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If Ashwin was a royal, he'd never name his next in kin Ashwin II. (Ashwin was run-out again)
Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twitter. Show all posts
When England was Pakistan and Jadeja was Kumble. (And Chennai was Delhi)
It’s not rocket science, it’s not even Class VII science, it’s just instinct. Instinct as basic as what made Sharon Stone’s character uncross her legs in that interrogation scene in the 1992 film. Yeah, Basic Instinct.
Seven years later, India beat Pakistan in Delhi. Anil Kumble took all ten wickets. That match was furthest from my mind as I watched Virat Kohli delay a declaration for a personal milestone. Karun Nair reached his triple, England survived a handful of overs, the match seemed set to drag to a dreary draw.
Day Five started with Kohli bowling Ashwin and Ishant Sharma. And next, Ashwin and Umesh Yadav. It took Kohli more than an hour to get his first innings’ most successful bowler, Ravindra Jadeja, in. Was it down to a plan with coach, Kumble? Was it down to instinct?
That Jadeja’s first delivery led to a huge appeal further made me question Kohli’s decision. Nearly 15 overs later, England had crossed 100 without a wicket, Jadeja still bowling.
For a while now I was buzzing with a distant memory from that Delhi Test. Pakistan in its pursuit of 420 runs, was also 100 for no loss. With England 100/0, a strange optimism swept over me, their fall was just around the corner. For me, England was Pakistan, Chennai was Delhi and Jadeja was Kumble.
Could it be? I was looking for a positive in what seemed like a pretty indifferent situation. 3-0 up in the series, was Virat going with Umesh and Ishant also part of his well-informed, overactive gut even though it seemed to go against conventional wisdom.
That day, Pakistan lost their first wicket for 101. Today, England lost their first wicket for 103. At 12:32, I tweeted:
Strange one but been thinking of the Kumble 10 wicket Test, Pakistan lost their first wicket at 101. Next 9 for 106 runs. Eng 103/1#IndvsEng— Gaurav Sethi (@BoredCricket) December 20, 2016
When England’s second wicket fell at 110, I discovered sifting through Pakistan’s 1999 scorecard that they too were 110 for 2. The third and fourth wickets didn’t tally so I gave up on that beast for a while.
Anyway, Jadeja had got the first three wickets, what was I on to here? And even though he didn’t take the fourth, I consoled myself with his catch off Ishant, “really, that was his wicket more than Ishant’s”. In my book, Jadeja had all four, and a ten-for like Kumble was still on.
The Jadeja-Kumble comparison fizzled fast, the wicket comparisons emerged again when England lost its 7th wicket at 196. And I discovered that both England and Pakistan were 196/7.
Both teams progressed to be locked at 9/207 and then 10/207. A little over hundred runs ago, a match from over 16 years back came to me just like that. That day too, the openers, Shahid Afridi and Saeed Anwar were the top scorers. That day too, one made a half century, the other fell short in the forties.Pakistan too was 197/7#IndvsEng— Gaurav Sethi (@BoredCricket) December 20, 2016
As we sat and criticized Kohli for sticking with Ishant and Umesh in the first hour, delaying Jadeja’s entrance, little did we know how all this would unfold? What did Kohli know? What did he believe in? What were those instincts honed on?
Was it relying on gut that kept him from overdoing one bowler, for sticking it with the quicks initially, for giving Amit Mishra an extended run, when all on air thought otherwise.
Ravi Shastri even said, “If he doesn’t take a wicket off this ball, Kohli should change him”. That ball went for four, so you can imagine Shastri’s reaction. Kohli however persisted with Mishra. And then out of nowhere, Mishra, the butt of all jokes on air, in his 11th over (seventh in the spell) bowled his first googly in the innings that went right through Liam Dawson.
What about Kohli deciding to go with the new ball after 80 overs – throwing it to Umesh yet again. Umesh knocked over Adil Rasheed within seconds of taking the new ball.
In spite of the drops, close calls, defensive fields early on, Kohli’s team wrapped the match well before time. Deep down they knew they had England’s number. Even better, they figured that England knew they were already done.
It’s so much easier when you hunt a prey that can only run within the confines of your mindscape. You can just sit back and toss the ball to whoever you want, it’s already been written. Like it was that day in 1999. Like it will be, one day, not too far in the future.
First published here
First published here
Before Tendulkar tweeted to British Airways
Much as Sachin Tendulkar has been a cricketing master, the handling of his non-cricketing affairs has been masterful - excuse the comparison, but it has been a study in contrast in every way to the way Vinod Kambli handled them. In the years following Sachin's retirement from cricket, his aura is very much intact, and being carefully embellished; meet "Sachin The Traveller" on his Facebook page. Few cricketers do a selfie with the family better, or for that matter, selfie with us folk better. But it was "Sachin The Traveller" that made me aware of Musafir.com first; he's their brand ambassador, and a Google search for a Dubai visa led me to their website. Whyever not? Sachin endorses them; so I am happy to go with them too.
