Happy Bored Day - Peep Lee Live

You could say that I am 7 days late for my Bored Day post. But the fact is I am 5 years early. For the 2nd Bored Day, I have already said my 2 lines, this post is coming to you from 2015. Yeah, it is one of those premonition posts, and you could stop reading right now, if you love the suspense.

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Hi, this is Brett Lee reporting Live from the 7th Bored Day held here in a local coffee shop called Bored Coffee Crazy Indians in Delhi. Peeping in to the Bored Day celebrations has long been a dream and I am glad it is coming true.

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Most of the bored memebers are present here, considering they all have to report to Red Fort day after tomorrow on account of India's Independence Day. If the rumours that are trickling in are to be believed, Indian PM Rahul Gandhi will be felicitating the entire Bored team, for making cricket bearable to its masses.

It has been decided (after a handful of choicest Punjabi abuses, hurling everywhere) that the shop will not be throwing out RajaB for not bringing in his suggestions to the Bored Menu for the coffee shop.

Som has come prepared with a 7 point agenda (it reads 7 entries in Shahid Afridi's Diary on 7 Bored Days)and ABisht's in a corner cartooning on stray tissues

The two Ankits cannot be seen, but I'm sure they're lurking around.

Although Homer and Maheka are seated alongside each other, they have entered into a heated discussion on Twitter

Achettup has arrived in trousers that are short on length and is the butt of most jokes here. Most of them are from Naked Cricket, as his 'Jokes are funny, Butt...' has become a best seller in Pakistan.

Breaking News: Bored has got a new member, the youngest at that. It should be remembered that her debut game was some years away, but then she was so very young too.

Straight Point can be seen beaming in a corner. Bored is like family, after all.

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What should Irfan and Ishant do now?!

Indian cricket, one will do well to remember, faces some really weird selection policies. One day one guy  gets chosen because of unmentionable reasons, is retained in the team for even more unmentionable reasons while the best ones rot on the sidelines. A case in point is our very own Che.

Irfan Pathan and Ishant Sharma are such cases again. According to a lot of opinions, these guys do not have anything much to offer these days. So nothing like, they do not make it into any of the Indian teams. Not even the Women's team, who nobody really watches or cares about. But these cricket players are boys and boys, well, will remain boys. They can not still and have to be up to something or the other, all the time.

As a bored member, I decided to find out what could these two men really do, now that they have no cricket to play.

Irfan Pathan:

Touted as the next Wasim Akram (for his swing), and the next Kapil Dev (for his all round capabilities) until only some time ago, this boy had some awesome credentials to his name. But something has gone really wrong, with his swing as also with the selection policies. Now, this boy is largely being touted as the next Vinod Kambli (for never truly realizing his potential). 

However, the boy is a fighter. The boy can take up random jobs these days. It would really be perfect, because thanks to Greg Chappell's vision, the boy would any which ways not know what his job in any team really is. Cricinfo's latest suggestion is that he impersonate Munaf Patel. Never mind the fact that, Munaf himself is rotting in oblivion. And I am really in support of that. At least, that would be some job, and as nobody cares about Munaf either, nobody will care to point out Irfan's mistakes.

Ishant Sharma:

The boy who made Ricky Ponting hop in that famous (or infamous) Perth Test has lost some of his pace and length and also the confidence of the selection committee at the same time. What the boy should do now is to open his own Exercise Classes. He could make his students 'Hop, Skip and Jump', just like he made Ponting do all that. Never mind the fact that he will not be able to do so at his own bowling but on some Mika music. Also, he could take up some Dance classes. After the IPL Awards fiasco, some dancing tips are in the offing.

On being sidelined by the selection committee so brutally, it is important for these players to keep themselves really busy. Idleness can play havoc with the mind. (Ask me!) Keep yourselves busy guys, take up these jobs!

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Who else but Thank You Sachin!

Almost a year back, Ankit Poddar’s post at Bored was featured in The Week. That was by all available accounts, the first time The Week or any other mag featured Bored. Here are the excerpts dug out by Homer:

Perhaps the highlight of IPL 2 has been the number of blogs and websites commenting on it. One site calls itself the BCCI-Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. And its predicted report for IPL 2014 begins thus: "IPL chairman Lalit Modi thanks the government of Afghanistan for providing them with the best security measures and brilliant hospitality throughout the IPL. Che, formerly known as Cheteshwar Pujara, the captain of India and IPL Saurashtra Team, thanked Sachin Tendulkar for inspiring him to lead his side to victory…."

