And how! First WICB sucks. Then they sucks blood.
Here you go, the Lamentations of Julian Hunte by Zikdaman @WICB Sucks, a remake of the Mighty Sparrow classic “Kerry Packer”.
Hunte say ban them immediately
I’m the man in authority
If ah say you play you play
If ah tell you nay is nay
Anytime ah drop you you flop
Good form could never bring you back up
I remain cricket lord and its master
Ah go fire all dem WIPA players
Cause the public is so apathetic
They go talk but won’t do nothing bout it
Captain Christopher Gayle mustn’t be spared
Instead we got bajan big bat Dale Richards
Scabs never sign for protection with militant WIPA
So if we pay dem or don’t it nuh matter
Click here to Sing more, Suck more!
WICB SUCKS!
Another reason to call it Teri Maa Ki!!
Ponting beyond Border, Bhajji beyond it.
Look deep within, you will know it’s no longer the Border Gavaskar Trophy, those days are long gone. And it just doesn’t sound right to call it the Singh Ponting or the Bhajji Ricky Trophy.
What better than Teri Maa ki!! It’s gotta ring to it, it’s a call to arms, and a farewell to sanity: basically everything you want a hard fought test series to be.
Who knows it may even ignite something in this soft as snow Aussie side. These days, their collapses make Pakistan’s appear almost dignified.
Hauritz broke a finger, so did Haddin, Johnson lost his mind, so did Hussey, the Aussies need a little inspiration. Bring on the bad memories.
Where is Symonds when you need him?
On the rebound
On my return with my shades’ case, mithai, crumpled paper napkins in one hand, key in the other. On cue, the case is airborne, out of my hand, ready to drop, but unlike Flintoff, I catch it on the rebound. It’s only minutes later that I watch the Flintoff drop, and hear Gower rue, it could have been five wickets. Now it is, Clarke gone.
How the "Doosra" got killed in Australia.
After Shane Warne's retirement the Aussie's are facing a serious drought of spinners, since they do not have any world class spinners at present the latest crop of their batsmen is seriously deficient in handling quality spin hence compounding their problems.
In order to find a solution, last month Cricket Australia center of Excellence in Brisbane organised a spin summit in which Shane Warne, Stuart MacGill, Jim Higgs, Gavin Robertson, Terry Jenner, Peter Philpott and Ashley Mallett were present as delegates.
The agenda of the summit was to discuss the problems faced by the Australian cricket team in the spin department and to find an effective solution.
All the delegates unanimously agreed to the solution and he Doosra got killed in Australia.
One of the delegates pointed out the mediocrity of Australia's current crop of spinners and raised the question that why our spinners haven't been able to master the "Doosra" when Asian Spinners have moved on to "Teesra" and "Chowtha"?
Terry Jenner said " the solution is simple, lets coach our bowlers.
All of a sudden everybody looked toward Shane Warne.
SW " Why are you fucktards looking toward me? I am a leggie and besides I have always said that "Doosra" is not legal."
Terry Jenner " is there anybody else who can coach our spinners these mystery balls.
Staurt MacGill said "I am also a leggie so don't look at me.
Ashley mallett said "I have never seen anybody bowl a doosra so how can I coach it."
After a brief silence, Terry Jenner said "how about we propose ICC to limit one Doosra per over, remember when our batsmen couldn't face the bouncers bowled by the West Indian bowlers in eighties, one bouncer an over limit really helped us."
Shane Warne: But Asian teams will still have an unfair advantage over us as our bowlers don't know how to bowl the "Doosra". I'm telling you guys Doosra is not legal lets just banish it in Australia and propose ICC to banish this delivery.
Terry Jenner: But Shane how is it illegal? When the bowlers are bowling within 15 degree limit.
SW: Damn you fucktards you will never understand. Murali is a chucker they are all chuckers and if you don't do anything now that master chuckster is going to take 1000 test wickets.
Terry: But Shane we are not discussing Murali here.
Shane: I am telling you there is no other solution lets kill the "Doosra".
If we can't bowl it and can't coach our bowlers to bowl it, lets banish it.
Lets take all the unfair advantage from other teams, thats the only way we can become #1 cricket team in the world again.
by Wasim
Had Paris Hilton been a cricketer
Well, had she been a cricketer, one thing is certain. Shane Warne would not have been available to comment on men's cricket. Neither would be Ravi Shastri.
While men's cricket can heave a sigh of relief that she is not, I could not leave it there.
I applied my mind to the subject and have no qualms in admitting that I was nearly conned into believing that she would have been a spinner in that case.
Mind you, she shares a strong trait with Ajantha Mendis. Both cannot be classified, at least in the conventional terms.
Socialite-heiress-model-singer-actress-author-fashion designer...you name it and she is.
It would suffice to say that she is famous for being famous.
But had she been a cricketer, I don't see her being anything other than a pace bowler.
Well, giggles can be put on hold till I present my case.
As far as modesty is concerned, even her staunchest critic would admit, she has overstepped the line with amazing regularity. Much like a pacer out of his rhythm.
Mind you, a similar no-ball problem nearly cost Brett Lee his place in the Ashes side.
But what really convinced me of Paris Hilton's possibility of being a pacer is her brief flirtation with Portuguese 'winker' Cristiano Ronaldo.
Shammi Kapoor had 'An Evening in Paris'. Ronaldo had one full night. And the British tabloid industry simply lost the rag, lamenting how the then Man U star was letting Hilton lick his face.
And she was licking again, this time wounds, when the unscrupulous footballer found greener pastures elsewhere and dumped her.
Even though I'm rather uneasy discussing something as greasy as licking, nothing should stand in the way of objectivity.
Applying saliva on something may not sound an impressive idea but the fact remains it's an universal practice among the pacers' community to shine the cherry.
Let's give her the due, Paris Hilton, in spirit, is as much a pacer as Zaheer Khan is.
Of late, she also had allegations leveled against her that she swings both ways.
No mean achievement that is, from cricketing point of view. Bowling coaches across the cricketing spectrum – from Venky Prasad to Troy Colley – will tell you how difficult it has been to teach their wards.
Pity Paris Hilton is not a cricketer.
‘Certainly a woody sound’
Here you go again, Kamran Akmal has opened his account: First over, first drop. The account comes with a high interest, he dropped Sanath 40+ Jayasuriya. The way it is with Sanath, Akmal could see him at the crease for a long, long time – another few years at least. How tough was it opening the account: Nothing really, Sanath gently dabbed it on the leg side, and Akmal had to make no effort whatsoever to drop it. Even skip, Younis was amused, all teeth. Certainly what you expect from Akmal. Broke the bank again!
You can go here to enjoy the debate over Kamran Akmal between Pakistani and Indian bored members, really quite funny. As was the 'woody comment' by Rameez Raja.
Now Razzaq's missed Sanath's skier, missed Rameez's comment too. For PG Woodhouse and B Khaund on skiers, here you go
Rameez on Razzaq - "he was at handshaking distance from the batsman, he could see him, maybe that put him off"
Look out for the new T20 captain in an ODI
There’s an ODI on in Dambulla. Shahid Afridi will play, and even though he will be skippered by Younis, I’ll be watching you Shahid. So will the media, every step you take, every move you make, they’ll be watching you. In a way, even an unwatchable ODI will have an edge to it. When will Afridi bat, and more importantly how will Afridi bat – if he fails, premature crap will be dished out. If he succeeds, expect it to be hailed as the second coming.
As far as captains go, Pakistan will have plenty of them on the field: former, present, future, you name it. Only apt that there should be a few more in the com-box. Ramiz, bring on the hysterics!
Finally, Shahid Afridi to lead Pakistan in T20's
After almost a month of deliberation PCB has finally announced that Shahid Afridi will lead Pakistan in T20's. Afridi was competing with vice captain Misbah Ul Haq for the job but Misbah's indifferent form and Afridi's performance in the T20 WC became the decisive factor.
This will be the first time that Afridi will lead Pakistan in any format of the game. Finally his wish realized after a long struggle.
Afridi now is an integral part of Pakistan's Odi and T20 team, he has a charismatic personality and a huge fan following, he has been in and out of the team through out his career until he decided to focus on his bowling and created a niche for himself. Now that his dream has realized the big question is will he be able to live upto it?
His chances of becoming a successful captain will depend mostly on his man management skills, his domestic record as a captain has been quite good , if I am not mistaken his team Dolphins has never won any tournament but they always reached the finals.
He is naturally aggressive and is extremely active on the field, he is also experienced and smart enough to lead Pakistan at this level. But the big question is will he be able to demonstrate the maturity and temperament which is expected from a leader or will he continue to bat without having any match awareness.
I think if he retains the same level of maturity which he displayed during the T20 world cup he will be fine and if not then it won't take long before his dream will turn into his worst nightmare.
Shahid should use this opportunity to establish himself as the future Test and Odi captain of Pakistan team and he can only do that if the team gives better results under him in T20's.
