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Showing posts with label ShahRukh Khan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ShahRukh Khan. Show all posts
Shahrukh Khan will dance at Sahara weddings for generations to come (price of BCCI-Sahara peace)
Somewhere Sourav Ganguly linked up stardom, sports and weddings – his winning proposal to the Saharas, if SRK is so damn keen to dance for the BCCI, why not make him dance for you too? Translated from the Bengali – if SRK wants to negotiate on the BCCI’s behalf, make him dance for you.
Sourav and SRK go back some way, mostly 'my way or the highway'. What better than to make SRK dance; the Saharas pounced on the idea. He may not be Salman, but he’s still SRK. And he likes doing weddings.
Sourav sweetened the deal for both Sahara and himself: Make him dance for the next four generations of Sahara weddings, let me choose the dance mixes.
SRK who’s known to be fiercely loyal to his KKR franchise agreed on the condition that Dada dances with him to Korbo Lorbo Jeetbe Ro.
Dada who has a poor dancing record, last seen with Hrithik Roshan in the Hero ad, blurted out, “who me??”
Shoaib Akhtar’s Retirement Party
At an undisclosed night club, Shabby has his mates and the requisite female company. He has everyone seated, Kamran Akmal as is befitting a wicketkeeper such as him, is ordered to sit behind everyone.
Akhtar is poised to deliver his announcement, but he walks away, very much like his unending run-up, he walks on and on, exits the night club, crosses the street, and only turns in when he hits a dead end. It is then that he races in – water-sprayers are at hand to recreate the resplendent sweat spray from his crazy mane.
Running in he enters the nightclub, knocking out a bouncer at the door, and a hostess at the entry…he arrives in front of his mates and feigns one of his manic appeals. A sexy broad is at hand, dressed in an umpire mini outfit – she raises her finger.
More babes appear from every corner, start to throw themselves at Shabby who is in a trance of sorts. He glides through the dance floor as the babes chase him. Music kicks in. As too do replays of Shabby knocking over Dravid and Sachin at Eden, the replays are in a loop.
His mates look on zapped. Akmal claps on in customary clueless fashion. Afridi is making a random speech which is lost in the music. Younis has caught a few youngsters and is giving them catching practice with nips and pints. Umar Akmal has feigned injury, not participating.
Meanwhile Shoaib Akhtar is still doing his gig – though everything is still stuck in a loop. It is then that he slides in front of his mates, arms wide open –Kamran stomps ahead and is the first to hug, ruffle, make indecent contact.
And then through the night club a dark tall shadow with a bat appears. And whacks Akhtar’s leg with it – none other than Mohammad Asif it is.
Waqar and Wasim appear, with some Bollywood types – Akhtar rips his shirt and does an Item Number. Salman Khan makes a guest appearance.
The OSO OST plays. The place gets smoked out. Bob Woolmer’s voice …Talking about Shoaib as a genuine tearaway fast bowler, this is mixed with some random rap…OH YEAH! HE’S THE MAN, when the chips are down…
And then silence…Akhtar takes the microphone…
SHOAIB AKHTAR: HEY! Thanks, thanks…(reacting to taped applause) I love you too babe! (Reacting to a taped “I love you” from a babe)…It’s been a long journey… so many great moments guys…and babes…hey…I feel like Human sometimes…hey but mostly GOD…hey..Love you too!! But every great cricketer’s great journey gotta end and this is the time I gotta give the babes some attention…and Bollywood here I come…SRK do you hear me
(Cut to clips of SRK + Shoaib Akhtar from IPL, when Shabby lifted SRK n other mush)
SHOAIB AKHTAR: I coming man…I’ll be there, ROCKING! YAY, love you too man…(reacts to footage of SRK from one his films where he confesses Love)
Which is when Kakmal deems it right to suck up to Shabby
KAKMAL: Shoaib bhai, Shoaib bhai don’t go, please don’t go…
Akhtar strikes a John Travolta, and that silly song, “Baby please don’t go” starts to play
The entire Pakistani team breaks into Bollywood dance, but of course, in different groups, there is the Younis dance group, Misbah gang, Afridi beat poet’s band, and of course, Shoiab Akhtar going nuts by himself.
Which is when Sehwag walks in with Ranbir Kapoor, and they start doing that DAMN Pepsi Ad – worse, when they start to mimic Sehwag’s upper cut (blasphemously called the uppar cut)…there is footage from that damn 2003 World Cup, when Sehwag and Sachin upper-cutted Akhtar for six.
