More »
Twenty-nine centuries and an average of over 53 in Tests. Where do you think Younis Khan figures in the list of Pakistan's batting greats? I think unrelenting Javed Miandad was the greatest that I've seen, he swung many a game, so did Inzamam-ul-Haq, a complete batsman in all senses. Mohammad Yousuf was perhaps one of the most technically sound batsmen they've ever had. The elegant stroke-making of Zaheer Abbas, one hears, made him a joy to watch. Younis makes it to the top-5 with the weight of sheer numbers and consistency. Saeed Anwar maybe just misses out on the top-5 despite his numerous match-winning knocks and effortless strokeplay.
Showing posts with label Mohammad Yousuf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mohammad Yousuf. Show all posts
Mohammad Yousuf's latest disappointment
"Mr Yousuf, I'm sorry, we don't provide cricket insurance"
Player Profile: Mohammad Yousuf
Once upon a time, he scored runs like he was stocking up for the off season. Made so many hundreds in that bumper harvest, appears some of his lesser colleagues approached him for a Run loan. This of course MoYo agreed to, but at such a high interest, that borrowing from MoYo would entail being in his run-debt for life.
MoYo has no friends, nor does he have any enemies; possibly because nobody knows who or what he is. Left to himself, he likes to field at third man. Possibly because MoYo is not his own man, he is his third man.
MoYo, Malik, Afridi, Asif send their best (and worst) wishes
 |
| Malik measuring the distance between him and the team, MoYo contemplating if he should retire for the night |
Shoaib Malik - Mix politics and cricket, players will be shaken and the fans will be stirred
MoYo: 2 years is long enough to retire for now
 |
| Afridi strikes a new angle to the pose |
Afridi: Boys should be confident...and blog only on T20 and one day cricket from now
Mohd. Asif: Detained in customs, can't make it for yr bored day party.
Ijaz Butt: On 2nd birthday...I offer myself to be the honorary president of BCC! for smooth sailing and professional governance...
-SP
Kamran Akmal : I might 'Drop' in for the Bored Day treat!
-Ankit Poddar
(we will add more birthday greetings from Pak players to BCC! as they trickle in)
Why has Mohammad Yousuf been picked instead of Younis Khan
 |
| MoYo's self deprecating sense of humour appealed to the PCB |
 |
| Specialist fielder for third man |
 |
| Shoaib Malik needed reinforcements for his destabilizing work |
 |
| The PCB's head of Typography had the final vote |
Who Wears The Pants In This Family?
So who decides if Pakistan needs a strong middle order? On cricinfo, they've taken pains to name all the people who were involved in that decision making meeting:
The PCB said in a statement that Kamran Akmal would be Butt's vice-captain for the Tests in England and that the matter concerning the inclusion of Younis Khan and Mohammad Yousuf in the team was also discussed at a meeting but was deferred.
Ijaz Butt, the PCB chairman, convened a meeting on Saturday involving the team management and senior players to discuss the way forward following Afridi's decision to retire from Tests. The meeting was attended by the team manager Yawar Saeed, coach Waqar Younis, associate manager Shafqat Rana, Salman Butt, Shoaib Malik, Kamran Akmal and Umar Gul.
Besides having one Butt too many in that meeting, there seems to be a peculiar mix of "senior" players in the meeting. I don't recall, what position did Shoaib Mirza bat at again in the previous test? Oh, thats right, they played a débutante ahead of him! As a "senior" player of considerable new "influence", his opinion on team harmony must have been crucial. This after a stats piece showed just how dependent the team is on a strong middle order. "matter deferred" it seems, at this rate soon your cricket will be "deferred" too Butthead...
Oye, welcome back you useless SOBs
If you were Younis Khan, MoYo, Shoaib Mailk, where would you be now?
One foot on Jacob's ladder
And one foot in the fire
And it all goes down in your mind
Living at the bottom of the stairs in your life
Never a smile knocking on your door
The air is blue and so are you
Prehistoric monsters on the floor
Last verse of your last song
And God don't hear dead men
The end of the line is in your mind
And you'll be staying in
Shahid Afridi's plea to seniors works
I get the feeling our senior players will listen to me
and return to play for Pakistan cricket very soon...
and return to play for Pakistan cricket very soon...
MoYo's Solution
I will be the bench strength so I don't have to use my brain strength
Mentally Retarded Pakistani Cricketers
Intikhab Alam - I felt that they are mentally retarded people. There is a mental problem with our players. They don't know how to wear their clothes and how to talk in a civilized manner.
