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Loosely translated, Kotha is a brothel.
From Ishant to Irfan
After Irfan's letter, here's Ishant's reply
Hi Irfan bhai,
Gauti just read your mail to me. I would’ve asked Gauti to write you a longer mail but I gotta go to the parlour to do my hair for this New Year’s bash that I’m going to with Gauti and some other dudes.
Ishu
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST- 7
Continuing on from #6,not only has ST got a wonderful century but he has carried on from there. At the point where we come in now , he is on 195. However , the ninth wicket has fallen and he now needs to bat in the company of XX the no.11 . But XXX is injured and needs a runner.
And the runner, sadly for ST, is : yes, DK. Life has its dangerous ironies.
You and I can predict the eventual outcome and we see no point in labouring over the indelicate and painful details. For those still wanting to know, the summary is as follows :
XX Run Out 0 , BiggBosST Not Out 195.
When questioned later about the rather unusual run out, DK was very articulate. He regretted that in a day-dreamy moment , he had suffered a brief lapse of clarity and in that confused moment began to wonder why he had suddenly become the square leg umpire and why the batsmen were frantically waving at him. By the time he realised he was the runner it was too late. DK went on to state that in all fairness ,had he actually been the square leg umpire he would not have ruled that out. He also expressed relief that it was XX who had gotten out and not ST. ST, incidentally, was not available for comment. In fact, he was not available for anything as he had locked himself up in the dressing room where – or so rumour has it anyway - there was some violence inflicted on furniture.
7 villains of the Kotla fiasco
1. Daljit Singh: For saying it’s a common sense that a pitch is never at its best in the first 6-12 months and also revealing that the entire square at Kotla, which houses seven pitches, was relaid in April;
2. Vijay Bahadur Mishra: A scam, a hoax. He is a DDCA Sports Committee member who doubles up as curator! He is basically a kit-seller. Talk to any of the kids and they would tell you it’s mandatory for them to buy his stuff only;
3. Chetan Chauhan: For saying Sangakkara & Co chickened out. They should have waited till someone got decapitated, he perhaps meant. He said he played on worse tracks. But then we too stayed in caves at some point of time;
4. Arun Jaitley: The holy cow at DDCA who needs the goons for those proxy votes but still claims that moral high ground;
5. Sports Committee: An assortment of petty criminals, shady thugs and middlemen who can’t tell a mid-on from a midwicket but have completely hijacked DDCA with Jaitley’s quiet patronage;
6. BCCI Tour and Fixture Committee: For their association-appeasing rotation policy, which they often conveniently bend whenever it suits them. Lalit Modi & Co don’t consider weather/ground conditions/schedule when doling out matches. They knew Delhi is unfit to host any match at least till April next year but still they scheduled it here;
And finally
7. Kotla crowd: For their sheer lethargy that allowed the DDCA officials to return unscathed from the ground.
From Irfan to Ishant
Dear Ishant,
I was once like you are now – screwed. I hated to bowl, but the captain and coach refused to believe I was screwed. The kept throwing the ball to me. And what could I do, I would bowl – absolute filth. Wish I had the courage to tell them to f**k off, at least today I would feel proud of something. But no, I took the ball, new ball, old ball, and bowled such filth even the highlights guys said they can’t package them.
I wanted to give up, but that Guru Greg he wanted me to be a batsman – tell you honest, I didn’t think I was a man then. Each night I prayed, please drop me from the team, don’t make me bowl more filth – I’ve lost my action, control, swing, I’ve basically lost it.
There were days when Yusuf and I played in the galli, I thought his medium pace was better than mine – I puked on the ball, only then I got a wicket, because the batsman refused to play it.
Ishant, I am only writing this letter to you because your name sounds like mine.
No, that’s a joke, I feel a connection with you. We both f***ed up, but that’s part of growing up.
We were born with it, and nobody can take that from us, not Greg not even us.
Best of luck, hope we come to our senses soon,
God bless,
Irfan Bhai
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST- 6
This world has its surprises. The fact that BiggBosST has become apprehensive about having BossDK at the other end of a partnership is not one of them. That apprehension, though ,has come to impact ST's game and plans in rather surprising ways. As the following illustrates.
XX has just lost his wicket at the point where we come into the game. At the other end , ST - on a fine 90 - is less than pleased. For the next man is , yes ,DK whom ST - for understandable reasons - doesn't want in at this stage. He waves frantically at the pavilion to get them to change the order. To no avail . DK walks in with the usual air of brisk purpose that has endeared him to so many. He has a quick word with ST , brushes gloves - you are no doubt aware that their understanding is legendary - and walks across to take guard.
Then a strange thing happens. We see ST have a chat with the bowler YY . He seems to be saying something urgent , something serious , apparently trying to impress something of great importance upon him. YY looks increasingly more puzzled as he listens but nods in agreement at the end.
DK starts with a single off the first ball and this brings ST on strike to face YY. YY comes in , bowls . A bouncer , directed in line at the wicket , at a slightly uncomfortable height and , ooh , ST has ducked right into it ! Golly , that would have hurt. Indeed , it must have hurt. As ST has started walking towards the pavilion. Retired hurt. On the way out we seen him nod at YY in a sort of acknowledgement. What spirit , what character !
And the pavilion is where ST remains until the fall of DK's wicket. At which point , he walks back in , resumes his innings and goes on to complete a very fine hundred.
(To be continued)
DDCA: Married to the mob.
Hat tip Sunny's fb comment: Do you think the DDCA realised there was much more money to be made renting out Feroz Shah Kotla for weddings than having these cricket matches ? There is an extreme shortage of open spaces in central Delhi and huge traffic jams on the MG road to all those farmhouses!
Laugh more on DDCA's expense - Revealed: What went into the Kotla pitch
Bhajji's on the road.
Today morning's Mail Today had one of those group photographs - MS, Bhajji, Viru and Ishant. Appears the four of them have new websites.
MS' page opens on a white collared exec and this spiel:
"Mahendra Singh Dhoni (born 7 July 1981 in Ranchi) is an Indian cricketer and the current captain of the Indian team. Initially recognised as an extravagantly flamboyant and destructive batsman, Dhoni has come to be regarded as one of the coolest heads to captain the Indian ODI side."
Any more spiel and it would've been a spielberg.
Bhajji's page opens with Bhajji on the road. No TMKs.
Viru's page has some boring spiel, but there's this nice quote by the nice Chappell
"Sehwag can change the course of a match with the ease of Moses parting the red sea"
Ishant's page, why bother. But if you must know they start of by saying "With a physique and attitude of a young Javagal Srinath..." Poor Srinath, retirement isn't easy.
10 New Year Resolutions That Will Never Come True
10. New Zealand batsmen: We won't let Dan "The Man" Vettori come to the crease before the scoreboard reads 200.
9. Australian batsmen: We will put the team before personal milestones by bringing up our hundreds with a six.
8. Ian Healy: I will not wear baggy green thongs to the Channel 9 commentary box.
7. Rohit Sharma: I will not throw away my wicket.
6. Ravi Shastri: I will refrain from using cliches like "Down to the wire" and "Like a tracer bullet".
5. Pakistan Team: We will hold on to our catches.
4. Sunil Gavaskar: I will not mention Sachin Tendulkar in every other sentence I speak.
3. Harbhajan Singh: I will take wickets.
2. Lalit Modi: I will not monetise every trivial event during an IPL game.
And the Number One New Year Resolution for 2010 That Will Never Come True is...
Drumroll...
More Drumroll...
Bored Cricket Crazy Indians: We won't bore our patrons with any more Thank You Sachin posts!!!!
Last and final call for Younis Khan.
By now you know that Younis Khan could be on the next flight to Sydney. He’s been on standby ever since the Melbourne test went according to plan, that is abysmally wrong. Younis being a Pak ex-captain was expecting this; he had his bags packed as he heard S&G’s Homeward Bound backwards.
Till tea, fourth day, the test has had only one flow; after tea is when it reverted to a classic Pak test, ebb, flow, ebb and flow, and sometimes flow and ebb.
It was in the post tea session that Younis was put on high alert; he was on call. The smile was back as he patted random travellers and high fived a few youngsters at the Karachi airport. He urged his mobile to ring, a call from MoYo, even his ringtone had been changed to the appropriate, “AHJA AHJA…AAAH!” (come, come…come!)
To be honest, the phone did ring a few times. Each time Younis started to gyrate like some Bollywood nymph, and then just when he was through with his item number, the phone would stop ringing.
Deal is, after a wicket, a partnership had started to develop. The first phone rang at 18/1 when Farhat fell. And as Younis took his time to take the call, Salman Butt and Faisal Iqbal already got into partnership mode.
It is known that MoYo can change his mind abruptly; his shenanigans of calling and then disconnecting, not something new, ask Kapil Dev if you don’t believe me.
Of course Younis called MoYo back, whose ringtone was appropriately “Kabhi haan, kabhi naa” ('times yes, 'times no); as expected MoYo didn’t take the call. Why would he, that’s not the nature of the beast.