The Pakistanis are pissed. Shoaib shrugs…
SHOAIB AKTAR: Hey guys, be cool, they were the fucking sponsors
Akhtar is poised to deliver his announcement, but he walks away, very much like his unending run-up, he walks on and on, exits the night club, crosses the street, and only turns in when he hits a dead end. It is then that he races in – water-sprayers are at hand to recreate the resplendent sweat spray from his crazy mane.
Running in he enters the nightclub, knocking out a bouncer at the door, and a hostess at the entry…he arrives in front of his mates and feigns one of his manic appeals. A sexy broad is at hand, dressed in an umpire mini outfit – she raises her finger.
More babes appear from every corner, start to throw themselves at Shabby who is in a trance of sorts. He glides through the dance floor as the babes chase him. Music kicks in. As too do replays of Shabby knocking over Dravid and Sachin at Eden, the replays are in a loop.
His mates look on zapped. Akmal claps on in customary clueless fashion. Afridi is making a random speech which is lost in the music. Younis has caught a few youngsters and is giving them catching practice with nips and pints. Umar Akmal has feigned injury, not participating.
Meanwhile Shoaib Akhtar is still doing his gig – though everything is still stuck in a loop. It is then that he slides in front of his mates, arms wide open –Kamran stomps ahead and is the first to hug, ruffle, make indecent contact.
And then through the night club a dark tall shadow with a bat appears. And whacks Akhtar’s leg with it – none other than Mohammad Asif it is.
Waqar and Wasim appear, with some Bollywood types – Akhtar rips his shirt and does an Item Number. Salman Khan makes a guest appearance.
The OSO OST plays. The place gets smoked out. Bob Woolmer’s voice …Talking about Shoaib as a genuine tearaway fast bowler, this is mixed with some random rap…OH YEAH! HE’S THE MAN, when the chips are down…
And then silence…Akhtar takes the microphone…
SHOAIB AKHTAR: HEY! Thanks, thanks…(reacting to taped applause) I love you too babe! (Reacting to a taped “I love you” from a babe)…It’s been a long journey… so many great moments guys…and babes…hey…I feel like Human sometimes…hey but mostly GOD…hey..Love you too!! But every great cricketer’s great journey gotta end and this is the time I gotta give the babes some attention…and Bollywood here I come…SRK do you hear me
(Cut to clips of SRK + Shoaib Akhtar from IPL, when Shabby lifted SRK n other mush)
SHOAIB AKHTAR: I coming man…I’ll be there, ROCKING! YAY, love you too man…(reacts to footage of SRK from one his films where he confesses Love)
Which is when Kakmal deems it right to suck up to Shabby
KAKMAL: Shoaib bhai, Shoaib bhai don’t go, please don’t go…
Akhtar strikes a John Travolta, and that silly song, “Baby please don’t go” starts to play
The entire Pakistani team breaks into Bollywood dance, but of course, in different groups, there is the Younis dance group, Misbah gang, Afridi beat poet’s band, and of course, Shoiab Akhtar going nuts by himself.
Which is when Sehwag walks in with Ranbir Kapoor, and they start doing that DAMN Pepsi Ad – worse, when they start to mimic Sehwag’s upper cut (blasphemously called the uppar cut)…there is footage from that damn 2003 World Cup, when Sehwag and Sachin upper-cutted Akhtar for six.
The Pakistanis are pissed. Shoaib shrugs…
SHOAIB AKTAR: Hey guys, be cool, they were the fucking sponsors
Rumour...
Tracer bullet seems to be a thing of the past (for the next week or so, of course)
Taaank guod... Nu Raanjitt Frnaanduu !! (Saw how the hand trembles when you think of him and speaks the same way he does??)
No Elves minimum when things fly out of hand...
And no more listening to stupid stuff that equates Dhoni to King Arthur
This is all ok, but how about us missing our dear Kolkata Knight Riders ??
Ya, I know what you guys are thinking...
NO !! I am not talking about HIM... Mr Anon, after you drove some sense into my mind I swore I wouldn't.
This post is not about him
So what rumour ??
If my unconfirmed sources are to be believed, Sir Alex Ferguson might not have a job soon. The last nail in this coachie's coffin might be that sorry loss to Barcelona at Rome.
If that source should be believed our man of ManU flew straight to Mannat...
He might be the special one next year... Oops !! Am sorry Mr José Mourinho, I know you wouldn't like this... Sorry Sir.
Oops !! I am sorry Sir Alex, I know you wouldn't like that... For José is neither a commonwealth citizen nor a Knight...
