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India vs Pakistan vs You vs The Voices In Your Head (World Cup Semis, Live with the Bored Members) - Welcome to KIRKITISTAN.
Early Bored Call: Too close to call, mind says India, mindlessness says Pakistan, and the heart, wadaya think it says
By the sound of it, Akmal will continue to play in this World Cup, and at some point there should be an India-Pak game. Don't you just know, man. I reckon Akmal will play that game – 4 out of his 6 test hundreds are against us, remember Karachi? That innings had teeth.
My gut says, Kamran Akaml will decide that India game. Remains to be seen, who he plays for that day. (From March 9, after Akmal dropped Ross Taylor twice on his birthday)
Pre-Mohali Medical Checkup
"Going by evidence, by match time
they will be big fat fluttering butterflies..."
they will be big fat fluttering butterflies..."
Sri Lanka vs New Zealand World Cup Semi Finals (Live with the Bored Members)
Politics enter India Pakistan semifinals
"Where's the proof Pakistan infiltrated
the World Cup semifinals in India?!"
the World Cup semifinals in India?!"
5 reasons why we will see India playing the finals
1. Finally they have started to know their responsibilities and play well as a team (we saw that in the QF)… Now it is the added responsibility of the ICC and BCCI that it ends well too
2. Pakistan might play Akhtar... And a good part of the team wouldn’t want to win the match because that will mean Akhtar would leave on a high… Above all, Misbah wants him to play when Afridi doesn’t want to play him… So Afridi might just play him and not let him play his play… So they are a big mess
3. Dhoni has to get his opportunity to justify, “See I told you how good the team is, you guys didn’t believe us, but we believed in ourselves and the belief has paid off… And of course you now know how good captaincy was, how important it was for winning and how the bowlers, batsmen and fielders have to improve and play for the team rather than playing to the gallery… And, thank you Sachin for presenting us this opportunity”
4. You have the IPL coming and you don’t want the Indian public to shut themselves off… Stone the lovely properties of our cricketers, defecate in their backyards, avoid the lathi charging police in the stadium & spoil the fun and stop the big money flowing
5. BCCI wouldn’t want Modi tweeting, “See, those morons can’t even get their team play a final”
2. Pakistan might play Akhtar... And a good part of the team wouldn’t want to win the match because that will mean Akhtar would leave on a high… Above all, Misbah wants him to play when Afridi doesn’t want to play him… So Afridi might just play him and not let him play his play… So they are a big mess
3. Dhoni has to get his opportunity to justify, “See I told you how good the team is, you guys didn’t believe us, but we believed in ourselves and the belief has paid off… And of course you now know how good captaincy was, how important it was for winning and how the bowlers, batsmen and fielders have to improve and play for the team rather than playing to the gallery… And, thank you Sachin for presenting us this opportunity”
4. You have the IPL coming and you don’t want the Indian public to shut themselves off… Stone the lovely properties of our cricketers, defecate in their backyards, avoid the lathi charging police in the stadium & spoil the fun and stop the big money flowing
5. BCCI wouldn’t want Modi tweeting, “See, those morons can’t even get their team play a final”
Mohali is calling moi
MO-HA-LI is calling
With the lights wide open
And the nights wide open
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
On the edge of
some desert western town
is the town's pride
MO-HA-LI is calling
On the edge of the fourth day
On the edge of some western town
is the Town's Pride hotel
so close to gate no. 5
that old man can walk right in
be in before the gates are open
and the lights are off
just to stand in the centre
like some old baseball pro
soak it in, soak it in
MO-HA-LI is calling
on the edge of the fourth day
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
you better go boy
you better go boy
Can't take no for an answer
drive in that yellow new mitsubushi lancer
And the road winds around
And the eyes round around
You get a first sighter
