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You can call me The Artist formerly known as Nohit. That has a swagger to it, I can almost see myself breaking into song, a Bollywood ballad. Anyway, it’s just a matter of time before they start calling me Prince or Nawab of Nagpur.
Did you notice how I pulled and hooked the Lankans, and I’m Indian. I will speak with Garry and ask if I can help the captain and the other seniors back home with their pulling.
I’d like to thank someone, I don’t remember who really, someone who said, in passing, just play like it’s the IPL, and you will score tons of runs. Now you see what has happened, even in my dreams I’m scoring runs. Earlier my dream runs were few, I won’t even call them dream runs. What else?
I hope my good India form doesn’t affect my IPL form – there is always a chance that playing too much for India, can leave you with little time to recover for the IPL season. That is where the 20s and 30s for India were crucial, finally the selectors had to drop me. But now after these two hundreds it will be up to me to drop the selectors. Cheeka, watch out! (languid laugh)
Don’t you think I was really cool today, I’ve really worked on my easy-going look. That makes everything look even easier than it is. Deep down I’m tough as nails, but with this look, I look, you know what…whatever…gotta go, sign some autographs (yawns)
"Don't call me Nohit Sharma"
RDX: Fly on the wall
It’s not because I don’t bowl myself, but I don’t care much for batsman who make the team on the strength of their bits and pieces bowling. Allow me to continue on Yusuf Pathan, who bats at No. 7 and bowls a few overs (2-3 in both one-dayers and T20). In my opinion that is not on.
A part-timer like Yusuf makes the team at the cost of a more accomplished bowler or batsman. It may be argued that without Yusuf at 7 the balance of the team is hurt – I don’t think so. Yusuf only adds to the team on paper.
If only Greg Chappell had a chance to work on Yusuf Pathan instead of his brother, Irfan, Indian cricket would’ve been well served.
Even today, in the game against Sri Lanka, Yusuf is yet to bowl, and we’re at over number 45, with the batting power play on. If he hasn’t bowled so far, I doubt he will bowl at all. It’s time to ask the question, is Yusuf being protected – and if so, by whom?
Personally, I’m working on my bowling in the nets. It is clear to me, that batting alone cannot earn me a spot in the World Cup. Watching Dinesh Karthik keep in the last few games, I feel he still has a long way to go, to even consider himself the second choice keeper.
Even though keeping was a thankless job, I’m not averse to keeping wickets again, if the team feels they need my services. In addition, I can also be the 3rd or 4th choice opener if one of the regular openers is unavailable. And even though opening did not come naturally to me, Viru and I have shared a 400 plus partnership opening where we nearly overhauled the world-record. If need be, I can also bat at my regular No. 3 position, but then again, this is up to the selectors. They know best.
by RDX
This is the second in a series of posts by RDX, exclusively for Bored Cricket Crazy Indians.
How was your cricket?
My cricket uncle, I call him that as that was a connect I had with him, asked his grandson, in September, 2009, among other things, how was your cricket? To me, that is all encompassing – in three words, Grandfather connects with grandson, friend to friend, man to man, boy to boy.
I chance upon this as I waft through facebook, see the birthday alerts, it’s his on June 1st. Happy Bored Day Madan uncle, I’m glad we talked all that cricket.
RDX: Fly on the wall
Whenever one of these T20 specialists makes an ass of themselves, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction. It’s hard to express ones’ self, but to be brutally honest with you, I feel, finally there is some justice in the world. You can’t claim to be a cricketer by your exploits in the limited version alone. It is wrong on far too many counts.
To call it old school is being too simplistic. There are still players prepared to put the hard yards in, and do what it takes to be complete cricketers who can excel in all forms of the game.
The other day, Michael Holding made a telling comment when he said Keiron Pollard is not a cricketer. Out of curiosity, I’ve often stayed up late (with my Bournvita I might add) to watch the likes of Pollard play, and what they bring to the team.
The way I look at it, Pollard is in the team as a batting all-rounder; he bats too low for my liking, and often fails to play as an impact player. Even though it worked for the Mumbai Indians, saving him for the last 2-3 overs and sometimes even less, defies logic.
As a perceived match winner, Pollard, or for that matter a player like Yusuf Pathan should be prepared to counter-attack when the team is in strife. If you noticed, in yesterday’s game, when India was in strife, Ravendra Jadeja batted before Pathan. This is the same Jadeja who batted below Harbhajan not too long ago.
While Yusuf Pathan is known to counter attack against state teams, he is often found wanting in the internationals. Yesterday, once again, he left two short balls alone, never mind they were the last two balls of the 50th over.
While Pollard’s 3-27 may appear impressive on paper, it’s time the West Indies asked themselves about his role in the team. India too, must ask themselves some serious questions regarding Pathan who gets away bowling a few overs and batting low-down, and having no impact on games.
It’s high time the Indian selectors made a clear distinction between international performance and muscle showed in the IPL, Ranji, Dileep trophies.
Lastly, it may not be a bad ploy for the selectors to look beyond the present pool of players. Next I will speak about the role of specialists as opposed to bits and pieces all-rounders.
by RDX
This is the first in a series of posts by RDX, exclusively for Bored Cricket Crazy Indians.
A disingenious argument
Writing in the Age, Peter Roebuck makes the argument that while there is plenty to dislike about the Howard nomination for the post of ICC Vice President, once the NZC and CA proposed his name, it is incumbent on all other members of the ICC to accept this without murmur as this has been ICC convention.
To buttress this claim, Roebuck cites the examples of Ray May Mali,Percy Sonn, Peter Chingoka. To quote from the article
"A board that welcomed Percy Sonn, who declared the 2003 Zimbabwe election free and fair though he knew it was a lie, thereby condemning Zimbabweans to years of torment; a board that accepted Ray Mali, whose co-operation with the apartheid government was exposed by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission; a board that listens to Peter Chingoka and Ozias Bute, apologists for evil in Zimbabwe, is poorly placed to turn its back on Jack the Ripper, let alone a former PM and cricket fanatic."And this reasoning is flawed.
Because what Percy Sonn or Ray Mali did in their previous avatars ( before becoming cricket administrators) is not relevant. Neither is Peter Chingoka's being an apologist to Robert Mugabe.