Now you guys got the connection ??
He might takeover next year. For, he is looking for a change I'm told.
Dada beware !!
He threw a boot at Beckham... Keep the kitbag away when you go near him. Imagine the matter that covers Shoaib Aktar's warts hitting you...
You can't right ??
The Economics of Kolkata Knight Riders
Mashrafe Mortaza is not playing today, he has been dropped after that one over.
I was tempted to see what his contribution is, to the team and what the team' to him. So here is what I found.
a) Teams contribution to him $600,000
Bangladesh has a per capita income of $1,500. So this means one Mashrafe Mortaza is equal to 400 Bangladeshi'
b) His contribution to the team
He bowled all of 4 overs and gave away 58 runs without picking any wickets
Mashrafe's value per over - $150,000: This is equal to what 100 of his country men would be getting in an year
One year is 525,600 minutes, look at what our man got for every 8-9 minutes of contribution on the field. That makes it $16,667 per minute of his contribution
That is what 11 Bangladeshis would be earning for the whole year. He earns that in a minute
Well, one look makes me think that Sharukh Khan would have been better off hiring 400 Bangladeshi', than buying a Mortaza and keeping him in his team for trophy value (!!).
That would at least have given him some solid supporter base.
Shahrukh Khan Confirms Rumours Regarding his Sexuality
We all know that he's married to Gauri.
Recently, however, in the most shocking revelation of this century, SRK publicly announced that HE WILL SLEEP WITH EVERY MEMBER OF THE KOLKATA KNIGHT RIDERS SQUAD.
Don't believe me?
Check it out for yourself!
So Dada, Gayle, McCullum, Hussey Jr, Hodge, Agarkar, Dinda - they're all going to get lucky with SRK this season.
I wonder if Ponting knew about the offer.
Whose Milking Who?
I first posted this in the comments section of this post.
But then I thought it deserved a post of its own.
So with a few edits, here it is:
So what is the KKR support staff anyway?
1. John Buchanan - Director, Cricket Opetations
2. Joy Bhattacharya - Team Director
3. Andrew Leipus - Physio
4. Adrian Le Roux - Team Trainer
5. Matthew Mott - Assistant Head Coach
6. Micheal Buchanan - Strength Trainer
Why suggest that they are Buchanan's cronies?
Any head of anything would want to work with trusted lieutenants.
If NC were to become CEO, its pretty damn obvious that he would hire SP, myself, Som, and other bored members.
Its just how all companies and teams function.
So who else of Buchanan's cronies are there? And how can we be sure that SRK and Jai Mehta are being milked?
Maybe SRK has managed to strike a golden deal - Buy 1 get 5 FREE!
Take a look at Shane Warne's support staff for the Rajasthan Royals:
1. Darren Berry - Director of Coaching
2. Jeremy Snape - Performance Coach
3. John Gloster - Physio
4. Ron Castorina - Team Manager
5. Sushil Tulaskar - Assistan Team Manager
6. Derek Sedgmen - Head of Massage (What the fuck!?)
7. Monty Desai - Coach, Development Squad
8. Satish Samant - Coach, Development Squad
9. Saurabh Walker - Performance Analyst
10. Reuben Niekerk - Manager, Security
11. Zaheer Ahmed - Manager, baggage
12. Pankaj Aditya - Assistant Masseur
Now if my maths is correct that is twice as many as KKR have.
This is the same Shane Warne who said "a coach is bullshit!".
Well he didn't say that but something like that.
So should we assume that Warne is milking Emerging Media and Shilpa Shetty?
Well I'm sure he'd love to milk Shetty but surely that is not going to happen. She's getting married to that Kundra dude!
So guys, Gavasker needs to chill the fuck out.
the debate goes on...
we have been hearing this debate for ages...
so if for once we put nationality aside
and think purely as cricket fanatics...
who is the better batsman?
so if for once we put nationality aside
and think purely as cricket fanatics...
who is the better batsman?
sachin or lara
---x---
my take...
never a man of great words...
so allow me to compare with
shahrukh khan and aamir khan analogy...
to drive home the point...
sharukh undisputed king of bollywood...and box office...
my take...
never a man of great words...
so allow me to compare with
shahrukh khan and aamir khan analogy...
to drive home the point...
sharukh undisputed king of bollywood...and box office...
aamir...better actor...
more meaningful films in his kitty...
which were equally successful...
more meaningful films in his kitty...
which were equally successful...
whats your take?
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