on the edge of town
You get a first sighter
On the edge of the fourth day
there is nothing to play for
there is so much to play for
the win already happened
the win never happened
MO-HA-LI MO-HA-LI is calling moi
And i soar above my seat
like a wave from M0-HI-CO
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
(written on victory eve here, when India beat Australia in Mohali, reposted, after we beat them again and booked the Mohali ticket - Mohali is calling most Indians, pity it doesn't seat that many)
With the lights wide open
And the nights wide open
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
On the edge of
some desert western town
is the town's pride
MO-HA-LI is calling
On the edge of the fourth day
On the edge of some western town
is the Town's Pride hotel
so close to gate no. 5
that old man can walk right in
be in before the gates are open
and the lights are off
just to stand in the centre
like some old baseball pro
soak it in, soak it in
MO-HA-LI is calling
on the edge of the fourth day
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
you better go boy
you better go boy
Can't take no for an answer
drive in that yellow new mitsubushi lancer
And the road winds around
And the eyes round around
You get a first sighter
on the edge of town
You get a first sighter
On the edge of the fourth day
there is nothing to play for
there is so much to play for
the win already happened
the win never happened
MO-HA-LI MO-HA-LI is calling moi
And i soar above my seat
like a wave from M0-HI-CO
MO-HA-LI is calling moi
(written on victory eve here, when India beat Australia in Mohali, reposted, after we beat them again and booked the Mohali ticket - Mohali is calling most Indians, pity it doesn't seat that many)
India vs Australia (or Wannabes vs Hasbeens)
Join the Bored Members for another Teri Maa Ki! session, Ind vs Aus, 2:00 pm onwards
Early Bored Call: Awaited
Happy Bored Day: Dean Jones (off air version)
Pakistan vs. Pakistan, co-starring West Indies.
Join a dirty two dozen Bored Members' tweets for the first quarter finals, Pak vs West Indies, it seems.
Early Bored Call: Everyone says Pakistan so we'll go with the Windies. For now.
Happy Bored Day: Lady Michael Atherton
Follow us @BoredCricket on twitter and Know Quarter
Yuvi! Yuvi! Yuvi!
by Gireesh + NC
Gireesh Subramaniam is an entrepreneur, engineer and Sachin devotee. You can find him on www.warmbluke.com and on twitter @girsubra
Shoaib Akhtar’s Retirement Party
At an undisclosed night club, Shabby has his mates and the requisite female company. He has everyone seated, Kamran Akmal as is befitting a wicketkeeper such as him, is ordered to sit behind everyone.
Akhtar is poised to deliver his announcement, but he walks away, very much like his unending run-up, he walks on and on, exits the night club, crosses the street, and only turns in when he hits a dead end. It is then that he races in – water-sprayers are at hand to recreate the resplendent sweat spray from his crazy mane.
Running in he enters the nightclub, knocking out a bouncer at the door, and a hostess at the entry…he arrives in front of his mates and feigns one of his manic appeals. A sexy broad is at hand, dressed in an umpire mini outfit – she raises her finger.
More babes appear from every corner, start to throw themselves at Shabby who is in a trance of sorts. He glides through the dance floor as the babes chase him. Music kicks in. As too do replays of Shabby knocking over Dravid and Sachin at Eden, the replays are in a loop.
His mates look on zapped. Akmal claps on in customary clueless fashion. Afridi is making a random speech which is lost in the music. Younis has caught a few youngsters and is giving them catching practice with nips and pints. Umar Akmal has feigned injury, not participating.
Meanwhile Shoaib Akhtar is still doing his gig – though everything is still stuck in a loop. It is then that he slides in front of his mates, arms wide open –Kamran stomps ahead and is the first to hug, ruffle, make indecent contact.
And then through the night club a dark tall shadow with a bat appears. And whacks Akhtar’s leg with it – none other than Mohammad Asif it is.
Waqar and Wasim appear, with some Bollywood types – Akhtar rips his shirt and does an Item Number. Salman Khan makes a guest appearance.