Because no one is opposiing John Howard's candidature because of Tampa incident or his support for the war in Iraq. The opposition is to Howard, the incumbent ICC Vice President, not Howard, the ex Prime Minister of Australia.
And by trying to extrapolate one to the other,Peter Roebuck makes for a disingenuous argument.
Pity, because he does articulate the more logical reasons for why SA or Zimbabwe might oppose John Howard later in the piece.
Retard.
February 25, 2010
Ijaz Butt, the chairman of PCB, has said no Pakistani team will participate in the Champions League Twenty20 this year.
"I have already spoken to Lalit Modi about this and there is no chance of any team from Pakistan playing in the Champions League this year," Butt was quoted as saying by PTI. "After the way our players were treated [in the IPL auction] I don't see our players or teams taking part in the Champions League this year."
The Champions League features the best domestic Twenty20 teams from across the world. The first edition of the tournament was held in India last year. Pakistan was originally included as one of the participating countries, but they were omitted due to the political fallout of the Mumbai terror attacks. The venue for the 2010 tournament is yet to be announced.
Despite the exclusion, and the subsequent IPL cold-shoulder, Lalit Modi had expressed confidence that Pakistan would return to future editions of the leagues. Butt, however, said that this was still undecided.
"Our future participation in the IPL and Champions League remains undecided but this year atleast we are not taking part in either event."
--
May 25, 2010
After the IPL snub, Pakistan suffered fresh humiliation when their domestic T20 champions, Sialkot Stallions, were not picked for the Champions League Twenty20 (CLT20), to be held in South Africa in September.
The CLT20 governing council on Monday announced the names of the ten teams that will participate in the tournament's second edition.
Despite being eligible, Pakistan were not invited to participate. Teams from India, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Sri Lanka and the West Indies will compete in the $2.5 million event from September 10-26.
“We were hoping to get an invitation for the Champions League this year, but that is not to be it seems. The Stallions were ready to participate and we were looking forward to it,” Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chairman, Ijaz Butt, told HT on Monday.
The Stallions had qualified for the inaugural CLT20 in 2008, but it got deferred due to the Mumbai terror attacks. The following year, the event was held in India and no team from Pakistan was invited due to troubled ties between the two countries.
Things were looking up this year when Pakistan cricketers were given visa clearance to play in IPL III (though they couldn’t play) and their hockey team participated in the World Cup in India.
The PCB chairman had confirmed to the Hindustan Times that, if invited, the Stallions were ready to participate. Though the Champions League dates clashed with Pakistan’s tour of England, he had assured it wouldn’t stop the Stallions from fielding a full side.
On Monday, Butt called the snub “scandalous” and found no reason to be left out, especially when the event was not being held in India.
“I am constantly surprised by this treatment meted out to our cricketers. IPL did the same thing to us, we ran from pillar to post to get the paper work done, the Indian sports minister so willingly helped us, but finally no one got picked in the auction. This is absolutely scandalous. There is no reason for them to ignore us like that,” said Butt.
“Even last year we didn’t get an invite for the Champions League. We tried to enquire about the situation but there was no response. How can one judge us without sending an invite?” he wondered.
The PCB chairman hoped these were not signs of Pakistan being isolated and vowed to take up the issue in the next ICC meeting.
“We will definitely take up this issue with the ICC. This is unfair treatment to one of the senior members of the ICC.”
The CLT20 is an initiative of the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI), Cricket Australia (CA) and Cricket South Africa (CSA).
Evolution
Friends, Rainas and Countrymen
like Russel Crowe in Gladiator!" - Suresh Raina
Thank You.
Bored Cricket Crazy Indians is No. 5 on the World’s 50 best cricket websites by Patrick Kidd of The Times. Thank You Sachin.
Dangling conversations at PCB HQ Re: Shahid Afridi
The PCB headboys are gathered to discuss Shahid Afridi’s future
Man1: We are gathered here today to discuss Shahid Afridi’s future
Man2: But Shahid Afridi has no future
Man1: So sorry Khan sab! We are gathered here today to discuss Shahid Afridi’s present
Man3: I agree, Shahid Afridi is very gifted player, I have heard Rameez Bhai say so himself…
Man2: Can we stop letching at the hidden cameras and get on with this meeting
Man1: So sorry Khan saab! We are gathered here today to discuss Shahid Afridi's present as a test player
Man4: How can he play test cricket – he has retired, and he is a t20 specialist
Man2: He will bowl 4 overs and bat 2 balls
Man1: You are brilliant Khan sahb – it is decided, Shahid Afridi will play test cricket
Man2: He will be the first T20 test cricketer
Man3: I agree, this way even if he retires from test cricket again, we will still have the T20 player
Cameraman: Ok, when do I leak this?
Man3: Not here man, men's room please
To beat England
Scrap Shakib's chicken pox and dip them in silver to make them look like diamonds. Then offer it to Alastair Cook as a bribe, he is from Essex after all.
Let Andrew Strauss know that his captaincy is in question. It's not, but they are English. They tend to believe in the worst.
Go the ICC way and pretend that Eoin Morgan is still too Irish for you to notice him.
Fix Tamim Iqbal quickly, that always helps. Remind him that Cook is playing and is therefore available to drop him at some point.
Frustrate them till they step on balls or clean them with nails. If we are lucky, they may take a bite as well.
Don't depend on Crashrafool. Or better yet, switch him with Mahmudullah.
Keep Mushfiq happy. He is my son you see. If you keep him happy, I am happy. If I am happy, I am not making the short five hour flight to England to unleash hell on you. If I am not making the short five hour flight to England to unleash hell on you, you are left with a team to at least compete. It all works out splendidly.
Suresh Raina's Bizarre Fielding Drills
The players start off with a huddle at deep midwicket. Raina then invites the players to follow the exact trajectory of his favourite 6s, and takes the huddle ‘beyond the boundary’ into the stands.
He then recites the poem he wrote as a cub cricketer
Beyond the mid wicket boundary I will hit the ball hardWhen the players look quizzically at him, he will distract them with some new-age fielding drills – throwing the balls randomly for players and dogs to fetch. To inject playfulness, Raina will have cricketers compete with dogs.
Har! Har! Har!
Beyond the mid wicket boundary into the stands, hard
Har! Har! Har!