The visas arrived and my wife and I were at the airport on October 4. At the Indigo Airways' counter, my papers were processed but my wife's were not. There was a small snag - her passport number on the Dubai visa did not match with the number in the passport. What next? It was up to Musafir.com and I was informed by the airline representatives that a fresh visa, as it arrives from Dubai, could take time - maybe a flight for the following day should be scheduled. It was 3pm then, and our flight left in little over two hours, at 5.05pm. SOS - called up Musafir.com. Hold on. Listen to SRT say "Ghoom Musafir Ghoom" repeatedly, quite annoying on a loop. It was a Sunday. Appears Musafir.com was understaffed. After speaking to someone I was on hold again. From 3pm, it was nearly 3.25pm. I had no answers, and neither did my travel agents.
More calls. More holding on. More jingles. I was informed that they would have updates only by 4pm. I didn't expect much. Then it struck me, why not tweet to Sachin Tendulkar - he'd definitely have his handlers on his account 24X7, they're bound to see my tweet, and if anything, get across to Musafir.com faster than me at any rate. At 3.50pm my first tweet to @sachin_rt
Dear Sachin @sachin_rt , did our UAE Visas with http://t.co/41ULglXd1V becoz of you. They got my wife's passport number wrong on the Visa.
— Gaurav Sethi (@BoredCricket) October 4, 2015
At 3.53pm, my second tweet to @sachin_rt
Dear @sachin_rt also they kept me on hold for 10 mts, then a person put me on hold for 10 mts, but no solution. Flight leaves at 5:05 pm
— Gaurav Sethi (@BoredCricket) October 4, 2015
At 3.56pm, my third tweet to @sachin_rt
@sachin_rt so seeing as you are http://t.co/41ULglXd1V 's brand ambassador, and urged me to Ghoom Musafir Ghoom, wadaya suggest now
— Gaurav Sethi (@BoredCricket) October 4, 2015
It was a few minutes past 4pm. No call received. I decided to brave it, and listen to that "Ghoom Musafir Ghoom" jingle on a loop again. By now they were aware of my case but would only know in 15 minutes. The line got disconnected.
Meanwhile the flight was about to be closed in a few minutes. The counters were closed except for one staffer who had been both quite sane and supportive.
Then my phone rang. They were going to email me the corrected Dubai visa; it would take 15 minutes - couldn't it be done any faster? The flight's closing, man. Need it now. OK, sending. Sent! The visa arrived on my phone. They reopened the flight. We made the flight, we made it to Dubai.
Don't know how far it's true, but both my wife and I believe the tweets to @sachin_rt pulled it off. It was a slow day at the travel agent's; and everyone we spoke to, be it at the airlines or in Dubai, advised us to book for the next day but before that, make the agents confirm a visa for then. Two days after our flight, this tweet came in:
@BoredCricket we sincerely regret the inconvenience caused. Hope our experts have been able to assist you.
— musafir.com (@musafirdotcom) October 6, 2015
By now, everyone on Twitter has seen Sachin's tweets to British Airways. If you're in the minority, here goes:
Angry Disappointed and Frustrated.. #BAdserviceBA Family member's Waitlisted ticket not confirmed despite seats being available (1/2)
— sachin tendulkar (@sachin_rt) November 13, 2015
And luggage being tagged by @British_Airways to wrong destination and don't care attitude! #NeveronBA (2/2)
— sachin tendulkar (@sachin_rt) November 13, 2015
If that wasn't bad enough, BA asked SRT for his full name. British Airways is the top Indian trend, and being collectively flogged by every Indian who knows how to abuse in 140 characters.
Anyway Sachin, hope things work out for you, as they did for me. And next time, please don't hesitate to tweet to me. I think I owe you one, pal.
First published here
First published here
Wanted: DRS for online piracy
Original ideas were killed in making this post
To eke out a few Likes on Facebook, some thugs will pass off your updates as their own. If they could, they'd pass off your selfies as their own. Not surprising then, that a bunch of FB cricket pages (with hundreds of thousands of followers) do this day in and day out, post after post. Do they hire a bunch of underage kids, lock them up in a sweatshop and make them pry through trending topics - "oh wow! #IndvsPak, #ViratKohli, 231 Likes, 159 shares, Troll sir very happy when he sees this". Ace photoshoppist @NotDavidWarner nails it - "Facebook? Don't even bother trying to police. At least 20 crappy meme sites exist, and they have no talent other than stealing content, just make your watermark bigger than theirs, if that's possible."