The OSO OST plays. The place gets smoked out. Bob Woolmer’s voice …Talking about Shoaib as a genuine tearaway fast bowler, this is mixed with some random rap…OH YEAH! HE’S THE MAN, when the chips are down…
And then silence…Akhtar takes the microphone…
SHOAIB AKHTAR: HEY! Thanks, thanks…(reacting to taped applause) I love you too babe! (Reacting to a taped “I love you” from a babe)…It’s been a long journey… so many great moments guys…and babes…hey…I feel like Human sometimes…hey but mostly GOD…hey..Love you too!! But every great cricketer’s great journey gotta end and this is the time I gotta give the babes some attention…and Bollywood here I come…SRK do you hear me
(Cut to clips of SRK + Shoaib Akhtar from IPL, when Shabby lifted SRK n other mush)
SHOAIB AKHTAR: I coming man…I’ll be there, ROCKING! YAY, love you too man…(reacts to footage of SRK from one his films where he confesses Love)
Which is when Kakmal deems it right to suck up to Shabby
KAKMAL: Shoaib bhai, Shoaib bhai don’t go, please don’t go…
Akhtar strikes a John Travolta, and that silly song, “Baby please don’t go” starts to play
The entire Pakistani team breaks into Bollywood dance, but of course, in different groups, there is the Younis dance group, Misbah gang, Afridi beat poet’s band, and of course, Shoiab Akhtar going nuts by himself.
Which is when Sehwag walks in with Ranbir Kapoor, and they start doing that DAMN Pepsi Ad – worse, when they start to mimic Sehwag’s upper cut (blasphemously called the uppar cut)…there is footage from that damn 2003 World Cup, when Sehwag and Sachin upper-cutted Akhtar for six.
The Pakistanis are pissed. Shoaib shrugs…
SHOAIB AKTAR: Hey guys, be cool, they were the fucking sponsors
Akhtar is poised to deliver his announcement, but he walks away, very much like his unending run-up, he walks on and on, exits the night club, crosses the street, and only turns in when he hits a dead end. It is then that he races in – water-sprayers are at hand to recreate the resplendent sweat spray from his crazy mane.
Running in he enters the nightclub, knocking out a bouncer at the door, and a hostess at the entry…he arrives in front of his mates and feigns one of his manic appeals. A sexy broad is at hand, dressed in an umpire mini outfit – she raises her finger.
More babes appear from every corner, start to throw themselves at Shabby who is in a trance of sorts. He glides through the dance floor as the babes chase him. Music kicks in. As too do replays of Shabby knocking over Dravid and Sachin at Eden, the replays are in a loop.
His mates look on zapped. Akmal claps on in customary clueless fashion. Afridi is making a random speech which is lost in the music. Younis has caught a few youngsters and is giving them catching practice with nips and pints. Umar Akmal has feigned injury, not participating.
Meanwhile Shoaib Akhtar is still doing his gig – though everything is still stuck in a loop. It is then that he slides in front of his mates, arms wide open –Kamran stomps ahead and is the first to hug, ruffle, make indecent contact.
And then through the night club a dark tall shadow with a bat appears. And whacks Akhtar’s leg with it – none other than Mohammad Asif it is.
Waqar and Wasim appear, with some Bollywood types – Akhtar rips his shirt and does an Item Number. Salman Khan makes a guest appearance.
The OSO OST plays. The place gets smoked out. Bob Woolmer’s voice …Talking about Shoaib as a genuine tearaway fast bowler, this is mixed with some random rap…OH YEAH! HE’S THE MAN, when the chips are down…
And then silence…Akhtar takes the microphone…
SHOAIB AKHTAR: HEY! Thanks, thanks…(reacting to taped applause) I love you too babe! (Reacting to a taped “I love you” from a babe)…It’s been a long journey… so many great moments guys…and babes…hey…I feel like Human sometimes…hey but mostly GOD…hey..Love you too!! But every great cricketer’s great journey gotta end and this is the time I gotta give the babes some attention…and Bollywood here I come…SRK do you hear me
(Cut to clips of SRK + Shoaib Akhtar from IPL, when Shabby lifted SRK n other mush)
SHOAIB AKHTAR: I coming man…I’ll be there, ROCKING! YAY, love you too man…(reacts to footage of SRK from one his films where he confesses Love)
Which is when Kakmal deems it right to suck up to Shabby
KAKMAL: Shoaib bhai, Shoaib bhai don’t go, please don’t go…
Akhtar strikes a John Travolta, and that silly song, “Baby please don’t go” starts to play
The entire Pakistani team breaks into Bollywood dance, but of course, in different groups, there is the Younis dance group, Misbah gang, Afridi beat poet’s band, and of course, Shoiab Akhtar going nuts by himself.