And then, Butt played across to one; MoYo was mortified – how could he, this chokada? Padded and set to walk out, MoYo decided to call Younis one more time, and tell him, “Arey, board kar plane, kayamat aah gayi hai yahaan…”
But did he get to tell him? Younis’ phone rang, and how he danced, he knew Butt was gone; he was still enjoying the replay on the giant flat screen, doing his gig, beaming, high fiving random travellers.
Now even though it wasn’t a T20, you still have to get there and bat. Why wasn’t Younis answering – MoYo was going mad. Misbah muttered from behind, “Ja yaar, Ja”
Always being in two minds, MoYo walked with bat, and mobile phone. But that incident the Late Cronje had with the Late Woolmer; ear implants are disallowed; and MoYo chucked his mobile in disgust.
As it wasn’t a 3 Mobile, the sponsors didn’t take the call. Elsewhere, Younis wildly repeated, “Yousuf bhai, Yousuf bhai…bhai??!”
But all he could hear were abusive Aussie kids, and drunken wankers. A rare black sea pearl shaped tear drop appeared, and then disappeared; it was as if Younis had never cried.
Almost ten overs later when Faisal fell, Younis’ hopes rose…MoYo asked for a drink, the drink came, he asked the drink’s boy for his mobile, but the mobile never came.
It was trampled upon by the drinks’ boy, who kept telling his mates, “my feet are talking – strange airport announcement sounds” They thought he was mad.
Fifty four runs and no wickets later, MoYo and Umar Akmal returned, to fight and call another day – Younis meanwhile sits in the Terminal, thinking about that Tom Hanks movie he once saw. Can cricket imitate the movies?
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST - 5
They say statistics do not reveal everything. True. What the records certainly do not reveal is the fact that BossDK happens to be an extremely large-hearted and caring sort of a person. What he lacks by way of runs (and perhaps - or at least as ST will see it- safe partnerships) he makes up with empathy and selfless support for those around him. Sometimes with rather unusual consequences.
We come in at the point during a Day-Nighter when BossDK and BiggBosST are batting under the lights. ST has been playing another splendid gem and is now on 94. It's been a high adrenaline innings. XX bowls to him and ST gives him the charge. Bang ! There she goes , ST goes for his century with this audacious six , will he make it ?
The ball goes high,high,high up in the air. It's heading straight down fielder YY's throat at the boundary. But YY is unsighted by the lights ! Looks like he is going to spill it. That's sad for YY because he has been under tremendous pressure for his poor fielding. He will almost certainly be dropped from the side if he drops this one !
DK is aware of this and feels deeply for YY. Instinctively he starts hollering directions from the non-striker's end. " Run forward !" , "To the right now ! " , " some more !" , " Ye..ss !" and his guidance works to perfection,it being the only reason why YY takes that catch.
Dear Bored friend , we have a tragic scoreline here , viz : BiggBosST - c. YY b.XX 94
DK sinks to his knee and groans in agony as he realises what he has done. It is a feeling that will not leave him for some time to come. Then and there he resolves that he will make up for this.
The opportunity arrives at the next match.We come in again , by a happy coincidence (for this post) at a similar situation. ST is facing on 98 now. The ball is an excellent bouncer that takes ST by surprise. ST goes for the hook but ends up top edging it. The ball balloons up high in the air giving the keeper enough time to get under it. Looks like ST's gone there , it's a dolly !
DK grabs the opportunity to make amends. He starts shouting at the keeper to drop the catch. A hoarse "Drop that man ! Come on , you'll drop it anyway ,pal !" rings all around the stadium. And it works ! The distracted wicketkeeper spills that catch ! But. Big But.
So engrossed has DK been with this that he has completely missed ST setting off for a run while the ball is in the air. In fact , it still doesn't register when he finally notices ST midway down the pitch. He thinks ST's already walking and beckons to him to go back to the crease. "Its alright , he has dropped the catch, ST bhai !" , DK says gleefully without budging an inch. ST's reply is unprintable as he tries to scramble back but , ah , too late. The keeper's throw has dislodged the bails with ST inches out of the crease.
Dear Bored friend , the new scoreline is no less tragic , viz : BiggBosST - run out 98
You and I , dear Bored friend , empathize with the large hearted , caring and always-well-intentioned DK. That's a point of difference between ourselves and BiggBosST then.
Selfish Partners.
Yeeru and Hauti were building a huge partnership. Then it happened. A misunderstanding whereby both of them were competing for the same crease. Neither wanted to go and it took the third umpire to decide Hauti had to go. Hauti went cursing and eventually, though they made up, the selfishness of Indian Cricketers was exposed.
Eminencies reacted thus:
Steve Pough: Anyone wearing the baggy green implicitly puts the team first. If this had happened to Australia, both batsmen would have been competing to sacrifice their wicket rather than bickering to stay
Pricky Ranting: It is not about scoring centuries. You must play for the team. I would have taken one on the chin for the team and not stayed bickering there, exposing the lack of unity in team. Of course, you can't expect that from Sub-continentals.
(exit stage, murmuring, "Sach scored another century, with even that pesky DK being smart enough not to hit the winning runs. Wish I played for India - I could actually have centuries instead of mouthing platitudes on team spirit)
Ian Slipper: This is what happens when you place personal records above the team. It was bound to happen in India, of course. This will never happen in Australia
Greg Slipper: I told you, Indian culture sucks!
Michael Chalker: Aw! Look mate, we Ozzies will never be so selfish to fight publicly for staying on.
And so on...
All characters and incidents in the story are imaginary. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental!
by Raj
When the Sanaths go marching in.
I want to be in that number. Who wouldn’t want to open with Sanath – Atapattu aside, I can’t think of anyone.
Just look back, they say it’s twenty years of Sanath Jayasuriya, I say it’s more than that. At least 40. Then they say that’s his age, but I say he’s been playing international cricket ever since he was a little cricket nymph. Bonking balls over third man till there was no man in sight; Sanath is the man who made averages redundant; he’s the guy who gave strike rates a new meaning in one day cricket. He made an average of 30 inconsequential because it came at a strike rate of 90.
It’s taken Indian cricket a decade to decode that – through Sehwag’s slump, they spoke of his 20s and 30s; not once did they mention his stratospheric strike rate. The media which sucks up to Sehwag now, are the same guys who did him in a few years back – when it came down to a toss-up between Ganguly and Sehwag, they conveniently positioned Dada’s 10k runs against Viru’s lesser numbers.
Talking of numbers, I’m going to toss Sanath’s ODI numbers alongside Viru’s – their batting averages are similar (32 and 34); strike rates (91.2 and 102.9). While Sanath’s 91 is snappy, seeing as he’s been playing since Sachin (1989); the 100 plus is Sehwag’s ode to one day cricket in the 2000s. Indian cricket though, refused to look beyond the 30 something average; must make them happy it’s shot up from 32 to 34 in the last year or so.
Now chew on the bowling numbers: identical strike rates of 46. This is how it works: Sanath strikes every 46 balls, and as if in solidarity so does Sehwag. Economies are on the higher side, but then if they like smashing bowlers, there’s no reason they won’t want to get smashed themselves: each ball’s a tequila-shot for these guys.
While Sanath stops, hops, bowls, claps for the ball to be returned for a possible run-out; Sehwag resembles one of those canny kids bowling off spin in a Dilli maidan. I can go on about their bowling averages (36 and 40), economies, but frankly there’s no point to it. One bowls much less than the other; plus there are always some ribald jokes to be had. Hats off!
The (birth)Mark Of A Raja
While he is passionate about a diverse range of interests from digital marketing to Iron Maiden,what this doctor of numbers also brings to the BCC! table is a penchant for reaching his analytical arm up the “miniskirt of statistics” and extracting such pleasurable gems as – to name but a few - indepth performance analyses of the various international teams,
The Kar That Drives Indian Cricket and The Mark Of A Man (named Ramprakash , by the way – remember him ?). It doesn’t stop at miniskirts though. In fact , he skirts absolutely no cricketing issues. Among other accomplishments and contributions , he has scooped so high as to manage the considerable feat of having the ICC speak to BCC! on WADA.
The list can go on but I need to stop at this point to make an announcement.
Bored ladies and gentlemen, I give you a pillar of the BCC! house : RajaB who celebrates a special day today
The list can go on but I need to stop at this point to make an announcement.
Bored ladies and gentlemen, I give you a pillar of the BCC! house : RajaB who celebrates a special day today
Happy Bored Day,RajaB – continue to reach it up and keep ‘em coming
YOU SON OF A PITCH!!
It was scary watching, so you can imagine what it was like in the middle, very scary. Seems to me this was a reactive pitch – in reaction to the criticism some of the Kotla wickets got in the Champions League. That the Daredevils lost the only game I attended must have sealed the deal.
The way the ball jumped from a good length you’d think the groundsman had popped some Viagra in. Hard on the batsmen alright, but it’s funny when you see that none of the five dismissals were Viagra induced. There’s also an alternate theory which claims Kandamby’s bulk did the wicket in.
Let it be known, it was only after Kandamby had frolicked for nearly 30 minutes that the match was suspended. If I was Sanga, I would’ve declared the Lankan innings @83 for five.MSD seemed keen enough to play on this wicket, perhaps he should have come at one down.