To eke out a few Likes on Facebook, some thugs will pass off your updates as their own. If they could, they'd pass off your selfies as their own. Not surprising then, that a bunch of FB cricket pages (with hundreds of thousands of followers) do this day in and day out, post after post. Do they hire a bunch of underage kids, lock them up in a sweatshop and make them pry through trending topics - "oh wow! #IndvsPak, #ViratKohli, 231 Likes, 159 shares, Troll sir very happy when he sees this". Ace photoshoppist @NotDavidWarner nails it - "Facebook? Don't even bother trying to police. At least 20 crappy meme sites exist, and they have no talent other than stealing content, just make your watermark bigger than theirs, if that's possible."
Have your say. You can comment here.A
message from @TheGoanPatiala informed me that my Shikhar Dhawan cartoon
was doing the rounds on Whatsapp - only it came with a massive Troll
Cricket logo, and if that wasn't enough, it had a TM too. My signature
and credits had been removed. I first posted this Dhawan cartoon on
December 31st, 2013, with the World Cup and Dhawan's form on the up it
called for a twist. I posted it on 10th March, 2015 again, within an
hour and a half it had been reposted by Troll Cricket. Their brazen
branding and Trademarking of my work, made me mad. I was determined to
show them for what they were - next, I fully expect them to pass this
piece as their own.
 | |||
| Photoshop by @Aanchal |
My first such experience was when a Kohli-Dhoni cartoon appeared on a
cricket website without my consent. I mailed the site but they only paid
up when I shared the screenshot with them. Next @hashtagcricket alerted
me - my old Baba Ramdev cartoon had resurfaced on a hardcore commercial
website (with close to a million followers). There was both an apology
and a willingness to take the cartoon down. Having spoken to cartoonist,
Satish Acharya, about this, I was in no mood for their nonsense; this
is what I told them - "My cartoonist friends and I have faced this
problem way too often - we have arrived at only one conclusion that
those using content without permission should pay for it. I'd appreciate
if you could please pay me Rs XXXX- for using my cartoon on your
website." Once again the screenshots helped in a prompt payment. Here's
@NotDavidWarner on some of his forgettable experiences -
 | |||
| Photoshop by @notdavidwarner |
"Cricket Australia was flying Fawad Ahmed to the UK at
the start of an Ashes' series to sure up their spin bowling ranks. By
chance I created a #boxoffice film poster called "Saving Private Lyon"
with the relevant characters Photoshopped into the relevant places. It
was brilliant, but I had never warmed up to watermarks. Twitter was
abuzz, unfortunately it buzzed when THE Michael Vaughan tweeted my
image, sans watermark, sans credit, and being the first humorous cricket
related Ps image to hit Twitter - it was a success. I was bitter as
f***. I vowed never to leave a watermark off an image ever again -
unfortunately my design sense still forces me to try and hide it in the
graphic, unlike our friends at Troll Cricket who will slap an ugly logo
across the protagonist's face just so that people think they created the
image. Haha, as if. They are as untalented as they are unethical, and
luckily they have slowed down in stealing my stuff since I called them
out on Twitter.
Some
of the bigger Twitter heists I have suffered/ can remember with names
that I can think of?@MichaelVaughan (via @nickobrady26) popping my
stolen image cherry (142 RT)@warwicktodd_not Enjoying the fruits of my
Channel 9 pitch map meme, even giving credit to some half-arsed FB site
who stole it from me, all the while my watermark stuck out like a white
guy at an NWA concert. (309 RT)@SriniMama16 wanted a piece of the
Phillip Hughes pie. Everyone else was mourning, he was stealing. (1.3K
RT)Plenty more I can't be bothered to count, most recently AB de
Villiers 'fastest 100 race' with Usain Bolt. (TooMany RT) - thank god
Harbhajan Singh RT'd the real tweet, restored some faith. @HahaCricket
serial offender. Worst of the worst. An ex-employee of theirs recently
apologised to me on Twitter for their constant plagiarism."
 | ||
| Photoshop by @notdavidwarner |
"My sportskeeda article was Anu Maliked by someone. I
immediately complained to the editor and they were quick to warn the
pirate" - @TheGoanPatiala " It's been happening to my cartoons also.
Want to take legal action, but don't have enough time to chase lawyers
and all. May be you should consult a lawyer friend." - @SatishAcharya Editorial Cartoonist.
Satish, I really would have liked to consult my lawyer friend @IslandExpress, but he's honeymooning in Vietnam.