Which is when Sehwag walks in with Ranbir Kapoor, and they start doing that DAMN Pepsi Ad – worse, when they start to mimic Sehwag’s upper cut (blasphemously called the uppar cut)…there is footage from that damn 2003 World Cup, when Sehwag and Sachin upper-cutted Akhtar for six.
The Pakistanis are pissed. Shoaib shrugs…
SHOAIB AKTAR: Hey guys, be cool, they were the fucking sponsors
Who did the 2011 World Cup Format Protect?
Ever since the ICC announced the format for the 2011 Cricket World Cup, I found that a majority of English and Aussie bloggers and newspaper writers and former players have pounced upon BCCI's evil influence to create a format designed to ensure "India is not knocked out in the first round". They are, ofcourse, referring to the 2007 World Cup where India, indeed get knocked out.
Yet, does it protect only India? Does it not equally protect every other major nation? I have been pointing out in vain that the format is designd to protect all major nations,and it is a cynical, belly-burning exercise to keep pointing at India. And how I have been vindicated.
Let's assume we had the 2007 format. Further assume one of the 4 member groups had India, England, Netherlands and Bangladesh, here's how the points table will lool like:
India - 5 Points
Bangladesh - 4
England - 3
Netherlands - 0
In other words, England would already have been knocked out instead of sneaking through to Quarter Finals, as they are bound to now, and then ride their luck to a Cup win or atleast a Semi Final place!
In 2007, it was a freak occurence in the toughest groups - Ireland and Bangladesh being the best minnows, they were best placed to upset and they did. What if Bangladesh had been in South Africa's group in 2007? Bangla did beat SA in 2007, right? What if it had been in the group stage instead of Super-8? Would the same India haters be crying about the format being changed to protect South Africa? Ofcourse, not! That format gave too much leverage to one upset win and deserved to be changed - and this is why:
This is a good England team that can go on to win the World Cup. It would have been a travesty if they had been penalised for their freak loss to Ireland. If it had been the 2007 format, England would have been knocked out already.
I dont find Indian bloggers gleefully knocking England for this yet a whole lot of Foreign media writers and former playerr and bloggers still keep parroting the "format designed to protect India" line. Goes to show who real cricket fans are and who are blinded by hate.
So, who did the 2011 World Cup format protect? India? Answer that, my dear India-hating bloggers and newspaper writers and former players!
EDIT: There's a delicious irony as a corollary to this which I just realised - imagine this, WI beat India and England beat West Indies and Bangla beat Saffers, then India might be out of the Cup depending on runrate - and they would be already through if we had the 2007 format! Talk about the best laid plans of men and mICCe :lol:
Ashish Nehra's extreme measures:
"hehe...you got the wrong guy...
I'm not this Nehra guy you keep calling me"
Dhoni+Sachin play
To get their mind off the loss to South Africa, Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Sachin Tendulkar indulge in a game of scrabble.
Its Dhoni's turn...
Its Dhoni's turn...
by Golandaaz
First posted on his blog, Opinions On Cricket , follow him on twitter, http://twitter.com/oponcr
Come again, what did MS Dhoni say about crowd and country?
I ditched Nirula’s stink, seeking lunch at Anapurna. Obscured by the mithai station, two guys were talking about how Bhajji should have bowled. Is there anyone on earth, other than MSD and Bhajji who thinks Bhajji should not have bowled?
I snacked and slammed MSD, you gotta get it out somewhere. I’m gonna tell you what I told them – MSD and Bhajji collectively chickened out. This is not the first time, over the last year or so, it’s always the other specialist spinner (if there is one) who bowls the powerplays – I have seen Amit Mishra and Ashwin bowl in the power plays, hardly Bhajji. Bhajji has been shielded through both bad form and the power plays. In the meantime, Ojha and Mishra have been eliminated, now Chawla, and soon Ashwin.
That last over could have cost Bhajji – instead of a ‘I hate Ashish Nehra” facebook page, it could have been ‘I hate Bhajji’ page. That is what decided the last over. Nehra is expendable, Bhajji is Indian cricket’s expense account.
Yes he bats, I'll give him that gladly. But the only reason Bhajji’s 5 were in the bank till the 40th were that he was gonna bowl out till the death – the 49th or 50th over, and he was not ripped into either, why didn’t you bowl Bhajji, MS? Good luck with the answer, be easier opening Dravid’s mouth on the Chappell years.