Of course there are those people who will blame Sachin, and claim he knew about the wicket all along and that’s why he sat out – personally I think that’s irresponsible comment, and while Sachin is indeed the son of Indian cricket, he is no son of a pitch.
Follow Bored Cricket@twitter #sonofapitch
Batty about batting.
Bhajji is known to be a trendsetter; and while the tri colour was waved before he became the team’s flag bearer, it is his role as a lower order batsman that is turning Indian cricket upside down.
It is a known fact the bowlers refuse to bowl in the nets, they all want a hit. And when some kids aren’t there to turn their arm over, the batsmen have to bowl to the bowlers; that doesn’t make sense but that’s how it is.
If you’re surprised how part-timers like Raina, Sehwag, Yuvraj are stepping up to fulfill the fifth bowler’s role, don’t be – they get plenty of practise in the nets.
This change is visible beyond team India, in the Ranji sides as well – Agarkar bats at 6, and scores runs like he’s making them of his own bowling. Then there’s forever young Piyush Chawla, he’s up at seven, sometimes six, other times eight.
Looks like a perfect candidate for MSD’s side, where batting positions are as provocative as the Kamasutra. Today you’re on top, tomorrow way down, and sometimes you have to make do, sitting sideways, on the bench.
That’s the case with Praveen Kumar; and even though he opened in some games, chipped in with a few handy knocks for India lower down, he just doesn’t have the hair ‘n’ flair of an Ishant. But PK, being the trier he is, is working on it as we speak.
So too Irfan Pathan, who’s played some killer knocks in the Ranji for Baroda; in fact such has been his focus on batting that he often bowls with his bat.
It’s a worrying sign alright, Chawla, Irfan, Praveen, Agarkar, all batty about batting. Who the hell, will bowl? As always, Bhajji will have some answers, once he gets those gloves off.
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST – 4
It’s a minefield of a green top pitch. The batting side has had a disastrous start. At one point they were reeling at 10-5. BossDK and BiggBosST, however, have since steadied the ship to a considerable extent. BossDK has absorbed countless blows but has carried on with remarkable courage. No less than four times has ST proposed to DK that they refer the pitch to the umpires with a view to calling the game off but DK has refused. ST has been at his most masterly. Far from being in any sort of trouble , he is playing possibly one of the greatest innings of all time.
We come in at the point where ST is on 93 and facing the last ball of the 22nd over. DK is on a painstakingly compiled 13. The pitch seems to have evened out now and while still challenging is certainly fit for play.
21.6 XX to ST. FOUR ! Shot ! Short of a length ball , rises , gets big on ST but ST plays a controlled slash that goes over the slip cordon and is one bounce into the fence. Terrific stuff here ! ST goes to 97 with that boundary.
Brief mid pitch conference between overs. Batsmen punch hands. Their understanding is legendary.
22.1 YY to DK. Comedy ! Rank bad ball . Short ,wide and and asking to be hit. DK positions himself for the square cut but at the last moment slips awkwardly and falls face down.
Then the strangest thing happens. DK walks up to ST , hurriedly says something to him and without waiting for ST’s reply rushes to the umpires and the fielding captain and speaks very animatedly. Turns out he wants the match to be abandoned ! Which is strange because the wicket has surely improved and the previous ball was just DK’s own error rather than any devil in the pitch. ST , the fielding side , the umpires , even the match referee …they all speak to DK but DK looks adamant. Chaos and confusion reigns for 14-15 minutes before DK finally agrees to resume play.
22.2 YY to DK. Risky run ! Puts that away directly to the fielder at deep extra cover and dashes off for the run. ST has to complete it in a hurry and just about makes it. DK clearly wants to off strike but at what cost ?
Another mid pitch conference. ST talks briskly to DK , no doubt about that run. He seems to be telling DK to remain calm. DK nods vigorously. Their understanding is legendary.
22.3 YY to ST. OUT ! Bowled him ! Oh dear , oh dear, what was that ? The ball was pitched up nicely enough for a bread and butter cover drive. But at the precise moment of pitching , DK at the non-striker points sharply with his arm and shouts a loud “ Yes, see ,that’s the spot !” That distracts ST who is momentarily unsighted and is bowled clean through the gates.
Oh dear , here we go again : ST bowled YY - 97
ST’s expression as he walks out or DK’s post match explanation …we shall not go into those.
This post is hereby abandoned.
Introducing Nohit Sharma, again.
Wasn’t he just shown the door?
Didn’t he make no runs, not a score
Where did the dream go wrong?
Didn’t seem to be on song
Be he’s such a lazy boy
Such a lazy boy
He sits on his LAZBOY
Playing his video games
Snacking on his potato chips
And then the door bell rings
But he’s such a lazy boy
Playing his video games
Snacking on his potato chips
And then the door bell rings
And rings
There’s someone knocking on his door
Knocking hard on his door
There’s Che and Vijay who hear the call
From not too far, just about next door
They think someone’s knocking on their door
There’s Badri too, he hears the call
But he knows better and doesn’t think at all
Nohit got a triple, it was Him, so it caused a ripple
Che scored a few, a few triples, but that don’t count
You can pile the runs, make a mount
But it don’t count, it don’t count
Coz he’s such a lazy boy
And the knocking gets harder
Some kid opens the door
A selector walks in
Overlooks his score
It is Nohit that they all adore
Coz he’s such a lazy boy
Selector: We have picked you for your lazy elegance
Nohit: dekhta nahin video game khel raha hoon..
SFX: Munching chips
Nohit Sharma is Bored Member Mahek's invention.
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST - 3
BiggBosST is batting on 98. BossDK is at the other end (naturally, or why else this post)
Mid pitch meeting. ST indicates to DK that there’s no hurry . They’d play it sensibly. DK nods. Their understanding is legendary.
The ball’s pitched up to ST nicely on the leg stump. ST turns it towards vacant square leg with a deft flick of the wrist. Easy two there, possibly even three, as they run the first one really hard.
Then a strange thing happens.
DK stops ST midway through the second run. “Congrats ST bhai, but is this your 27th or 28th test century”, he asks breathlessly
A stunned ST barely has time to growl a rapidfire “abey BossDK m******d paagal ho gaya hain kya!” while desperately trying to scramble towards safety.
Too late. It’s a direct hit.
ST is run out for 99.
He walks back to the pavilion in a rage, looking back only to glare at DK.
DK feels wants to dig a hole to bury himself in . How could he have made such a deadly mistake, he berates himself, everybody knows it would have been the 29th century, how could he have forgotten.
Cricket Carol.
Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls,
Jingle all the way
Santa Claus will bat you out
On a one horse open sleigh
Riding through the snow
Sixers all the way
Oh! What fun it is to bat
On a one horse open sleigh
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Had a cricket ball for a nose
And all the other reindeers
Didn’t know how to bowl with those
Deck the balls with Holly
Oh fa la la la la!
‘tis the season to be batty!
Oh fa la la la la!
I’m dreaming of a test Christmas
Just like I never thought it was
Test Christmas, test Christmas
The best Christmas you could have
Joy to the world and centuries all around
Hey! Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls
Jingle all the way
Santa Claus is coming to bat
In a one horse open sleigh
by Vandu
My first offering to BCC! after I gave them my husband.
Singles.
Gambhir dashes into the single’s bar, Viru responds, they slide in before closing time; fling trench coats, what do they see – a bar stool not taken, dart across; first extra moving in with larger from short mid off; too close to call, but they run for it anyway
Gambhir elbows larger man, spills, gets ugly, Viru secures stool, last order; the bouncer’s moved in, Viru asks for milk - Doodh?
Bartender slides doodh down the bar; second extra alongside sniggers, moves forward to stop glass of milk
Gambhir catches a glimpse from the corner of his eye, frees self from bouncer’s grasp, hurls self at the bar – grabs DOODH
Viru and Gauti hold the glass of milk together
"For a quick single we are ready to mingle"
Announcer: This may not make sense to you, but then neither does Viru's and Gauti's running
PS: For new time's sake, you can use Virat Kohli for Viru. Anyway, after seeing Gauti pass the Man of the Match award to Virat, Viru too handed his role to Virat. Virat played the part to perfection, that too, holding the MoM trophy, that oversized cheque and smile.
Look, Karthik did not stop Gambhir's hundred and fifty.
The cynics will say he tried, what with that four through covers. The optimists will say, it was the Lankan misfield. Anyway, 3 runs to win, 4 runs for Gambhir’s 150; good for him he had the strike – and he stuck, 4, 150 for Gambhir. You can’t blame Karthik for everything. One stumping and a 19 not out, he even lifted Gambhir, half mast, but he’s only a little man.
Much ado about Bond
For about a year and a half, I kept hearing comments from folks around the Sheep-Belt(New Zealand, they call it) and their brethren from certain other countries about how the evil IPL and Lalit Modi were keeping their lode star, a certain Shane Bond, away from Test Cricket. Time and again, we’d have articles from Toms, Dicks and Harrys (never found a more apt use of this phrase, I must confess!) which ran a variation of “Monster India conspiring to keep NZ from becoming #1 test nation a.k.a preventing Shane Bond from playing test cricket”.
