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Showing posts with label Navjot Singh Sidhu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Navjot Singh Sidhu. Show all posts

Sidhu's coctktail

by Gaurav Sethi

Navjot Singh Sidhu belongs to only one party: The NSS (Navjot Singh Sidhu Party). Whether he was loyal to the BJP, or will be to AAP, is beside the point. Sidhu is loyal to Sidhu.  Each morning he worships at the altar of the self, The Sidhu.

Sidhu feeds on the media just as the media feeds off him, both are in an amorous yet desperately selfish relationship with each other, possibly the only way to be. A quick scan of sherryontop.com ‘s homepage will acquaint you with the many faces of Sidhu – Entertainer, Commentator, Cricketer, Politician, Motivator (in that order). Amul butter’s iconic cartoon ads featuring Sidhu are thrown in too.

In Sidhu’s mind there is no doubt how he’s perceived by people today – he’s an entertainer. His other faces or roles are either secondary or part of his past. So when you see Sidhu during the IPL pre-match shows or intervals, you see him as an entertainer who talks cricket. So even as he makes cricket calls or sums up the game, his differentiator from the other ex-cricketer hosts (Gavaskar, Waqar, Kartik) is always full-on entertainment.

Sidhu doesn’t stop. He invents madness on the spot. And he feeds on his own madness. He is the reality show, flinging couplets, shayari, stats, barbs, forecasts, all tossed into one big Sidhu bharta. Depending who you are, you will either love him or loathe him, but there’s little chance he doesn’t evoke a reaction from you.  
Sidhu was always meant to be a politician, one that would communicate through entertainment. The sets of Sony are way too small for him. When he sits, flinging his hands in the air, shooting a Sidhuism and holding the pose, he is doing what he loves doing – entertaining, in most cases, himself. And which is why, he goes on and on. Sidhu is in love with Sidhu and his brand of unrestrained hype.

One day, Sidhu let himself go that extra yard on the field when he flung himself at the ball. Being just a maverick opening batsman wasn’t enough. Sidhu was about reinvention. He wanted to be Jonty Singh. And he became Jonty Singh, in the twilight of his career, he warmed up to fielding like never before.

Sidhu will be the first to tell you, many times over, that the key to his success is being unique or least projecting his uniqueness. Whether it was going down the wicket to Shane Warne or walking out of an England tour after a spat with Azhar, Sidhu has always been hardwired to his own impetuosity.  It works for Sidhu because Sidhu knows what makes Sidhu tick.

That Sidhu hung on in the backbenches of the BJP for so long is against Sidhu’s nature. Walking out of the BJP is no different from walking down the wicket to Warne. Back then, Tendulkar followed, and ripped into Warne, who will follow him today? Who will make Sidhu’s latest move memorable?

It’ll start in Amritsar but Sidhu will entertain from Ludhiana to London, he could be the start of AAP’s NRI attack, wooing his Punjabi bros and bhabhis, right across to Kunaeda. Look out, NaMo, you have company, overseas. 

Sidhu was born to enthral crowds. Hooking up with AAP, could give him access to a stage that BJP denied him – his own stage, shared only with the many avatars of Sidhu.

Less than three months Sidhu tweeted when he became a Rajya Sabha MP


Previous tweet

From October last year, three tweets back

Whether it’s on social media or on TV, Sidhu has been calculated, both in his praise as in his punches. Don’t be fooled by the entertainer, there’s a very canny guy under that matching turban. How far he goes with AAP could well be down to how much leg room Kejriwal allows him. And don’t we all know how Sidhu loves to use his feet. “Down the wicket, that’s six, easy as you like”. Brace yourself for a Sidhu storm.

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Even more annoying than the lost series

by Bored Guest

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7 things Sehwag is likely to do on his b'day

by Som

1. Wonder why it took him so long, three decades to be precise, to reach 31;

2. Look out for Gambhir when asked to uncork the bubbly. "After all, we open together".

3. Tally Allan Donald's photo with his own and wonder how come Donald looks so old if he was born the same day;

4. Wipe his shoes on a carpet which has Buchanan's face on one side and Mike Denness' on the other;

5. Open one of the gift boxes to find a Kapil Dev-autographed Rapidex English Speaking Course book.

6. Politely request Navjot Singh Sidhu not to embarrass him in front of his son by repeatedly calling him the 'Hauz Khas Howitzer';

7. Watch 'Dostana' with Gambhir.

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Why Sidhu should be India's next fielding coach

by Som

It's not easy to create vacancy when laying off is of the essence. But BCCI manages to do it with elan.

How? Simply by laying off!

So here rolls the head of Robbing-turned-Robbed Singh and there rolls the same of country's most famous luggage-handler Venkateswara's Prasad.

To sum up the situation, there you have two ready vacancies.

Now while BCCI is free to jolt a retire Supreme Court judge out of his slumber and make him head a head-hunting panel to find the next bowling coach, I would mildly suggest that the irrepressible Navjot Singh Sidhu aka Jonty Singh for the fielding coach's job.

Dub my a loony, call me a Sidhu, but not before you listen to the arguments.

Of course the proposition is fraught with risks of hearing impairments but Sidhu's presence is guaranteed to lift the fitness and fielding levels to such a stratospheric level, from where players would simply refuse to come down.

After all, you can't go home and have your eight hours when all ringing inside your dome is something along this line:

"Oye Guru, you miss a catch and it can be catch 22."

Let me tell you, no judge or participant has survived more than two sessions in any TV shows which had Sidhu under the same roof from where plasters came off every time he laughed.

So if dropping a catch invites a one-on-one session with Sidhu, no right-thinking cricketer – I would go to the extent of including the left-thinking ilk as well – would make that fatal mistake.

Besides, Younis Khan would vouch, it pays to have MPs by your side.

Anyone listening?

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Sidhu, Azza set out their agenda for parliament

by K

According to breaking news coming in:

Cricketer-turned-politicians and Members of Parliament - Navjyot Singh Sidhu and Mohd. Azharuddin are apparently toying with the idea of meeting the parliamentary affairs minister to recommend certain changes to parliamentary procedure.

Sidhu wants to make his one-liners/idioms/proverbs a part of parliamentary jargon and has decided to lobby hard for this cause. Sidhu also wishes to recommend 'laughter therapy' for all those MPs who take their work too seriously and often get engaged in heated arguments when debating an issue on the floor of the house.

Azza on the other hand wants translators for all those who mumble and speak under their breath like him. Azza is committed to the cause of his constituency Moradabad and doesn't want the opposition to misunderstand him when he raises the issues of his electorate as his usual speech would sound something like this "Mmmmm................. &%^%^$$##$@.........Sidhu i'll screw your happiness once again........mmmm..... you know... i mean.....i mean.... you know"

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Sidhuism comes true!

by Som

The unthinkable just happened. Kings XI Punjab skipper Yuvraj Singh walked out for the toss in knickers!

While the provocation behind stripping down to the bare minimum is not officially known, it only goes on to establish a prophesy by the venerable motormouth Navjot Singh Sidhu.

Sidhu had propagated that if ODI is pyjama cricket, T20 is underwear cricket and after Yuvi's knicker-show today, Sidhu stands, sits and sleeps vindicated.

Apparently, the idea has impressed IPL ringmaster Lalit Modi who is pondering making it mandatory for other captains as well.

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