Good for Shakib he wasn't picked by an IPL team and Mortazaed - i.e played like his fellow Bangladeshi (by KKR) in their penultimate game, made to bowl the ultimate over, and ultimately lose them the match.
Moving on to Bangladesh's warm-ups for the T20 WC - looks like they've been at it - 3 warm-up games back home vs. Bangladesh A, as if you care. Followed by games vs. New Zealand, Netherlands and Scotland. And that was till 29th May.
On the 1st they play Australia, on the 2nd Sri Lanka.
And if you care, check out Shakib's showing in these games, esp vs New Zealand, not bad, eh?
Frankly, Shakib wasn't picked by an IPL team because nobody knew what he looked like, played like, what cola he liked? Had they hopped across here, who knows what would've been - Shakib Al Hasan (like fake) was both seriously and stupidly first talked about here at Bored.
Now what are the chances of Shakib taking India back to the future circa 2007? Let the Shakibbing continue.
As if you care about Shakib Al Hasan
Happy Bored Day Black Bradman
Happy B'day George Headley. Ironical that on his birthday I ask you to read his obituary. And enjoy little nuggets like 'His devoted admirers responded by calling Bradman the white Headley'. On another train of thought, that awful 'black or white' song has put me on the backfoot. And I'm no Headley, otherwise who knows where I would've hit it.
does pakistan really need yousuf…razzaq…?
icl seems to have accepted yousuf and razzaq's resignations...thereby paving the way for them to return to international cricket...
pcb too can't seem to wait for their return...and we might see them playing for pakistan sooner rather than later...
but does pakistan really need them...?
i for once don’t think so...
razzaq...was seen as a spent force in one dayers as well as tests...his bowling was dipping alarmingly for him to be termed as an all rounder, and i'm not sure his batting credentials are such that he can be included in an international team for batting alone...t20 may be...but certainly not in the longer format of the game...
after all the flip-flops of yousuf and his media war with malik (then captain) one can really imagine the kind of ‘camaraderie’ he will have in the dressing room...i would go to the extent of saying that he will be nothing but a negative influence which is the last thing this pak team needs at this time of rebuilding...
pak seem to be on their way to finding a combination under the leadership of younis...and including yousuf at this stage is not only an unwanted distraction but it also has the potential to derail the whole process...
let's not got carried away with yousuf and razzaq tonking losers in icl...
let pak team play cricket without these side shows both on and off field and let them find roots and a right combination...
more importantly let's show some patience with younis once we have bestowed him with this responsibility...let's give him some time to make his imprint on this young and vibrant team pakistan...
your thoughts...?
Indian T20 Team = India Kiddie XI!
I was watching this particular news channel about MSD's press conference and Team India's T20 Squad's photo session! Of course you don't care which news channel it was, because all of them are the same!
(That photo can be seen at SP's)
What interested me, was Team India's enthusiasm through out the photo session. It reminded me of those photo sessions, we all had back in our school days, the ones that were taken for the annual mags!
Indian Team's stars were behaving those school kids after all! The team had all of them!
The guy laughing all the way about how funny this photo session is! Read Harbhajan there!
The guy making sure he is looking all good! Read Zaheer Khan!
The guy making sure he is looking straight into the camera with a broad smile! That was Irfan Pathan!
The guys talking slyly just before the photo is being taken, looking in to the camera, and their lips moving, giving each other last minute gyan! May be Yuvraj was telling MSD how hard captaincy was for him during the IPL!
The guy looking at the camera, with a derisive look, like how all of this is such a pain in the backside! Of course, who could that be, but Jatman!
Yes, Indian T20 squad is India's Kiddie XI! Not because you have seen most of them progress from the under-19 levels, right before your eyes! But, that is what the photo session says!
Hello brother !!
We have seen cricketers becoming politicians...
Can a politician become a cricketer ?
At least he can look like one...
Look at this first, that is Dhoni
And now at this one...
The second one is Nicholas Sarkozy, the French president.
Don't they look similar ??
Fancy the Elysée Palace and Carla Bruni*, Mr Dhoni ??
** Thanks Yenjie !! 31.05.2009
robin uthappa in the making...?
this was uthappa's hairdo... before he started bowing...
now...have a look at yuvraj's latest hairdo...
reckon another uthappa in the making...?
Happy Bored Day to David the drug addict
Happy B'day David Murray. Yours is a lesson that cricket and drugs don't gel. Today on Murray's birthday let's remember all those cricketers that survived drugs. Why? It's less depressing for one, and secondly, excuse me while I kiss the sky!
(look for Murray's page to your left, preferably when you're stoned, he was one whacked out guy)
Rumour...
Tracer bullet seems to be a thing of the past (for the next week or so, of course)
Taaank guod... Nu Raanjitt Frnaanduu !! (Saw how the hand trembles when you think of him and speaks the same way he does??)
No Elves minimum when things fly out of hand...
And no more listening to stupid stuff that equates Dhoni to King Arthur
This is all ok, but how about us missing our dear Kolkata Knight Riders ??
Ya, I know what you guys are thinking...
NO !! I am not talking about HIM... Mr Anon, after you drove some sense into my mind I swore I wouldn't.
This post is not about him
So what rumour ??
If my unconfirmed sources are to be believed, Sir Alex Ferguson might not have a job soon. The last nail in this coachie's coffin might be that sorry loss to Barcelona at Rome.