So, what happens now? The man’s given a reprieve, and the opportunity to play Test Cricket until the sheep come home. What does he do? Promptly goes ahead and retires from Test Cricket.
So?
Show your faces, my dear Cricket-savers from Oz, Eng and NZ. Come and argue that it was the greed of Modi, not Bond, that was the cause for him not being able to play Test Cricket. I’d love to see your tails between your legs, which is where they should be, now.
by Raj
Bond Nominated For Retiree Of The Year.
Over at Bored Member Achettup's Short of a Length, The Crammies - Nominations for Retiree of the Year are Flintoff, Symonds, Benson, Bond, Bucknor and the League. (Note, none of the nominees are know to us on a first name basis so)
Opening for Bond, particularly impressive:
Shane Bond: Shane has always been very special. He has a last name that reminds you of all those horrible chemistry classes which dwell on elastomers or something like that.
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST : 2
It's yet another BossDK and BiggBosST partnership.
The top order has collapsed but BiggBosST is single-handedly keeping hopes alive with a brilliant innings. BossDK on the other hand has been struggling. He is on 11 off 70-odd (and painstaking) deliveries and is clearly out of sorts. The shots elude him even while the asking rate's mounting. However , he has provided steady support by preserving his wicket. It's now down to ST to try and take their team to an improbable victory.
We come in at the point where that victory looks more improbable than ever.
33 runs are required to win off the last 2.2 overs. ST is on 91 , DK on 11.
47.5 : ST takes a quick single. Good , sensible cricket.
32 now required off 13 balls. All that fans hope for now is an ST century. If ST's genius produces a miracle , that'd only be a bonus .
47.6 : Nonsense cricket ! DK jabs at the ball and immediately dashes across the pitch, compelling ST to complete that risky and undesirable run.
So that's 31 needed from 12. ST is on 92 , DK on 12 and on strike. The best bowler XX (match figures 7-1-17-5 ) brought on to bowl now. DK has to ensure that ST gets strike immediately. ST signals to DK , pointing out gaps for a quick single. DK nods vigorously.
Their understanding is legendary.
And then this is how the 49th over unfolds.
48. 1 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 2 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 3 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 4 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 4 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 5 : XX to DK. SIX !
48. 6 : XX to DK. SIX !
DK has scored the most shocking 48* in cricket history. And their team have won with an over to spare !!!
Man of the Match BiggBosST finishes with an unbeaten 92*
Sachin equals the Don at Cuttack - Lara remains supreme
Sachin's ninety odd runs at Cuttack were invaluable even though he missed his century. After all, nothing is perfect in life, the Don as lbw in his last innings missed a perfect average of one hundred. You could say Kartik was at fault but he would say 'I was just doing my job'. And, in fact it is quite believable that he was indeed doing his job.
But, then he could have done his job a little better. He is intelligent enough to know there was no hurry to finish the game. And, that Sachin could have completed his hundred if allowed to do so by his partner.
India however won and as Gavaskar used to say "it does not matter how the the runs come, as long as they come". Will Sachin return the favor to Kartik by perhaps running him out when the latter is a run short of his century. Only time will tell.
If i am not mistaken the Don needed four runs to achieve his hundred percent average. Sachin if i am not wrong needed 4 to reach his century. So, Sachin equals Don. All was not lost at Cuttack.
p.s. Brian Lara is the greatest because only he has scored that elusive four runs - hundred times to be the only batsman to have scored four hundred runs. Q.E.D.
by Roop Khanna
The continuing saga of BossDK and BiggBosST : 1
This is the first in a series of stories centered around the famous cricketing duo of BossDK and BiggBosST whose partnerships are the stuff of legend and folklore.
BiggBosST (ST) is on 99. BossDK (DK) is at the non-striker end. ST signals to DK to be prepared for a quick single off the next ball. DK nods in agreement. Their understanding is legendary.
ST takes guard. Faces up. Bowler runs in. Bowls.
Ball moves sharply back at ST and raps him on the pads. Hmm , looks close.
Loud appeal from fielding side. But it's turned down.
And then suddenly there is mega large scale commotion. A most peculiar incident has unfolded.
The non-striker - DK , yes ! - has refered the decision.
TV umpire upholds the appeal. ST has to walk back to the pavilion.
A despondent DK buries his head deep in his hands. Or, going by his keeping earlier that day, its probably his hands he has buried deep in his head.
My triples are prettier than yours.
Ever since Rohit Sharma was dumped from national duty, it appeared to me, he was just marking time – one innings from him, one injury to a player, and he’ll be back. Rohit knocked off a triple for Mumbai, not just any triple, but a Sehwagesque triple – 309* (322). Which is when I saw the return ticket go into print. Now that Yuvraj’s injury rules him out of the Bangladesh tour, I see Rohit’s return ticket almost mail-ready.
When he made that triple, I was thinking Che Pujara – how many triples has Che made? Why is he still not playing for India? Why must I read this at cricinfo - "Yuvraj could be replaced by batsman Rohit Sharma, who last week boosted his chances of a national recall with a triple-century for Mumbai against Gujarat during the Ranji Trophy."
Now I’m thinking what would’ve happened if Yusuf Pathan had scored anything, leave alone a hundred?
I’m also thinking, this is some fancy tour; India play Bangladesh and Sri Lanka twice each (great, so it’s really a 7 ODI series with Lanka) – 4 games in a week; from Jan 4 – 11; game days – 5th, 7th, 10th, 11th. Nice, second ODI after a 1 day break, third after a 2 day break, and fourth after a no day break.
Frankly I’m disappointed – when will we play two ODIs in a day; one day game and the other, a night game. Together they can be called day night games.
A little light banter, so you too can overlook Che, again.
DKNY's other name: Boss, DK
The Indianisation and Delhification of Dinesh Karthik is well underway; if we don't swear by his cricket, at least we can swear at the cricketer. Boss, DK - that's bored member namya's call at his post, Boss DK, why did you hit that six? While on twitter, bored member John was celebrating DK Diwas.
Dinesh Karthik has a ton
Of worries, that is.
It's 13 required to win off, oh, plenty of balls.
Sachin's on 91.
Dinesh Karthik clobbers the most potentially fateful six of his cricketing career.
Then the requirement's down to two and Sachin's up to 96.
And Dinesh Karthik flicks the most potentially fateful four of his cricketing career.
And it's all over.
The match , i mean.
Tsk, tsk, Dinny Boy. Now why did you have to go and do something that - to borrow the words from Sir Humphrey and his colleagues at Whitehall and employ them in that sense- novel and courageous ? Why the No Prime Minister, Dinesh ?
Unless.
Unless. Hmm, now hang on. This thing could be turned around on its head.
The MSD ban is for two ODIs, not two years - yes ? MickytakingWhythehecknot, one is told, is a jolly entertaining sport outside of the XI out in the middle. Keeda-if-not-Cap is apparently something of a rallying motto amongst the more spirited sections of the sporting populace. And all power to them. What fun and frolic for all !
Missed a trick , young Parthiv ?
;-))
Not such little differences.
When last did MSD bowl Sehwag in a one dayer? Good question, pass. Today, Sehwag brought himself on as early as the 16th over, bowled four overs straight, going round the wicket to left hander Tharanga first ball.
MSD prefers to not bowl Bhajji in the power play; today, Sehwag brought Bhajji on in the 14th. Also unlike MS, Sehwag did not bring Bhajji on to tackle the tail – instead, he chose to bowl Jadeja through.
Of course, once Jadeja was done, Bhajji came on in the 44th, but by then, so were the Lankans. Off late, Bhajji usually has the tailenders for dessert, but Nehra can be such a spoilsport.
Also noticed the stand in skipper and wicketkeeper are far more cheerful – but then picture Sehwag captaining and keeping or far that matter DKNY keeping and…ok, let’s not push it.
MS will be back on the 27th, till then Bhajji will be low key; will bat after the batsmen and bowl where a team’s frontline spinner should, in the first fifteen.
All I want for Christmas
is a ban or a fine, or both! Let me explain -
16 Dec day 1 - South Africa 1st innings 262/4 (JH Kallis 112*, JP Duminy 38*, 90 ov) - 90 overs
17 Dec day 2 - England 1st innings 88/1 (AJ Strauss 44*, IJL Trott 18*, 23 ov) SA all out 153.2 overs + 2 overs for change of innings + 23 -90 = 89 overs
18 Dec day 3 - South Africa 2nd innings 9/1 (GC Smith 6*, PL Harris 2*, 4 ov) GB all out in 104 overs + 2 overs for change of innings + 4 -23 = 87 overs
19 Dec day 4 - England 2nd innings 11/1 (AN Cook 4*, JM Anderson 6*, 6 ov) SA declared 85.5 overs + 2 overs for change of innings + 6 - 4 = 88 overs
20 Dec day 5 - England 2nd innings 228/9 (96 ov) - end of match - 90 overs
On the final day, play went on 44 minutes past the scheduled close of play.