Ankit’s always been big on Thanking Sachin, today too, he looked right through his parents when they wished him – needless to say, he Thanked Sachin instead. Happy Bored Day Ankit, and Thank You Sachin! for the boy's bright ideas.

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9 30 am T20 matches

Indians are bored and cricket crazy. We know that. Hell, even the title of this blog page that you are reading say so! So, why am I making this repetitive point again? Am I trying to make a point with the 9.30 am T20 Matches, that are being played in the Windies for the prime time audience in India? No, I am not doing that really, for you have already discussed that with your friends or other bored members.

The point that I am making is that 9.30 am T20 matches are actually brilliant for the audience that wishes to see the match in the stadium too. Picture this:

There is an international T20 being played in your city. Your hours begin at 10. You know, your boss knows, your peon and even your girlfriend knows that there is nothing done till the lunch hours have ended by 2. Of course, you moron, you are not the only lazy bitch around who does not work till lunch. It is a worldwide norm, and that is where 9.30 matches would make sense.You go to the match at 9.30, watch the match get over 12.30, reach in time for lunch hours, and get back to work by 2.

Your boss does not have a problem with that, because now you are not going to rush back after the mandatory eight hours. Your girlfriend does not have a problem with that, because none of your late evening plans get cancelled, and she does not have to wake you with a morning call either. Of course, you are getting up on your own for the match. And you, well never mind. You are bored, cricket and crazy, anyways!

Think the author is high on dope? Well, that is what the author thinks about the English team!

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Duleep Trophy Final - Update on Discards

I know most of us would not be watching this match, after all the spectators are banned for this one. I also know most of us would not care about this match, after all it is just Duleep Trophy.

However, I have got interested in this one. It is a match full of Indian discards, more than the Indian hopefuls.

While some matches are not awarded first class status, some are. This one is of the second type. DKNY, or BossDK or Dinesh Karthik, has showed that he can bat well in these type of domestic tournaments and how is the second best keeper-batsman in the country. After being reduced to 120-4, the captain of South Zone did well to allow his team to finish the day at 356/6 with his own 161*.

Another Indian discard, Irfan Pathan took 3 wickets to help his side West Zone get the early advantage. Ravindra Jadeja took 2 wickets as well. Looks like Indian discards are taking this match real seriously. There are other discards in the other team as well. Will they perform as well?!

The second day begins in some time. With both Karthik and Ganpathy at the crease, Lord Shiva must be having his fingers crossed!

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Announcement - Calling Motera's Curator to Mumbai!

Yes, there is a match to be played in Mumbai! No, he is not going to be asked to prepare wicket for another boring match!

He is being called to Mumbai, to prepare Mumbai's roads! It is being believed, that "If he could create a pitch with soil, that did not produce a single crack, or unevenness over a period of five days, imagine, the kind of magic he could do with concrete."

I have to say, I can not disagree on this one! God knows, Mumbai needs roads that will not crack up every other day, or provide uneven bounces at every 100m.

Raj Thackerey has promised to create another havoc. Ironically, it is something about sons-of-'soil'!

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Sachin Announces Retirement - Just Another Premonition

Or call it a nightmare! While I was still thinking, what should be the one special post on Sachin completing 20 years in international cricket for Bored, I dozed off to sleep!

And it was time for another one of those premonitions!

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Sachin announced retirement 3 months back, and the reality has sunk in! Indian cricket is not the same anymore, being Indian hasn't remained the same either! SUNK, it is!

Last night, India lost their fourth straight one day series in the past 3 months, this time to Afghanistan. (Guess, I just love dreaming about the mountain, terror torn country!) Most of the blame had to be shouldered by the frail Indian batting line-up, that was still being regarded as the best in the world, only 90 days back!

After the Indian loss by 178 runs at Hyderabad, the arrogance in the words of Captain Virat Kohli, however, wasn't lost! "We have lost Sachin, but we have the potential to produce another one.", said he, and was mocked at by the packed stadium at Hyderabad! He was also mocked at in sports bars and coffee houses around the world! Bored Chief has announced a free of cost medical check up for Virat's mental illness, as the Bored Chief cannot see Indian cricket go down the drain where it is headed to.

BCCI has lost all its multi-million deals with its sponsors, in the past 2 months, when they were up for renewal! If BCCI hasn't invested well in the past, it seems with the current trend, that it is heading towards another Lehmannesque bankruptcy!

On a scarier note, Bored had an exclusive interview with the legendary Sachin himself. He seems to be going crazy sitting at home, watching India lose so bad! He wants to get back to cricket, but then he is already 50! His wife, being a student of medicine, is scared for his health!