As regards Misbah Ul Haq he should step down as the Vice Captain of Pakistan team and should focus just on improving his form.
by Wasim
Also on Boom Boom: Bored Member Q + Bored Member NC
Bangladesh v West Indies v West Indies
By some simple twist of fate, and surf of the remote I found myself in an ODI in the Caribbean. I had no intention to watch this beleaguered Windies' team, but what could I do - the game was on and so was Ashraful – elevated from the equator to one down. With him, his general, foot soldier, one man army, Shakib Al Hasan!
You’d expect Bangla to win, which they did. The extra toppings: Sammy and someone else colliding and collectively spilling a catch, Roach being taken off after his second beamer, the look on Reifer's face, a wicket keeper-bowler's wicket of his second ball. After this even the harshest critic of Carib-cricket will come back for seconds!
Incidentally so did Thomas the keeper, he scalped another one in the same over. What fun.
The mirror has two faces
We saw comedy of errors
See what the common man in Roseau is saying...
Overheard at Windsor Park, Roseau, Dominica
Maan tomorrow the WICB would say, "It was not a fake team, acknowledge now... That boy, Dowlin scored a ton. It shows the strength of our team". And then click on the WIPA website they would say, "The way Bangladesh fielded even Walsh would have scored a double ton"
KhufiaBaaz: Sunny Bhai still scared of 'Beamer' and 'Bouncer'!
Sunny Bhai is one funny Bhai...fearless against the new ball only to be fearful of 'Beamer and Bouncer' who are Ravi Shastri’s dogs! Don’t see Sunny Bhai going to MS’ place anytime soon, there’s a real bitch there!
Close encounters with Gautam Gambhir.
Step out in Delhi, and you will be touched by cricket. Make that touched by a cricketer now. I’m off to grab a burger-cold coffee lunch, who should greet me at the door: None other than Gautam Gambhir, hand outstretched with a gaseous glass of Coke.
Now I’m wearing my Delhi Daredevils T, the fan version (sans Hero Honda signage), and here is Gambhir, compelling me to participate in the ‘Meet Gautam Gambhir’ contest. No thank you, I’ll pass.
Nothing personal against you Gautam, but I’d rather watch you play then have you watch me eat.
And look, how different we are: you wear the new updated red+blue Daredevils T while I’m still in IPL season 1 (black+red). Then there’s the bait – you buy any Coke combo and get a chance to meet Gautam Gambhir. I’m not one for combos, pass again.
But yeah, if our paths do cross Gautam, I’ll give you a nudge. Think you’ll understand.
West Indies vs. West Indies: Comedy of errors
Round 1: Clive Lloyd and Michael Holding give the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) and the West Indies Players’ Association (WIPA) a verbal lashing. Talk of greed and personal scores being settled in the player-board impasse.
Round2: WIPA strike back: “many of its members had rejected lucrative contracts with the unsanctioned ICL and pointed out that Lloyd and other leading players of his generation had signed up with the Kerry Packer's rebel World Series Cricket (WSC), which had forced the West Indies board to field second-string sides for several series.
Cricinfo: Unlike the IPL in which Chris Gayle and others are involved and which is recognised by the ICC, WSC was not sanctioned by this body. Lloyd and his team blazed the path for better remuneration for players by participating in the WSC.
"WIPA does not think that Mr Lloyd and others did so for greed."
If nothing else, you gotta give the WIPA this much, their communication is spot on. Incredible then, how they never seem to get their point across.
England will not survive the Ashes
Why else would they make Brit Insurance the new team sponsors?
What Hindi does Allan Border know?
Border, we know what it must feel like to watch the Indians lift a trophy that bears your name. Seeing as that’s how it will be, why not let go of the name too? Let the trophy echo what every Indian and Australian feel. Here’s to crossover cricket.
And yeah, Happy Bored Day!
And yeah, Happy Bored Day!
Afridi is back, so what?
Pakistan lost two tests, couldn’t win the third, but that was without Mr Twenty20. And now Afridi is back, playing in a one-dayer, and coming in @one down. Lanka A scored 348 of their 50 overs, and Shahid miya struts in and blasts 34 of 25, OUT! If nothing else, let’s keep a vigil through the ODIs, dekho if Boom Boom has the attention span for 50 overs. Be more than a test for him.
PS: Misbah 17 of 32 OUT! lbw. And Pakistan sings, "what have you done for me lately?"
West Indies vs. West Indies
Now you can either follow cricket or cricket politics. The way it works for me, I stay clear of the politics. But such is the stink of West Indies’ politics, I smelt it on the other side of the world.
I have no time for the dammed politicking of the WICB and WIPA – and they have no time for each other – if you still don’t know what they are, keep it that way. What will you gain knowing that WICB is the inept West Indies Cricket Board, and the WIPA, the equally inept West Indies Players’ Association? They have gained nothing, and I bet they too don’t know what the WICB and the WIPA stand for.
West Indian cricket is damned, looks as if it’s going to stay that way. From a super minnow they are now a mini minnow. Yeah, not as if the Windies was the most watchable team…ok, that rationalisation doesn’t ease the pain. They were, in spite of themselves, watchable for me at least. Even though they stretched my late nights later, they always were inexplicably watchable.
More so in those romantic defeats and last ball 6 that Chanderpaul hit and ran like a pre-pubescent schoolboy! They made ODIs watchable, anyone who does that has cracked the code. But now, look at them. There is no West Indies cricket team. There’s a wannabe bunch that hangs out for some beach cricket, why don’t they wear Bermudas? They’re sinking, and with them, so is cricket in the Caribbean.
This bunch loses to Bangladesh in tests, and continues to lose in the ODIs. This is the lot that will make the Champions Trophy. This bunch makes it almost impossible for me to write about cricket, or watch cricket. Excuse me while I grab a quick nap.
I’d like to think it was lunch, but I know, it’s the dog eat dog world of West Indies cricket.
Also read: Pansies of the Caribbean 1
KhufiaBaaz (with inputs from FIP) : KKR are now Khufia Knight Riders!
Look how they have borrowed my name…but such are their Khufia ways, what else can you call them? All of IPL 2, they worked on more gossip and less cricket. You know, without KKR there would have been no Fake IPL Player. KKR is the reason why Indian cricket has become bakwaas, Filmfare type magazine. All KKR does is sell newspapers, and their t-shirts. They are a blot on the cricket landscape, and we love them for that. They are the kind of team that will wash their dirt chaddis in public! Wah KKR, DOUBLE WAH WAH!!
Last year you all know what happened with son of soil, Saurav, how they humiliated him, just to get eyeballs or get him by the balls, I ask you? And to suck up to the goras, all that has been documented well. But now see, IPL season is more than 7 months away and they have started their regular bullshit again. Saurav captain and all that! I ask you, if Saurav is not captain, who will be –Fake IPL Player? And why will Ricky Ponting come to play – nobody wants him anyway, that’s why the IPL humiliated him in the first place, to pay peanuts for him. In a way, IPL cut Ponting to size, he will never play IPL, and nobody gives a damn.
The truth is, that’s what screwed his form, boss. Ponting never came to terms with his lack of worth, and Indian cricket in one single swoop KHALAAS kiya! Ha! What about McCullum, he wants to stay back too – areh, how can he show his face after how he fcked up last time, at best he can be some Christchurch ka captain or whatever! Aur Vettori, please don’t come too, because Delhi will not play you chashmoo. If you are played, then you are just smashed around for 6s by Yusuf. Anyway, Amit Mishra is miles ahead of you in IPL.
Dropping A Few Lines ( OR - The Skier Is The Limit)
It was a Seniors vs. Juniors game back in B-School. These matches were good time pass for the junta and a biggish bunch would sit around watching. Our captain took me into the XI most reluctantly. I proved him right by getting my well set partner run out off the first ball I faced and then getting bowled a couple of dot balls later. Come fielding time and I was goofing off around square leg smoking a cigarette. Skip – an earnest sort - ran down to tell me to cut it out and get serious. I said I was serious and the ciggie made no difference. The very next ball the batsman pulled one directly in my direction. It was like catching practice. Apart perhaps from some elevation , it was a dolly, a sitter, a regulation catch, what P.G.Wodehouse would have called ‘a decidedly possible catch’ (see below)
And…I floored it.
Skip wasn’t amongst the plenty of people that were amused. That cigarette took some major flak from him. But of course fag or no fag, it was just butter fingers plain and simple. There been plenty such instances.
I dread catches and especially the skier. Those few seconds when you squint heavenward and sight the inevitability of a gravity that accelerates faster than your own racing heartbeat: they are an entire lifetime. To those that question the big money international players make I say: tackle a skier in front of millions of watching eyes first! Come to think of it, tackle any catch first! The easier the worse. The experience of dropping a sitter is hard to beat in the misery stakes. I guess everybody knows the feeling
So it was great to stumble across the following poem by the inimitable Sir P.G.Wodehouse:
Missed !