The return of Shahid Bhai, Shahid Bhai - The Big Ban
INT. SHAHID BHAI'S DINING ROOM - DAY
Bent back, almost parallel to the ground, much like Quasimodo, Kreeper runs into Shahid Bhai’s household –
KREEPER
you not believe unbelieveables newsesShahid Bhai lunching, seated at the head of the table, surrounded by Fans with banners that read Boom Boom! + Afridi for PCB captain + Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! you’re 2 sexy and other assorted suck-ups. Behind Shahid Bhai is a babe, a hark back to the Mughal times – she is feeding him grapes..
SHAHID BHAI
(his lips move but say nothing)Subtitles: Grapes are sour, puss…
He spits a grape out for his pussy cat – and then throws a roti in Kreeper’s direction, who pounces dog-like at it
KREEPER
kinda like it haha dats what they say down underSHAHID BHAI
(his lips move but we can’t hear what he’s saying)KREEPER
like coach saying, am getting deaf touch, what you sayingSHAHID BHAI
(speechless)KREEPER
Younis Bhai is Younis bye and MoYo bhai is Moyo Bye too, I’m feeling retired hurtThe fans at the table start shouting for Shahid Bhai, flashing posters, howling, as if he is coming in to bat. Shahid Bhai gets up stylishly albeit slowly, spits another grape at puss, flicks his hair back, hurls another roti at Kreeper (which he pounces at). He stands in front of the window so the sunlight lights him up, he then poses like only he can, arms outstretched as if he’s taken another wicket. And then he breaks his silence
SHAHID BHAI
I am speechlessHis fans at the table go delirious.
Song: It’s bye bye Mr MoYo bhai…Bye bye Mr Younis bhai…and good old bhais were drinking risky and hai singing this will be the day that I’ll be banned…this will be the day that I will be banned!
BEARDS ‘n’ BRISTLES… in Cricket
The good old beard is subtly reemerging in international cricket.
Cricketer turned commentator Dean Jones lost his job by calling the devout South African Muslim Hashim Amla a “terrorist”, while several England fans sported fake beards during a Leeds Test to show their admiration for the Indian Origin Mudhsuden Singh (Monty) Panesar. Not long ago, Harbhajan (Bhajji) Singh was labelled a “patit” Sikh by the SGPC as he trimmed his beard. With his “Patka” (pseudo Turban) and next to no facial hair, Bhajji does look like a young lad… so leave him alone!
There always is some controversy or the other around beards and, as we know, these obviously come in umpteen variations – by true definition, the moment the man hasn’t shaved for more than a day, he is sporting a beard´… or shall we at least call it a bristle?!
And then, for men, there’s the women angle… as always.
Many women like facial hair but most don’t, so what do the cricketing wives/ girlfriends like about their men with beards ‘n’ bristles?
Now, now, I wonder: Does it actually tickle them between the legs when the batsmen come 1, 2, 3 or more down?
Virgin, long haired beards are supposed to be the softest but are they fashionable enough – do women want to be seen walking down Bond Street with a guy sporting one of these “Swamiji/ Guru Beards”?
On the other hand, the constantly shaven, short-haired variety of beards do get rather pokey (yeah, we men do know that too!) but is it this variety that women enjoy more? Are these beards chique [and as useful]?
Whatever, one thing is certain, in the post 9/11 world, the beard is somewhat controversial. Has it become a prominent religious symbol, perceived negatively by many just for that reason?
Pakistan’s Mohammad Yousuf grew one soon after his conversion from Christianity to Islam to underline his devotion for his new Faith. Earlier, his former teammates Saeed Anwar and Saqlain Mushtaq had also undergone such a facial metamorphosis.
Gong further back in time [because there really is a history of beards in cricket]:
There was a time when the beard epitomized Victorian splendour. W. G. Grace, the colossus of English cricket, was as popular for his brilliant game as for his long, bushy beard. Back in the 1890s, Australian speedster Ernest Jones once delivered a ball that went through Grace’s beard. The latter, not at all pleased, asked him, “What do you think you’re at, Jonah?” The apology was prompt: “Sorry, Doctor, she slipped.” One wonders what the burly Grace would have done to the other Jones (Dean) had the Aussie called him a terrorist?!
In Grace’s days, there were other bearded cricketers too, such as England’s Alfred Shaw and Australia’s Harry Boyle and George Bonner.