I'm on Twitter, watching the tweets roll by, it's 12:25 AM,
still high tide. @saeedsherazi tweets an image to @karachikhatmal in the
hope of a Retweet, what else - it's a hilarious image, even funnier
when you consider the text that goes with it. It's been lifted word for
word. I can't help myself. I tweet - The image belongs to
@notdavidwarner
This is a collaborative post. Please do comment if we
missed a mention; if you want to expose an online thug, tweet to us
@BoredCricket and @notdavidwarner
First published in daily O
First published in daily O
India vs England in tweets
Why not show highights of rain delays from earlier games? #ct13 #IndvsEng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
Since it's been touted as India's Batting vs England's Bowling, all we really need is one innings to be played. #ct13 #indvseng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
The covers at Edgbaston take even more time to come off than those on Poonam Pandey's #engvsind #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
Shane Warne sounds like he's on heat - wants to score far more urgently than the Indians #ct13 #indvseng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
The Real ICC Champions Trophy Finals (Exclusive pic) #ct13 #IndvsEng pic.twitter.com/xsq8QL9Ef4
— Sujan Rao (@sujanrao) June 23, 2013
Good lord! This match looks like its buffering. Grrr. #IndvsEng
— Neeti Palta (@neetipalta) June 23, 2013
Seeing as Shikhar Dhawan nearly had a 2 year break between one dayers, what are these 10-15 minute rain delays for him? #ct13 #indvseng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
5th time this #ct13 that Rohit Sharma's has been the 1st wicket #indvseng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
Ravi Bopara is having the game of his life. Zindagi Na Milegi Bopara #INDvENG #CT13
— Cricket Gandu (@CricketGandu) June 23, 2013
Ashwin going for the second - whichever end he was headed to was the danger end #indvsng #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
No third umpire in his right mind can defy MS Dhoni and Sir Jadeja #ct13 #engvsind
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
I can see Ian Bell approaching the Indian dressing room along with a photograph of Andy Flower #ct13 #IndvsEng
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
I think India should play England in the Ashes now. Their prep is good. #indvseng #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 23, 2013
Lagaan song playing. Full stadium singing. Full circle.
— Prithi (@prithinarayanan) June 23, 2013
India vs Sri Lanka in tweets
Can India make it 3 in 3 vs Sri Lanka in Champions Trophy - played 3, abandoned 3. #ct13 #indvssl
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Hindi spoken English "@pavilionopinion: Kusal breakthrough for India. #ct13"
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Ha "@sujanrao: #Dilshanatyam pic.twitter.com/BSF93hkX9r"
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Dhoni could bowl a few here, there's Dinesh Karthik to keep. Naturally Raina will move to mid off. #ct13 #indvssl
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
2 maidens in the batting power play. Why bother going to heaven for those extra virgins #indvssl #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
I think Dinesh Kartik too should have a bowl - so we can settle once and for all who's the better Keeper Batsman Bowler #Dhoni #indvssl
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Who knows maybe Dhoni could even bat in #CT13 #indvssl
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Kula and Thisara to come. India should look to not take a wicket. And review it if the umpire gives one of these two out.
— Nitin Sundar (@knittins) June 20, 2013
Mathews bats, Mathews bowls, Mathews drops a catch, my, how some captains like to hog the limelight #indvssl #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
For the 4th time this #ct13, Rohit Sharma's has been the 1st Indian wicket #consistent #indvssl
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
Dilshan image from hereCardiff is so much like Chennai today: the Sri Lankans haven't been allowed to play #indvssl #ct13
— Bored Cricket (@BoredCricket) June 20, 2013
What's so funny about Brett Lee's retirement?
 |
| Lee: I even smile in cartoons. |
With Brett Lee's retirement, this Australian team can now officially call themselves starless.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
The scene when Brett Lee retired: Went down on one knee, felt his sinuses, gingerly ruffled his hair, and waited for Bhajji to pat his butt
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
Knowing Brett Lee he must have found the news of his own retirement somewhat difficult to swallow. #EmotionalKid
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
That makes the 2 of us RT @sanjaymanjrekar: Brett Lee retires..never faced him.. never met him but another cricketer who made the game...
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
Seeing as Brett Lee will only play inT20 leagues now,we beseech him to rename himself Brett Leegue#sorry
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
Brett Lee has retired. Bollywood in cricket will never be the same.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
 | |
| Remember that glorious day when Freddie and Binga made a great advert for Indian styled toilets? |
 | |||
| Lee announcing his retirement- In India, where else? |
Relax guys, it's not as if Brett Lee has retired from KKR.
— BCC! (@BoredCricket) July 13, 2012
Bored side of the Mumbai Indians-Chennai Super Kings game (in tweets)
It's a T20 game, tweets should sum it up (No cricketers were hurt during these tweets)
Murali Vijay's job is to bat through IPL 5.
At this rate, by the end of today's game, Ojha's gonna be wearing a funny coloured cap.
Won't be surprised if mid innings Srini arranges for some MI player transfusions into CSK.
