More »
1st test, MoYo at 4, scores 17 and 41. Rookie Fawad Alam at 3. Never mind what he gets, he doesn’t make it to the next test.
2nd test, 1st innings, MoYo at 4 again: makes a duck! Rookie Umar Akmal’s made enough runs at 5 in the 1st test, let’s shove him at 3. Then MoYo springs a surprise, lands up at 3, top-scores with 83. Pak draw level in the series.
3rd test 1st innings, Somebody’s nephew Faisal Iqbal at 3, MoYo back to 4; another duck. 2nd innings, Day 3 close, Pak has already played 56 overs, 10 wickets in hand. Where will MoYo bat – if Pak lose an early wicket, he’ll wait it out. Why face the early morning conditions, fresh bowlers, why not just read the morning papers, cup of tea will do nicely.
What if the openers see the first hour through, and then a wicket falls – add another 13-15 overs to 56, let’s assume a wicket falls in the 70th over. That would be perfect timing for MoYo to bat. Sure, the new ball is due in 10 overs, but that’s still better than coming in at 4, at the stroke of lunch, with a dodgy 4-5 overs with the new ball bowlers steaming in.
Too many clichés for a man who is anything but that. Where MoYo will bat, frankly even he doesn’t know. It’s up to the Kiwis.
Leading from the middle.
Denial Vettori no more.
He’s back to being Daniel again, could be just for one innings, but I’m sure it’s good getting your Christian name back. I’ve always felt Vettori will be better opening the innings than closing it. Sure it’s easier to score of a ruddy old ball than a hard new one, but if you have a scientist in the team, let him out first – allow him to set up his lab, suss the conditions, and get back to you.
That’s the thing with Vettori, he will always get back to you; if not with the bat, then, with the ball, or an email. Oddly enough he’s not a comeback kid, but then, that could be because he doesn’t go anywhere – just a passing thought, what if they drop him, what kind of comeback will he make? I’m sure he’ll come back strongly, somersaults, pommel horse, maybe even the Roman rings.
Bloody unlikely with the glasses you’ll say – I agree. But what if he put the specs aside, and tried contacts? What if?
Like I’ve always felt what if Vettori bats ahead of McCullum? He can take his position, and give him his glasses. It will happen tomorrow – don’t be amazed if you see Vet walk out at 6 looking like a batsman sans specs, clean shaven, a proper looking cricketer; an enhanced stance, and once he plays, no prods to third man – where will he score his runs then, you ask?
My dear, as a proper Kiwi batsman you don’t score runs. You are part of the ruins.
"How can a Danish play for Pakistan?"
The Kiwis were asking some highly inane questions on the second day of the Wellington test. Not least of them, "how does one play test cricket?" Nobody told them “one doesn’t play test cricket, eleven do”. Naturally an individualistic team such as the Kiwis loses its way when Shane Bond’s body walks out on them. In a way, the soul of the team leaves them. They’re left with the brains and glasses, but how much can four eyes do?
Stumps first day, when Pak was only five down, of which Vettori had three, it was obvious the Kiwis had already lost it. That in spite of Misbah having lost it again; a sweep befitting his Kamikaze ways. Without dwelling on the MoYo distraction, the Akmal & bowling brothers secured the game with the bat – if an Akmal was not a keeper, you’d expect one of the bowlers to keep too. Perhaps it’s time for a bowler to captain Pakistan again.
Weather permitting, the game should be over in three days, latest lunch fourth day. We can however be done by lunch tomorrow, if Pak declares overnight. First use of the morning conditions, doubt New Zealand will better their 99 red balloons.
And while we’re at it, a special mention for Brendon McCullum and his first ball idiocies, now what the hell is he doing batting before Shane Bond. Oh forgot, Bond isn’t batting this one.
From Dubai Sports City, Live
Update 1
Just reached - walked enough for a lifetime - totally worth it to see the stadium - its bloody brilliant ! Well we get in, nazir gets out ...and bond, he's quick.
Update 2
Update 3
Malik's gone but the people were never here - I mean half the stadium's empty surprisingly. But half a stadium of subcontinentals is enough to make a racket - and it sure is one here. Great buzz. Suprb atmsphere as usual - so fcnkg great to be at a venue , and this looks like a truly special one. Well done Dubai ! Look forward to some big shots from both sides tonight. Disappointed to have both nazir and afridi gone , hope razzaq does the fireworks - going by that boundary maybe he will yet.
Update 4
So I look up from my camera to see who s walked in that's elicited that roar from the crowds. Cudn't be afridi. No younis either. Surely not imran khan ?!!! Lo behold ai Mhd Aamer ! The pak obsession with pace !