The sun in the heavens was beaming,
The breeze bore an odour of hay,
My flannels were spotless and gleaming,
My heart was unclouded and gay
The ladies all gaily appareled
Sat around looking on at the match
In the tree-tops dicky-birds caroled
All was peace – till I bungled that catch
My attention the magic of summer
Had lured from the game – which was wrong
The bee (that inveterate hummer)
Was droning its favourite song
I was tenderly dreaming of Clara
(On her not a girl is a patch)
When, ah, horror! there soared through the air a
Decidedly possible catch.
I heard in a stupor the bowler
Emit a self-satisfied ‘Ah!’
The small boys who sat on the roller
Set up an expectant ‘Hurrah!’
The batsman with grief from the wicket
Himself had begun to detach –
And I uttered a groan and turned sick. It
Was over. I’d buttered the catch.
Oh, ne’er, if I live to a million
Shall I feel such a terrible pang.
From the seats in the far-off pavilion
A loud yell of ecstasy rang
By the handful my hair (which is auburn)
I tore with a wrench from my thatch
And my heart was seared deep with a raw burn
At the thought that I had foozled that catch.
Ah the bowler’s low, querulous mutter
Points loud, unforgettable scoff!
Oh, give me my driver and putter!
Henceforth my game shall be golf.
If I’m asked to play cricket hereafter,
I am wholly determined to scratch.
Life’s void of all pleasure and laughter;
I bungled the easiest catch.
So it was great to stumble across the following poem by the inimitable Sir P.G.Wodehouse:
Missed !
The sun in the heavens was beaming,
The breeze bore an odour of hay,
My flannels were spotless and gleaming,
My heart was unclouded and gay
The ladies all gaily appareled
Sat around looking on at the match
In the tree-tops dicky-birds caroled
All was peace – till I bungled that catch
My attention the magic of summer
Had lured from the game – which was wrong
The bee (that inveterate hummer)
Was droning its favourite song
I was tenderly dreaming of Clara
(On her not a girl is a patch)
When, ah, horror! there soared through the air a
Decidedly possible catch.
I heard in a stupor the bowler
Emit a self-satisfied ‘Ah!’
The small boys who sat on the roller
Set up an expectant ‘Hurrah!’
The batsman with grief from the wicket
Himself had begun to detach –
And I uttered a groan and turned sick. It
Was over. I’d buttered the catch.
Oh, ne’er, if I live to a million
Shall I feel such a terrible pang.
From the seats in the far-off pavilion
A loud yell of ecstasy rang
By the handful my hair (which is auburn)
I tore with a wrench from my thatch
And my heart was seared deep with a raw burn
At the thought that I had foozled that catch.
Ah the bowler’s low, querulous mutter
Points loud, unforgettable scoff!
Oh, give me my driver and putter!
Henceforth my game shall be golf.
If I’m asked to play cricket hereafter,
I am wholly determined to scratch.
Life’s void of all pleasure and laughter;
I bungled the easiest catch.
KhufiaBaaz: Farveez Maharoof’s wedding album
Just returned from Farveez Maharoof’s wedding (pictures at Island Cricket) – see both captain and ex-captain+wags posing with PM. Notice how PM always flashes that same smile as if he’s taking a photograph. Also posing with the PM and wife are Murali, Dilshan, Vaas, and this guy called Attapatu. Then there’s PM with cake and dancing with Mrs PM. Also check out Mendis posing with himself.
KhufiaBaaz: Why Sangakkara didn't go for the test win.
"By the time we were into the last 20 overs, the test match was looking more and more like a T20 game...and seeing that we had just lost a T20 World Cup final, we didn't want a repeat of that."
Imran Khan: You did it again
Younis, you did it again, I Imran have not done it since Jemima left me .. er .. I mean I haven't lost a test series so badly for a long long time. So what went wrong with Pakistan. The only thing predictable about Pakistan is their unpredictability, in fact unpredictability seems to be their ability. So what went wrong with Pakistan.
Well, firstly I'm not there. Unlike Shoiab Akhtar's bowling I can't be everywhere. So I'm not there, that's reason number one. There's no sanity either; anyway it hasn't been very sanitary with danish kaneria abusing, but there's no sanity. There's no vanity either now that I'm not there. There's absolutely no sanity left in Pakistani cricket. Younis has resigned from the Pakistani T 20 and they want him back. The only person Pakistani cricket wanted back was me, when they asked me to come back for the 1992 World Cup. How can they want someone else back? It must be because You and I, Younis and Imran share the P factor, the Pathan factor, yes that must be it.
If Pakistan cricket wants sanity back it's time to bring Shoaib back. If nothing else it'll improve the accents in the team.
by Mohit Varma
T20 or test cricket - let's hear it from the winner and the loser.
An Indian asks a Pakistani and a Sri Lankan -
For Bored Member Damith (SL) and Bored Member Q (Pak) –
You’ve actually played each other more than your two teams, what with the Master Debate and all. Now, seeing as SL have won the test series 2-0, and you’d think Pak has nothing to show for it – but look back a month, Pak won the T20 World Cup. It’s strange, but both Lanka’s lapses in the twenty20 game and Pak’s collapses in the tests were swift. Almost like a MOU was signed between the two teams– let’s make it quick, painless.
Anyway, as you’ve both counted your losses – which one of you is happier today? Would you swap the T20 for the test series win, Q? And what about you, Damith, you wanted the T20, or is the test series the real deal?
In a time when we’re all hurling the virtues of test cricket at each other with impunity, please think and answer responsibly. But do so honestly. Think about “Jai Ho” playing at the club after the win, Q – is there ever any song after a test series win, Damith? Do tell us about what it feels like? Does Q outscore you on the happiness quotient here? I really wanna know what love is –and which love outscores the other.
Thank you for the music. Let’s hear one last tune for now.
NC (Ind)
Happy Bored Day to the other Kirmani!
Happy B’day Syed Zaheer Abbas Kirmani! But then what’s in a name? That’s the previous post here, where Raja goes on about this guy who had three cricketer’s names thrown into his one big name, and then in the comments, Som talks of a player who has four cricketer’s names cooked into his good name!
But today’s about Zaheer Abbas, and a hark back to the 70s, when he scored at will against India, and the radio had Hindi commentators saying, “Zaheer Abbas choti pe” or something like that – strange how some comments stay with you. Just like Zaheer does, if you ever saw him play.
What is in a name
There are lots if you asked me, I am not going to list what is, now. Let us look at how a cricketing father named his son and probably explore reasons why he named so.
When you decide to take a name from Ramayan, Angad. A name even Ramanada Sagar would have some difficulty locating. He was the son of Vaali and Tara, nephew of Sugriv.
You don’t stop there, in fact go a step further. Yes, take the name of your favorite cricketer of that time, split it and add it with the other half of another cricketer you like and put that as a middle name.
No, that is not enough of a name you say. And then add your family name and the name of the clan you belong to.
Then comes the name “Angad Gavasinder Singh Bedi”. Let me expand the name for you, Angad Gavaskar Mohinder Singh Bedi.
Yes it is (Sunil) Gavaskar & Mohinder (Amarnath).
This name has some kind of a funny aura around it. Makes you burst out laughing the moment you hear this name, doesn't it ?
Well “What is in a name ?”
When your father is the temperamental acerbic Bishen Singh Bedi, then you never know when the name would change and to what.
Those (these) days he doesn’t like Gavaskar, he would drop the middle part completely. And you become Angad Bedi.
Now imagine a scenario when he likes Greg Chappell and Maurice Odumbe ? How horrible the (new) middle name becomes.
So, what is in your name ?
Picture courtesy: The Hindu
Gattuso, a particularly foul wicketkeeper
Hello Kaka, Pirlo, Gattuso,
Do you guys know that your AC Milan was once a cricket club?
Wikipedia confirms.
dhoni and i are going to the dogs...
dhoni has found his new 'puppy' love...and promised to treat her like a 'princess'...
if any evidence is required then you have not given the pic the attention it requires...however i know someone who has not only given this pic more attention than it requires (for my comfort) but is also in a state of deep sorrow...
my labrador 'pogo'...
now i am in real danger...first pogo refuses to come out of his devdas trance...and second and more importantly i sense my days of watching team india's matches are as good as over...for another sighting of dhoni with pogo around can prove fatal for me...
dhoni...how could you do this to my dog...and if you did it...you should have at least restrained from going public...
ahh...pogo has come and just threatened me...to write an open letter to maneka gandhi on the torture i have inflicted on him by deliberately reading today's TOI in his presence, exposing him to such heartbreak...
bachaooo!!!
picture courtesy: times of india
The week it was…
Strange last 7 days it has been for world cricket. There have been certain things that happened which nobody could ever have imagined.