From BBC Sport - Day 1 start 0832 end 1546 - Duration 7 hrs 14 mins
Day 2 start 0833 end 1600 - Duration 7 hrs 27 mins
Day 3 start 0834 end 1600 - Duration 7 hrs 26 mins
Day 4 start 0835 end 1558 - Duration 7 hrs 23 mins
Day 5 start 0833 end 1628 - Duration 7 hrs 55 mins
Now, from the ICC's Standard Test Match Playing Conditions
16.1 Start and Cessation Times
The Home Board shall determine the hours of play, subject to there being 6 hours scheduled play per day (Pakistan, a minimum of 5 hours), and subject to:
16.1.1 Minimum Overs in the Day
Subject to clause 16.1.2 below:
a) On days other than the last day, play shall continue on each day until the completion of a minimum target of 90 overs (or a minimum of 15 overs per hour) or the completion of the scheduled or rescheduled cessation time, which ever is the later but provided that play shall not continue for more than 30 minutes beyond the scheduled or rescheduled cessation time (permitted overtime). For the sake of clarity, if any of the minimum target number of overs have not been bowled at the completion of the permitted overtime, play shall cease upon completion of the over in progress. The overs not bowled shall not be made up on any subsequent day. b) On the last day, a minimum of 75 overs (or a minimum of 15 overs per hour) shall be bowled during the playing time other than the last hour of the match where clause 16.1.6 below shall apply. If any of the minimum of 75 overs, or as recalculated, have not been bowled when one hour of the scheduled playing time remains, the last hour of the match for the purposes of clause 16.1.6 shall be the hour immediately following the completion of these overs.
16.1.5 Change of Innings
Where there is a change of innings during a days play (exceptwhere the change of innings occurs at lunch or tea or when playis suspended for any reason) 2 overs will be deducted from theminimum number of overs to be bowled.The over in progress at the end of an innings is regarded as acompleted over for the purposes of determining the minimumnumber of remaining overs to be bowled in the day.
16.1.6 Last Hour
Law 16.6, 16.7 and 16.8 will apply except that a minimum of 15 overs shall be bowled in the last hour and all calculations with regard to suspensions of play or the start of a new innings shall be based on 1 over for each full 4 minutes (refer clause 16.1.9 below). On the final day, if both captains (the batsmen at the wicket may act for their captain) accept that there is no prospect of either side achieving a victory, they may agree to finish the match after (a) the time for the commencement of the last hour has been reached OR (b) there are a minimum of 15 overs to be bowled, whichever is the later.
15 Law 15 - Intervals
15.1 Law 15.3 - Duration of intervals
15.1.1 Luncheon Interval: The interval shall be of 40 minutes duration.
15.1.2 Tea Interval: The interval shall be of 20 minutes duration.
-
Factoring in 2 drinks intervals per day ( of 4 mins duration each), we get
Day 1 Actual Playing Time 6 hrs 6 mins
Day 2 Actual Playing Time 6 hrs 19 mins
Day 3 Actual Playing Time 6 hrs 18 mins
Day 4 Actual Playing Time 6 hrs 15 mins
Day 5 Actual Playing Time 6 hrs 47 mins
Now , from the ICC CODE OF CONDUCT FOR PLAYERS AND PLAYER SUPPORT PERSONNEL,
2 Calculating the Actual Over Rate
2.1 The actual over rate will be calculated at the end of each International Matchby those Umpires appointed to officiate in such International Match. In the case of Test Matches (or other International Matches of at least four days in duration), the actual over rate will be the average rate which is achieved by the fielding team across both of the batting team’s innings.
2.2 In calculating the actual over rate for an International Match, allowances will be given for the actual time lost as a result of any of the following:
2.2.1 treatment given to a Player by an authorised medical personnel on the field of play;
2.2.2 a Player being required to leave the field as a result of a serious injury;
2.2.3 all third Umpire referrals and consultations;
2.2.4 time wasting by the batting side (which may, in addition, constitute a separate offence pursuant to any of Articles 2.1.8, 2.2.11, 2.3.3 or 2.4.4 depending upon the context and seriousness of the incident); and 2.2.5 all other circumstance that are beyond the control of the fielding team.
2.3 In addition, the following time allowances will only be given in Test Matches (or other International Matches of at least four days in duration):
2.3.1 2 minutes per wicket taken, provided that such wicket results in the subsequent batsmen immediately commencing his innings.
For the avoidance of any doubt, no time allowance will be given for the final wicket of an innings or where a wicket falls immediately prior to any interval; and
2.3.2 4 minutes per drinks break taken (one per session).
2.5.2 where the actual over rate in any Test Match or any other International Match of at least four days in duration is more than five overs short of the Minimum Over Rate, or, in any One Day International Match, Twenty20 International Match or any other International Match of fifty (50) or twenty (20) overs per side, is more than two overs short of the Minimum Over Rate, such an offence shall be considered a ‘Serious Over Rate Offence’.
-
Now,
Day 1 there were 2 referrals. And 4 wickets fell - Extra playing time 6 mins
Day 2 there were 3 referrals. And 7 wickets fell - Extra playing time 19 mins
Day 3 there were 2 referrals. And 10 wickets fell. Extra playing time 18 mins
Day 4 there were 3 referrals. And 7 wickets fell Extra playing time 15 mins
Day 5 there were 4 referrals And 8 wickets fell. Extra playing time 47 mins.
Based on the above, there was a serious over rate problem on the part of the South Africans on Day 5. Which, by the defination laid down by the ICC, translates to a ‘Serious Over Rate Offence’
Which in turn means, "A captain guilty of a Serious Over Rate Offence is sanctioned "The imposition of two (2) Suspension Points."
So will my Christmas wish come true? Will Graeme Smith join MS Dhoni in cooling their heels as their teams play?
The ball then, is in Roshan Mahanama's court.
“I'm all for the last session of the fifth day being played first”
That was me on twitter during the last session of the fifth day, only it was being played last. Prior to this, funny how every time I say Prior, thought gets sidetracked.
But not this time. All I saw of this game prior to this last session was Ashwell Prince; and while there are many compelling reasons to watch cricket, he isn’t one of them. The IPL know this, and he wasn’t eaten up.
But the South Africa-England and New Zealand-Pakistan test series have been truly superb. There are no ad breaks. You see the players change ends, run errands, walk the dog. It’s sublime, so every day; I’ve really started to enjoy mid overs. The pace is a tad off mind you.
That was how it was and then I arrived on the last session. In fact the last leg of the last session – from 9 pm – 9.55 pm (IST). That’s when the wickets fell, the South African lived in hope (no Cape jokes) and became generally unbearable.
Of course, once Trott and KP were consumed, there were no more durable batsmen left, except Collingwood, not very perishable, is he?
Collingwood was made to save games, in a way, he’s like the poor man's Dravid. His place will always be in peril. Right now the ECB are questioning his innings, why didn’t he convert the first innings’ fifty? Before you know it, Trott will completely overshadow Collingwood as the shadow Prime Minister.
But today is his, again. He was the last batsman standing; his position in middle order at 5 seems just about right after Trott and KP, and England have something going for the series.
Don’t be surprised if they go on to bigger things from here. May not be the Ashes all over again, but this could be one tight series. Don’t waste too much time over it, but keep the post tea session on the fifth day open. Next time, who knows, it could be Boucher playing a Collingwood at Durban. For his sake, I hope Ntini isn’t non-striker. He’s no Onions, and doesn’t he know that.
PS: Talking about Ntini, why waste the last over on him - his bowling idiom has always been, "how to miss the stumps".
You can also read this one on poor Onions and his lot.
The English Jat.
To dump a lucrative blood sucking career as a lawyer, and embrace the selfless world of sport, it takes more than a Jat - an English Jat; that’s K, who lives in two time zones - while he works across India, his heart’s stuck in Warwickshire; he will even tell you the second w is silent. When in India, he’s played with Zee sports, the golf tour and Delhi Daredevils. Only natural then that Jatman was born in K’s first post at Bored. Happy Bored Day K-man!
C'mon man, read K's posts at Bored
When First is not First
The Ranji Trophy is about to enter the knockout stages and it seems the organisers need a lesson in how to make the draw. Picture this: Tamil Nadu and Karnataka topped their groups by a margin of 7 and 10 points respectively. Yet, they were not the top two ranked teams for the quarterfinal stage. That luxury was extended to last year's finalists - Mumbai and U.P. Mumbai finished third in their group while U.P were second behind Karnataka.
Apparently this is how things were back in the day. However, the Ranji Trophy switched to a new format last season with the top three teams from the Super League making the quarterfinals alongwith the winners of the semi-finals from the Plate League. The Super League group winners played the qualifiers from the Plate League while the second placed teams played the third placed winners. Sounds like a straightforward way of doing things. So what was the need for reverting to the old system which made no sense in the first place. More importantly, why weren't the teams aware of this at the start of the season? Why did W.V.Raman and the media have to wait till the eleventh hour for confirmation of the same?
The points system in the Ranji Trophy is bad enough as it is. There is too much emphasis on getting the first innings lead and not enough incentive for winning games outright - 30 of the 49 matches in the Super League were drawn. To add to this, teams like Karnataka that do manage to win games have to play the second placed team from the other pool. So where is the incentive to play positive and aggressive cricket? The best thing to do is somehow make the finals one season, meander your way to a third place next year and face a qualifier from the Plate League.