CSK introduces money-back scheme from Ravi Jadeja.
By the end of this innings, Jadeja may have to start paying CSK to play for them
Post match Levi - Sachin said to me...
Captaincy took 25 kgs off me - Sachin (after the 6 thru the covers)
Think of the filthiest swear words you know. Richard Levi is using them on the CSK bowling
Brace yourself for the most stinking puns on Levi tomorrow morning
If Bollinger isn't expecting, then why does he look like he's eating for two?
Reactive captaincy would be: MSD making Ashwin captain now
This Nohit Sharma innings was a little longer than his stint in England - get hurt, get out
At this rate, very soon they're gonna ask Anjali Tendulkar - what were you and Sachin talking about in the middle
Bollinger reprimanded by Rajiv Shukla for injuring Sachin. Put on notice.
CSK players carry their Indian form into IPL game
The team that has the least players in the Indian squad should win IPL
We bleed for Sachin's finger
DAMN! Another game where Manoj Tiwary didn't get to play
Congrats Nita Bhabi soooooooo happy for you
Sachin unable to shake hands (becoz of injured finger), so CSK players dip their hands in his icepack and go touchy
Follow us on Twitter @BoredCricket
And if you haven't had enough, here are some more from that dreadful Opening Ceremony:
Gambhir - they could have finished the opening ceremony earlier
The cynics will always say - "Oh, you gotta see how the Chinese do the IPL Opening Ceremony!"
Sehwag - the opening ceremony is unfit
They really should have a 2 minutes silence for the Kochi Tuskers
Y'kno they feed the speech into Shukla through a usb port
Good only, Sachin is watching the opening ceremony with Mukesh bhai and Nita Bhabhi on a 5000 inch flat screen
Smart ploy - after this disastrous opening ceremony, the ipl games will seem like India winning the world cup
Gng by the guys in charge, Srini, Shukla - they should have had the ipl opening ceremony in a bombay dance bar
Expected viewership of IPL Closing ceremony drops to negative after Opening fiasco
Pharma-IPL nexus suspected after opening ceremony viewers complain of never-before symptoms
Doctor: What have you got? Patient: Opening ceremony
 |
| click on cartoon |
Murali Vijay's job is to bat through IPL 5.
At this rate, by the end of today's game, Ojha's gonna be wearing a funny coloured cap.
Won't be surprised if mid innings Srini arranges for some MI player transfusions into CSK.
CSK introduces money-back scheme from Ravi Jadeja.
By the end of this innings, Jadeja may have to start paying CSK to play for them
Post match Levi - Sachin said to me...
Captaincy took 25 kgs off me - Sachin (after the 6 thru the covers)
Think of the filthiest swear words you know. Richard Levi is using them on the CSK bowling
Brace yourself for the most stinking puns on Levi tomorrow morning
If Bollinger isn't expecting, then why does he look like he's eating for two?
Reactive captaincy would be: MSD making Ashwin captain now
This Nohit Sharma innings was a little longer than his stint in England - get hurt, get out
At this rate, very soon they're gonna ask Anjali Tendulkar - what were you and Sachin talking about in the middle
Bollinger reprimanded by Rajiv Shukla for injuring Sachin. Put on notice.
CSK players carry their Indian form into IPL game
The team that has the least players in the Indian squad should win IPL
We bleed for Sachin's finger
DAMN! Another game where Manoj Tiwary didn't get to play
Congrats Nita Bhabi soooooooo happy for you
Sachin unable to shake hands (becoz of injured finger), so CSK players dip their hands in his icepack and go touchy
Follow us on Twitter @BoredCricket
And if you haven't had enough, here are some more from that dreadful Opening Ceremony:
Gambhir - they could have finished the opening ceremony earlier
The cynics will always say - "Oh, you gotta see how the Chinese do the IPL Opening Ceremony!"
Sehwag - the opening ceremony is unfit
They really should have a 2 minutes silence for the Kochi Tuskers
Y'kno they feed the speech into Shukla through a usb port
Good only, Sachin is watching the opening ceremony with Mukesh bhai and Nita Bhabhi on a 5000 inch flat screen
Smart ploy - after this disastrous opening ceremony, the ipl games will seem like India winning the world cup
Gng by the guys in charge, Srini, Shukla - they should have had the ipl opening ceremony in a bombay dance bar
Expected viewership of IPL Closing ceremony drops to negative after Opening fiasco
Pharma-IPL nexus suspected after opening ceremony viewers complain of never-before symptoms
Doctor: What have you got? Patient: Opening ceremony
India weds Sri Lanka & Thirimanne beds Mankad.