No, not Bangladesh blanking the duplicate Westindian team
Not the (latest) winningest position Pakistan are at, from where they could scrape through some dead rubber
Not England, not Freddie, not Achilles or Pietersen and not anything at all to do with the elated English cricket establishment.
Oh, all the not’ would be naught’ if I forgot to mention that I am not talking about Ponting’s humility accepting a defeat
So what am I talking about ?
There was this ICC Centenary History Conference that happened in Oxford. There were some known names like Clive Lloyd, Sunil Gavaskar, Bob Willis, Angus Fraser & Ehsan Mani. Some not so known names like Roger Knight (Ex-Secretary MCC), David Richards(ICC’s first CEO), Rachael Heyhoe-Flint (Ex-England women’ captain), Charlotte Edwards & Ebony Rainford-Brent (current England women’ team), a group of journalists and one name which people in the cricketing cricles would run away from, Bishen Singh Bedi.
Bedi participated in a discussion (really ??) with Lloyd. The most surprising thing is that there is no mention of what Bedi spoke in this conference in any of the sites I searched for. I am sure Clive Lloyd outspoke the acerbic tongued Sardar.
Who would have imagined this ?
Well all this apart, who would have imagined that they would waste days discussing about the history of this great game in the last 100 years ?
Simple & uncomplicated history this great game is, one could finish telling the story in just three lines. Yes I am not joking.
“A game invented by the English
Played by champion Westindies & Australian teams (pepper it with other countries if you like !!)
Taken over completely by the Indian money managers”
Long live this great game !!
Long live the money & its Indian managers !!
Jinxed and Sphinxed – Old Egyptian curse or new Indian nazar lag gaye?
It’s not like Twitter, where if you follow somebody they will follow you. Here at BCCi when we follow somebody, the world starts to unfollow them. Or follow them for the wrong reasons.
Take Jatman for instance, he was taken away. No sooner that he became Jatman on March 11, this year, it all started to go awry – the Kiwi tour, IPL2, injury, T20 World, and injury again. In between there were some weird scenes with media and MS too.
But this was the least of it – Jatman was blue chip again. A dodgy season wasn’t going to hurt him anymore.
Not so for Cheteshwar Pujara. When he got a name-lift as Che he had a readymade poster and life ahead of him. IPL2 was waiting at his feet. Then the knee injury (within weeks of baptism) knocked him over. No IPL, out of action for 6 months. The only silver lining, if you can call it that, he didn’t play for the Knight Riders. That would have knocked the daylights out of him.
Next: Badri and Mishra
Kevin Pietersen: English Jatman?
Jatman
Breaking it's silence over the controversy surrounding Virender Sehwag's injury, the BCCI came out in defence of the dashing opener by saying that it was aware of his shoulder injury before the Twenty20 World Cup squad was picked.
English Jatman:
The ECB has not yet revealed the cause of Pietersen's Achilles problem, but it was aware the injury had been troubling him during the West Indies tour. Which begs the question why Hugh Morris, the director of the England cricket and someone present throughout that trip, allowed him to take part in the Indian Premier League.
Jatman has many avatars.
Is he one of them?
Morris also allowed Flintoff to take part in April's IPL, which is where the all-rounder first damaged his right knee, the cause of his impending retirement from Test cricket.
Compared to these men, isn't Sachin one clever guy - he just retires hurt when injured.
Danish Kaneria, on the offensive!
Kaneria offends with ball, then tounge and then ball again:
5-83 in the first, a reprimand for abusing Mathews and more wickets in the second. Looks like little boy blue is out of his shell. The world can go to hell. And so can you.
Had Harry Potter been a cricketer...
If girls like me, that's great...they all scream and it all goes mad, but that's a different type of me - that's the red carpet me...but the me that sits in a darkened room for eight hours a day watching the cricket with a big bowl of pasta in my socks and my underwear is not nearly so appealing to women.
These words from Daniel Vettori…err..Daniel Radcliffe...put me in a Sherlock Holmesque conundrum.
Had Harry Potter been a cricketer, what he would have been?
A pie-chucker dishing out left or right arm filth? A mindless slogger? A soporific stonewaller?
Or possibly an ICL rebel!
When I came across the first Harry sketch, the scar on the face immediately caught my eyes. JK Rowling did manage to convince her gullible readers that some Lord Voldemort’s curse rebounded off Harry’s forehead, as if it was a carom board, resulting in the dent.
But from cricketing point of, the scar was a tell-tale sign of someone whose suspect technique against the rising delivery has left a permanent tattoo on his forehead.
Let's face the truth, Harry could have been in India's ODI middle order.
Continuing with his batting, I have this sneaking suspicion that Harry was possibly more comfortable against the spinners. The magic broom suggests he was a natural sweeper and chances are there that he used the long handle to good effect too.
Fancy Rowling's Harry Potter facing cricket's own Harry Potter Daniel Vettori. And it can’t be just a coincidence that Vettori and Radcliffe share their name!
At the same time, considering that he has been doing all the running around on magic brooms, it would be difficult to vouch for his running between the wickets. In fact, I would rather be surprised if he is not actually in the mould of a say Inzamam-ul-Haq or a Sourav Ganguly.
Evidence doesn't suggest much about his fielding but since he plays in the Seeker's position in the queer game of Quidditch, where his primary job is to search for the Snitch, Harry could be one of those fielders in the deep with a strong throwing arm.
Similarly, lack of evidence blighted my view of Harry the bowler. But considering he doesn't come from the sub-continent, we can safely assume that he has not been reported for suspect bowling action so far.
pakistan’s dead rubber bullies…
that’s what misbah, malik and specially kamran akmal are...
no wonder these gents scored when it mattered...albeit not for the team but to save their skin in the nick of time...to reserve their ticket for another tour...
it's a pity when they should be assuming the leadership role to take pak cricket forward...all they manage is to do enough to remain in the team...exactly what they did in this match so that they will not get dropped...and what's more if pak will win all their deficiencies will be glossed over...
nobody will remember the catches dropped...stumping chances missed and even regular takes fumbled by kamran akmal...in fact dilshan looked far more assured is an understatement...and he doesn’t even keep in ODIs...
this is what i noted...when i had a discussion with fellow bored member Q...on may 4 2009...clearly well ahead of this series...
does this include the crucial runs (or may be matches) pak would have lost or not won coz of his droppings...?
his main skill is wicket keeping than if he scores well and good...or include him as batsman only and find a wicket keeper who keeps well...
also i would have liked to see his latest ton coming in 'live' match...
whenever his place is in doubt he comes up with a knock which allow him to drop more catches...miss stumping in following matches...and cycle continues...
it wasn’t far off the mark...was it...?
Here's to the Pakistan Sri Lanka Dead Rubber test
It’s not like we’re locked at two and two
Oh no man, we’re done and dusted, through and through
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
But oh no man, you haven’t had your fill
Your want more, one last encore
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
Why don’t you give them back their money
And tell them to go away, go away people
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
It’s a travesty, playing for pride, it is
I said, it’s a travesty, playing for pride, it is
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
I want it scrapped, you want it scrapped
Who in his right mind doesn’t want it scrapped?
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
Can’t take the stink of burning dead rubber
No, no, can’t take the stink, can’t take the stink
Dead rubber blues, dead rubber blues
(A repost, written Aug 08)
Saving Private Ryan was easier. Here we are saving Private cricket - test cricket, if you please. What's wrong with this 3rd test could so easily be what's right with this 3rd test?
1) Vaas' retirement home
2) Sri Lanka missfielding a team
3) How many dead rubbers are won by the losing team?
4) No Pakistan collapse
5) No BAW Mendis
6) MASTERdeBATE too is bored stiff
7) No Afridi
8) Malik makes a 100
9) No Razzaq
10)Mike Hayesmen in particular
11)Commentary in general
12)OK, I can't talk about this test no more
Michael Atherton's S-Mug shot
There is some cricket stuff you always grapple with – like, was Michael Atherton ever a cricketer. Did he ever play with a cricket bat and not just his little microphone? The other evening, I’m with a re-run of Freddie’s game, and who pops into frame – Atherton, so smug, you’d think he took a five for and beat the Aussies single-handedly with mike in hand, doing one of his cocky interviews. And while accepting the trophy for the wimp of the match, he’ll nonchalantly say, “Even Rudi can’t give that out”
What’s a regulation catch?
I’m on my way out, when Mr Osman stops me in my tracks. He has a question for me. Mr O always has questions. The other day, someone asked him, and now he’s Chinese whispering it to me. Yeah, he does talk softly. So here it is – “What’s a regulation catch?” I was ready for many questions, a general enquiry on construction material, but not this.
So it takes me a second to tell him, “It’s a simple catch!”
He’s not nearly as satisfied as he’d like to be – so he says, “then, what are other catches?”
I’m in the loop with him, “they’re not regulation…” and I play on, “a regulation catch you gotta take…you’re expected to take…take it in your sleep…even a kid should take it”
I wanted to add, but didn’t, “even you can take it!” and "even I can take it!"