There she sits waiting to catch me
But she’ll have to train harder
Har! Har! Har!
When the dogs out-fetch the cricketers, there will be an analysis of Afridi’s ball biting. This will be followed with the players pouncing on balls, like dogs, with their mouths. To inject more playfulness, the cricketers will have new names assigned to them, these will vary depending on their skills.
A good fielder will be called Sultan while a bad one will be called Salah Kutta.
(to be continued)
The Kamran Akmal Interrogation - An Exclusive
Kamran Akmal is being wired up by the polygraph test guys. His mouth appears even more swollen than usual. The Q & A session starts
Questioner 1: Did you intentionally drop those catches??
Kamran Akmal: Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai!
Questioner 1: Answer our question…did you…??
Questioner 2: Wait, the machine says that’s an honest answer
Questioner 1: Did you intentionally miss those stumpings??
Kamran Akmal: Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai!
Questioner 2: Bhai Wah! the machine says that’s also an honest answer
Questioner 1: Let’s see if you can dodge this one…
Kamran looks on nervously, his lips swell up some more…
Questioner 1: Did you intentionally miss the Michael Hussey run out in the Sydney test?
Kamran waits, doesn’t answer it…
Questioner 1: Did you…
Kamran Akmal: Well bowled Danish!
Questioner 2: Bhai wah! Once again that is the honest answer!
Kamran’s toothy grin becomes even toothier and the swelling subsides somewhat….
Mohammad Asif is a cartoon
MoYo's Solution
What on earth is the MPL now?
I have been watching the MPL (Maharashtra Premier League, t20, of course) recently. It's a joint production of the MCA (Maharashtra Cricket Association) and of course some assorted sponsors to promote 'young talent'.
It can be called an exact replica of the IPL model with teams that are owned by franchises, smug owners wearing shades, theme songs, the works!
While any move to promote any talent is welcome. What bothers me is the effect the biff, bang, boom version is having on the kids that are involved.
I don't really mind T20, What i do mind is 20 year-olds trying Dilscoops, Reverse paddles, over the keeper ramps and what not at the drop of a hat
Granted, there's no hanging around in T20, but how about some proper cricketing shots to begin with?
The average first innings score has been 115, may be less. The teams that are chasing, seem to have no clue about how to go about it, resulting in failed chases of sub-110 targets. I just hope these lads get told off by the coaches for playing so irresponsibly.
After all the likes of Jeff Lawson, Lalchand Rajput et al are looking over these kids. These are the years that they, at least begin, to discover what sort of an approach is more suited to them. Who knows an inning or two of substance could catapult them into the selector's good books.
One more thing of concern is the lack of genuine pace. While 8 teams out of the whole of Maharashtra is barely a good enough sample, there's gotta be ONE nippy sorta guy in the tournament, no?
Or am I expecting too much from a bunch of 20 year olds?
Plus, there's so many spinners with jerky actions, i wonder why the umps aren't calling even one of them.
If it's being played for promoting talent and all that jazz, then its gotta be played right, no?
What has been heartening to see is that the catching and ground fielding has been genuinely good, barring a few customary young blood goof ups. At least one aspect of cricket for these lads is coming along well.
If this is the future of Maharashtra Cricket, a lot of work needs to be done on the temperament of these kids. The technique, i believe is an ongoing process which keeps on evolving with age.
Hoping to see at least a couple of these kids realising their potential by the end of the tournament. Also, more of such ventures in the longer versions of the game would be most welcome.
You can also see, MPL and MI last year here
The England Captain speaks!
"It's a massive achievement. We've had a monkey on backs having not won an ICC trophy and put that right. It's right up there with last year's Ashes win."
So there you have it then - not much to choose between winning the Ashes and the ICC World T20 ( the third in 3 years).
And so much for the sanctity and primacy of Test Cricket!
Wonder what Chris Gayle makes of all this.
What is a Show Cause Notice?
Nehra, Zaks, Yuvi, Raina, Jadeja, Nohit, Chawla, Vijay, all the pub brawl suspects are lounging together, they’re together to discuss the show cause notice, but nobody is saying anything.
They continue to acknowledge each other
Jadeja: Hi guys
Nohit: Hi Ajay, I mean Ravin…
They all laugh, spontaneously
Speech blurb appears over Jadeja to express his thoughts:
Speech Blurb: I’m going to change my team, then they’ll see what’s funny…
Chawla: Hi Zaks, Yuvi
Zaks: Hi Piyu
Vijay: Hi guys, good to see you guys again
Yuvi: Areh stop beating the bush guys, why are we here…let’s talk about that
Nohit: Notice kya tha..?
Raina: Show…
Chawla: Cause bhi tha…
Yuvi: yeah, yeah, that only bloody Notice Show Cause…
Raina: Haha not Notice Show Cause…it’s Cause Show Notice
Vijay: Drop it guys, it’s called a Show Notice Cause
Zaks: No, no, no…none of the above…
Chawla: Then what?
Zaks: Aaaah the envelope says…someone has torn the envelope…it just says Show…
Yuvi: Hahha! Then we will go and Show! Here boss, See what you wanna see!!
The cricketers all join in, in a lewd act, indicative of what they will show..
Nehra: SHUT UP! You #@^^%% salaah, they will send us another Show…Zaks tweet to Sachin and ask him, he will know…
Yuvi: Idiot! If you tweet all can see, send him sms…
Instead Zaks speed dials Sachin…
Nohit: Wow, you have his number…
Zaks: Hi buddy, sorry to disturb you, I was with the boys, and there’s a Show
Problem…Some Cause problem…and some Notice problem…kya hai bole toh???
Sachin on speaker phone…
Sachin: I-LA! That is Show Cause Notice…it’s all over the news, have you guys received it…relax, I will not make any comment on it…wishing you and the boys best of luck…
Everybody stands at attention and sings in Chorus:
Everybody: Thank You Sachin!
Sachin squeaks back:
Sachin: These things happen…I'm sure you will bounce back, take care...
The Daredevil touch.
Last year Dilshan, de Villiers, Gambhir and some other Daredevils had a year and a half on national duty. Then this year, Shoaib Malik got hooked, and Mr. Collingwood started to smile, laugh and won the World Twenty20.