Post-match what MS did say was “You don’t play for the crowd, you play for country” – Screw the grey areas here, and let’s be as Black & White as MS is. Who are the players, given their approach and mindset, more prone to play for country –
I know we’re bordering on the ridiculous here, but the way I break this statement down is, who are the hitters or luppe wallahs, and who are the guys who can hold back and taste the moment – from whatever I’ve seen, Sachin, Gambhir, Kohli, and to a lesser extent, Dhoni are the guys who can play in different gears, they can, and have, more often than the others, not been sucked in by the crowds.
Yet, what does MS do – after Gambhir, it’s Yusuf, Yuvraj, MSD and then Kohli. MS, you fucked up bigtime, get off your political high horse, and let the guys play cricket.
In hindsight, 296 should have been a lot easier to chase. But much as I’ve stuck it into MS here, he was captain enough to somehow push it to the 50th. In spite of this match, he’s still the best guy to captain India now, and it’s not all luck. It’s politics, and that can be a positive at times. But just wasn’t this time. Both he and Bhajji need to grow up, there’s a home advantage, and it’s not going anywhere.
India vs South Africa: Live with the Bored Members
Even though it's an ODI, these two teams will battle for the No. 1 test ranking. Only, this time around, India doesn't have the home advantage of South African pitches. Zulu, clear that front leg, and tell us what exactly happened between you and Smith.
Early Bored Call: India
Happy Bored Day: Vijay Mehra
With Every Passing Day, That Dreaded Question Approaches
"But what will you do now, Sachin?"
O' Bangladesh, what have you done to England
India’s first game in the world cup, against Bangladesh, in Mirpur, with ‘we know what you did last World Cup’ reminders stinking up their nostrils. In spite of a bloated score, Bangladesh pushed, and pushed so damn hard, like they were delivering their next cricketing baby. About time too, Ashraful is yesterday’s papers, Shakib, an old headline, Tamim, he’s on the verge of being Ashrafulled.
But I want to follow Bangladesh, in spite of what they cannot be. They beat Ireland when I hoped the cricketing hierarchy will go awry and beat Bangladesh instead. Then I hoped they will push the Windies, if not beat them, but they got 58ed. That was take-a-deep-breath time for well-wishing neutrals, so for the locals it was don’t aim, just shoot.
And here we are, Bangladesh vs. the side that should be taken lightly. England look heavy, as they play their opponents with the knowledge that they know some deep dirty secret about their royally fucked past.
Strauss is stuck with the inept Prior again, bad enough having him behind the wickets, add to that, top of the order. Screwed both ways you are, who else is there – Swann can’t open possibly? OK, but he can bat before Collingwood, who they don’t want, but some years around could make Bangladesh take us seriously?
England slept through their batting, I took a nap too. If the Poms had a chance, even they won’t watch themselves bat. It’s tricky when Trott is your batting fulcrum.
But Bangladesh, today, they wanted to believe again, that they can play, snap themselves from the last bad game. And that’s how the chase started, Tamim knifed through the bowling, Kayes meditated. There was so much cool going it had to end badly, some rock star cut short in his prime.
Much after Tamim, a tiny collapse, and then a much bigger one, you’re at 169/8. And I ask myself, why did they not play Mahmudullah in the previous game, why don’t they always play him? Even though we went with England on the Early Bored Call today, I had a vision, today was gonna be Mahmudullah’s day. Of course, I also thought that Shehzad and Bresnan were gonna run through them, and after that, Anderson was gonna lose it for England. You can follow BoredCricket on twitter, it’s all there.
And really, it’s not about any of these guys, it’s really Shafiul Islam – in at 10, 24/24, the 4s, even a 6, born on 6th October like me, but more than that, the clarity to defend in between, he was the guy of the game, Kayes will always be the man of the match. Come, let’s embrace Shafiul Islam.
BCCI Merchandise
As for stuff from Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!), we’re on to it. What do you want – boxer shorts that say Bored Member?
'What was the bowler shining his ball(s) thinking' contest winner
Golandaaz got into the bowler's head and balls, his winning line "I need a change in balls, this one is not reversing" gets into the blurb.
