. Lalit Modi will tweet about how it was fixed and they had already spent their allotted sum on other players in the previous auction, but don't believe everything he tweets or you see on TV.

 @baijunair02 tweeted " Sahara says they want Richard Levi in place of Yuvraj for Pune Warriors or they will pullout again... "

*Yeah it is. The fastest ODI 100 is by a T20 player, Afridi, of 37 deliveries. The 2nd fastest is by a D/L-phobic player, Boucher, of 44 balls. Ha! the 3rd fastest is by one obscure, BC Lara of 45 balls. So take that T20, ODI's just did you in. The 4th fastest is once again by Afridi, again of 45 balls.

Thanks to Alternative Cricket for the video

Some @BoredCricket tweets from the India vs Aus ODI, 19th Feb, 2011

3rd umpire ki aankh nahin, button hai
Much like some cockroaches, Michael Hussey will survive a nuclear holocaust.
That takes care of MSD's post-match conference - "You can't drop so many catches and afford to win matches..."

India for Hussey Ad slogan: Make it Largesse
Why not just keep the drinks' boy on the field. He's doing way to much running going on and off the field every 2 mts.
 Hussey Dismissed: Surely an appeal to the UN, American Peace Keeping Forces, and Sanctions on India must be underway

Vinay Kumar can be so soft spoken with his bowling.
After this over, the groundmen will be called to collect pieces of Vinay Kumar, scattered across the ground

At innings' close - Bonus point for Australia #EarlyBoredCall.
A very tough one: what do you call a poor man's Vinay Kumar?
 Going by rotation (and injuries) for the next ODI, Sehwag, Sachin and Gambhir will all be rested.
Australia vs REST of India.

Replay: For Parthiv Patel to play a game, triple rotation will have to kick in: Rest an opener, rest wicketkeeper, rest captain
India has regained Test-status-form.

Politically correct tweets on Sachin's predicament doing the rounds
OK, enough, @tiwarymanoj kindly pad up for the next game, and the one after that.

Elsewhere some guy called Richard Levi has scored the fastestT20100 off 45 balls. India has 29/3 of 54.
There are hit the deck bowlers but these Aussies are more like hit-the-Indians bowlers.

The selectors didn't do VVS Laxman any favors, they just saved Rohit Sharma's career by not playing him in the Tests down under.
Taking their cue from Mumbai Indians and Pune Warriors, BCCI requests for 5 foreigners to be allowed in the Indian playing eleven.

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