I propose every time Mr Collingwood goes on to bat they play Street Fighting Man. Mr C is one of those guys you wish well, ok, maybe not you, but I do at least. There’s dignity to him, he could be a thug for all I know, but even if he is one, he’s a dignified thug. The type that De Niro will gladly play.
When someone says, ‘he gives it his all’ they’re referring to Mr C. With his short arm jabs, you can easily picture a bulldog playing cricket. He doesn’t bark, but does he bite. And catches balls – just don’t hurl nothing in his direction, if he can’t get his hands to it, he’ll snap it with his 32.
Mr C strikes me as one of those blokes who's lived life – did you see all those laugh lines n work lines in the extreme close up at the post match talks? Appears after games, Mr C was working another shift, short arm jab comedy.
Yeah, that’s it about Mr C, he seems like a regular guy playing cricket – not some superstar or model. There’s work, grit, ethics all those tough sounding words, and they’re actually applied – you’ll hear often enough that he’s not the most gifted guy, but between those blocks does he know how to unleash. It’s all in the wiring. And he’s not going to short-circuit easily.
Mr Collingwood has had his moment – question is, how hungry is he? There’s an Ashes not too far away. But by then we'll be picking at Strauss again.
Thank You, Lalit! Says Who? ECB, that's who!
Well, why would we thank Lalit when there is Sachin and Captain Cool to thank?There's a reason, you see.England have won the world cup. That's right. You aren't dreaming and I haven't gone insane.How did they do it?This is where you get the inside scoop from Bored - sources close to England management sang to the Bored representative.They won because they followed the IPL model.Yes, thanks Lalit. How? Why, by picking 4 foreign players in the 11, ofcourse. Which was the last team in Cricket that won with 4 foreign players? CSK, ofcourse. Which tournament? Exactly! And who dreamed up the 4 foreign player rule? So you can take Cricket out of Lalit's hands but you can never take Lalit out of Cricket!
Listen to KP speak.
There’s clarity, swift thought, quick talk. None of that “at the end of the day” repetition he gets to when the chips are down. When KP lost game after game in India, he ended many days, one-day after the other.
Listen to KP now. He sounds good enough to start scoring 158 again. KP on song is good for English cricket, the IPL, Mallaya’s investment, test cricket, yeah, most of all test cricket – he will come down the wicket, break his ribs, break the bowler, break it down again.
If he gets going in tests, the average paranoid Nasser Hussein will first look at him going beyond fifty. The Aussies, they will, never mind. I’ve always considered KP to be a bit of a Jatman – he has the madness to use the bat like a luth (stick) – in him, I also see a bit of Yuvi.
There is the desire to dominate, to whip the enemy into shape – kill the air with his fists, howl that mad war cry, these are the Beowulfs – they are already part of legend, no matter what they do or don't do from here.
English cricket craves KP, just as Indian cricket continues to crave Yuvraj. It’s a grand obsession, a pagallpan.
Lalit Modi vs Lalit Kumar Modi
In order to reply to Lalit Modi’s 15,000 page reply to their (BCCI’s) charge sheet, the BCCI is keen to hire the services of one Lalit Kumar Modi.
Lalit Kumar Modi will be hired for an undisclosed sum wherein the suspended Commissioner and Chairman IPL (Indian Premier League) will receive a reply of 30,000 pages from the newly appointed Commissioner and Chairman IPL (Indian Page League). When asked if Lalit Modi and Lalit Kumar Modi are indeed the same person, both Lalit Modi and Lalit Kumar Modi will refute the claims, issuing denials that will run into a few thousand pages.
It will be proposed that Idea Cellular's paper saving campaign sponsor the exchange between the two Modis. It’s possible the exchanges are moved, for security reasons to South Africa, to the town of Pietermaritzburg.
It's also possible that the Modis along with their lawyers jump off a train to commemorate the IPL's (Indian Page League) new chapter in South Africa.
Do not expect any comment from the locals, they will choke.
Who else but Thank You Sachin!
Almost a year back, Ankit Poddar’s post at Bored was featured in The Week. That was by all available accounts, the first time The Week or any other mag featured Bored. Here are the excerpts dug out by Homer:
Perhaps the highlight of IPL 2 has been the number of blogs and websites commenting on it. One site calls itself the BCCI-Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. And its predicted report for IPL 2014 begins thus: "IPL chairman Lalit Modi thanks the government of Afghanistan for providing them with the best security measures and brilliant hospitality throughout the IPL. Che, formerly known as Cheteshwar Pujara, the captain of India and IPL Saurashtra Team, thanked Sachin Tendulkar for inspiring him to lead his side to victory…."
Ankit’s always been big on Thanking Sachin, today too, he looked right through his parents when they wished him – needless to say, he Thanked Sachin instead. Happy Bored Day Ankit, and Thank You Sachin! for the boy's bright ideas.
Dhoni and I are going to the dogs
Michael Hussey Men of the Match
Michal Hussey's innings was an open thread, as is this post. Over to you Bored friends.
The Ashes T20 Final
A year ago, we had proudly predicted an Ashes T20 Final but sadly it wasnt to be.
Never mind, Life always gives a second chance. So, we are on the brink of an ashes T20 final this time, and what's more, England are actually looking competitive.
Very often, when you watch re-runs of tournaments, hindsight provides you clues from the league and semis where the winning team had some magic moments. In 2007, it was the way providence kept saving India, with the Bowl-out win, Yuvraj going ballsitic when it looked like the total will just be competitive, and Rohit Sharma taking India to safety after a top order failure in the Semis. Then, there was Sreesanth with that delivery to Hayden.
So, this time I applied that hindsight in advance, and it seems to me that team that have had that magic this time are Australia. Thrice, their top order failed, and thrice, there was magic with someone or the other putting their hands up and rescuing them. Portents? I think so. I would be extremely surprised if Australia dont make it to the finals, atleast. Considering England's form, it wont be that big a surprise if they beat Australia in the finals. Nevertheless, it is going to be tough for England. They'll be hoping to have Pakistan in the finals. Lightning doesnt strike twice - I dont think Pakistan can repeat last year's feat. So, it is either England or Australia. An Ashes Final.