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I couldn't bear the trauma of Sachin's retirement any longer, which is where I woke up! And thankfully the nightmare ended!

Because Sachin is still here, inspiring confidence in me and his team, as he has for the past 20 years! And we will continue to see turning up in his whites and blues, and playing for India, as he has for the past 20 years!

Thank You Sachin, for still being here!

You could read more on what I think about Sachin and his 20 years, here!

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What shoud India do at Nagpur today?!

Well, it is really very simple!

Batsmen should be able to bat well, bowlers should be able to bowl well, and fielders should be able to field well! It may not guarantee a win, but it will at least avoid shame to the Indian team!

After all, it is a shame that the No. 2 ODI team in the world, can not bat, bowl or field well! Of course, a 4 run defeat hides all these facts! India may not get another chance though!

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Questions from Match 1!

Did you sh*t in your pants watching the last 4 overs of the match 1 of Hero Honda Cup 2009?!

Edge of the seat cricketainment is here! Australian or Indian, never mind, if you weren't at the edge of your seats in the last four overs of yesterday's match, my friend, you are not following cricket!

What is a convincing victory?!

The news channels keep calling yesterday's result a convincing victory for Australians! I believe that convincing victories are those, which grant you an undisputed psychological advantage for the next matches, and Australia do not take that from this match!

Is ODI format dead?!


My pants full of sh*t on your faces, ODI detractors! Because when the Top 2 ODI teams battle it out, it creates Cricketainment!

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Nimbus buys Indian Cricket for Rs. 2000 cr

Nimbus Communications have bagged the rights for cricket hosted in India, for another four years, from 2010 to 2014! Never mind the fact that Future Tours Program by ICC is not yet fixed, and that India wouldn't know how many matches it is going to host! There is money to be spent (for Nimbus) and money to be gathered (for BCCI)!

Test matches have been regarded as the same as ODIs and T20s, each going for an approximate Rs. 31 cr. Never Mind the fact that the audience watching them are completely different! There is money to be spent (for advertisers) and money to be gathered (for Nimbus)!

Nimbus will have another 4 years of Indian Cricket hosted by it! Never Mind the fact that I don't even get Neo Sports for most of the year!

Mind the fact that this is my Bored Post after an entire month! And I mind the fact, that my Bored Birthday post is yet to come! Watch out for that one!

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Thank You Sachin, For The Food We Eat!

So, says Gautam Gambhir, for Sachin has shaped his career, the source of his bread and butter!

Gautam Gambhir was awarded the Indian Cricketer of the Year award 2008 at the Castrol Awards, for scoring a 100 runs in ODIs and Tests! And as expected, he got emotional and blabbered a lot!

"There was a tough phase when I was struggling with the bat and faced a lot of criticism. I haven't spoken a lot about this, but a lot of credit goes to Sachin for what I am today. He has helped me redefine my career. He is also my favorite player in the team."

Thank You, Sachin, for letting Gambhir thank you!

P.S.: Sachin, we want the Champions Trophy brought to India, Tatha-astu?

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Bangladesh agrees to play in Day-Night Tests!

May be Pink Balls will help the chances of the Tigers! May be not! But ECB is happy! Lords may get to host the first day and night match in May 2010! Who cares! ICC doesn't! MCC does, after all it needs to crib!

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A-nother Premonition from 2014

Yeah, I feel like Madhuri Dixit! And Bored makes me go 'Dhak Dhak', which is why I chose to be back here!

Yeah, we have already had one premonition from 2014, the one from the IPL and here is another one!

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BCCI President Sourav Ganguly, also the CAB president since 2009, made an announcement this morning. With effect from today, there will no Australian coaches for the Indian team henceforth, nor for any of the state associations!

IPL has been excluded from Sourav's ruling, and John Buchanan, the coach of KXIP is to keep his job! With multiple team owners, none on talking terms with each other, a similar concept had been introduced by John for captaincy in their team!

Ajinkya Rahane - kar and Abhishek Nayar-kar are hoping to be selected for Indian team's tour to Afghanistan! (Yeah, I had to drag that country in!) Both the men-boys are hoping to carry SMG and SRT's legacy forward.

Former Australian Captain, Ricky Ponting has created a furore with the release of his new book, " We played as a Team - Just the 11 of us". In his book, he has insulted all Indian players, by not making a single mention of any them in the book. This could now be taken as a sign of changing times. Taking potshots at Indian players, it seems, is no more a worthy marketing ploy!

Courtesy: Bored Cricket Crazy Indians - The Premier Website on Everything Cricket!

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Yeah, Mind You! You read it here first!