7 signs that tell you cricket is not in the pink of its health
1. Virender Sehwag roots for opponents in close ties;
2. Pakistan wants to play home series in India;
3. Freelancer Freddie stoops to socks designing;
4. Makhaya Ntini meets David Beckham and his first query is about his undie habit;
5. Shane Warne turns underwear designer;
6. A West Indian spinner, I repeat spinner, cops 2-match fine while his pace colleagues go about spreading love;
7. BCCI drop ODIs to accommodate Tests!
MS Dhoni banned for two ODIs
And a fair call. India took 4 hours and 3 minutes to complete their overs. Even factoring for the injury breaks,ball change and drinks breaks, India were atleast 25 minutes behind schedule.
Per the ICC CODE OF CONDUCT FOR PLAYERS AND PLAYER SUPPORT PERSONNEL, a captain guilty of a Serious Over Rate Offence is sanctioned "The imposition of two (2) Suspension Points."
Per the ICC
Suspension Points. The weighting points used to determine the period of suspension imposed against any Player or Player Support Personnel pursuant to Article 7 of the Code of Conduct.
and
where the actual over rate in any Test Match or any other International Match of at least four days in duration is more than five overs short of the Minimum Over Rate, or, in any One Day International Match, Twenty20 International Match or any other International Match of fifty (50) or twenty (20) overs per side, is more than two overs short of the Minimum Over Rate, such an offence shall be considered a ‘Serious Over Rate Offence’.
As India was clearly on the wrong side of that particular line, Dhoni's suspension is warranted.
A Christmas ban.
It may not be a test series, but the discerning MSD doesn’t care much for playing the Lankans. 3 tests, 2 T20s and 2 ODIs too many, what about decorating my bikes with mistletoes – and anyway, always better to end the year on a high with a hundred, than lose a series to the Lankans.
A shrewd plan indeed. Let’s talk, mid pitch, mid way through the bowler’s run-up, by the way, off the cuff, just talk – it takes time to talk. The more time it takes, the longer the game goes on, the longer the game goes, the stronger the chances of a ban.
Of course, a 3 ODI ban will be ideal, but 2 will do too. Back for the Delhi game, where if we’re bowling second, we’ll bowl by example – bowl our overs or the Lankans well within time. No more talking, that’s for Aircel mobile ads.
But are the Aircel ads worth talking about?
Down to the last decimal point with Bhajji.
That's On Bored, from December 15th, after the Rajkot ODI; and now in the Nagpur ODI, what are Bhajji's bowling analysis - 10-0-58-1 i.e. Bhajji went @5.8 r.p.o. Incredible, two games, identical runs conceded; if only he was half as accurate. But dart's life.
Letting go.
Defeat can be liberating – in a way, it’s a form of failure, and once you’ve faced failure, you’ve faced one of your deepest fears, left with very little to fear. About a year ago I read J.K. Rowling’s benefits of failure, an excerpt:
So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
After today’s defeat at Nagpur, it appears, yet again, there is one player in our team who doesn't fear failure; or does he?
Pot Kettle Black
Scene 1: Sri Lanka v/s England at Johannesburg
Angelo Mathews is run out attempting a second run. He would have probably not made his ground even if the bowler hadn't accidentally impeded his line of running. Mathews throws a major tantrum. Andrew Strauss, the opposing captain withdraws the appeal and Mathews stays at the crease
Scene 2: India v/s Sri Lanka at Nagpur
Gautam Gambhir pushes the ball to mid on and takes off for a single. Chanaka Welegedera takes a brief look at the batsman and tries to get back to the stumps. Well, only if the stumps are five yards away from where they usually are. Mathews takes aim and throws down the stumps while Gambhir bangs into the bowler and is well short of the crease. The batsman throws his bat in disgust while the Sri Lankans celebrate. The commentators decide to ignore Welegedera's actions and call it an unfortunate run out.
Scene 3: Australia v/s India at Brisbane
Gautam Gambhir drives Michael Clarke to mid-off, the bowler moves across and takes out Tendulkar with a tackle, pulling him down. Tendulkar isn't bothered but Ravi Shastri goes ballistic in the commentary box and you can hear him ask someone in the background to put up the replay. He is clearly unhappy about Clarke's behaviour and makes sure everyone knows about it.
There are two issues to consider here. The first one is that the player who was called back when he felt he was obstructed was more than happy to celebrate effecting a similar dismissal. His captain seemed to have no problem with that either. This is the same captain who felt his team lost out on atleast 500 runs because of umpiring mistakes.
The second, and the more important issue is that of how people perceive similar situations completely differently based on their prejudices. We keep talking about how cricketers and officials from white countries use different yardsticks to judge people of different races when we are no different. One wonders how Gavaskar would have reacted if the last name of the bowler who impeded Gambhir was Johnson instead of Welegedera. It's no use calling out the Athertons and Healys for their biased attitude when our so-called greats do the same from the comfort of their commentary box. The cricketing world has been split down the middle and neither side is willing to give an inch. I hope it changes. If it doesn't, I know what sport I won't be encouraging my kid to take up.
could chris broad have done anything differently...?
much as the ban on benn is harsh and unfortunate... much as the crap judgment thrust upon him ...but i was thinking... could broad have done anything differently...?
your case is as good as the FIR lodged by you... against you...
the framing of charges depends upon the investigation officer's investigation and observations and once the charges are framed (rightly or wrongly) the court cannot go beyond the scope of charges framed...
much like this story... when a nurse was raped and strangled and left to die... police lodged the FIR against culprit... and framed charges for attempted murder and stealing the earrings... but they never framed charges for a rape... coz police was not convinced the rape happened...
the result?
he got convicted for seven years in jail... but not for the rape...
however unfortunate the story is but to drive home the point...
the judiciary system always works like that...a judge cannot go beyond the scope of charges framed... and is bound to deliver justice on that premise... even if they know it... court can take matters suo moto and direct respective authorities to book a case but once the charges are framed the proceeding will be limited to that...
icc is no different... they too (would) have devised the process along these lines...
so once on field umpires in the elite panel appointed by the icc prepare a report and lay it in front of the match referee, again appointed by the icc, i think he was bound to go by the charges framed against the culprits (benn, haddin & johnson)... it is the duty of on field umpires to prepare and report the incident as they interpret it would have happened and frame charges accordingly (justifiably or not)...
chris broad could or could not have taken action... but once he decided to take action he could not have gone beyond the scope of the report or charges pressed by umpires... as far as i understand...
so i think more than broad... the on field umpires pissed in their pants... could not muster enough courage and/or grossly failed to report it the way it happened... hence the judgment...
disclaimer: i am not trying to justify broad or the judgment... which i think is nothing but bullshit... but i am just trying to explore possibilities and initiate debate in this light...
Dynasty - The Hallmark of Sporting Immortality
There are number ones and then there are Number Ones. Just ask Dinara Safina and Serena Williams. Almost every sport has a ranking system which is an indicator of the form team/athlete at a given point in time. However, it isn't always the best indicator of the pre-eminent force in that sport, and there are times when there is really isn't a pre-eminent force in the sport.
Brazil are the number one ranked football team in the world but they were knocked out in the quarterfinals of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. No European Club has won the Champions League in consecutive seasons. Dinara Safina was ranked number one for a few months this year but she hasn't won a single Grand Slam. Kim Clijsters had a similar ascent to the top of the rankings a few years ago. Since then she has added two Grand Slam titles to her resume, one of which came in her first Grand Slam since coming back from retirement.
Test Cricket is going through a similar period of flux. There are two legitimate contenders for the number one spot but there are compelling arguments for and against each of these contenders. But this post is not about me arguing the case for one of these contenders, it is about what it really means for a team to be the best in the business.
In India when we think of dynasties we think of the Mughals, we think of the Mauryas and Guptas who are part of our rich history. But this term is used quite commonly in the sporting world, especially in America. Dynasty is a term used to describe a team that has been the undisputed best in its sport for a prolonged period of time. It is what every sporting franchise aspires to but very few have the honour of achieving it.
Here's a look at some of the great sporting dynasties since the end of the Second World War. Their achievements might put into perspective what Indians and South Africans should aspire to in order to be remembered as the best instead of just a footnote in the ICC Rankings.
Real Madrid C.F - Football (1954 to 1969)
As a Barcelona supporter, it is doubly painful to acknowledge the superiority of the Castilians over the Catalans. But 12 La Liga titles and 6 European Cups, 5 of which came in a row are the stuff legends are made of. It's hardly a surprise then that the best footballers in the world dream of playing at the Bernabeu and not Old Trafford.
Boston Celtics - NBA (1957 to 1969)
11 NBA titles in 13 years. They say it's harder to defend your title than to win it for the first time. Well, how about defending it 7 times in a row? It still remains the longest championship winning streak of any professional franchise in America.
Ferrari - Formula One (1999 to 2004)
6 consecutive Constructors Championships, 5 consecutive Drivers Championships to Michael Schumacher. The FIA had to constantly tweak the rules in an effort to level the playing field but Ferrari came out on top every time.
