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by megha + nc
Showing posts with label Mohammad Azharuddin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mohammad Azharuddin. Show all posts
28 year old man suddenly regresses to the age of 14.
The family of a man identified as Vijay Chauhan reported to be in his late 20s was in for a shock when he began to pack some notebooks in a bag before going off to sleep at an unusually early hour so he could wake up in time for school the next day. "After watching TV over dinner, he excused himself and was frantically looking for his school calendar so he could pack his bag according to the next days timetable", said the man's visibly distressed wife. "Vijay even mouthed some juvenile expletives when he realized he had two periods of SUPW the next day", she added.
The trauma for the family was over when he was reminded that he was 28 years old, the year was 2011 and school was 11-12 years ago. While initially unbelieving, the man was eventually reminded of his age when family members repeatedly showed him pictures of India's World Cup victory and also convinced him that the "hot didi" in the room was actually his wife.
Earlier in the evening, Vijay had been watching the 2nd Test between India and England on TV. Soon he began cursing Mohd. Azharuddin, supposedly the Indian captain, for India's shoddy performance. "Actually, I blame it on the team. England's tail batted longer than our whole team. This took me back to the 90s when I was a school kid and believed in the Indian team's moral right to victory. With this performance, the memories of Durban '96 and Barbados '97 came back to me. The resemblance to this test was so much that I started believing I was in the 90s all over again. Look we also allowed Broad to come back into form and talk about replacements turning out match winning performances. I am telling you, it was not difficult to be taken back to the 90s. " said Vijay speaking at a press conference after it was confirmed that he had regained his senses and come back to the present day. "By the way, anyone know whats up with Franklin Rose ?", he added.
Aashish Kapoor, a pillar on whose shoulders Team India rested in the 90s was quick to point out how Harbahajan Singh, just like him, was effectively playing the role of an extremely ineffective spinner. "The game plan for the boys should be to ball well, field well and bat well, you know and we will be back in this series", added India's longest serving captain of the 90s, Mohd. Azharuddin.
The trauma for the family was over when he was reminded that he was 28 years old, the year was 2011 and school was 11-12 years ago. While initially unbelieving, the man was eventually reminded of his age when family members repeatedly showed him pictures of India's World Cup victory and also convinced him that the "hot didi" in the room was actually his wife.
Earlier in the evening, Vijay had been watching the 2nd Test between India and England on TV. Soon he began cursing Mohd. Azharuddin, supposedly the Indian captain, for India's shoddy performance. "Actually, I blame it on the team. England's tail batted longer than our whole team. This took me back to the 90s when I was a school kid and believed in the Indian team's moral right to victory. With this performance, the memories of Durban '96 and Barbados '97 came back to me. The resemblance to this test was so much that I started believing I was in the 90s all over again. Look we also allowed Broad to come back into form and talk about replacements turning out match winning performances. I am telling you, it was not difficult to be taken back to the 90s. " said Vijay speaking at a press conference after it was confirmed that he had regained his senses and come back to the present day. "By the way, anyone know whats up with Franklin Rose ?", he added.
Aashish Kapoor, a pillar on whose shoulders Team India rested in the 90s was quick to point out how Harbahajan Singh, just like him, was effectively playing the role of an extremely ineffective spinner. "The game plan for the boys should be to ball well, field well and bat well, you know and we will be back in this series", added India's longest serving captain of the 90s, Mohd. Azharuddin.
Pranav
thought he'd play for India. An honest self evaluation of his
cricketing talents made him realize that he would do well if he made the
playing 11 of his college team for 2 consecutive games.
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Pranav also blogs at http://www.clearaswater.blogspot.com/
Guess what advise Azhar gave the fixers
The Night Before (Kallis & Azhar)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Kallis languidly dials a number, in between he double checks in his diary, disconnects and then dials again, and then again, this goes on for a long while - cock crows, day breaks, newspaper flies through the window and knocks Kallis...(all this happens in fast motion in a few seconds of course) - Finally Kallis presses Call!
Cut to
INT. AZHAR’S HOME –DAY
Barely has his phone rung once, Azhar does one of his magnificent back flips with the instrument, the phone somersaults as does Azhar and then catches it nonchalantly
AZHAR
(energised)
HowAreTheBoys?Screen is now split between Kallis’ room and Azhar's home where Sangeeta Bijlani looks on lovingly
KALLIS
(eyes shutting, sleepily)
Azza, I’m at sea againAZHAR
AskTheBoysHowManyFeetAboveSeaLevelIsThatKALLIS
My overnight score is hundred and…AZHAR
BoysToThatKALLIS
How come you never made a double Azza?AZHAR
Boys…KALLIS
(talking through his sleep)
Yeah? how come? Yeah, yeah...zzzzz
AZHAR
(he recreates the whole scene with phone, imaginary ball and bat)
PhoneRangWhenIWasOn199AndIMissedTheLine...BoysBeatles' 'Fixing a hole' starts to play and both Kallis and Azhar sing like choir boys; while Sangeeta dances her Bollywood gig around a column as if it were a tree.
A match made in heaven or hell?
Personally it’s been a rough wedding season. Looking back it’s like I’ve played 3 tests, 7 ODIs and an IPL in a few weeks. The ODIs are mostly like the wedding day (usually dry, I’m done with Car-o-bars, just come in late, leave early); while the tests and IPL are like the wedding receptions or the sangeet – it’s either a mindless binge or one of those rare days of joyous excess that make you want to pledge your life to the virtues of booze.