After Sehwag’s stunning catch:
Random Ashwin:
Thirimanne beds Mankad:
Death by Vinay Kumar:
Jatman:
Sachin-man begins:
Sachin-man ends:
MSD as the drinks' boy:
Pak vs. England (KP’s back-to-back 100s)
India-Pak Reaction:
Kapil Dev & Sachin Tendulkar reveal their pre-retirement secrets.
The year: 1989. Still 5 years before Kapil retired, and the year Sachin made his debut. It’s an iconic ad, more so in hindsight, seeing the juxtaposition of two players from different generations playing together. If Boost could, I don’t put it beyond them to have approached The Don to do an ad with Sachin.
OK, so Kapil said Sachin should retire from ODI cricket? Big deal. Don’t you, on bad days say that all the time? I do. I want all of them to retire. And then, soon enough I want them to unretire. Retire, unretire, play on, retire, easy as that.
A few minutes back, there was a tweet from the NDTV cricket editor @NikhilNaz “Reports in the Australian media suggest Ricky Ponting likely to announce his retirement from all forms of the game tomorrow.”
To which I asked - But why is Ponting retiring from all forms, Kapil Dev hasn't even asked him to retire from ODIs?
I’ve been laughing all day, and many days before today about Ponting. And that, at least for me, is how I define my relationship with many of these cricketers who I feel I know on first name basis.
And yet I prefer not to know them personally, I’m good knowing their cricket, their idiosyncrasies, and what I make of them, and that can be, in a warped way, quite personal.
Most of these guys on the verge of retiring are younger than me, by a year or two, a few months, that kind of thing. So there’s this warped kid-brother angle I have worked out in my head.
So when I read Nikhil’s tweet, it wasn’t so funny anymore. And it wasn’t as if I didn’t know, but for it to be mentioned in print, that defined it.
So I got thinking and tweeted - Ponting tomorrow, the others follow soon - they're talking about my generation. so schizo about these retirements. deep down we want them all to play on so we can go on about the retirements.
But that’s enough serious, here are some @BoredCricket tweets about Kapil Dev saying that Sachin should have retired after the World Cup/ and he should retire immediately -
Doubt Sachin will ever find the words to reply to Kapil Dev. Uska toh jawab nahin!
Sachin's shoe-shiner: How dare Kapil Dev ask Sachin sir
to hang his boots.
The BCCI has taken many ICL players back into the fold.
Time they extended that generosity to Kapil Dev.
Think twice before you push for Tendulkar's retirement.
When it comes to pass, where will you get your 15 minutes of fame from?
"Kapil Dev should announce his retirement with retrospective effect immediately after the 1983 World Cup" – signed, hard core Sachin Tendulkar fans
"Kapil Dev should announce his retirement with retrospective effect immediately after the 1983 World Cup" – signed, hard core Sachin Tendulkar fans
Watch Richard Levi's fastest T20 100 (beyond IPL boundaries)
Before MSD's one match suspension, South Africa's Richard Levi suspended disbelief - 100 of nothing (45 balls), 117* of 51, 13 sixes (the most in a T20 innings, wait, isn't that slower than the fastest ODI 100??*) and an IPL contract. Richard Levi will be signed on by the Chennai Super Kings or the Mumbai Indians (or England) or whoever bids more in the tie breaker after both their bids collide at $2 million. Lalit Modi will tweet about how it was fixed and they had already spent their allotted sum on other players in the previous auction, but don't believe everything he tweets or you see on TV.
@baijunair02 tweeted " Sahara says they want Richard Levi in place of Yuvraj for Pune Warriors or they will pullout again... "
*Yeah it is. The fastest ODI 100 is by a T20 player, Afridi, of 37 deliveries. The 2nd fastest is by a D/L-phobic player, Boucher, of 44 balls. Ha! the 3rd fastest is by one obscure, BC Lara of 45 balls. So take that T20, ODI's just did you in. The 4th fastest is once again by Afridi, again of 45 balls.
Thanks to Alternative Cricket for the video
Some @BoredCricket tweets from the India vs Aus ODI, 19th Feb, 2011
3rd umpire ki aankh nahin, button hai
Much like some cockroaches, Michael Hussey will survive a nuclear holocaust.
That takes care of MSD's post-match conference - "You can't drop so many catches and afford to win matches..."
India for Hussey Ad slogan: Make it Largesse
Why not just keep the drinks' boy on the field. He's doing way to much running going on and off the field every 2 mts.
Hussey Dismissed: Surely an appeal to the UN, American Peace Keeping Forces, and Sanctions on India must be underway
Vinay Kumar can be so soft spoken with his bowling.
After this over, the groundmen will be called to collect pieces of Vinay Kumar, scattered across the ground
At innings' close - Bonus point for Australia#EarlyBoredCall.
A very tough one: what do you call a poor man's Vinay Kumar?