The beard virtually disappeared from cricket with the death of Grace in 1915. It resurfaced in the 1960s with the emergence of two of India’s finest spinners: Bishan Singh Bedi and Bhagwat Chandrasekhar, the latter lovingly called ‘Chandru’. However, it was in the next two decades when unshaven, rugged looks became trendy again. Several top cricketers grew a beard for a while not because of their religion but only to make a style statement.
England had Ian Botham, Mike Brearley and Mike Gatting, while for Australia there were Greg Chappell and Allan Border. The West Indian “beard brigade” included Andy Roberts, Michael Holding, Malcolm Marshall and Vivian Richards. Pakistan had Wasim Raja and Zaheer Abbas, while the Indian representative was Chetan Sharma (Sikhs Maninder Singh, Balwinder Sandhu and Navjot Sidhu kept a beard for obvious reasons).
In the 1990s, the clean-shaven “Gillette look” became more than predominant. Pacers Courtney Walsh and Curtley Ambrose, however, occasionally preferred to have a short beard. Among today’s Caribbean bowlers, Corey Collymore has kept the “tradition of beards” alive.
Today, Danniel Vettori sports a beard more often than not. Even the little master-blaster from Mumbai, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar always has a 3-day beard because it’s the only thing that makes him look his age!
In contemporary cricket, the beard or bristles are there to stay.
Credits:
We thank Vikramdeep Johal (The Tribune Chandigarh) for the idea. More was added to the article and it was re-edited by Ajoy Eric Lal.
Spare a thought for MoYo.
Life often has been unfair to MoYo, even when he captains a team that loses convincingly, nobody talks about him. It’s all Afridi’s fault, had he not bitten the ball, MoYo would have earned a public display of affection – a verbal flogging. Tongues would’ve lashed him, and the PCB high command would’ve hit new lows.
MoYo, the simple man that he is, would’ve gone in search of the holy grail, the ICL – with MoYo back, the ICL would’ve flourished again. Not to be.
Now the way things stand, MoYo will be back to third man. I was convinced he would captain from third man; he did, though only figuratively – he positioned himself at mid off, not quite the trenches, but close enough to the action.
You may ask, did he sport spectacles, wear a monocle, take out his binoculars – no, he didn’t. MoYo was at his myopic best. He batted in the scary-poo tradition of Shoaib Malik. Usually at 4, the one time he came in at 3, the side achieved something. No doubt a major blow for MoYo, how he likes to come in when the going gets tough.
What next for MoYo – there is an old league doing the rounds, it’s 20,000 leagues under the sea. Many people back home have been telling him, “Chulo bhar pani main doob mar” (go drown in a hand full of water). MoYo can take things literally.
Like when he was regarded as the best batsman in the world, he took it literally – once he started scoring he just couldn’t stop. Then when he overheard he was going through a bad patch, yeah, you get the drift.
Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! - The Pose
EXT. SYDNEY CRICKET GROUND – EVENING
(The Pakistani cricket team in a huddle after an Aussie wicket – SHAHID BHAI is posing, arms raised)
KREEPER
Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! Shabash!
MOYO
What Shabash! He wasn’t even on the field when that wicket fell.
YOUNIS
(Beaming)
Haha! Why are you posing Shahid Bhai?
SHAHID BHAI
To celebrate your return Younis bhai.
KREEPER
No! No! Tell serious, why you posing, Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai!
(Umpire HILLYBILLY appears gesticulating wildly)
HILLYBILLY
Time! You can’t keep my Aussie masters waiting.
SHAHID BHAI
Go masturbate with them.
(The Pak team is in splits, the huddle disintegrates but Shahid Bhai maintains his balance)
KREEPER
(through his laughter)
Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! Why you posing??
(The Pak team is still in a heap, while Shahid Bhai! And Hillybilly! Are having a posing war)
HILLYBILLY
(outrageous animal and bird poses, along with the usual cricket signals)
Your turn!
(Shahid Bhai maintains his pose)
HILLYBILLY
(more dumb charades)
I give up, what’s with that pose, Shahid Bhai!
SHAHID BHAI
Everyone says Pak cricket stinks…
(The Aussie batsmen, press, crowd, everybody gathers around )
SHAHID BHAI (CONT’D)
I just want to spread some joy with my deodorant!
KREEPER
(Taking a deep breath)
Nice scent Shahid Bhai! Sha…
SHAHID BHAI
I am the King of the world.
(Everybody around strikes Shahid Bhai's pose, arms outstretched,
they sing together)
they sing together)
Chorus:
We are the Kings of the world!
Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