You can read Golandaaz's opinions at his blog, Opinions On Cricket and on twitter, http://twitter.com/oponcr
Bresnan's Ballsy Review
Tim Bresnan's attempt to get his dismissal overturned must rank as one of the silliest DRS appeals yet. Clutching at straws had nothing on this. More proof, if it was needed, that that eternally pampered creature, the batsman, has found more ways to throw a tantrum, that the DRS is far too often, not used to correct wrong decisions, but to merely check, in hope, if some mistake can be found under the lens,
Kamran Akmal vs. India
Be glad you are not Pakistani. Being Indian meant you could still laugh and hurl random abuse at Akmal today. First he saw off an edge like his little girl to school – it bisected Younis, the other parent and Akmal, as they nodded their parental approvals to each other. If they were cast in Darth Vader gear their immobility could be excused, but keeper, first slip, in their country’s greens, what was that about, say it in the finest Anglo-Punjabi bemused Waqar Younis accent.
Then, Rose aka Ross Taylor edged another one in the same over, easy come, easy go, little high, little low, in and out of Akmal’s gloves, how does he do it? How does he cling on to the gloves?
When the runaway keeper Zul Haider made the team, it was obvious he was only marking time. Haider disappeared with his fb updates, got banned, a third Akmal appeared, 3 more guys got banned, and we’re now back to the first Akmal.
It was meant to be. Now let’s assume Akmal is innocent, and just an ass with the gloves. Does that earn him a spot in the team – for long, the cricketing argument has been his batting - 5 ODI 100s, 9 50s, average 27, strike rate 84. He’s already played 9 years, 133 ODI’s with the same ineptness, how does he do it?
By the sound of it, Akmal will continue to play in this World Cup, and at some point there should be an India-Pak game. Don't you just know, man. I reckon Akmal will play that game – 4 out of his 6 test hundreds are against us, remember Karachi? That innings had teeth.
My gut says, Kamran Akaml will decide that India game. Remains to be seen, who he plays for that day.
Then, Rose aka Ross Taylor edged another one in the same over, easy come, easy go, little high, little low, in and out of Akmal’s gloves, how does he do it? How does he cling on to the gloves?
When the runaway keeper Zul Haider made the team, it was obvious he was only marking time. Haider disappeared with his fb updates, got banned, a third Akmal appeared, 3 more guys got banned, and we’re now back to the first Akmal.
It was meant to be. Now let’s assume Akmal is innocent, and just an ass with the gloves. Does that earn him a spot in the team – for long, the cricketing argument has been his batting - 5 ODI 100s, 9 50s, average 27, strike rate 84. He’s already played 9 years, 133 ODI’s with the same ineptness, how does he do it?
By the sound of it, Akmal will continue to play in this World Cup, and at some point there should be an India-Pak game. Don't you just know, man. I reckon Akmal will play that game – 4 out of his 6 test hundreds are against us, remember Karachi? That innings had teeth.
My gut says, Kamran Akaml will decide that India game. Remains to be seen, who he plays for that day.
Back To School for U(niversity)DRS
An annoyed ICC thought MSD had his understanding of the DRS rules miles off target and his mouth open something like 2.5 m too wide. So the good folks there have gone ahead and complicated them even further. The relevant rule is now something like this :
If the ball pitches 2.5 m or more in front of the stumps and the distance covered by the ball between pitching and hitting the pads is 40 cm and the sine of the angle between the two as a factor of the cosine within 3 standard deviations of the tangent times pi such that relative velocity is maintained with an alpha coefficient of 0.3 and a cosmic constant of 0.297 on the log scale ceteris paribus , then the decision will be based on a combination of extrapolated determinants drawn from the relevant probability distribution and chi-square analysis.
Any wonder then that the very young and even more talented Mhd. Aamer has decided to go back to school for a , er , spot of education ? A literary-minded old wag was moved to quip the following lines - in quite poor taste one must add :
"O' young rookie !
Thou goest , as it looks
From your bookies
To your books"
Good luck Aamer , be back on the cricket field soon. We need you in the school of international cricket.
From which it appears young K.Akmal could be close to dropping out.