He folded his hands, nodding, almost marvelling at the mysterious ways of cricket.
For Mr O’s sake, tell me, what is a regulation catch?
The Invisible Man: Shakib Al Hasan
The Shakibbing continued in the Windies, against a less than worthy opponent. Man of the moment, Man of the match, man of the series, Shakib Al Hasan, captain, bowler, batsman, what more will you have him do? Play better teams for one, right?
(At BCC! we started all this Shakibbing stuff, click back a few pages - soon, it will be cool to be Shakibbing)
Exclusive BCC! Interview with Flintoff - see who he thanks for Lord's
BCC!: Nobody expected you to bowl so many overs unchanged – how did you do it Freddie?
Freddie: MumbleMumbleMumbleMumble5MumbleLord’sMumbleMumble…MumbleMumbleMumbleMumble
BCC!: What did Strauss and Flower say to you before start of play?
Freddie: UmmMumble
BCC!: You think the body will hold till the end of the Ashes
Freddie: GottaMumbleMumbleBigMumbleEffort
BCC!: Anyone you’d like to thank for your efforts
Freddie: MumbleBumble…
(look out for more of the same soon)
Let's talk about umpires, baby!
I'm thinking umpires, after this chat about chases at Well Pitched –
Golandaaz:
I think it’s the case of too little too late for Australia. All 400+ chases in Test Cricket have been architected by the top order. The only 350+ chase I remember, not starred by the top order, was against Pakistan by Gilchrist and Langer I think.
Australia winning is highly unlikely.
Q:
Golandaaz, You are right abt the Langer / Gilchrist chase orchestrated by the lower order.. however had the umpire given Langer out, as he was edging Wasim Akram behind the stumps, it would have never happened.
How that loss still hurts.
Coming back, so yeah the big chases have been due to the top order.. but if a fresh Clarke and Haddin can come firing in the morning, who knows what can happen..
Naked Cricket:
Q, Golandaaz, that Langer test of yours - Parker and Wiley umpired.
It was Parker who didn't give Langer's edge, right?
The edge was thick, and so was Parker.
Btw not that we care, but Parker turned 50 y'day. The Langers were over.
Ok, here is what I’m driving at: Peter Parker was an Aussie umpire officiating in a test match played by Australia v Pakistan. That was November, 1999. Ten years on, we have neutral umpires.
And while games like Hobart are tough to let go off, how easy will it be for the Aussies to forget Lord’s and forgive the neutral South African umpire?
Much as Lord's will be about Freddie for the Poms, it will be about Rudi for the Aussies.
The argument that Australia was outplayed 5 outta 5 days and England would still have won, doesn't hold here.
How far can Human Technology be? If ever there was a case, for a strong Nokia branding (human technology is their line), to interface man and machine, it is now.
The umpire can be the coat rack, ball counter, PR man on field, there are still many roles for him - best of all, we need him to stand there, fill space. Almost like a tradition we cannot let go off. But at the same time, these moronic mistakes (albeit human and unintentional) are starting to sully the sport.
Bring on the machines. Sir Don said so a long time ago, what do you say sir?
mithchell johnson's woes: one could see it coming
as early as march 2009 during south africa's tour of australia...we at BCC! observed that it won't take johnson long to turn turtle the way he is taking the load...much like brett lee...
this is what we noted then...
he has bowled nearly 450 overs in his last 9 tests...club that with the time spent while batting...and you can imagine the herculean effort he puts in for australia match after match...innings after innings...
but till when?
we have already seen what happened to brett lee...he succumbed to the relentless workload of carrying the attack after the retirements of stalwarts like warne and macgrath...
...and it won't be long before johnson too will burn out that last ounce of energy left in him...
the scenario can't be ruled out when it will be time for fully fit brett lee raring to go at opponents...johnson will be cooling his heels in a quiet rehabilitation room...
this explains...?
australia could have been 1-1 but for ponting...
face it ponting...
but for your never ending mid pitch conferences with bowlers and your itchy penchant to discuss game with umpires when other captain would get on with his job...you could have been 1-1...despite flintoff's heroics...and not even strauss could have done anything with his 'time wasting' tactics then...
Early Bored Call: Who will win Lord's
England. Had there been another four hours in yesterday's play, would have gone with Clarke and Haddin. Right now, I'll just go with Mohali.
England's best hope.
As Indian bloggers(and commenters like yours truly) went rabid on Aussie blogs, annoying the sh*t out of the latter by use of the word ‘karma’, quietly, the tough b**tards went to work. The unlikely duo of Pup and Mr.Spirit-of-Cricket(jr)* a.k.a. Brad Haddin quietly hauled Oz back into the game. As things stand, Australia stand on the verge of breaking the door open for a famous victory
So, one mulls, what’s England’s best hope? Is it that so-called great bowler, and greatest all rounder(since Botham, screw it, greatest ever) Freddie Flintoff? But then, he already has taken 2 wickets, and that’s pretty much his quota for an innings in general.
Is it going to be Swann? One hardly thinks so, Pup is the best player of spin in this team, and Haddin knows enough to block and beat Swann.
Would it be Onions or Anderson then? Well, surely Anderson got 80% of his haul for the series in the 1st innings? And Onions? Ha!Ha! Woe betide the world where Onionses hack off Australia?
That leaves Stuart Broad and Paul Collingwood, both bits-and-pieces all rounders, and it is a telling comment that Strauss would be better off trusting the latter than the former.
Who then can save England?
One thinks, thinks, and thinks….and then it strikes one…Eureka!
Why, it is Rudi of course? England’s only hope today.
What a riot that would be – 3 South Africans in English garb screwing Australia? Sounds delicious.
by Raj
why 'gift' a farewell...
so chaminda vaas is playing today...he is included in the team to accord a farewell on account of his contributions to sri lankan cricket...
as far as i go chaminda vaas has gone way past his use-by-date...he was not even the fifth choice bowler therefore was not selected when the series was 'live' which confirms my stand...
i have no problems with the notion that a player who has given his 100% to the nation and contributed to cricket should be given farewell befitting his stature...
but at the same time..why 'gift' a deserving place to a player who is not even deemed fit to play at that level...form and skill wise...?
Well Done Yuvraj!! Befitting reply to Buchanan..
Reacting to Buchanan's comment in his just released book, 'The Future of Cricket: Rise of Twenty20', where he said that "Yuvraj would just walk off after training, leaving all his gears and rubbish because he was used to someone else picking up after him", Yuvraj said caustically: "I must have told Buchanan to carry my stuff after a Knight Riders game in the IPL and that is why he wrote all those things about me in his book."
Yuvraj Singh's comment made my day yesterday. It got my adrenalin going. It was a befitting reply to Buchanan's cheap publicity stunts.
In his book, Buchanan also wrote that Yuvraj tries to imitate former Indian skipper Sourav Ganguly but lacks dignity.
But don't we know who actually lacks dignity... a person who indulges in such cheap behaviour in order to sell his book.
Someone who's never played cricket for his country has the bludy cheek to make such comments on the most prolific and stylish batsman in world cricket at the moment.
No point comparing Yuvraj with Ganguly. Two very different batsmen with totally different personalities. And Yuvraj has his own inimitable style. His athleticism is unparalled in Indian cricket.
In fact, I would go on to say that Yuvraj is perhaps one of the very few contemporary batsmen who would ever come close to great Viv Richards in terms of: 1. Fearlessness, 2. Intimidation of the opposition, 3. Supercool approach while at the crease, 4. Style (walk and swagger), 5. Hitting prowess.
Well done Yuvraj. One can expect such a response only from the valiant Jatts of Punjab. Your answer to Buchanan is also what we refer to as 'typical Punjabi sense of humour'. Very practical and earthy.
Overheard at Colombo
Bored Peon: You know Chaminda Vaas is retiring so Sri Lanka are playing him today and giving him a farewell test.
Bored Neon: Yeah I heard. Is Danish Kaneria also retiring?
Bored Peon: No, he hasn't announced it.
Bored Neon: Then why is he playing?
This could be Lord’s or this could be Mohali!
Right now I’d like to be on a flight to London, minor issues of visa notwithstanding. There is an almost magnetic pull to some test matches – like Mohali, October, 2008, the 5th day. India on the verge, Australia on the edge. And here we are again, Lord’s, July, 2009, the 5th day, England on the verge, Australia, you know where they are.
4th day, Mohali, Australia finished 5 down (ditto Lord’s) – Clarke and Haddin still there. That series though, neither Haddin’s mind nor feet were moving. Now, Haddin is uncluttered, and batting with him is, Clarke boy again.
Looking back, Mohali, like Lord’s, followed a drawn test. Both 2nd tests, and in both tests, Australia’s adversaries had the follow-on option, which they did not use. Useless I say.
In both tests, Australia was set a target in excess of 500. (516 and 522)
That 5th day in Mohali, you remember what Zaks did – he did Australia in. Who will do them tomorrow?