Going by rotation (and injuries) for the next ODI, Sehwag, Sachin and Gambhir will all be rested.
Australia vs REST of India.
Replay: For Parthiv Patel to play a game, triple rotation will have to kick in: Rest an opener, rest wicketkeeper, rest captain
India has regained Test-status-form.
Politically correct tweets on Sachin's predicament doing the rounds
OK, enough,@tiwarymanoj kindly pad up for the next game, and the one after that.
Elsewhere some guy called Richard Levi has scored the fastestT20100 off 45 balls. India has 29/3 of 54.
There are hit the deck bowlers but these Aussies are more like hit-the-Indians bowlers.
The selectors didn't do VVS Laxman any favors, they just saved Rohit Sharma's career by not playing him in the Tests down under.
Taking their cue from Mumbai Indians and Pune Warriors, BCCI requests for 5 foreigners to be allowed in the Indian playing eleven.
@baijunair02 tweeted " Sahara says they want Richard Levi in place of Yuvraj for Pune Warriors or they will pullout again... "
*Yeah it is. The fastest ODI 100 is by a T20 player, Afridi, of 37 deliveries. The 2nd fastest is by a D/L-phobic player, Boucher, of 44 balls. Ha! the 3rd fastest is by one obscure, BC Lara of 45 balls. So take that T20, ODI's just did you in. The 4th fastest is once again by Afridi, again of 45 balls.
Thanks to Alternative Cricket for the video
Some @BoredCricket tweets from the India vs Aus ODI, 19th Feb, 2011
3rd umpire ki aankh nahin, button hai
Much like some cockroaches, Michael Hussey will survive a nuclear holocaust.
That takes care of MSD's post-match conference - "You can't drop so many catches and afford to win matches..."
India for Hussey Ad slogan: Make it Largesse
Why not just keep the drinks' boy on the field. He's doing way to much running going on and off the field every 2 mts.
Hussey Dismissed: Surely an appeal to the UN, American Peace Keeping Forces, and Sanctions on India must be underway
Vinay Kumar can be so soft spoken with his bowling.
After this over, the groundmen will be called to collect pieces of Vinay Kumar, scattered across the ground
At innings' close - Bonus point for Australia
A very tough one: what do you call a poor man's Vinay Kumar?
Going by rotation (and injuries) for the next ODI, Sehwag, Sachin and Gambhir will all be rested.
Australia vs REST of India.
Replay: For Parthiv Patel to play a game, triple rotation will have to kick in: Rest an opener, rest wicketkeeper, rest captain
India has regained Test-status-form.
Politically correct tweets on Sachin's predicament doing the rounds
OK, enough,
Elsewhere some guy called Richard Levi has scored the fastestT20100 off 45 balls. India has 29/3 of 54.
There are hit the deck bowlers but these Aussies are more like hit-the-Indians bowlers.
The selectors didn't do VVS Laxman any favors, they just saved Rohit Sharma's career by not playing him in the Tests down under.
Taking their cue from Mumbai Indians and Pune Warriors, BCCI requests for 5 foreigners to be allowed in the Indian playing eleven.
@iplgirl and @theashes on twitter
@theashes I didn’t know the first thing about cricket
@iplgirl I didn’t know the first thing about cricketers
@theashes they flew me to Australia for a game named after me : )
@iplgirl they flew me back to South Africa away from a game named after me : (
“The slower one got the slower one.”
That was the Dravid dismissal @BoredCricket on twitter.
It was 6.45 pm, 9th April, and Rahul was batting for the Royals for the first time. Looking at him bat, you’d think he was batting for the first time. 28(35) looks a lot better than the run fast Dravid put us through. It took Steyn’s slower one to knock him over. The irony was not lost on Dravid.
Follow us on twitter for more irony such as this -
Forget Watson's 185, even Ponting got 37. #BadBangladesh
Because you were not watching, it is our responsibility 2 inform you, Bangladesh just lost its 6th wicket.
KKR take on themselves later today.
Happy Bored Day Ian Bell. Ghanta.
The most eagerly awaited IPL game - Delhi Daredevils vs Kings XI Punjab.
Has everyone following the IPL on twitter added a blond babe 2 their dp
If India could, they'd call Ishant mid way thru this spell
Do the KKR fans have an extra baggage allowance for ipl4
Kallis 50, what will he play for now
One day, MSD will make Morkel play for India #Ripleys
How Styris is still playing, only Scott knows.
According to SMG, MSD's bottom has a hand #StrongBottomHand #IPL
MSD in early, chasing 274 again #ipl
It was 6.45 pm, 9th April, and Rahul was batting for the Royals for the first time. Looking at him bat, you’d think he was batting for the first time. 28(35) looks a lot better than the run fast Dravid put us through. It took Steyn’s slower one to knock him over. The irony was not lost on Dravid.