What was the bowler shining his ball(s) thinking?
Bored Members of Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) + their families can play.
Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) is not responsible for comments lost while posting.
The bowler will sign a shinny ball with the winning blurb comment.
(Mention of the world cup won't hurt)
India vs Ireland Live. (Rolling Stones included)
Follow the Bored Members' tweets during the game and any bus stoning after that.
The Afridi Encore.
The least I need is half a bottle of wine to connect with Afridi and the manic yet studied beauty of his X-poses - Legs apart, arms up, apart, the near perfect X, and every time he strikes it, he beams and I laugh. I believe, he too is on the verge of a laugh, that the poses are part of a well-scripted filmi tale out of Lollywood.
Much as I wanted, I didn’t expect Afridi to survive the World Cup. There were far too many forces aligned against him, him included. Almost expected him to resign from one day cricket after a failed World Cup. Instead, he’s licked Lanka, two babes, pocketed wickets, raised the bar and his arms.
Afridi brings the spark into a long, repetitive tournament – when the going’s tough, the team doesn’t appear connected to either him or themselves, but once the Afridi show starts, the team are his boys, they want a tug at his shirt, a feel of his flesh – they want to be in contact with the spark. They who were not alive, feel almost blessed to be in such company. Even the seniors can’t help themselves, as they sniff some of his success.
Batting at 7, bowling when he wants, Afridi as captain has relieved himself of thinking about his batting. But as a bowler he has 10 overs, 60 balls - where he can toss his wares, hurl his medium pacers, or whatever it is he bowls, because by the look of it, not many are clued on.
Afridi will continue to bat as the gifted tailender, a few fours, the odd six, and then one day, he may just fancy himself to come in early when the going’s good, and blast the score to an unreachable total. Knowledge of that option gives him the extra leeway, that if he wants, like in the T20 World Cup finals, he can have a shot at some more World Cup immortality.
But before that, it’s the bowling – and by the time Pak plays in the quarters, Afridi would have fed his batting on enough bowling points to feel anything’s possible.
Ideally for Pak, a knockout against India, when he chooses to go nuts batting up the order. Here’s to blasts from the pasts, brain fades, and the cocktail called Shahid Afridi.
Who the fuck is Kevin O'Brien?
I returned to driveway cricket with a bouncier tennis ball, offered the voluntary wicketkeeper a bat but he wanted to bowl instead. I was sure, and said so to Roop that a beamer was coming my way – adding “this guy is gonna take my head”. Not a beamer but from hardly any run-up and a fullish length, the ball spat at me and nearly took my left eye out. “An Irish airman foresees his death” were my last words at the game.
Later in Saket at the big-screen, Ireland 167/5. Packed the game, ate out, and very surprised to see a Live sign under Star Cricket at the Coffee bean. Then the score, 6 down, 7 overs to go, who the fuck is Kevin O’Brien, how did he make a hundred of 50 balls? Games like this you need ready-made company, and I manufactured one from nowhere. He wasn’t English, that helped.
Even though I missed out on O’Brien’s 100, being there, Live, to watch Ireland beat England was the real deal. Even when O’Brien ran himself out, it was the sight of Johnston that made my day – guys like him are born to seal matches like this. They make you take sides, talk dirty, get rowdy about the game.
For me, Johnston has always been the face of Irish cricket. He is the butcher from the gangs of New York, and other unmentionable groups. He is there to pronounce justice, to look the English in the eye, and tell them, 'you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting'. And then grate his teeth with a sadistic grin.
Coming to my earlier question: who the fuck in Kevin O’Brien? I didn’t know of him before today, I doubt many outside Ireland and the British Iles did either. He’s 27 tomorrow, bats at 6, has played 54 ODIs, averages a shade over 36, strike rate 78 –of his 54 ODI’s he’s played more than forty against associate members, Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. His highest score 142 (125) was against Kenya, this is his only other ODI century, and here too, he was run-out. Before this, his only half century against a non-associate nation (inc Zim) was against the West Indies.
(Did you know that in addition to Kevin O’Brien’s brother, Niall O’Brien, who keeps wickets for Ireland, their father, Ginger 0’Brien and and sister, Ciara 0’Brien have all played professional cricket. Thankfully for India, only the two brothers will take the field on Sunday.)