In retrospect, it is alleged that the 2007 T20 WC was fixed to revive Cricket in Sub-Continent. Should we do the same now if there is an Ashes final? Wouldnt it be a great fillip to England Cricket, if England win the WC now? I suggest let's all start using the same tactic as western media and allege that this was fixed to revive English T20 and LOI cricket :-)
India's bowling riches....
I've compiled a list of all the (Fast/Fast medium/Medium Fast/PK speed) bowlers in the World who would walk into an Indian T20 first XI. Feel free to add more names into the list...
Top Ten NFL Coaching Meltdowns.
I shared this video with Homer a while ago. This one's for all of us who are sick and tired of coaches and players repeating themselves after every game. It would be nice if they were as candid as the people in this video.
"Jana Gana Mana" means nothing for our cricketing superstars
For me India lost the match to Sri Lanka even before it began. I was appalled to see some our cricketing demi-gods sporting their shades while the national anthem was playing. This sums up their arrogant attitude and is a reflection of their commitment to the country. The disrespect shown by these jokers to the national anthem was more disturbing than the loss and exit from the world cup especially for a person like me who comes from a Fauji family.
Please do let me know if you have seen sportsmen from any other country sporting their shades or even any headgear while their national anthem plays... be it at the FIFA world cup, the Olympics or even before a cricket match.
These bludy civilians need to learn a lot from the Indian armed forces - in terms of fighting spirit, physical and mental fitness, performing under pressure in adverse conditons, respect for national symbols and commitment towards the country.
Jai Hind!
MSD: Mahi, Sex aur Dhoka
1. Are you, Yuvraj and Yusuf in better form than Nohit Sharma?
2. Is that one over you hit Irfan Pathan the basis for your form?
3. Why do you only bat up the order @ 96/2 off 11.1 overs?
4. Do you still hold Nohit Sharma’s run-out of you against him?
5. Are you a cricketer or a politican?
6. Are you sulking because RP Singh wasn’t picked?
7. Are you sulking because Piyush Chawla was picked?
8. What’s the deal with Sehwag/Gambhir/Delhi and you
India is over and out of the World Twenty20
It just dawned upon me why the IPL is such a huge success: because India can never really be out of it. Here it’s somewhat different. You get pushed around, spanked, bruised and beaten. It’s like I keep hearing that same dialogue from A Knights’ Tale – “You have been weighed, You have been measured And You have been found wanting.”
But it’s all funny. And I’m beginning to find India losing in T20 Dos funny in a mildly annoying way. That helps. The end is always on a high, and hilarious. Today was extra special, the Indians didn’t seem too bothered, they even misfielded the sentiment, but heck, the West Indians, they were, boss, what was that hit us?
I also like the message that announces the elimination, it’s very definitive. But if they had them in the IPL, I’m sure the message would be preceded by a Breaking News pointer.
Anyway, it’s not worth going through the game now, already been done on twitter, you can follow it here, if you care.
No small accomplishment: no name blame
Sri Lanka's short bowling options for India.
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| Sri lanka's short bowling options for India |
The power of Crashrafool compels you
You had thought that when Bangladesh exited from the T20 World Cup, Crashrafool had left the Caribbean too. The proper cricket could now start. No physically and mentally challenged ball of talent around to frustrate you to your death.
Then you saw India play. These world class batsmen were falling victims to short balls. Murali Vijay was a frequent and often the first offender. Gambhir was not far behind, as was Yusuf Pathan. You didn’t think Pathan was going to be the only one not following the latest trend did you?
“This is normal!” you scream. Indians fall for the short balls like the teenage girls fall for the latest, effeminate, pre-pubescent singer with ugly hair. What you did not realize is that underneath the disguise of the short ball there was also a large number of stupid shots being played that lead to their dismissals. Stupid shots, world class batsmen- remember these two phrases for now.
Then we have a look at Sri Lanka and those two phrases resonate from the back of our minds. Again, world-class batsmen (albeit less than India) and stupid shots. Even Mahela played a stupid shot. You know Mahela? Whose T20 WC resume so far reads 81, 100, 98*? Yeah, that Mahela.
The mystery lies in the power of Crashrafool. He too goes to short balls and stupid shots, except he is a semi-world class batsman. Okay, quarter. Fine, one-sixteenth. But his power spreads far and wide, even when he is not on the islands. He leaves his trace and world class batsmen sniff it out like FBI-trained Labradors. They then proceed to revive the trace into a full-fledged Crashrafool-esque performance. The same flamboyance and then the same brain fail. It is all very touching.
The Crashrafool is pleased, yes, he is very pleased.
by Purna
who blogs at Cricket Minded
The Nohit Sharma Song and Dance about nothing
Nohit – I no hit the ball
Billy – I know you hit the ball
Nohit – No hit! No hit!
Billy – Stop behaving like you’re the crowd, calling your name
Nohit – I no hit the ball
Billy – Does that matter, I’m blind, and you’re Indian
Nohit – I know you hate our balls
Billy – AAAH! You admit you hit the ball
Nohit – no, no, no – I no hit the ball
Billy – We’re both undecided let me ask Simon – Simon says you’re out!
Nohit – ohhh the dreaded crooked finger
Billy – You like it?
Nohit – I no hit the ball – refer it
Billy – Wasn’t that supposed to be earlier in the piece
Nohit – Teri Maa Ki!
Billy – Telemachus is not playing
Also see why he's called Nohit Sharma
Unfortunately it was not ICC World T20 for Blinds
Inside the circle, Yuvraj circled under a ball that had cleared the ropes long ago.
Bowden could not see the ball actually hit Rohit’s forearm.
Bhogle said Yuvraj had taken the catch when it was actually Rohit.
Manjrekar said Dhoni was the batsman when it was Yusuf Pathan.
Vijay blinked, Gambhir winked, Raina lost sight and Dhoni lacked vision.
These after Gayle came up with that blinder, looking like he can bat even blindfolded.
Unfortunately, for India, it was not ICC World Twenty20 for Blinds.
India's big budget T20 cast:
GG: What am I doing here, my place is back home in Delhi with my loved ones.
M Vijay: What am I doing here, my place is back home in Chennai with my loved league.
Raina: I can’t win every game when you all are hell bent on losing every game.
Nohit Sharma: I’m telling you I NO HIT the ball – it was my arm
Yuvraj Singh: I’m sulking. Why am I not Kings XI India captain? Areh, I didn’t know Windies had a spinner – who’s this Benn Ch*d??