Follow us on twitter for more irony such as this -
Forget Watson's 185, even Ponting got 37. #BadBangladesh
Because you were not watching, it is our responsibility 2 inform you, Bangladesh just lost its 6th wicket.
KKR take on themselves later today.
Happy Bored Day Ian Bell. Ghanta.
The most eagerly awaited IPL game - Delhi Daredevils vs Kings XI Punjab.
Has everyone following the IPL on twitter added a blond babe 2 their dp
If India could, they'd call Ishant mid way thru this spell
Do the KKR fans have an extra baggage allowance for ipl4
Kallis 50, what will he play for now
One day, MSD will make Morkel play for India #Ripleys
How Styris is still playing, only Scott knows.
According to SMG, MSD's bottom has a hand #StrongBottomHand #IPL
MSD in early, chasing 274 again #ipl
Oh right, you can follow us @BoredCricket on twitter
India vs England Live. Sometimes.
To recreate a Live atmosphere for today's Bangalore game, we are in talks with the cops to lathi charge our readers.
You can follow multiple orgasm Live conversations of the Bored Members here.
The Night Of the IPL Generals.
After BRC’s defeat to the Redbacks, the 3 IPL captains hurriedly meet for dinner.They are just about to get chatting, when Sachin’s phone rings
Sachin: Hello
Sourav: DADAHERE
Sachin (repeats): He says DADAHERE
MSD: Is it a verified account?
Kumble: Does twitter allow you to make phone calls? I was not aware the technology existed
Sachin (to Sourav): Are you calling from your twitter account?
Sourav: No, DADAHERE…can I join you?
Before we know it, Sourav joins the 3 captains
Sourav: Aaah, nice, 4 Indian skippers here, 3 former, one present…may I join you?
MSD: Areh, after joining you are asking?
Sourav disregards MSD’s comments and pulls a chair for himself…Sachin and Sourav exchange pleasantries, Kumble is irritated, like he is when he bowls one down leg and is hit for a four…
Kumble: Can we start boys..
MSD: Oye, we are not your boys anymore!
(Genuine laughter, Kumble feigns a smile, then his phone rings, it’s Dravid)
Dravid: Are you coming for dinner, I’m at the coffee shop…
Kumble: Eh…
MSD: What is it now, can we start now, this was supposed to be an emergency meeting…
And just then MSD’s phone rings, it’s Raina
Raina: Should I order pineapple raita or mixed raita?
MSD: Eh…pineapple kar de…
Naturally the meeting is adjourned. Sourav and Sachin walk out together, while Kumble and MSD go out talking on their phones.
Ganguly's twitter handle is dadahere
Now ECB blames BCCI over twittergate
It boils down to BCCI conspiring to make KP available for the Champions League (CLT20). And the only way KP could've been available for the League was if he was free of international commitments.
A seething ECB after the exposé have not only blasted the BCCI, but have also lodged a formal complaint with the ICC for the suspension of the CLT20.
According to our sources, the ICC will seriously consider making an example out of this incident.
An internal inquiry into the matter suggests that there has been an upsurge in such 'accidental' f*ck tweets, in the hope the cricket boards drop the players from the national squads paving the way for more lucrative leagues like the CLT20 and IPL where they can earn more for far lesser efforts.
The Night Before - the must-win game
The Indian team squats around Kirsten's room, as Suresh Raina readies himself for a speech. Raina smiles around, clears his throat and shoots...
RAINA
Thing is, we gotta get the Bonus Point tomorrow, more important than winning we gotta get the bonus point...because if we get the Bonus Point tomorrow then we can forget about not getting the Bonus Point against Sri Lanka...ok, understand, Bonus Point mangta, ok? Any questions?Raina moves to sit down when all the players raise their hands
RAINA
Ok, BossDK, you firstBossDK stands up to ask his question, trips himself, lands in Naman Ojha's lap
RAINA
Well caught Ojha...Garry, wadaya say?? Khila deyn?PRAGYAN OJHA
If both Naman Ojha and I play, I want to be called Ojha and he can be called Naman..KIRSTEN
That's unfair on Ojha, you can be called O1 and he can be called O2PRAGYAN OJHA
No, no...I breathe life into the team, I wanna be called O2VIJAY
If I'm not playing tomorrow, can I go to Victoria Falls?YUSUF PATHAN
Look, Lalit Modi is wishing us best of luck on twitter from Florence Nightinglae ROHIT SHARMA
Has Sachin said anything? His good luck helps, always...KOHLI
Sehwag sounds like a sadhu on twitter...always giving gyaan from some quotations book...BOSSDK
I feel we all gotta open twitter accounts and talk to our fans and all...
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