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Wasn't Bored almost right or what?!

When the T20 World Cup was still to begin, when the Indian team were still supposed to win, I at Bored had some observations about the teams. Read them, before you read these!

Now, weren't those right or what!

South Africa reached the semi finals on account of their experience at IPL, and then lost it, on account of the same! A case in point being Duminy's experience with MI! But more importantly they choked again! How I wish I had betted on it!

Australia found it real hard without Roy, and they are unseeded for the next T20 WC now! Of course, because it is Oz, ICC may change some of the rules before next year!

India, well, still very raw! So, let us forget it! Just let them come back, got those effigies ready!

West Indies, okay I was wrong about them!

Sri Lanka, still don't like their outfits!

But Pakistan! Yes, so right about them! They had lost both their warm ups and are now into the Finals of T20 World Cup! Hail their inconsisntency!

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A - moment from India v/s England Super Eights Match

I slept through most of the match after the 15th over of the English innings!

But then so did Team India!

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"How the fck can India qualify for the semi finals of the Twenty20 World Cup?"

If this is what keeps you awake then clearly one part of you lives in that Windies World Cup. The other part lives in World Cups pre 1983. Clearly Bored Member Ankit Poddar cannot be bothered about pre-1983, that was way before his time. But the ghosts of 2007 are forcing him to see things, such as these four scenarios. They have been aptly titled Scenario 1, Scenario 2, Scenario 3, Scenario 4.

John Dyson should read this. So should MS Dhoni, he may never bat again in this World Cup. And of course, so should you. Read all four scenarios here.

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A - Moment from India v/s West Indies Super Eights Match

According to a well documented source, this is the end of the world!

Now every moment is important! Every bored moment that is! After all, bored makes it bearable!

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MSD has a problem of Plain-Tea!

So, he said!

On being asked what he is going to do about Rohit Sharma's opening position when Jatman returns, MSD gave out this little secret about his health!

MSD, you should now start having coffee! India needs you to be in top fitness in this T20 World Cup, after all the selectors have sent only one wicket-keeper with the squad!

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The T20 Carnival begins tomorrow!

Yeah, Bored was live last night, and I was one of those on the panel! I mention this, cause our moderators deserve a special thanks! It must have been one hell of a task for them!

So, the warm up matches are over, including the India-Pakistan warm up final! It is time for the T20 carnival to begin!

A quick look at the teams:

Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands, Bangladesh: The group of upsetters! It would be fun to watch, whose party they spoil!

Australia: Andrew Symonds has been sent back home! So reports Achettup! The Oz T20 teams now looks like those racist blokes really in need of some proteins, wait that could send all of them back, ala Warney!

South Africa: Any side that has benefited the most from the IPL, apart from India, in terms of match practice, it is these guys. Guess, CSA has a certain BRC management to thank!

New Zealand: Their reaching the semi finals is almost a given! After all it is an ICC tournament! Can't bet on it though! Want to bet on Saffers choking instead?

England and West Indies: Are very happy with winning against each other! May get out of the WC as soon as it begins! Of course, you know that!

Pakistan: They have lost both their warm up matches, so they are going a long way in this World Cup, on account of their inconsistency!

Sri Lanka: I hate their team outfits!

India: One loss, one win! Against somebody they have never won against, against somebody they have never lost any! Yeah, you can't comment much on their form! But they are the defending champions!

All that I would now add, Aane De!

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Indian T20 Team = India Kiddie XI!

Why? Well, that is what this entire post is about!

I was watching this particular news channel about MSD's press conference and Team India's T20 Squad's photo session! Of course you don't care which news channel it was, because all of them are the same!

(That photo can be seen at SP's)

What interested me, was Team India's enthusiasm through out the photo session. It reminded me of those photo sessions, we all had back in our school days, the ones that were taken for the annual mags!

Indian Team's stars were behaving those school kids after all! The team had all of them!

The guy laughing all the way about how funny this photo session is! Read Harbhajan there!

The guy making sure he is looking all good! Read Zaheer Khan!

The guy making sure he is looking straight into the camera with a broad smile! That was Irfan Pathan!

The guys talking slyly just before the photo is being taken, looking in to the camera, and their lips moving, giving each other last minute gyan! May be Yuvraj was telling MSD how hard captaincy was for him during the IPL!

The guy looking at the camera, with a derisive look, like how all of this is such a pain in the backside! Of course, who could that be, but Jatman!

Yes, Indian T20 squad is India's Kiddie XI! Not because you have seen most of them progress from the under-19 levels, right before your eyes! But, that is what the photo session says!

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