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He wrapped up his nap early, so he promoted himself. From the black caps’ captain, he became their general. He was up to it, so he came up the order, 4 down, this when the Kiwis were so down, earth worms would struggle to go lower.
Dan boy usually bats low. After him it’s basically boys who cannot bat. Dan though can more than bat. I’ve always felt that he should bat above McCullum. That’s because Brendon cannot bat. He is a limited limited overs’ edition.
Dan though is boring enough to embrace test cricket. At 7 and 8 down he has played some spectacularly annoying innings – the type that stall games, arrest hope and choke viewers.
He is the third man. That is his playing area. He is a backhanded player. He only plays behind the wicket. If I ever played against Dan, everyone would be behind the wicket.
Might even be tempted to make the bowler bowl from behind. Go figure that out.
In the meantime, let me return to the killjoy’s batting, if you can call it that. Of course you can, once you see his bowling.
His Lordship, Sir Daniel Vettori has graced us with his presence.
Dilshan doesn't rate the Kiwis
Either that, or he thinks he's playing another t20 tournament. 92 off 72 balls on the first morning of a test match. That takes some doing.
Kiwis might have been all chuffed after SL did the usual sacrifice-the-opener-to-the-gods ritual. King Kumar didn't last too long either.
But Dilshan wondered what the fuss was all about, and cut and drove merrily on the way to 92. Didn't play the dilscoop though.
Too bad, he didn't get the hundred.
But going by the treatment dished out to the bowlers, the Kiwis will have some long field sessions on this tour.
And yes, Jayawardena got a hundred, but he doesn't get a post, because he isn't half as much fun.
"I bought a few Kiwis"
And it didn’t amount to match fixing. It's not like you say, I bought a few Indians, picked a few Pakistanis or sourced a few South Africans. Or am I getting ahead of myself, you heard of Kiwis being bought? IPL, ICL, aside.
Malfunction
Noun: mal’fúngkshun, A failure to function normally
I was searching for the “one word” that would best describe the Indian teams T20 performance today and found this one.
If anyone thought it is not, then sample this
94 for 5 in 13.2 – Almost 50% of your batting arsenal spent even before you crossed 100 and that to after exhausting 65% of the batting quota, not forgetting that fact that it was a T20 on a ground that was only bigger than the ones where we used to play book cricket those days (read classrooms)
MS Dhoni - Youth icon, inspirational captain, the mainstay of Indian middle order decides slow and steady wins the race, in a must win T20 scoring (a near run a ball) 28 runs in 30 balls
Ravinder Jadeja after having middled a couple beautifully decides enough is enough and holes one out to a hungry Guptill (16.5). Left one to wonder what the Indian strategy was
Irfan Pathan opening the Indian bowling started off on a great note, a six to Jesse Ryder. Bowling one of the shortest of short balls, at an express speed of not more than what would have been Anil Kumble’s “slowest” slower ball
But it was still a close match, or at least so it seemed. The Kiwis could win only in the last ball of the match
If you try and hide everything else and only look at the fact that NZ took their full quota of 20 overs to win or things like 86 of the Indian runs came in boundaries or that the Indians cleared the ropes more than the Kiwis then I must tell you that the grass is still very green on the other side of the septic tank.
But I thought the Indians were never in control of the T20’s, both the first match and this one. It makes one think if this is the beginning of the end, of what most of us call the great Indian cricket resurgence. I wish, I hope & pray that I be wrong when I say this. The verdict we dread would be out in the open in a couple of more weeks.
Ok, now to the most important part of this post. Why did one title this Malfunction?
One of the great Indian news channels called it so. Nope, they weren’t discussing any cricket when they said this. Apparently Ishant Sharma got his bottom exposed (of course not bare bottom, one could only see his thermal suit inner) and they called this a sacrilege and a wardrobe malfunction on the cricket field. The most interesting observation made by the esteemed channel was that the clothing sponsor Nike has to now answer a few difficult questions about how this happened.
This is what I call the great Indian news television malfunction.
Bored beyond bones – Conspiracy theory 1
Ever since the friends across their borders assured help, to avoid arrest the exodus and to improve the standards of the game,
They have lost talent, they have lost their experience to the rival league.
It is not the new guys who have put them in this winning position suddenly, for if they had new guys why didn’t they infuse this new blood long back?
It is actually the old guys, the guys who were part of the numbers (11) but didn’t contribute to anything except to probably taking their position in the team bus, hotel, breakfast table etc. who seem to make the difference now.
So how did it all happen all of the sudden?
How does a supposedly strong Kiwi team suddenly start losing hands down to those who were minnows till the Kiwi plane touched down in
Have the friends across borders started to deliver what they promised?
Monies, gentlemen?
Improved standards of the game?
Justin Vaughn, Sir Richard Hadlee, Daniel Vettori or someone from BCB should be able to explain better.
No. 2 team, yeah right
Before the Kiwi-Bangla ODI opener, there was talk of a 3-0 series win (and becoming the No. 2 team). By the Kiwis, in case you’re wondering. Looks like humble pie is for supper.