West Indies - Cricket (1975 to 1995)
Arguably the most dominant team in the history of cricket. Unbeaten at home during this period, they also did not lose a test series in over 15 years until Australia conquered them in the Caribbean. Series record: 25 wins, 4 losses, 10 draws. Their dominance extended to One-Day internationals as well with the Windies winning the first two World Cups and losing the finals of the third one. Their fall from greatness could not have been worse, they are ranked 8th in the world right now and their past greats are hoping they have hit rock bottom.
Australia - Cricket (1995 to 2007)
The period of Australian dominance started with the fall of the Caribbean empire. Australia were initially a bit suspect away from home, they were even more dominant than the Windies in their own backyard. Series record: 37 wins, 5 losses, 3 draws. Australia dominated the shorter version even more than their predecessors, winning three consecutive World Cups. In fact, their winning streak in World Cup matches is 23 and counting. Their downfall started at one of their strongholds - Perth was considered to be their fortress and it was breached in early 2008 by India. Since then, the Aussies have lost of their 6 series and are placed third in the ICC Rankings.
Yet Again, Justice Has Been Served Down Under
Incident - Bowler tries to field, gets in non-striker's way. Who's at fault? I've always heard that it should be the non striker who tries get out of the fielder's way.
Well Brad Haddin didn't seem to think so. And he makes it quite clear by...
Incident - Batsman unnecessarily creates a confrontation with the bowler, points his bat at him. Who's at fault? No point asking Haddin, even clinching video evidence doesn't seem to convince him that he could be wrong. But its pretty clear there is only one person who instigated the confrontation.
Incident - Batsman drives back to bowler who picks up the ball and hurls it back. Who's at fault? I've always thought this is a rather stupid thing to do, but a lot of bowlers seem to keep doing it and I can't recall anyone being punished for it.
Incident - Bowler goes across to have a chat (thats kinda putting it lightly, but thats the way these incidents have been described in the past when the bowler was McGrath, Donald, Flintoff etc) with the batsman after his over. Who's at fault? The bowler of course, but just as much as the batsman was for provoking him a few balls earlier with that unnecessary exchange.
Incident - Bowler's hand accidentally brushes one of the batsman who actually positioned himself directly in between himself and the other batsman in the confrontation. Angry batsman shoves the bowler aside. Who's at fault? Even if someone did deliberately knock you with their arm, shoving them is hardly the best way to react, and because you have deliberately reacted physically, you have out yourself in the worst possible light and deserve to be penalized at the same level (or above in the event that the original knock was accidental) for bringing the game into disrepute.
That all seems pretty straightforward. Three idiots on the cricket field, all acting rather deplorably, but its worth pointing out that it was Haddin who made this an incident in the first place and that Johnson took things to another level. All three should be penalized equally at the very least, unless Johnson gets the stiffest penalty for deliberately engaging an opposition player in a hostile physical manner. Right?
Well, not according to the subcontinental team's favorite match referee, Chris Broad. Broad decided to hand Haddin and Johnson level one offences while handing out a level two offence to Benn. What this means is the most Johnson and Haddin can lose is 50% of their match fees, while Benn will lose between 50-100% of his fees and/or possibly be banned for a match. Naturally suddenly "everyone" is talking about what a nasty and "unusual" character Benn is. Nobody seems to think its worth talking about Haddin's hilarious conduct earlier in the year and Johnson's constant runs in with batsman who dispatch his mostly ordinary bowling.
While it might have left a few West Indian's scratching their heads, it certainly wouldn't have surprised players who represented India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka during the early 2000s when Broad seemed hell bent on penalizing them with whatever he could think of while ignoring similar offences by players from Australia, South Africa and New Zealand. For a former player with one the most disgraceful reputations in the game for his own conduct on the field, he sure does an awful lot to try and curb aggressive behavior in the middle. Oh, did I forget to add, only just not as much to cricketers from certain countries. Because you know, like Steve Bucknor said, some are more equal than others.
The saviors of Test Cricket
A near empty Centurion. A more than half empty WACA. 385 runs for 8 wickets at the Centurion.- in the fifth session of the Test match. 339 runs scored for the loss of 3 wickets on Day 1 at the WACA. 395 runs for the loss of 6 wickets on Day 2 of the WACA.
The very antithesis of what can be found on the subcontinent.. To quote Ricky Ponting
This is my concern for Test cricket on the subcontinent in particular, where there can be some real batathons.And lets not even mention the crowds, so abysmal on the sub continent but...
Test Cricket has been saved.. Hallelujah!
india should consider playing five specialist bowlers...
the kind of wickets that are prepared for one day internationals these days... where even lesser mortals can plant the foot forward and play through the line of the ball without worrying about the deviation... and dispatch hapless bowlers out of the park even if its a miss hit... playing with seven batsmen is nothing but a defensive mindset...
if the batting is as strong as india has, more often than not the seventh batsmen wont have any say in the proceedings... and then a place gets wasted for flimsy reasons... that start with... 'just in case...'
the mindset of almost all captains has been to put a mammoth total on board so that opposition teams just cannot chase it but this strategy is found wanting of late coz of two reasons...
first there is constant pressure on batsmen to put up a huge score to compensate lack of bowling choices... and i have seen many teams floundering chasing that pre-conceived unbeatable total irrespective of prevailing conditions...
second being... opposition teams knows it too... so attack your weakest link by putting your front line bowlers under enormous pressure to come out good every time they bowl... meaning one of your main bowler having an off day is not an option...
since the next world cup is going to take place in india in 2011... india must give the five bowler strategy a go and see if it yields the desired results which i am sure it will... as seen in last match that the match was not won by batsmen but by great bowling at death...
as i have said before... i would use praveen kumar in the role of allrounder that india has been searching endlessly for after irfan pathan and field five bowlers... either 2 spinners + 3 pacers or 1 spinner + 4 pacers combo depending upon how dhoni is feeling about bhajji...
Vote For Yourself.
If you do Bored Cricket Crazy Indians' shots, who knows, soon you could make Bored Cricket Crazy Indians’ cocktails. Teetotallers - if you read us, soon you could write here.
One of us will hunt the other down, first you’ll be a Bored Guest, then a Bored Member, this post could be written by you, and we all could be drinking cricket at a Bored Meeting.
There’s no denying you’re already a Bored Cricket Crazy Indian. You could be a cricket crazy Indian or a bored Indian or a crazy Indian or a bored crazy, but you are one of us. As we are one of you, and I am you and you are me, and we are all together.
Together we vote for Bored Cricket Crazy Indians, nominated best cricket blog, 2009, here at World Cricket Watch.
PS: Bored Member Q's Well Pitched (best blog) and Bored Member Ankit Mishra's Paddlesweep (best new blog) are nominated too.
The dope on Shane Bond's injury.
There is no bigger fan of Shane Bond than Bored Member Krish. Not even Bond seems so keen on himself. When you talk to Krish about Bond, he’s so overwhelmed, he’s often speechless. When we asked Krish, what he wanted for his Happy Bored Day, he obviously couldn’t say Bond – he was speechless again.
But we guessed anyway. For Krish, we’ve flown Bond down to the East Coast. Together they’ll be sipping Martinis yapping about fast bowling and sport’s related injuries. In fact, the injury was pre-arranged. Anyway, it’s the thought that counts. Happy Bored Day Krish, here’s to a solid Bond.
You can read Krish on Bored here, and on his blog, Kridaya, here.
and they said we can't play short pitch stuff...
keep your head down and eyes off the line of the ball... pray that the ball whizzes past you without hitting anything... and let your countrymen proclaim that actually its us who can not play short pitch stuff...
RT Ponting* retired hurt 23
saffari test series preview... and other grievous matters...
though the series is labeled as south africa vs england test series, i have my doubts...
the series basically is south africa's domestic competition which has been accorded international status...
south africa 'a' and 'b' sides will play each other for four 'test' matches with a dash of foreigners in the form of england players thrown in to make this domestic competition interesting and appealing...
this is the trick played by south african cricministrators to make south africa the top test cricket nation... coz whoever wins... it will be hailed as the win of one south african team over another...
icc against its nature is said to be acting fast over this matter which has the potential of south africa taking over the cricketing world if not intervened timely... so they have proposed a restriction of maximum three south african players per test side on the lines of IPL which restricts franchisees to have not more than four foreigners in their teams... to promote 'local' players...
needless to say the proposal is due to be passed by all respective boards in the first meeting itself which will take place in lalit modi's swanky office for obvious reasons...
watch this space for further developments...
A day of daredevilry.
First the Jatman – 146 runs on the rocks. Then Dilshan, “hit me with a 160”. After that Nehra, shaken not stirred. If Rajkot was a bartender, these Dardevils were alcoholics.
Elsewhere Vettori started by snacking on two wickets, setting the Kiwis for a series win. Not to be, but then Vettori doesn’t play all Daredevil games. If he was a regular, who knows, a five for, followed by fireworks with the bat.
Even Asif, an erstwhile Daredevil lasted ten deliveries for his zero. His innings was such a dampener, it roped in the rains that robbed the Kiwis of a win.
And what about the other ex-Daredevil, Shoiab Malik; though not playing, and largely useless, he still booked his spot for the series down under.