Update 5
Stepped out for a smoke - deathly silence from inside - of course , the wickets side shows zero ...
Update 6
The scoreboard before it conked off
Update 7
Damn , that's Mac gone lum. Crowds ibvsly going berserk with this Tanvir over. Which one ? Don't ask. The scoreboard's not working !
Update 8
We enjoying the kiwi line up names - broom , butler ... Meanwhile a (presumably) Kiwi family sit nearby looking terrified. The atmosphere must sound like Waziristan to them. Of course the onfield score right now looks even more dire. Ah , a boundary at long last. Hope to see this one go down to the wire with plenty electricity in between.
by Bhaskar Khaund
A third captain in three days.
That’s Pakistan cricket for you. Until day before Younis Khan was skipper. Then yesterday Mohammad Yousuf became captain. And now it’s Shahid Afridi who will captain the team.
Younis was the one day captain. Now it appears he was captain for a day. He stepped down as Pak captains often do, and MoYo was made captain – mind you, not of the one day team, but the test team that sails to New Zealand.
It is still unknown whether MoYo will also captain the ship. Is the ship the Titanic? Between Younis and Yousuf, they make YoYo.
Today it’s your day, tomorrow mine, and so on. It is a well mannered arrangement, very democratic. Once the army takes over it could be different. Remember how Musharraf ran cricket when he was country captain? He was more interested in the cricket than the country.
Rumour had it that his cabinet meetings were across a green top that measured 22 yards. Often when he was incognito, it was said, General is in the yard.
Anyway, on from MoYo and YoYo and Mush, it’s Boom Boom's day today. Pak play New Zealand in a twenty20 in Dubai. Bored Member Bhaskar and Raja be there, Q will wish he was.
Another format, another captain – so it’s Boom Boom today. And on the 4th day they will take a rest from captains, so you think?
If there’s a Hong Kong Super Sixes, a special envoy, one of the Pak backbenchers in China, he’ll be there. And if you’re Pakistani, never know, you could be King for a day. Imagine captaining, MoYo, YoYo, Boom Boom. Ok, don’t.
Denial Vettori no more.
For a day Vettori accepted the name given by his folks. Daniel. Mom, Dad, today I will be Daniel. I feel like Daniel today. I’ve been in Denial so long. It’s been sooooo long. He said, unfurling that big-long monstrous tongue. He looked just a bit hangdog, but that was more to do with his ice lolly tongue, Blistering Barnacles beard, sexy specks than his demeanour.
Vet knows when his day has come, we’ve been telling him for so long, if only we were him, and he was us, the Kiwis would’ve won more matches. But Vet was not always like this.
He was a selfish, number crunching accountant of a player. Either that, or he was damn myopic. The kind who can’t read the scoreboard when he’s sitting in it.
Deal with Vet – even in this article he is on the cusp between Denial and Daniel, which is why we don’t refer to him as either. Yeah, so the deal with Vet is, he looks like an animal, but he is also a Vet – so he knows the cure, and he is the disease. He is both. Hangdog, Top dog, captain, culprit, selector, geek, strong, weak.
He plays so many roles, the studios should give him a shot at Fu Man Chu, and Piggy Chops latest hop. He is not the man, he is the men. Many men at that.
So, here we are a repeating ourselves, (here, and here and here) but Vet is always 8 down. Of course, that is to do with the number of rounds the players buy him to stay in the team. And after 8 down, he packs up.
But Vet makes all those impressive scores at 8 down, 40, 70s, 50s, even 100s, they have great annoyance value, he plays you, and flays you through third man, and point, but really these are usually pointless innings.
For long I’ve felt he should bat before McCullum in tests, but we’ll save that for later.
Yesterday, Vet came so early, it seemed a little premature. The girls were worried, didn’t you see the look on that lady next to Ian O’ Brien.
But such was the deep understanding of beating the Pakis at their own ugly game – Younis Khan put his hands up, he knew, if you can’t beat this much ugly, join it. And MoYo too, looked at Vet’s beard and said, ‘Now that’s a beard I C…!’ Meanwhile, Malik was transfixed at Vet’s dragonesque tongue – how does he do it, mine pales in…
Only Afridi, who was too busy looking himself in another player’s eye, was unmoved. While Afridi practiced his next ballet move, Vet did a Balle Balle with the bat. It was crude, rustic and from the farmlands of Mahe and Dev D.
I almost expected Vet to hit the bottle, urinate on the wicket, and have the wet ball changed. He was capable of anything. But the animal inside stayed within, the Vet took over. It was a clinical performance.