MSD: Yes, of course…you cannot plan for everything…if we win the toss against Sri Lanka, I will field first just to show you what a cocky guy I am…and yes of course we will field the same team too…I’d like to..to show what a cocky guy I am…but there are a few passengers on this tour…
Yusuf Pathan: I’m giving you 4 overs, and you can’t even give me Warne as coach. Thank you for batting me down the order, my gifts are well hidden there.
Bhajji: I want to bat up the order, bowl up the order, field up the order but not at silly point!
Jadeja: I’m sorry for being me. Soon I will vanish.
Nehra: I sound like an arrogant sob but that’s what works in a team where appearances are everything..and don’t get me started on Mishra…
Zaks: I’m pricey of course I’ll be costly.
A Tribute to the Bajans
The world may know Barbados as the land of beautiful beaches and famous sprinters, but to the cricketing world it is the country that might possibly have the greatest ever All-Time Test XI. I have only had the pleasure of watching two of their greats - Malcolm Marshall and Desmond Haynes - live, and even they were nearing the end of their careers by then. Today is the last round of group matches in Barbados (There will be the final on 16th) and it seems about right to mention the greats whose names adorn the various stands at the renovated Kensington Oval.
1. Desmond Haynes
2. Gordon Greenidge
3. Everton Weekes
4. Clyde Walcott (Wk)
5. Frank Worrell (C)
6. Garfield Sobers
7. Malcolm Marshall
8. Wes Hall
9. Charlie Griffith
10. Joel Garner
11. Herman Griffith
I wonder if even Australia or England have produced cricketers in their long and illustrious history to match the class, fire and force comparable to what Barbados has produced. the quality of cricketers produced by Barbados and the Caribbean has diminished considerably in the last two decades, as can be seen from the fact that none of the aforementioned eleven have played an international match in over 16 years. However, there still are cricketers like Fidel Edwards and Kemar Roach who can turn back the clock to when the Bajans put the fear of God in the batsmen's mind. Don't believe me? Just ask Kevin Pietersen and Ricky Ponting.
I would like to end this post by asking the readers to contribute whatever anecdotes or incidents they might have heard, read or seen from these cricketing giants. I tried to look up a poem on the Three W's. I heard Tony Cozier recite it on Television. It would be great if someone here could dig it up and share it with us.
is it this simple...?
fellow blogger kartikeya wrote a post in disagreement of manjrekar's observations that india lacked 'mental discipline' and concluded it with his interpretations as...
A simpler and more reasonable analysis of the game, which does not dip into stereotypes about "Australia coming hard at India", would be that both batting line ups went hard at the opposition bowling - Australia's assault came off, while India's didn't.
needless to say... i do not agree with K's simplistic conclusion...
first... australia's assault paid off coz india was bowling filth... it was buffet bowling and those who watched the match would agree with me that it was a mystery why oz were still going at only 10 rpo then... they were not at risk of losing their wickets unless they were bored of hitting sixes... it was that bad bowling...
but when india came to bat the target was still stiff... 9rpo from outset is stiff asking rate and when pitch is favoring certain kind of bowling it becomes even more stiffer...
where our batsmen faulted was that they went blindly for their shots irrespective of the fact that bowlers were bowling really well... that the short balls were hitting the upper part of their bats... that they were hurried to play the shots...
now it's easy to say our counter attack not came off... they were not robots who were programmed to behave particular ways... we are talking about international level batsmen here... and though t20 game is a bang bang cricket it still leaves some scope for 'mind over matter' kind of batting...
as an international batsman you are supposed to quickly size up the situation and mold your approach accordingly... the shots gambhir and raina played before getting out proves the point... both were late in playing the pull shots... the ball hit the bat rather than the other way around... but still they looked adamant on playing those shots countering the sharp bounce and perished...
in the end we needed 50 odd runs in last three overs with no batsman to follow... considering that in t20 game chasing 30 runs in last three overs is a par target... had our top order batsmen shown some grit to grind it out we could have got more opportunities to close the gap of those 20 runs in first 17 overs...
india played the similar game against south africa when in first 10 overs they looked behind the eight balls but preserved their wickets to compensate it in later overs and set almost the same target they were chasing against australia... they needed to adopt the similar approach against australia but they lacked the same discipline hence failed miserably... the match was as good as over inside first six overs itself...
9 30 am T20 matches
Mentally Retarded Pakistani Cricketers
Intikhab Alam - I felt that they are mentally retarded people. There is a mental problem with our players. They don't know how to wear their clothes and how to talk in a civilized manner.
Bored Game: World T20 League Update
The clarity of a selfish cricketer.
Mahela didn’t do much for the first half of the IPL. Then Sanga, his Punjab skip, made him open - a hundred was followed by many more impact innings. That form continues into the World T20, 100, 98, he’s scoring like Dilshan used to, only more.
Then you have Gambhir, DD skipper. He drops down so Warner can open with Sehwag. Their opening doesn’t click yet Gambhir continues with them; both Sehwag and his form worsens, from patchy to scratchy. At that point, I did think it both selfless and stupid of Gambhir to open with Warner. Reckon the Aussie coach prevailed.
Now Gambhir finds himself opening for India. Facing his DD spearhead, Nannes. What does he do – not much, it’s been a while he opened; anything other than his mouth.
As for Warner, all that time spent opening in India, facing spinners, sure helped him. What does he do - rams 6s of spinners like he grew up facing them.
I don’t know if Gambhir realises it, but he’s lost his clarity, simplicity, aloofness. He should stop trying to be somebody he isn’t – drop the talk, bat.
Crashrafool surprises
Oh those elegant shots that nearly took the Deshis to victory against Pakistan. So heroic, so sexy! It seemed that Crashrafool had finally stopped celebrating his birthday. He even reached a fifty! Bangladesh didn’t win of course but at least Crash had tried this time. Some breathed sighs of relief, some merely raised their eyebrows. Others checked to see if Earth had perished.
In the next game, those that breathed sighs of relief sighed in despair. The eyebrow raisers raised their eyebrows even higher and the others checked to see if Earth had glued itself back together. Crash had customarily started his birthday celebration again.
