by
Mahek
I look at the Bangladeshi team and think "GODDAMNIT why don't they ever take a shower"???? Well, one conversation with Purna and I think to myself "GODDAMNIT I need to cleanse myself of all the evil thoughts she's put in my head".
She loves her Saffas and ofcourse her fellow countrymen. She's also a major fan of Mohammad Ashraful, so much so that she coined a lovely nickname for him "Crashrafool". If you think that's not funny she coined one for AB de Villiers trying to play the Dilscoop (And horribly failing to execute it). She calls it the "Shitscoop".
Cricket runs in her blood as her father is a big fan of cricket. He also looks a lot like Zaheer Abbas. She claims Mushfiqur Rahim is her son but it's hard to believe her considering she's in her mid twenties (Or so she says). She also has plans to have the bebbies with Dale Steyn and has been devising an evil plan to get rid of his supermodel girlfriend.
Outside of cricket, like most Bengalis, she loves her football. Sadly she roots for the wrong team in Real Madrid although she makes up for it by being a fierce Spanish supporter. Her
blog is a nice getaway from all the serious stuff we cricket fans gorge ourselves on but make sure there aren't any minors around you when you go to it. I swear she swears like a Pirate from the Caribbean.
Here's wishing you a very Happy Bored Day Purna Hassan Cricket Minded. May you continue to stink up the blogosphere with your nasty posts!!!
Catch Purna take the piss out of the world at
www.cricketminded.blogspot.com
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by
Anonymous
I was on a road trip when the match happened and nearly crashed into another car when I heard the result. We had finally beaten the Poms. Nothing gives me more joy than to see the English be beaten at their own game.
But more than that, this win meant the three match ODI had been tied 1-1 and for the second time, Bangladesh had a chance to win a ODI series (if we exclude West Indies and Zimbabwe).
Huge stuff.
We didn't win of course, and although I secretly wished that we would I knew that it was not happening. Not because the second ODI win was a fluke, but because we lack the temperament to play big matches. Also, those Poms, they are slightly okay at this ODI thingy these days.
But now that we are done with our one night stands with the top level teams, we can think of roping them into relationships. Serious ones, where we dominate. I believe we are steadily making our way there...Mortaza is the new captain (I support it, Shakib was terrible and it was affecting his performance), Junaid Siddique is becoming a serious contender for the number three spot, we just won a match where Tamim was out early and even Crashrafool is being dropped occasionally. Not to mention Jamie Siddons has nearly perfected his suppressed angry face and these days you can only see the veins throbbing furiously. They are also picking up war injuries...well so far only my adopted son Mushfiq is. How can you not be rewarded after that?
Yes, we are done with one night stands. We are far too old for them.
Well...maybe one more with Ireland.
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by
Anonymous
Scenario 1: KP of the English/Saffa heritage requires some inspiration in the form of lots of runs as he had just come off a major injury and was sucking balls.
Solution: play Bangladesh.
Scenario 2: Trott, who started to believe that he was the English number three and hence played like one, needed to keep his spot in the side.
Solution: play Bangladesh.
Scenario 3: Captain Strauss, who couldn't even score against a second division English county team needed to not go the Vaughan way.
Solution: play Bangladesh.
Scenario 4: Gautam Gambhir, had a disappointing IPL, disappointing T20 World Cup, disappointing face (hence no real fun in the IPL parties) needed to not be demoted to the team that gets sent to Zimbabwe.
Solution: play Bangladesh.
Scenario 5: Virender Sehwag, who is also not as fit as Gary Sir needed to hone another skill so he doesn't get dropped on top of Yuvi. I don't really understand this, as Yuvi would make for a very soft landing.
Solution: play Bangladesh
Scenario 6: Bangladesh, providing motivation, inspiration, stimulation, instigation, career save-ation, for everybody who comes in contact with them. Needs to start winning something.
Solution: Err...play Bangladesh.
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by
Anonymous
Scrap Shakib's chicken pox and dip them in silver to make them look like diamonds. Then offer it to Alastair Cook as a bribe, he is from Essex after all.
Let Andrew Strauss know that his captaincy is in question. It's not, but they are English. They tend to believe in the worst.
Go the ICC way and pretend that Eoin Morgan is still too Irish for you to notice him.
Fix Tamim Iqbal quickly, that always helps. Remind him that Cook is playing and is therefore available to drop him at some point.
Frustrate them till they step on balls or clean them with nails. If we are lucky, they may take a bite as well.
Don't depend on Crashrafool. Or better yet, switch him with Mahmudullah.
Keep Mushfiq happy. He is my son you see. If you keep him happy, I am happy. If I am happy, I am not making the short five hour flight to England to unleash hell on you. If I am not making the short five hour flight to England to unleash hell on you, you are left with a team to at least compete. It all works out splendidly.
