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Showing posts with label umpire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label umpire. Show all posts
Dharmasena apologises to Sehwag.
Some questions about the IPL.
(thought about while pondering why there are no two matches today when it is a holiday while there were two on 31st March when half the Indian financial world was burning the midnight oil closing the damn books)
1. Why does the billion dollar IPL (as claimed by the greatest Lalit of them all) have to resort to pimping its cheerleaders on the mobile? Talking of cheerleaders, why are all of them white and look distinctly East European? Wasn’t there a KKR run reality show in 2009 to find an Indian cheerleader? What happened to her? Is it because….
2. Why is it that the commentary seems less about the cricket and more about fitting in corporate names even at the cost of making the elderly gentlemen who used to play the game sound like roadside hawkers selling mobiles, real estate, banking services and tires.
3. Speaking of tires, has anyone working for the billion dollar (heh!) entity even cared to do a Google Image search on a “blimp”?
4. Why is it that the bottom rung team always has to have some controversy on the sidelines? The Laxman- Gilly tug of wars in IPL 1, the Ganguly- Buchanan – SRK-Fakeiplplayer fracas of IPL 2 and now, the Yuvraj – Sangakarra nonsense. Can’t it simply be that the other seven teams are performing much better? Why is it that Yuvraj is struggling because of non cricketing issues? Can’t it be that he is just not that good as we thought?
5. Why is there no anti corruption unit member supervising the game? A “billion dollars” are at stake. We have team owners sitting in the players’ dugout, a place where no non team member should be even hovering around. We have lots of the shady types sitting in the members’ enclosure doing their “business” on their blackberries and other gizmos. If this were Sharjah, there would have been an outcry already.
6. Why is a nobody like Arjun Yadav even wearing a player’s uniform, let alone pocketing lacks of rupees? Is it because he is the son of a certain Shivlal Yadav? Speaking of sons, thankfully the cricketing exploits of the son of Bishen were not shoved down our throats. Is this the small return for us in return of us having to bear with his mike skills?
7. If this is not an ICC controlled event, why are the umpires standing belonging to the ICC elite panel. Wouldn’t they have preferred the rest from the hectic schedule which they often use as excuse when the umpiring in a Test or an ODI crosses the realms of crap?
8. Talking of umpires, why are there no referrals? Surely a billion dollar (love these two words) enterprise can afford these fine technologies which makes the game fairer. They can even hawk them (Hotmail Hot Spot anyone?). Also the referrals take time. Which means more ads. Guess Mr. Modi ain’t that bright after all.
by Dhaanu
Blogs at Bakwaas Bateein (Random Rambling of a raving borderline lunatic)
Making a song and dance out of Bhajji and Dilshan.
(A tribute in broken Punjabi-Hinglish to the unbreakable Bhajji and his compelling appeals that have devoured Dilshan twice.)
Kar de ungal upar shupar!
Upar Shupar! Upar Shupar!
Sun le meri baat puttar!
Kar de ungal upar shupar!
Upar shupar! Upar shupar!
Dilshan ka kya, pad lagi ki paad maari
Awaaz ayee, awaaz ayee!
Gandi se joh bu ayee!
Kar de ungal upar shupar!
Upar Shupar! Upar Shupar!
Dey de, dey de, dey de yaar
Upar Shupar!
Abey! Don’t care what he says!
Dilli daredevils da munda haiga!
He should know kaise haiga!
Upar Shupar! Upar Shupar!
Kar di appeal, ho gaya mamla fit
Kar di appeal, ho gaya mamla hit!
Umpire ne kar di Dilshan ki!
Upar Shupar!
Bhajji ne kar di Dilshan ki
Upar Shupar!
Upar Shupar! Upar Shupar!
(This song is best danced in two steps, first raise your dreaded finger like an idiot umpire would with a glazed look into the mid distance (enamoured by Bhajji’s appeal) then raise the other hand’s finger up, break into the Bhangra with both fingers raised – sing it yaar, Upar Shupar! Kar de ungal Upar Shupar!
The Fast Bowler loses the plot
There have been quite a few moments on the field when most of us have made a hash of things. Yours truly has had a quite a few, like bowling a beamer in a fit of rage (flew over the keeper’s head for a boundary), tried a slower ball with 3 runs required off the last ball that ended up at square leg (the ball was wet. Really, it was), run the skipper out in a tense match, (a complete yes-yes, no- wait, oh shit, sorry skip type comedy) and a few others.
But the one that I distinctly remember is from the old colony days.
In those days, we’d just get whoever was available and divide them into 2 teams and play a few games.
Now, me being me, had a tendency to lose track of who’s playing for which team.
One such match was heading towards a tight finish. With me bowling the penultimate over.
The batsman dabbed the ball and set off for a cheeky single. I ran towards the ball, picked it up and saw Vaibhav, a friend of mine, at the non striker and hurled a flat return at him, only for him to let it go, while the batsmen ran an overthrow. I let go with a volley of expletives, “bh*****d, ball pakad, wicket hai yaar. “
Only for him to say, “g***u, Tinu (my nickname during those days) main umpire hai yaar!! And collapsed on the ground laughing
I looked sideways, and got the picture, albeit too late.
The guy who was supposed to back up had slipped and fallen, and I in my hurry to run the batsman, out had completely forgotten that Vaibhav was actually on the other team and was umpiring. The whole gang was laughing their arses off. Just felt like burying my head in the ground right then.
Don’t really remember, whether we won or lost. Was busy cursing myself at long on.
The leg pulling was endless for a few days.
Oh come on now, happens to the best of us
Don’t you have a story to tell?