You know what I'm thinking: Really miss Teri Maa Ki - that was the the Teri 'Marquee' series!
Post Match Note - Both matches were lost by Australia pre-lunch. That's food for thought.
Mendis no longer Splendid...
It all starts again tomorrow.
The Debate.
Oh yeah the test match too.
Remember the wager Damith?
Let me remind you in case your black hole has been blocking some information.
"Mendis takes less than 15 wickets in this 3-test series, Damith will stop calling him splendid."
So then, lets take a look at where we stand now.
62-5-217-5
Those are Ajantha Mendis' figures right now.
An average of over 40 and a strike rate of almost 75.
Ouch!
The fact that Pakistan have still lost is sad, but Mendis must be sadder, for sure!
So then Damith, another 10 in the 3rd test?
I highly doubt it.
Actually with Vaas making his return for a farewell test, Mendis might not even play.
Falling short by 10 wickets... ouch!
Teri Marquee
As far as rebranding the BG series goes , I vote for "The Marquees " ...this is what Ind and Aus will battle for - provided of course that Aus have a team left anymore and Ind manage 10-12 spectators on the ground
Anyway , so the losing captain will hand over the trophy to his counterpart at the end of the series with the following words : " Yeh le , yeh ab teri Marquee"
how to play short pitch bowling...
with eyes closed...head down...swing bat in hope rather than conviction...and pray that the ball does not land in the waiting hands of trap laid exactly for that purpose...
...and they said WE can't play short pitch stuff...
pix courtesy - times of india
Minutes of the Bored Meeting:
Take a peep. The bored meeting was held inside many such bottles.Bored Members Present: Bhaskar Khaund (who flew in from Dubai), K and NC who flew in from Delhi. The Bored meeting was held in Delhi. Two Khufia Bored guests also contributed to the cause.
picture by moi
KhufiaBaaz:Check out Gavaskar's football club!
Rohan Gavaskar is one of the 6 owners of the football club Pune FC.
Rohan - “It’s out of passion for the game. There are no financial considerations”
“It was a dream to own a football club and we aren't driven by the idea of changing Indian football.”
“I know Indian football is followed only in pockets of the country. So we intend building our own team of supporters in Pune.”
What would it have been to watch Barry Richards bat?
It's darn good just to hear Barry Richards talk cricket. The twitter laughs, glint in the eye, snowy white mop on head, looks like he won't walk but bounce like a bunny. And when he talks cricket, there's an evil bounce there too - he can be dismissive yet inviting, simple yet enlightening. In a world of hedgers, he's the straight shooter.
Have you seen him bat, tell me about it. And while we're at it, Happy Bored Day, Barry Sahab! Hainhainhain!!
(look out for Barry Richards profile on your left, tomorrow it'll be just another kid)
Why is England batting?
To win the Ashes, of course. This is all part of a great plan: Bowl the Aussie bowlers into the ground, so far into the ground that they will reappear in China. And you know what happens to illegal immigrants there. So basically, England will bat and bat and bat and then some more, which of course means Australia will have to bowl and bowl and bowl and then some more, which of course means, whatever.
They will play responsibly, career, average and skin cleansing innings. They will come out looking much better, literally so. So what if it’s a draw, in the greater scheme of things, it’ll all end well. Fin.
ashes: england should send flintoff one down...
england should send flintoff at one down with the license to go for kill...
it will serve them two purpose with one stroke...
while ball being relatively hard he can flex his muscle without doing all the running...and even if he gets out...will give him more time to recuperate that ailing knee...to be used properly as bowler...
Third Man #Ashes
Nowadays, the only Third Man in an Ashes test is in the Sky TV com box.
To follow on or not to follow on is that the question?
By batting on, and averting the follow-on, the Aussie tail-enders could be doing England no small favour – for one, it takes the dodgy decision making out of England’s itchy hands. That’s fine, as England don’t look too hot on decisions. This way, it’s pretty simple – England bat again, and more importantly, KP and the other duds can work at redemption.
Also, there's this not so minor issue, how much has Freddie left in the tank? You don't want him to retire like Kumble, in the middle of a match. Don't want to be even tempted by a follow on, do you Strauss?
Just go out there with a clear head skip, not thinking about no follow on.
A stray thought, what's the max a captain should bowl his boys, before eliminating the follow on option - 75 overs?
And they say we can't play short bowling
32.4
Onions to Katich, OUT, this is up in the air at fine leg - what a catch! A stunner from Broad. On the pull, he top-edged it and Broad ran 10 or 12 yards to his right before diving, taking it low. Brilliant
SM Katich c Broad b Onions 48 (93b 6x4 0x6) SR: 51.61
45.5
Broad to Johnson, OUT, another one falls for the trap! Broad bangs it in short and Johnson hooks, but he can't keep it down, it skies out to Cook at deep square leg
MG Johnson c Cook b Broad 4 (11b 1x4 0x6) SR: 36.36
47.5
Broad to Haddin, OUT, Broad strikes with another short one! Haddin hooks but doesn't get enough of it and it bobs up to midwicket where Cook takes the catch
BJ Haddin c Cook b Broad 28 (38b 3x4 0x6) SR: 73.68
And there was North, who looked to pull, but it wasn't short enough.
Earlier on the shorter stuff, Strauss...
KhufiaBaaz: Bhajji on Sreesanth.
"Destiny had me and Sreesanth visiting and paying homage to Lord Rameshwara. I feel after what had happened at the IPL last year, this has been redemption in front of God for both of us. We all commit mistakes, we are his children and we are all in universal brotherhood.
The bond is indeed unique which Shenta (Sreesanth) and I share. And let me clear it once again, he has always been close to me. There are some happy memories spend together in the dressing room and it was good to have him around and together visiting the holy temple. I await his return to the Indian team sometime soon. Like I told him, he has to play well in the domestic games and he can be playing for India again."
KhufiaBaaz:Bhajji on bad language
"I thank you all for your feedback on the book of the great coach. I have gone through each of them, and apologise for not having been able to respond to each on your post. I had expressed my views, and appreciate the same expressed by most of you. However, would request you to not abuse anyone. One has all rights to criticize someone’s thought but its unfair to use abusive language.
As children read this blog, request you to refrain from using unparliamentarily language."
The Ashes, Lord's, Day 2 (Behind the scenes coverage)
The Aussie stayed in their rooms last night.
But for Siddle, who was in his cage.
Siddle's Cage is marked - Cagey B.
Siddle finding it tough - needs to be on all fours.
Also, Ponting isn't very good with animals - he just throws the ball to Siddle, should be Fetch! Good Boy! Fetch!
They got the Ashes, WTF have we got: Border Gavaskar Trophy?
The Ashes. Soaked in tradition, baked and fried in tradition, and then, a toast to tradition. If you were a doubting Thomas, you’d be canonised by the Ashes. Just because they’re called the Ashes.
You know the two teams. England and Australia. If anything, today, when they play each other, it doesn’t seem right to say they’re playing for the Ashes. Better if you said, they’re playing for crumbs.
Look at England. They have fight in them, when it comes to No. 10 and 11. Look at Australia, they whine. And can’t get No. 10 and 11 out for 11 overs. And then they whine some more.
Then you have India and Australia. It’s a dog fight. That too between two rabid dogs. And what are they playing for: The Border Gavaskar trophy.
That’s right: you ever heard a soldier saying to his Ma, “I’m going to battle, to fight for my country, to win the Border Gavaskar Trophy.”
No way. And now we’re talking about the death of test cricket.
We need a war cry, war paint, war!
A war waged to save test cricket and tell the world what matters – it’s not the Ashes. It’s not Australia South Africa. It’s not India Pakistan either, anyway, that’s not happening.
It’s India Australia, damn it.
It’s in you, it’s in me, and it’s in them.
Feel it. Feel it bad enough that you want to pull their eye balls out.
Feel it so f**king deep that you’ll lose it all to win the series.
What series? What will you call it?
Not the Border Gavaskar Trophy. That’s just etched on the silverware.
What’s tattooed on your heart, brother?
Far more advanced than the Rapidex English speaking course -
-The English cricket speaking course by Stephen Fry: Excerpts from his speech at Lord's.
A new kind of bitterness has entered some quarters of the game as ex-players become commentators, columnists and journalists and begin to turn on their erstwhile teammates, dispraising the current players, pouring scorn on their technique and deprecating their tactical nous. We have video of course and can see that these pundits know what they were talking about: historical archive reveals that Boycott, Botham, Gower, Atherton, Willis, and Hussein were never out playing a false shot, never shuffled across, never missed a captaincy trick, never dropped a catch, never posted a fielder in the wrong place and never bowled off line or off length in the entire course of their careers.
The benefits and the drawbacks of broadcast technology bewilder us. Hotspots and Hawkeye, referrals and replays, umpires have never been more pressured and exposed and greater more seismically structural questions have never been asked about the meaning and spirit of the game. The rewards are greater, the stakes are higher, the price of failure more public and humiliating.