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by
Bored Guest
You had thought that when Bangladesh exited from the T20 World Cup, Crashrafool had left the Caribbean too. The proper cricket could now start. No physically and mentally challenged ball of talent around to frustrate you to your death.
Then you saw India play. These world class batsmen were falling victims to short balls. Murali Vijay was a frequent and often the first offender. Gambhir was not far behind, as was Yusuf Pathan. You didn’t think Pathan was going to be the only one not following the latest trend did you?
“This is normal!” you scream. Indians fall for the short balls like the teenage girls fall for the latest, effeminate, pre-pubescent singer with ugly hair. What you did not realize is that underneath the disguise of the short ball there was also a large number of stupid shots being played that lead to their dismissals. Stupid shots, world class batsmen- remember these two phrases for now.
Then we have a look at Sri Lanka and those two phrases resonate from the back of our minds. Again, world-class batsmen (albeit less than India) and stupid shots. Even Mahela played a stupid shot. You know Mahela? Whose T20 WC resume so far reads 81, 100, 98*? Yeah, that Mahela.
The mystery lies in the power of Crashrafool. He too goes to short balls and stupid shots, except he is a semi-world class batsman. Okay, quarter. Fine, one-sixteenth. But his power spreads far and wide, even when he is not on the islands. He leaves his trace and world class batsmen sniff it out like FBI-trained Labradors. They then proceed to revive the trace into a full-fledged Crashrafool-esque performance. The same flamboyance and then the same brain fail. It is all very touching.
The Crashrafool is pleased, yes, he is very pleased.
by Purna
who blogs at Cricket Minded
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by
Bored Guest
Oh those elegant shots that nearly took the Deshis to victory against Pakistan. So heroic, so sexy! It seemed that Crashrafool had finally stopped celebrating his birthday. He even reached a fifty! Bangladesh didn’t win of course but at least Crash had tried this time. Some breathed sighs of relief, some merely raised their eyebrows. Others checked to see if Earth had perished.
In the next game, those that breathed sighs of relief sighed in despair. The eyebrow raisers raised their eyebrows even higher and the others checked to see if Earth had glued itself back together. Crash had customarily started his birthday celebration again.
It is perfectly clear why Crashrafool went out for a duck against the Aussies. These were the same men he had whipped to make a name of himself, expect with a plucked chicken for a captain. There were expectations after the match against Pakistan. People were banking on Crashrafool to work his magic! Unfortunately, Crashrafool pulled his over-done trick out of the hat...a duck that accompanies him back to the pavilion.
It is not clear however why Crash had made the 65 against Pakistan. What was going through his empty skull he uses for a mind? Why did he decide to make runs all of a sudden? Why did he look like the Crashrafool that we all pined to see? Why did he decide not to keep this identity in the next game?
All complicated questions with one simple answer. The performance against Australia was a surprise birthday party. We didn’t know it was coming, but it was definitely pleasant and of course short. Also, it will return after a very long time. What is the purpose of a surprise birthday party if it comes every day? No point. Zero. Niente.
Just like Crashrafool’s score for eons to come.
by Purna
who blogs at Cricket Minded
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by
Bored Guest
Birthdays are meant to be celebratory occasions and at least once in your life, you must celebrate your birthday in a crash and bang manner, waking up the next day and not remembering a single thing, regardless of who you are.
If you are somebody though, the basic rules don’t change, but the intensity goes through the roof and into the homes of aliens in galaxies far, far away.
The arrival of Ashraful was one such occasion. Whether he was somebody or not in the beginning of his career is irrelevant. He was small, he terrorized Australians in one game and had strokes that made Ricky upset. That was enough for us to crown him a ‘somebody’.
So we celebrated his birthday. We banged, we crashed and we lit things on fire. By things, I mean fireworks, not people. That was Ashraful’s job, to set bowlers on fire, so we let it be. We woke up the next day not remembering a single detail.
Unfortunately, Ashraful never stopped celebrating. Worse, he chose his birth date at random. It was often and it came several times a year. Every time it was celebrated in the same manner-crash and burn. Ashraful burned often and he burned quickly. Sadly, it was Bangladesh that crashed every time.
Staying true to the very last detail of the analogy, Ashraful remembered none of it the next day. Jamie Siddons tried to bring back his memory, but when a man has no hair to protect his brain, who is going to trust his ability to remember? Hence Ashraful forgot and looked every bit the fool, just like his name.
But the ‘fool’ only made him half a man and that is just downright insulting. He is no longer a boy, but a strapping young lad of twenty-five who continues to crash...a word that conveniently contains the first part of his name.
And so crash joined fool, to become Crashraful. The little boy was on his way to becoming a man.
Purna blogs at Cricket Minded, and is not South African.
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