C’mon let it out then
Prafs can also be found bowling wides down the leg side at Right Arm Fast
Beer Cricket.
The ball behaved like a hooligan. Streaked past the boundary and then knocked the beer of its perch. The beer stumbled, emptied itself on the ball. Beer and ball frolicked on the grass, it was a moment. The bereaved (the beer-eaved) was overcome with shock and media glare excitement.
Then the beer-ball was dried, and bowled with.
Minutes of tweets, 2nd Day Ashes:
Beer on ball. Look out for beamers.
In spite of the beer, the ball kept low.
Rudi though was high as a kite. Guess he drank the ball.
If that didn’t make sense, well, neither did Rudi.
Let's talk about umpires, baby!
I'm thinking umpires, after this chat about chases at Well Pitched –
Golandaaz:
I think it’s the case of too little too late for Australia. All 400+ chases in Test Cricket have been architected by the top order. The only 350+ chase I remember, not starred by the top order, was against Pakistan by Gilchrist and Langer I think.
Australia winning is highly unlikely.
Q:
Golandaaz, You are right abt the Langer / Gilchrist chase orchestrated by the lower order.. however had the umpire given Langer out, as he was edging Wasim Akram behind the stumps, it would have never happened.
How that loss still hurts.
Coming back, so yeah the big chases have been due to the top order.. but if a fresh Clarke and Haddin can come firing in the morning, who knows what can happen..
Naked Cricket:
Q, Golandaaz, that Langer test of yours - Parker and Wiley umpired.
It was Parker who didn't give Langer's edge, right?
The edge was thick, and so was Parker.
Btw not that we care, but Parker turned 50 y'day. The Langers were over.
Ok, here is what I’m driving at: Peter Parker was an Aussie umpire officiating in a test match played by Australia v Pakistan. That was November, 1999. Ten years on, we have neutral umpires.
And while games like Hobart are tough to let go off, how easy will it be for the Aussies to forget Lord’s and forgive the neutral South African umpire?
Much as Lord's will be about Freddie for the Poms, it will be about Rudi for the Aussies.
The argument that Australia was outplayed 5 outta 5 days and England would still have won, doesn't hold here.
How far can Human Technology be? If ever there was a case, for a strong Nokia branding (human technology is their line), to interface man and machine, it is now.
The umpire can be the coat rack, ball counter, PR man on field, there are still many roles for him - best of all, we need him to stand there, fill space. Almost like a tradition we cannot let go off. But at the same time, these moronic mistakes (albeit human and unintentional) are starting to sully the sport.
Bring on the machines. Sir Don said so a long time ago, what do you say sir?
Pick your end wisely.
Pakistani umpires are likable. They give guys out.
Better still, today, they (Asad Rauf is royalty) gave some Aussies out.
Still, Kumble bowled himself and Ishant from Rudi’s end. Which is a lot less likable than Howard’s end.
When India bat, will howling wolf Lee bowl from Rauf’s end?
Whoever does, you can bet your bottom Aussie dollar, he’ll get more from Rauf, than Rudi gives.
Or will Rudi finally come around by then?
On a dour note, it’s a shame about the referrals. We could’ve collectively blamed Saheba sahib, the TV umpire.
But then, we still got Lee’s beamers to look up to.
But before that some quick runs, wickets or both. The IPL leg of the test match starts tomorrow.
Bring on dear Watson. Elementary!
Cricketing Inventions and Lessons from a Bored Afternoon
by VM
I never thought that an odd invention from a bored summer afternoon would occupy my childhood fancies so much. What could possibly happen when it’s so scorching hot that you aren’t allowed outside, you don’t have a proper bat, and less than three people available for a team game? Stick-cricket happened.
As the name suggests, it’s a modified form of the game we love, only with rules tweaked to make a game out of the several restrictions that I describe. It’s mostly played with only two people using a stick – often curtain rod - and a harmless plastic ball or occasionally mock-tennis ball to minimize any damage to our surroundings. A box or shelf doubled up for stumps and a line drawn with chalk delineated the batting-crease. There was no wicket keeper, unless we could afford a third player, and no fielders, well, actually there was one fielder: the bowler. There was no umpire either, the batsmen would have to “walk”, in this case to the bowling crease, to bowl to the person who he has just faced as bowler. Honesty was necessary and inevitable, for anything contrary would mean returning either to the books or the boring TV. No “in-the-air” shots were allowed, for that could cause damage at home and invoke the ire of the folk at home. The rules were thus set up.
So how does the batsman score? Well, the bowler would run up for a few steps and bowl to the only other player: the batsman. The batsman could then hit it some distance and run to the other end, quick enough to reach there before the bowler could pick up and throw to the end the batsman is running at. Hitting the end from which the batsmen is running from would not constitute a run out! So the game goes on like this.
If you’re thinking that it’s a boring game, you may not be too far from the truth, though it must be said that it kept me occupied and saved me some very boring afternoons. But more that anything, playing this game was in many ways the moment of truth for the cricket fan in me. It taught me how hard it can be to hit the ball for single, without dragging it on to my makeshift stump, how valuable the reverse sweep could be, and what talent it takes to hit a four. I must add that we did get better at scoring, but only with a lot of practice and meanwhile learned the art of patience. Most importantly, it turned me from a jingoistic cricket fan to an appreciative fan who would attempt notice the details, and most importantly realize that it is after all a game and not war, as was often portrayed by the newspapers then. Maybe this is why I like Test cricket more and than any other form. Perhaps this is also why most of favorite batsmen are the more patient like Dravid, Kallis and Chanderpaul.
Do you have a cricket-based invention from childhood or a cricket-watching moment of truth? There’s no better place than here to share.
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