It is perfectly clear why Crashrafool went out for a duck against the Aussies. These were the same men he had whipped to make a name of himself, expect with a plucked chicken for a captain. There were expectations after the match against Pakistan. People were banking on Crashrafool to work his magic! Unfortunately, Crashrafool pulled his over-done trick out of the hat...a duck that accompanies him back to the pavilion.
It is not clear however why Crash had made the 65 against Pakistan. What was going through his empty skull he uses for a mind? Why did he decide to make runs all of a sudden? Why did he look like the Crashrafool that we all pined to see? Why did he decide not to keep this identity in the next game?
All complicated questions with one simple answer. The performance against Australia was a surprise birthday party. We didn’t know it was coming, but it was definitely pleasant and of course short. Also, it will return after a very long time. What is the purpose of a surprise birthday party if it comes every day? No point. Zero. Niente.
Just like Crashrafool’s score for eons to come.
by Purna
who blogs at Cricket Minded
Back and Forth...
Ireland struggling to retain their players, goes the report.
The well-documented case of Morgan being a free man to represent England rather than his country, apart, one hears that Ed Joyce, once the bright future of English Cricket, prior to that of Irish Cricket, now wants to be the future of Irish Cricket again.
Pedanticism about ICC rules apart(and I know a certain gentleman who will bring the "rules" in now), one wonders how certain writers and premier cricket portals will react, if it was India poaching players in a similar fashion. Whines will abound, irrespective of conformity to rules. "It is not Cricket", the cry will go around.
If ICC is committed to the development of associate nations, what is it going to do about this? Clearly, this is not a case of Darren Patinson, whom Australia will not touch with a bargepole, getting into a pathetic English side. This is systematic poaching of a country's best players by its big-brother neighbour, by exploitation of loop holes in rules. Isnt this cynical? Isnt this a complete negation of ICC's pledge to develop cricket in associate nations? On one hand, ICC pumps in funds and programmes to develop Irish Cricket, and on the other, allows emigration of star players to England, systematically? How, pray, will an Irish school boy get the inspiration to aspire for representing Ireland in Cricket?
Of course, India has enough troubles pruning its selection to 15 players without leaving out equally deserving candidates so ICC is unlikely to run into a bitter situation where lesser countries like India exploit this rule. But, be sure of one thing - if and when that happens, there will be whining in certain countries, most of all, England, about India's big-brother poaching tendencies and how bad BCCI is for World Cricket, and how it is crushing Cricket in a neighbouring country.
In that context, one wonders if Pakistan should take in Afghanistan as an additional domestic team now, and ensure that the best among their current players are qualified and groomed for the 2015 world cup - to play for Pakistan. That will ensure that this rule is altered, and qualifying for another country made more stringent.Because an ICC rule is good only until it exclusively favours England, you know
Bored Game : World T20 League Update
After Ten Games we have Technosiastic comfortably in first position but has no transfers left, followed closely by 5 teams separated by 110 points, this just shows how competitive our league is and a testament to how it will survive in the long run! Amongst the bunch of five we have rojonigondha leading the pack in at 2nd and TechieGuy 3rd. Ex-IBL Chief Mahek and Yours Truly in 4th and 5th positions respectively. We have Achettup, Purna (making her Debut) and Homer in 19th, 24td and 27th respectively. Given how the recent matches have been decided by D/L Method has added an element of surprise to the league and will continue to be more interesting as we move into the business-end of the tournament. A superlative performance from a trump player can propel franchise from the mid 20's into the top 5 ! Hence the present standings count for absolutely nothing !
Chairman and Commissioner
Bored Game : World T20 league
Just say NO!
In its quest to maintain India's No.1 Test ranking the BCCI has sent a proposal to Cricket Australia to convert the seven-match ODI series in October to two Tests and three ODIs. India had climbed to the top spot in 2009, after drubbing Sri Lanka 2-0 at home, and then retained the ranking by fighting back to level the two-Test series against South Africa in February.
--
Upon reading this, I had an "I Told You So" moment. And yet, there was a certain inevitability to this. Ever since the Test Match Nazis started carping from the sidelines that the BCCI is not interested in Test cricket, pointing to the 2009-10 season to emphasize their point, it was only a matter of time before the BCCI caved in.
First it was South Africa and the two test series. Now it is Australia.
Without dwelling too much into why a Two Test series is no series at all, I would like to take this opportunity to point out, once again, India's schedule starting December 2010 - 24 Tests between Dec 2010 and Mar 2012. 15 months 24 Tests and if that does not indicate that India is a serious Test playing nation, held hostage to the vagaries of the ICC FTP, then nothing else will.
Now, coming to the Australia series and why it is imperative for India to "kindly withdraw" its rather generous offer.
For starters, it is a two match series.
Secondly, what purpose does it serve India playing the third rank nation in the world in a 2 Test series? Its not going to make a huge difference to the points table unless we sweep, and there is always the danger that we might slip if we either draw or lose the series. Its not like playing Australia in a 2 Test series in India will have a huge bearing on our away tours to South Africa, England or Australia. In fact, the Champions League in South Africa will have a greater bearing on our Test performances there. So, other than keeping the Nazis at bay, how does an hastily announced Test series help us?
As far as Australia go, their itinerary over the next 6 months looks like this
5 ODIs versus England in England
2 Tests and 2 T20 versus Pakistan in England
7 ODIs versus India
3 ODIs and 1 T20 versus Sri Lanka
The Ashes
So, in the lead up to the Ashes, Australia have very little by way of competitive Test cricket. And if the 2 Test seres against Pakistan is discounted, Australia have no Test cricket under their belt since February 2010, when they played New Zealand away.
India offers them a trifecta
1. Playing the #1 Test nation in the world in their back yard and the hard fought cricket that guarantees.
2. The opportunity to move up the ICC rankings
3.The sham of a 2 test series and the deniability it brings
Win or lose in India, Australia stand to win. If they lose the series, "it was an away series", "it was against the #1 team in the world", "the pitches were doctored" and "A two test series proves nothing", "a hastily ordered series" and "The Ashes are the real deal". If they win , the confidence boost in the lead up to the Ashes coupled with a change in the rankings coupled with the bragging rights.
And in both cases, a good, intense workout in the lead up to the Ashes. Which is basically what the Australians need, more than anything else.