Stephen Fry was at Lord's today, so was Mick Jagger, the latter did not sing at the Long room though.
The second Ashes test starts at Lord's. (behind the scenes coverage)
England win the toss, elect to bat. No respite for the tailenders. Both James Anderson and Monty Panesar are padded up. And Monty isn't even playing.
Lunch, Eng 125/0. Anderson is a much relieved man as he removes his pads.
England's collapse can wait for a later session. After the disappointments of Cardiff, surely Lord's will be England's Adelaide.
Just shows there's a bit of Pakistan in England. In the recent past, after numerous 100+ partnerships, England has flattered to, you guessed right, decieve, and lose the plot. This is not a work of fiction.
Ok, that's 3 for 71, not quite up to Pak's high standards, but give them time - this is England. KP, what can you say about him, looked like some DC comic character out of place in the real world. His bat sounded like it was made of cheap alloy. I think he had Freddie on his mind.
Reckon Collingwood is due. To fail. Over and out.
Ok, he did fail, what more do you want me to say, I called it? After his previous innings, he needed some time out.
(222/2) After double nelsen, now triple nelsen strikes (333/6)- at this rate, dead Nelsen could strike too
IPL format needs a change
As the concept of the World Test Championship came up for discussion on BCC!, I thought it was the appropriate time for me to mention my dissatisfaction with the IPL format.
The IPL was orginally conceptualized on the basis of a league... something similar to the football leagues of Europe, where each team plays against the other on a home and away basis and at the end of the season, the most consistent team is rewarded with the trophy.
However, what we see in the IPL is a preliminary stage (league) followed by a knock-out stage (semis, final). This knock-out stage should not be part of the format. According to me if the IPL wants to reward the most consistent team, the competition should end once the league matches are over with the top ranked team winning the trophy.
If the IPL still wants the hype and hoopla of the semis and final, each semi and the final must be best-of-three.
The current system does not do justice to teams like the Delhi Daredevils. Our Daredevils did all the hardwork for 14 matches and topped the table. But they were knocked-out in the semis as they had one bad day.
World Test Championship
The ICC is proposing to hold a World Test Championship, day/night matches and pink balls to make Test cricket more exciting. I feel that there are many problems with the whole concept.
The first thing is that for most people, matches are only interesting when it is closely fought and their team has a chance of winning. This applies to series and championships too. Any Test Cup would be interesting only if the outcomes are not very predictable.
Unfortunately, that is not the case now. In Test cricket, the gaps between some teams is too wide, even between teams that are closely placed in the rankings. For example, New Zealand would easily thrash Bangladesh, even though they are just one step above them. Australia easily whips most teams, except India and South Africa in recent times.
Test cricket is designed to minimize the element of luck. That is why there are two innings so that one bad effort by the team doesn't get punished - it has to fail twice. The artificial pressure of time is much less than in limited overs cricket. So by design, Test cricket ensures that there are more crushing victories than close matches or upsets.
In a Twenty20 match, the underdog always have a chance by taking risks or by fluke wickets. That is seldom going to happen in Test cricket. Unless, of course, you are going to tamper with things, such as the rules or pitch conditions and so forth.
Test cricket will be better served by reducing Test matches between mismatched teams. Also, there should be Best-of-3 and Best-of-5 contests so that there are no more dead rubber matches and whitewashes. That would improve the quality of cricket being played.
Bored Reaction: Andrew Flintoff Retirement Booze up .
Two consecutive smses from Bored Members informed me about Freddie's retirement. It was as if he had retired twice in two seconds. If world reaction is to believed, you’d think Ian Botham just retired mid-way through Beefy’s Ashes.
When I read the first sms, I laughed. Not a loud, hysterical laugh, but the sort of snigger meant for Shoaib Akhtar’s comebacks. In a way I was glad, somebody else will get a break now.
Btw what was your reaction, did you react at all? Freddies reaction, "I can't believe me ears - Cheers all, drinks on the house!"
Bored Reaction: Have you lost it?
First your team loses it. Then you lose it. Not your virginity but your sanity. Right, that's you in the corner...losing your religion. Over at Well Pitched, a few comments led to this post and series -
Husha - BTW, "it makes us break the TV screen" resonates with me especially...in 2003 when Pakistan lost against some team in the World Cup, I don't remember (probably India), my dad broke a couple of vases in his anger!
Q - I know people who have actually thrown a glass, an ashtray, and an apple at the TV screen!
What kind of people do you know? What have you done? When you really lost it? Tell me son, this is confession time. I won't tell anyone. Only you're gonna tell the whole world.
Kambli presses the self-destruct button once again
Vinod Kambli, known for his knack to press the self-destruct button, damaged his image (among cricket fans) beyond repair when he recently announced on a television gameshow that his childhood chum Sachin Tendulkar could have done a lot more to help him when the former was going through a rough patch in his career.
This is not all, Kambli also accused the BCCI of discriminating against him on the basis of his CASTE and COLOUR.
After all this, the Mumbai southpaw stated that he never said anything against Tendulkar and even apologised to him.
Only Vinod Kambli could have managed this bizarre sequence of events. These are the most ridiculous comments I have ever heard from an Indian cricketer.
Had the BCCI discriminated against Kambli, he would never have made it to the Indian team in the first place. Further, had the BCCI discriminated against him, he would never have got as many as seven opportunities to stage a comeback. For all you know, it was Tendulkar who put in a word for him everytime he made his way back into the team.
Kambli's inconsistency, poor technique and temperament were perhaps the biggest reasons for his downfall. Sachin could do very little to address these problems for Kambli as Sachin himself had to shoulder the burden of the entire Indian batting line-up at that stage.
KhufiaBaaz: IPL responsible for Andrew Flintoff’s test retirement.
Not the BBC or the Times will tell you the real reason why Freddie Flintoff retired – it was to concentrate on his IPL career with the Chennai Super Kings. After a ‘rubbish’ performance with CSK this season, where Freddie bowled the most expensive spell, he was rightly devastated – it was either tests or IPL. Finally, IPL won! A huge relief for his millions of fans in the subcontinent. A small group of cricket fans in the UK mourned test cricket’s loss, but in the long run, Freddie knows, the IPL will take care of him, much better than anyone else.
Flintoff goes the Afridi way: retires from test cricket.
"My body has told me it's time to stop. Since 2005 I've had two years when I've done nothing but rehab from one injury or another."
Last week at Bored: “Andrew Flintoff: The Shahid Afridi of England”. Now see what he’s gone and done today - Retired from test cricket. He could have retired from many other pursuits, such as drinking, IPL, one-dayers, but the whites got shabbier.
Had he retired a few years back, Flintoff could have made something of his other careers – now, as was evident in the IPL, he’s a big lad with even bigger doubts.
But did he bowl a heavy, almost Stonehenge sized ball – though it seemed obvious in Cardiff, he was doing so under huge duress. He was a slave bowler, being whipped to bowl harder and faster, no longer master of his own limbs.
I expected him to break down on the field while England bowled him into the ground. Instead, he will walk away after an Ashes' summer. Or will he be on the stretcher to surgery once more?
Either way, the comparisons between him and Afridi are obvious. Both got away with murder. Both players have unfilled test careers. Both were unreasonably loved by their nations, because of which their selections depended more on their whims than their performance, fitness or criteria that worked for other players.
They were the star players. But when you look back, so fleeting were their test careers, they were more like the shooting stars.
what about the ipl worth of pakistani players now...
not so long ago...in fact just two matches before...when pakistan was on a high after winning t20 world championship there were reports that pakistani players were demanding more money to be featured in the next ipl...as they were not happy with their existing contract after their new champions status...
as usual plenty of debate in media and the blogs...
many said it was sheer opportunism...while others said they were worth it...
after two matches and three consecutive collapses...it will be interesting to see what sort of price they will demand with ipl franchisees...will the ‘worth’ be reviewed...?
before you make comments like that that was t20 and this is tests...
i would like you to see the nucleus of the team...or the final xi that played in these two tests...how many players were missing from the ‘t20’ lineup...?
so if they keep on collapsing even in other formats...do you really think that ‘market’ will evaluate their ‘worth’ the same way had pakistan won this series...?
In conclusion
The debate ended like the movie: with a Mexican standoff directed by the Straight Point. That was after Umar Gul filled in appropriately as Malaika Arora. So far back that Fawad Alam could well have been the difference. Well before that, while the Pakistani batsmen were demonstrating a jelly spine, the same could not have been said of the team's finest online cheerleader. Forget the Sri Lankan team, Q had no problem in getting personal with Damith. Much like an Aussie captain on another small island nation, Q called attention to Damith's tactics, and scored a few points with his rapier thrust. Damith's defence, was to question Q's questions about his tactics.