Meanwhile Amit Mishra was letting it rip in the nets. If that wasn’t enough, David Warner ran two apartment blocks to catch a ball from another game. “Not out!” said the umpire, but David continued to smile impishly. And the whole world smiled; with the Daredevils.
Hello, was that you Bhajji?
There was something about Bhajji today; from the moment he greeted Jatman’s hundred with a slavelike bow, you could tell he was determined to put in a special performance.
This of course was aided by not bowling in the power play overs; that’s for kids like Jadeja. Bhajji ages like wine, and the uncorking must not be rushed.
Bhajji came on to bowl after every bowler had been smashed. By then he believed in his legend, that he will save this cricketing race from decline.
He knocked Dilshan and Sanath over, though closer examination will tell you they knocked themselves – but Bhajji had it all today, for he doesn’t like it easy. When the wicket helps spin he doesn’t help himself. Today as he saw lesser mortals like Zaks and Nehra fall around him, he decided – I will bowl slow; a ball at 80 kmph. They will not expect this.
And when they try to play it off their pads, I will sneak one on the off stump. Ha! That will have them in a quandary. How do you think I knocked Dilshan’s off stump?
Also, let it be known I was the only bowler who went at less than 6 runs per over. Bhajji being a creature of habit likes to go at 5.80 runs per over; irrespective of the conditions, and today was no different. Who cares if the other guys go at 10 and 12 r.p.o., I’m good with my 5.80 r.p.o.
Of course Bhajji was the man of the match. But the modest man that he is, he requested the commentators to honour a lesser player. Well done Bhajji, you played so well, even we didn’t recognise you.
Do not mess with Gambhir.
It’s bad enough Gambhir does not open in one-dayers. For old time’s sake, Sachin does. And as there’s no old timer at three, Gambhir bats there. Then, often enough, when it suits MSD, he comes out for a swing at three. Today, at 153/1 in the 19th over, MSD rapped his way in.
How do we interpret that, worse, how does Gambhir interpret that – you can score all the runs you want, win us all the games you can, open when Sachin’s indisposed, come at three when it’s rough, but you’re not good enough to cash in when we’re going at 8 per over.
At 309/2 in the 35th over (batting power play), Raina runs in. Great, so Gambhir is not good enough to cash in at four either. At 311/3 (after Sehwag and MSD’s wickets, still batting power play), surprise – Gambhir walks in.
Momentum’s a little off, let’s have Gambhir consolidate, bat the fifty.
It seems to me, this Indian team doesn’t deserve the best thing that’s happened to them in the last few years. Gambhir’s form, resolve, brilliance is lost on them. It’s amazing how Gambhir in spite of the way he’s tampered with, battles on and on.
To me, he is by far the most important player in the Indian team. Someone should go ask him where he wants to bat – and not the other way round. Looks like Indian cricket has its investments all wrong. Gambhir is the present, stop thinking about tomorrow, try not to mess with today.
today is the day...
at the time of writing this, sehwag is at 115 odd with about 24 overs to go... the way sehwag is playing... not trying to outdo himself as has been the case of his odi career so far... today is the day we will see the first double hundred being scored at one day internationals...
only jatman can come in between sehwag and double hundred... that's there for the taking...
Where did the two one dayers go?
It’s somewhat disappointing
When you see, it’s only five one dayers
Oh you must be so happy, you naysayers
It’s so sad that this should come to pass
That people started calling ODIs a pain in the ass
But really, it’s somewhat disappointing
Only five, not seven
We will survive, we will be alive
By the end of the series
By the end of the series
There’s some unseasonal rain in Delhi tonight
Who knows there could be some on the 27th too
And if that happens, will it be only four one dayers?
Oh you must be so happy, you naysayers
And what about Christmas Eve
Will Eden take its leave?
It’s been so long, far too long
There is so much that can go wrong, go wrong
And if that happens, will it be only three one dayers?
Oh you must be so happy, you naysayers
And what about Yuvi's poor little finger
How will India play without its gun slinger
Damn it, call Rajkot off!
And if that happens, will it be only two one dayers?
Oh you must be so happy, you naysayers
Only two one dayers, one at Nagpur, one at Cuttak
Looks like with these two were kinda stuck
But there gotta be a reason for them to be scrapped
Play a test match, GOTCHA! You're trapped!
And if that happens, will it be no one dayers?
Oh you must be so happy, you naysayers
It’s so sad that this should come to pass
That people started calling ODIs a pain in the ass
When Waqar Younis did Pink Floyd.
"C'mon Yousuf, leave the kid alone" That's Waqar on air, could swear that sounded straight out of one of those Floyd hits.Not just that, "c'mon Yousuf, let the kid play, you're ruining his average, ruining his strike rate". Some good banter, Waqar's usually candid, doesn't get jumpy in the box, says what's in his head. Be some fun times ahead as the bowling and fielding coach. Why not make him batting coach too? One things for sure, Umar Akmal will smash a few more sixes. While MoYo can be a chip of the old block.
A match made in heaven or hell?
Personally it’s been a rough wedding season. Looking back it’s like I’ve played 3 tests, 7 ODIs and an IPL in a few weeks. The ODIs are mostly like the wedding day (usually dry, I’m done with Car-o-bars, just come in late, leave early); while the tests and IPL are like the wedding receptions or the sangeet – it’s either a mindless binge or one of those rare days of joyous excess that make you want to pledge your life to the virtues of booze.
Bummers are games where India's slayed, and you’re so badly hung over the following day, because something is happening here, but you don't know what it is, do you Mister Jones?
There was one such sangeet in March, 1996. India played Lanka at Eden. Party at my place, watched very little of India’s innings, thankfully. One man in black claimed he was in mourning; most guys had the blues, they drank way too much. Bored Member Bhaskar Khaund was a notorious bartender; drinks flew over the cuckoo’s nest.
Today, I revisited that scorecard. Apart from the obvious pointers, only Sachin, Sanath and Murali remain from the 96 squads; I look at the Indian numbers – both Azhar and Jaddu didn’t score; Azhar was captain, Jaddu bowled 5 overs for 31, Srinath who had a three for bowled only 7. It’s crazy but once the mind goes strange places, there’s no stopping it. Unless you care to remember Aravinda walking down thumping them over mid on.
The curious case of Yusuf Pathan
Despite his best efforts cooking up zeros, Yusuf remains in the Indian team. Getting all the colours right on a rubik's cube would be easier than trying to solve this puzzle of understanding why. It looked such till we got hold of a transcript of the selection committee meeting to finalize the teams for the home series against Srilanka.
Krish Srikanth: Now let us discuss allrounders…
Voice1: Sanjay Bangar, he has been doing well in Ranji recently
Voice2: Then what about Rajat Bhatia, he is younger compared to Bangar…
Voice3: And Bangar has had his chances, now we should encourage youngsters
Voice1: So what about Pathan ?
Voice2: Which one ?
Voice3: No… No what have they done of any note off late… Except appearing on TV and dancing with Fara Khan ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes… I agree. Why Pathan ?
Voice1: Cheeka you mean Y Pathan ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes, why Pathan ?
Voices (in chorus): So Cheeka you mean take him ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes take him off
Voices (in chorus): Ok we take him… Y Pathan, Y Pathan
Krish Srikanth: Now let us discuss allrounders…
Voice1: Sanjay Bangar, he has been doing well in Ranji recently
Voice2: Then what about Rajat Bhatia, he is younger compared to Bangar…
Voice3: And Bangar has had his chances, now we should encourage youngsters
Voice1: So what about Pathan ?
Voice2: Which one ?
Voice3: No… No what have they done of any note off late… Except appearing on TV and dancing with Fara Khan ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes… I agree. Why Pathan ?
Voice1: Cheeka you mean Y Pathan ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes, why Pathan ?
Voices (in chorus): So Cheeka you mean take him ?
Krish Srikanth: Yes take him off
Voices (in chorus): Ok we take him… Y Pathan, Y Pathan
Leading from the middle.
1st test, MoYo at 4, scores 17 and 41. Rookie Fawad Alam at 3. Never mind what he gets, he doesn’t make it to the next test.
2nd test, 1st innings, MoYo at 4 again: makes a duck! Rookie Umar Akmal’s made enough runs at 5 in the 1st test, let’s shove him at 3. Then MoYo springs a surprise, lands up at 3, top-scores with 83. Pak draw level in the series.
3rd test 1st innings, Somebody’s nephew Faisal Iqbal at 3, MoYo back to 4; another duck. 2nd innings, Day 3 close, Pak has already played 56 overs, 10 wickets in hand. Where will MoYo bat – if Pak lose an early wicket, he’ll wait it out. Why face the early morning conditions, fresh bowlers, why not just read the morning papers, cup of tea will do nicely.
What if the openers see the first hour through, and then a wicket falls – add another 13-15 overs to 56, let’s assume a wicket falls in the 70th over. That would be perfect timing for MoYo to bat. Sure, the new ball is due in 10 overs, but that’s still better than coming in at 4, at the stroke of lunch, with a dodgy 4-5 overs with the new ball bowlers steaming in.
Too many clichés for a man who is anything but that. Where MoYo will bat, frankly even he doesn’t know. It’s up to the Kiwis.
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