Later in Saket at the big-screen, Ireland 167/5. Packed the game, ate out, and very surprised to see a Live sign under Star Cricket at the Coffee bean. Then the score, 6 down, 7 overs to go, who the fuck is Kevin O’Brien, how did he make a hundred of 50 balls? Games like this you need ready-made company, and I manufactured one from nowhere. He wasn’t English, that helped.
Even though I missed out on O’Brien’s 100, being there, Live, to watch Ireland beat England was the real deal. Even when O’Brien ran himself out, it was the sight of Johnston that made my day – guys like him are born to seal matches like this. They make you take sides, talk dirty, get rowdy about the game.
For me, Johnston has always been the face of Irish cricket. He is the butcher from the gangs of New York, and other unmentionable groups. He is there to pronounce justice, to look the English in the eye, and tell them, 'you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting'. And then grate his teeth with a sadistic grin.
Coming to my earlier question: who the fuck in Kevin O’Brien? I didn’t know of him before today, I doubt many outside Ireland and the British Iles did either. He’s 27 tomorrow, bats at 6, has played 54 ODIs, averages a shade over 36, strike rate 78 –of his 54 ODI’s he’s played more than forty against associate members, Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. His highest score 142 (125) was against Kenya, this is his only other ODI century, and here too, he was run-out. Before this, his only half century against a non-associate nation (inc Zim) was against the West Indies.
(Did you know that in addition to Kevin O’Brien’s brother, Niall O’Brien, who keeps wickets for Ireland, their father, Ginger 0’Brien and and sister, Ciara 0’Brien have all played professional cricket. Thankfully for India, only the two brothers will take the field on Sunday.)
Let's look at Steve Davies' numbers, not his sexuality.
Steve Davies made his ODI debut on Gandhi’s birthday in 2009. He batted in the middle order at 6, and even though he had an unremarkable start, he scored 5 off 4, and was dismissed by none other than Shane Watson, Man of the Match. It was close to a year later that Davies played his 2nd ODI against Pakistan, opened the batting, 87 off 67, Man of the Match. Followed that with quickies 26(21), 18 (18), 49 (61), 17(19) against Pak, all opening with Herr Strauss – partnerships of 78, 43, 35, 113, 31.
Next Davies played the first ODI against Australia, 42 (35), missed out on the next 5 games, joined Strauss for a duck a piece in the last game. So far in 8 ODIs, Davies averages 30.5, strike rate 105.62, keeps wickets, opens the batting and is gay.
For games 2-6, Prior opened and scored 0(3), 0(3), some consistency, 67(58), 14(15), 18(23) where England failed to defend 333, 5-1 down in the series, they dropped Prior and played Davies for the last match.
Prior has played 63 ODIs to Davies’ 8 – he averages 24.65 at a strike rate of 76, and has won 3 Man of the match awards so far.
In this world cup, neither Prior nor Davies is opening the batting, Davies can’t because he’s not in the squad. Prior didn’t bat against Holland, against India, he was gone with the wind, 4(8).
Give it time, you will have far more cricketing reasons to like Steve Davies. For now, how about going to his cricinfo page and pressing on the Like button. If he could, surely you can come out and do that much.
Next Davies played the first ODI against Australia, 42 (35), missed out on the next 5 games, joined Strauss for a duck a piece in the last game. So far in 8 ODIs, Davies averages 30.5, strike rate 105.62, keeps wickets, opens the batting and is gay.
For games 2-6, Prior opened and scored 0(3), 0(3), some consistency, 67(58), 14(15), 18(23) where England failed to defend 333, 5-1 down in the series, they dropped Prior and played Davies for the last match.
Prior has played 63 ODIs to Davies’ 8 – he averages 24.65 at a strike rate of 76, and has won 3 Man of the match awards so far.
In this world cup, neither Prior nor Davies is opening the batting, Davies can’t because he’s not in the squad. Prior didn’t bat against Holland, against India, he was gone with the wind, 4(8).
Give it time, you will have far more cricketing reasons to like Steve Davies. For now, how about going to his cricinfo page and pressing on the Like button. If he could, surely you can come out and do that much.
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