But that wasn't really required. Q admitted defeat shortly thereafter. Apart from spine, apparently the Pakistani team didn't have bats either. This was discovered well after Q had exhausted his quota of small joys for the rest of the year. Some time before his team failed him, his man stood up and threatened to make the difference. Q was in the seventh for a bit there. But Damith won, dude, though Mendis was quite a bit less than splendid.
From Jayasuriya to Warnapura
Warnapura scored 243 runs, (one century, two fifties) vs. India in five innings last July. From what I recall, he had a bit of Jayasuriya in him. He batted left-handed, opened the innings, and went for everything, and your mother too!
Then the Lankans didn’t pick him for the first three ODIs when he was on song. Instead they had Sanath and Sanga open, Warnapura came in for the 4th and 5th ODIs. Back then I thought it was stupid not to pick a form opener. Little exclusions like that can break a player - if I'm not picked now, when will they, when I'm 60 years' old?, to warp a Sachinism.
Here at Bored, Damith (our Lankan Bored Member) along with the rest of them, love taking the Mickey outta Malinda (Warnapura). Today, he came in all AK47s blazing, shooting at will, like the madcap I remember from that forgettable series.
Anyway, whether Sanath can play ODIs well into his 40s is not the question – is it time for Lanka to break the umbilical cord with their favourite son?
Could mean more faith in guys like Warnapura, who aren’t exactly in their teens. FYI he’s 30 plus. That should mean another ten years in Lankan cricket, right?
fawad alam could be the difference...
so pakistan just about managed the same lead as the debutant scored in this innings...
will he be the difference between the two sides determined to commit harakiri...?
will he be the lucky charm pakistan needs so desperately to come out of the hole...?
can't wait to get the answer...
WHO'S YOUR MAN?
Q has come out of the closet with his man love for Fawad Alam a few blogs ago( a blog is the only quantity in which bored members measure time),
and asked Damith to come out too.
Damith doesn't seem to love Splendid Mendis that much to come out in the open about it. or does he love King Kumar more?
However, what's stopping the rest of us from declaring our love out in the open.
Let me begin then,
Fidel Edwards is my man,
What's cooler than a West Indian quick? He gets a li'l cranky at times, doesn't mind giving the batsmen an earful and wants to behead jimmy anderson every time he bowls to him.
that's all i could ever ask for.
so c'mon bored fellas,
WHO'S YOUR MAN AND WHY???
by Prafs
6 LBWs
Looks like the Pakistanis forgot that they had bats in their hands.
I hope now they remember that they have some balls in their hands.
Lets get the facts in the way of a good story
Q, Why the personal attacks ?
I guess I would also fall to such lows after 9 for 35 collapse.
We are battle weary though and know that we must offer Waranapura and Mahela as a sacrifice to the cricketing gods to pull off this win.
Look I am not trying to rub it in but you did loose 9-35. I mean 9-35 that is pretty shithouse if you ask me.
9-35 in 15 overs or so. That is bad my friend. I mean 9-35, woowee.
Is Monty of Pakistani descent ? Might wanna reclaim him if he is.
Talk About Convenience
Why does Damith only wake up when Sri Lanka is on top or doing well in a game?
Where does he disappear to when Sri Lanka are looking down the barrel?
Does Damith have a black hole, in which he resides during the bad times?
Or does he have a secret hide out like the Kalu's Getaway?
More importantly, how does Damith hear about Sri Lanka's comebacks in his recluse?
Does he have pigeons that fly in with notes?
Does he have a cellular device that works insude black holes where he communicates with only those who will give him only good news?
I also wonder whether he has a black eye-band and white cotton wool, which he uses for his eyes and ears to ignore all the times that Sri Lanka are down.
So Damith, what is it buddy?
Oh snap, Pakistan doing the Pakistan AGAIN !
1-85 (Khurram Manzoor, 24.4 ov),
2-285 (Younis Khan, 78.1 ov),
3-294 (Mohammad Yousuf, 81.2 ov),
4-303 (Misbah-ul-Haq, 86.5 ov),
5-303 (Fawad Alam, 87.2 ov),
6-306 (Kamran Akmal, 88.3 ov),
7-312 (Shoaib Malik, 89.2 ov)
8-316 (Abdur Rauf, 90.2 ov)
9-319 (Umer Gul, 95.4 ov)
10-320 (Saeed Ajmal, 96.4 ov)
on why ponting is the ultimate saviour of rules and spirit of the game.
"They can play whatever way they want to play. We came to play by the rules and the spirit of the game. It’s up to them to do what they want to do."ponting meant every word of it...for the first time i truly believed what he said...
for the simple reason that he once even sacrificed australia's possible win against india to complete 90 overs assigned for the day...he did it just to play the game by the rules and the spirit...
tho it's another matter that some neckheads still beleive that he did so to protect his head being chopped off for couple of games...the 'truth' can't be further than this...
Bangladesh beat some sort of West Indies team.
Remember Tamim Iqbal and Shakib Al Hasan - over two years back they helped knock India out of the Carib World Cup, both scored 50s.While Tamim knocked Zaks around like some schoolboy, Shakib helped see Bangla through.
Today, Tamim was Man of the Match, where as Shakib scored runs, five wickets, and sealed the deal with the final wicket. In many ways it was the Best wicket.
They might only have beaten a half assed Windies team, but face it, they could have done the done thing and lost. And yeah, it was Tamim, Shakib and Mahmudullah who won it for them. Not Ashraful, not Mortaza.
While Ashraful scored 9 runs (6+3), Mortaza bowled 6.3 overs.
It's tough to say how good Bangla was, because who saw that match? OK, Tony Cozier was forced too. As were the umpires.
But this does open a new debate, should weaker teams play second string sides from stronger cricketing nations?
SCOOP: BCCI letter to MSD lands in BCC!
Dear MSD,
This is to inform you that while the Board, in principle, has no real objection to the break given to Team India, there has been a serious apprehension among a certain quarter that while it would allow you people to catch breath, at the same time it's a proposition fraught with the risk of the players gathering rusts.
Fortunately, a new door has opened before us and Vanuatu has been accorded Associate membership of the ICC. The Board derives immense pleasure in conveying that we have inked a deal with the cricket association in Vanuatu to go there for a full bilateral series, which, is guaranteed to get an ICC windowpane, if not the window itself, in near future.
Accordingly, we are working on the logistics and have commissioned cartographers to locate Vanuatu on the global map, a task which proved beyond us. Even though the majority questions Vanuatu's very existence and calls it a hoax, we have not given up hopes yet.
We can assure you that once we discover the land, we'll take care of the rest. Keyboard member Key board member Lalit Modi is in fact ready with a bunch of tenders to acquire a piece of land anywhere in the globe, name it Vanuatu and sue the original Vanuatu for plagiarism.
Without going into further details, I hereby ask you to tell your teammates to keep their passports ready, since it all may take place in very short notice.
So, shove some clothes in a suitcase -- some board members fear dressing may not be in vogue yet in Vanuatu -- and wait for our call. We are in the process of convincing the Civil Aviation Ministry to start chartered flight to Vanuatu and believe a breakthrough is in the offing.
With regards,
Saw-Sunk Manouevre
BCCI
Fawad Alam is My Man!
What is the best feeling that a cricket fan can have?
His team winning a match, a series, a world cup. That's probably right isn't it?
What's the best feeling that a cricket blogger can have?
A player that he has been talking up for a long time coming good in his very first match!
That is exactly what I am going through right now.
Every cricket blogger has his own man. His own cricketer. One that he wants to see play for his country. One that he feels will do well for his country. One that he hopes will do well when he gets his chance.
We have seen many cricket bloggers hype their men up; many have also seen their men don the international colours making them proud.
Some of these men lived up to the hype; some didn't.
My man today, lived up to all the expectations I had of him. He lived up to all the hype I had created around him.
He even surpassed some by becoming the first Pakistani batsman to hit a test century on debut on foreign soil.
Fawad Alam, you are my man and you have done me and Pakistan proud!
Damith, who is yours?
Imran - a Man of letters
Hello, it's I, Imran Khan, Generals and letters have played an important role in my life. The most important letter being the letter my name starts with namely the letter I. Many times I've felt that rather than say I am Imran, I should say I is Imran. It defines me. When I became Pakistan's best fast bowler, when I led Pakistan to victory in the 1992 World Cup, I was there all the time. I was consistent. Unfortunately marraige and I were not consistent. While my love affair with I has been a Test Match, my marraige was decidedly Twenty 20. It's something I find hard to comprehend.
So some people wonder what ails Younis Khan and Pakistan in Sri Lanka. Well Pakistan, Younis and I share a letter - the letter P - P for Pakistan and P for Pathan. Unfortunately, the first syllable of Younis' name is you.. If only Younis had shared the letter and philosophy of I with me. He would have been a different captain and an individual - individual the letter I again. I'm amazed at how often the word I crops up with me. I could go on till .. well Infinity has I as well.
by Mohit Varma
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