Bummers are games where India's slayed, and you’re so badly hung over the following day, because something is happening here, but you don't know what it is, do you Mister Jones?
There was one such sangeet in March, 1996. India played Lanka at Eden. Party at my place, watched very little of India’s innings, thankfully. One man in black claimed he was in mourning; most guys had the blues, they drank way too much. Bored Member Bhaskar Khaund was a notorious bartender; drinks flew over the cuckoo’s nest.
Today, I revisited that scorecard. Apart from the obvious pointers, only Sachin, Sanath and Murali remain from the 96 squads; I look at the Indian numbers – both Azhar and Jaddu didn’t score; Azhar was captain, Jaddu bowled 5 overs for 31, Srinath who had a three for bowled only 7. It’s crazy but once the mind goes strange places, there’s no stopping it. Unless you care to remember Aravinda walking down thumping them over mid on.
Sidhu, Azza set out their agenda for parliament
According to breaking news coming in:
Cricketer-turned-politicians and Members of Parliament - Navjyot Singh Sidhu and Mohd. Azharuddin are apparently toying with the idea of meeting the parliamentary affairs minister to recommend certain changes to parliamentary procedure.
Sidhu wants to make his one-liners/idioms/proverbs a part of parliamentary jargon and has decided to lobby hard for this cause. Sidhu also wishes to recommend 'laughter therapy' for all those MPs who take their work too seriously and often get engaged in heated arguments when debating an issue on the floor of the house.
Azza on the other hand wants translators for all those who mumble and speak under their breath like him. Azza is committed to the cause of his constituency Moradabad and doesn't want the opposition to misunderstand him when he raises the issues of his electorate as his usual speech would sound something like this "Mmmmm................. &%^%^$$##$@.........Sidhu i'll screw your happiness once again........mmmm..... you know... i mean.....i mean.... you know"
Want to know why Azhar really joined politics?
We are repeating ourselves here, but then so is Azhar.
While we've run this Azhar contest twice before, and the entries were good enough to force Azhar's exit, it's never over till the final ball is bowled. And the final ball will never be bowled, for there is no final ball, there's always another ball and another game.
But that is not the point. We just asked you if you wanted to know why Azhar really joined politics.
And you said yes. You did say yes?
As we said earlier, at the risk of repeating ourselves, Azhar too is repeating himself. Enough.
AZHAR HAS BEEN BOOKED AGAIN.
It's out in print, and oddly enough it was because he distributed pamphlets that did not bear the Printer's name and address. See, he was never one to name drop.
"A case has been registered against Azharuddin after he distributed election pamphlets, which did not bear the name and address of publisher and printer, to voters in Badhapur village in Bijnore district on May 7," additional superintendent of police RK Raghuvanshi told IANS over phone.
Basically he's been booked for violating poll code.
As they say, uski poll khul gayee hai.
'Why Azhar joined politics' Contest Winner
Azhar, come again, why have you joined politics?
click image to enlargeAfter Azhar the politician, now Azhar the cartoon makes a comeback.
You can go here for earlier comments, or be inventive for a change.
Speak for Azhar, god knows he needs it.
The most Bored reply goes into the blurb.
Boys, played well. Now play well again.
Facing the music
"I am pretty used to talking. Even when I was playing cricket my managers asked me to address the media. I think if you are to the point while addressing people that give a good impression," the former cricketer said.
Sunil Gavaskar ?
Manoj Prabhakar ??
Sebastian Coe ??? *
Sharad Pawar ????
Sachin Tendulkar ?????
* I know you are abusing me, pls go on… You thought it was a faux pas ?? I was just listing some seasoned politicians out !!
I am sure, had you missed that rediff.com story (like how I almost did…) you wouldn’t know who this gentle man is…
Yes… theboysplayedwell… itwasaneasypitchtobatonbattingwicketgoodtosstowinandtheboysplayedwellthankyou…
Mohammad Azharuddin was the one who said so…
I tried imagining how he would speak in the parliament, just in case he gets elected…
Theboysaresufferingtheconditionsareterribletheycan’tbathnowateracuteshortageI’msurewewould workonthispositivelyandperformwelltommorowthankyou
I would advise you guys take a breath control session before even trying that…
Guys from Hyderabad… get ready to face the music, yes those music of speeches. He is pretty used to talking.
At least he says so...
Azhar, why have you joined politics?
click on image to enlargeWhat does Azhar say?
The most Bored reply goes into the blurb.
by straight point + naked cricket
FLASHBACK 1: This month, those days…
Rewinding back to 1995, October 25, 26, 27, 28, 29
The place was still
M A Chidambaram stadium, that was were the pitch was laid out. The Lords of cricket in
Even before the cricketers could set foot on the MCC club grass, the MET office and Doordarshan,
The toss master he was, Azza won and the Indians were batting under overcast conditions. In charge of handing the man who was purportedly the reverse swing expert of NZ cricket, Danny Morrison and another second generation maverick
Jadeja played 41 balls before he finally got out bowled to Dion Nash for 3. Prabhakar was then joined by Sidhu who by then was fondly called “Sixer” Sidhu by his fans in
By the time the match had reached its 72nd over on the fourth day, Manoj Prabhakar the opener had briskly & very attackingly reached his 41st of runs (in 220 balls), he had with him a certain young man who already had made his mark in the cricket annals as a budding superstar. Prabhakar must definitely have seen him as a very rash youngster that day, someone who didn’t take his test cricket seriously. The man was a one certain Sachin Tendulkar who was, at that time on 52 and this was just after the 88th ball he had faced.
By which time it was rain again and it seemed
And
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