And there are additional benefits, as enunciated by Malcolm Conn
"Firstly, they will need to be played on pitches with reasonable pace and bounce because slow, low, turning pitches could prove counter-productive.
And the BCCI would need to wipe out the seven one-day matches Australia owes it even if the number was reduced to fit in two Tests."
Add to it the debt the BCCI will owe the CA for "acquiescing to their request" for a 2 test series.
So, for now, JUST SAY NO!
Fudge it!
--
16 June 2009
Incensed by the comparison, Duckworth scorned the inventor of VJD. "He uses what we call a Delphic method. He tries to give people what they feel is a fair answer and he keeps fiddling his figures to do it."
The Mahi-meter
There’s a change in thanks - Raina could hardly thank Sachin after his hundred. He did the next best thing in Indian cricket, thanked MS. When exactly did MS take Raina under his wing – the move to CSK is now three season’s old. Coming in at one down is not entirely new for Raina, but with MS’s trigger-happy position swapping, it’s a biggie that Raina continues to come one down, not just for CSK but for India in T20. To grab the position in one-dayers could take longer for Raina, but with runs and MS backing him, not that long.
Raina is lucky, as is Yusuf Pathan. Both have been on the Mahi-meter. RP Singh was, but how long can you push a guy for a smile that’s steadier than his bowling.
Nohit Sharma is off the radar. After not coming off as an opener in the previous edition, even an out of touch BossDK is picked over him – argument is clear, BossDK opens, albeit with limited success, Nohit opened, but with no success.
So it’s down to Yusuf Pathan vs Nohit Sharma; Yusuf darts it in the power-play, and is your big match-changer on reputation. Nohit can bowl, but isn’t called on with the same regularity, not in the IPL at least. On perception, Yusuf is your big-hitting all-rounder, who plays with the threat of a match-winner.
Whereas Nohit is a finisher, he’s been batting late for India, and finishing for the Chargers. He bowls occasionally, but much less than Yusuf.
From a few months back, when I couldn’t care less for either player, I think both have acquitted themselves somewhat – Yusuf has stopped chewing gum, his head’s steadier, and he doesn’t go out first ball. He still threatens to. He had a monster season before being picked again – and has been able to do the tough math that he has to think and hit rather than the other way round.
As for Nohit Sharma, when he catches them like a juggler, you want him in the side for his catching alone. It’s a dying art, every team should be duty bound to play a bloke for his fielding alone. And much as Nohit’s dull-head disposition can be a put-off, (and his shot selection as appalling as Yusuf’s), this is his time – bet he knows that too, as does Yusuf. Back home, Uthappa must think the same, but he’ll have to wait.
Nohit is up against it – 3 games in the super 8s – how much rope with Mahi give Yusuf? Right now Nohit Sharma’s best shot at making the eleven is shitty. Somebody in the middle order will have to get diarrhoea this time.
A film on Lalit Modi.
There could be a film made on Lalit Modi – and I thought he was a motion picture already. I’m glad Madhur Bhandakar denies making it, it’ll be low budget with no production values, and street art doesn’t go with Modi.
Ideally that guy who made Benhur should make Modi, but Modi is a self-made man. Also, Wyler’s dead, and dead men walk but don’t make movies.
Then there’s talk that SRK could play LKM – must be initial talks. Why don’t they make it like that film based on Dylan, with various actors playing Modi. That way you can get the whole damn franchise owners to play Modi (or did he play them) – imagine, Zinta as Modi, Shetty as Modi, Dr M as Modi, India Cements and MGR as Modi.
Here are some priceless bits –
"The film is a great mix of entertainment, sports and a whole emotional vibe. Lalit's story has all the ingredients - rags to riches, fame, money and all that Indian audiences are going to enjoy watching. Indians at large would love to watch a good cricket marketing film," he added.
Singh also hinted at a presence of major cricket players in the movie.
"They are a part of the script because it happens to be based on IPL that has around 200 cricketers in it. They do happen to be a part of the cast unless any cricketer has a strict objection to being in the film," he said.
OK, so Bhajji, Lee, Yuvi are in. If need be, Bhajji and Lee will play double roles, and Yuvi is already double. Priety Zinta and Shilpa Shetty will be there, and if they really want to make a nice, seedy film, rope in the Bhatts too. Emraan Hashmi will make it for free.
As for playing Modi, I believe this man should get the role -
No Need for Two Weeks
Dear Bored Members and the Passionate Followers of IBL,
I do not need two weeks to prepare my defense to the utterly frivolous charges against me. I have conducted the business of the League with utmost integrity and passion. Allow me to reveal the men who tried to bring the game to disrepute.
One of the esteemed Bored Members had a benami stake in Jatman's team. The Bored Member violated the spirit of equal opportunity by only buying players from his country. This league was based on equality, what with each franchise being given $1,000,000 to buy talent. I was offered money and when I declined, was threatened of being removed from my post.
My conscience was clear and I considered it my moral responsibility to move out of my job. At the end of the day, one has to be able to look themselves in the mirror even if they are as ugly as Shilpa Shetty without makeup. Hence, I contacted Bored Member Achettup to take over the reins of the IBL before the start of the next tournament. However, Bored Member Achettup had other commitments. Thankfully, vice-president Aditya stepped forward and showed the IBL is beyond mere personalities. I have full faith in his ability to run it in a smooth and fair manner.
Also, I would like to respond to Shri Thiru Cumaran's allegations of me bribing international players during the New Zealand v/s Australia series.
Mr. Cumaran, I'm afraid you have continued to underperform even after your underwhelming stint with the Indian team. You had accused me of, and I quote,
"He is known to have paid all the NZ and Australia bowlers to bowl tripe for the 2nd T20 to ensure a thriller. He paid extra to the Australia bowlers to ensure that Brendon McCullum made a century."
Allow me to point out to you that the T20 leg of said series was not even considered for scoring points. It was only the ODIs and Test Matches for which the game was active, so clearly your allegations are flawed.
Lastly, I would like to say that I am extremely disappointed by the conduct of everyone concerned. This has been a witch hunt against me and unlike the perpetrators of this hunt I will not lower myself to their level by revealing the names of those behind it. They are naked in public for all of us to see.
Sincerely,
Mahek Vyas