If that source should be believed our man of ManU flew straight to Mannat...
He might be the special one next year... Oops !! Am sorry Mr José Mourinho, I know you wouldn't like this... Sorry Sir.
Oops !! I am sorry Sir Alex, I know you wouldn't like that... For José is neither a commonwealth citizen nor a Knight...
Now you guys got the connection ??
He might takeover next year. For, he is looking for a change I'm told.
Dada beware !!
He threw a boot at Beckham... Keep the kitbag away when you go near him. Imagine the matter that covers Shoaib Aktar's warts hitting you...
You can't right ??
Bored Peon & Bored Neon: IPL Addiction
Bored Neon: Wonder who will win the T20 World Cup?
Bored Peon: Obviously the defending champions Mumbai Indians.
its not true...miandad...
“I have realized now that everything can be bought with the power of money. India with the power of its money has earned the support from all stakeholders and we find no one who could listen and support us,” Miandad said.
no miandad no...its not true...everything can not be bought by money...
for example...your much needed silence?!!
(or you quote the price...)
- related story
Happy Bored Day Ravi Shastri!
to see Ravi's page today, click on his link (to your left) like a tracer bullet now! Tomorrow it'll be someone who keeps to himself: Dujon.
The Real IPL Player's IPL Diary with pictures from guess where?
Not from a vivid imagination like some fake, but from South Africa. Som, the Real IPL Player was there. Some Bored Members even asked me, is he really in SAF?
Anyway, Real's captured animals, photographs and even a video. You can see his animal farm here.
Or rewind to 1984, his take on the IPL here at Bored.
Love cricket. Love wife.
Two separate incidents. The first was a call from a Bored member who had a few worries on the domestic front because the spouse was feeling threatened by all the attention to prime-time cricket. I dismissed that as a one-off. Sure, 'conversion to another religion', 'refusal to have sexual intercourse' and 'cruelty' are all available grounds for divorce in India, but the IPL and the T20 World Cup are not going to be the cause of disproportionate marital strife, was it? Surely we won't see a spike in applications for divorce during May-June 09.
a tale of two captains...
what we learned from ipl 2009...
mumbai indians and delhi daredevils can never win the IPL ugly trophy...
one captain cares too much...
one does not care at all...
Exit Polls. Quite Literally.
Beware India and Pakistan, a minnow looms. WC T20 round the corner and some team will go round the bend. And not make the Super 8s. Which one? Vote. That’s the new poll. The Exit Polls.
Shiv crawls on
WI main middle order man - also the mean middle order man has been rather busy with something other than cricket
He hasn't noticed that they've started playing the one dayers against England.
Funny guy Shiv, didn't even remember losing the first one dayer.
Anyway, the Caribbean Crawler smashed an absolutely brilliant 68, the only problem it came off 108 balls while... chasing 329
He might have thought 'yep, this one looks like one of dem dead pitches from back home.... let's draw this one now.'
good goin Shiv....
Gayle needs to keep reminding him that the 50-50 games are on.
Cant help it if the IPL hangover is making the ODIs appear a little too long to watch or play.
by Prafs
Ugly Morton.
Bored Game: Brand your 2011 IPL team. In 2009.
Two additional teams will join the IPL in 2011.
My guess is that one team will be from Ahmedabad and the other from Kanpur.
My reasoning for this... UP has largest population in India and needs to be represented and Gujarat is a progressive state, has a huge global presence due to its expats and has one of the premier floodlit stadiums in India.
Ahmedabad team could be called Gujarati Shakaharis.
Your guesses on the two possible teams......
Top two brand names will be made into a logo, displayed here at BCC! and shot off to Mr Modi.
Postage unpaid naturally.
sachin is wrong...
sachin: sehwag and gambhir need to shed fatigue...
i don't know if i watched a different ipl from what sachin saw...
fatigue...? huh!
instead of playing hard...they hardly played in IPL 2009...
How to cope with your withdrawal symptoms:
1) Don’t
2) Do
2a) Spend time with friends who avoid cricket, and who you avoided
2b) Fill cheque, pay bill, kill bill
2c) Watch a sunset in a country other than IPL
2d) Watch a channel other than Set Max, watch Game-set-match, French Open
2e) French kiss
2f) Watch Kiss of the Spiderwoman
2g) Walk your woman
2h) Make lists like these
2g) Sing ‘these are the days to hold on to…’
2i) Click here to watch the Bored Quickie! Cricket Mickey! IPL Finals Live Replay! It was even better than the real thing.
Jatman in Champions League
Here are few lines dedicated to Jatman - Viru Bhai Sehwag (incidentally both of us hail from the same district - Jhajjar, Haryana - a district which also produces the maximum number of elite commandos for India's Special Forces)
Jatman in Champions League:
Jatman is the luckiest man in the cricketing clan.
Is baar Jatman failed with balla and ball but Champions League has still become his team's next port of call.
Jatman's happy because Champions League mein USD 250,000 is participation fee, I tell you this is the magic of desi ghee.
Hayden ne kya paya by winning orange cap, Champions League ka spot has fallen in Viru's lap.
In IPL 2 Viru failed to read length and line that's why his scores were low even though strike-rate was fine (typical Viru).
But the Nawab of Najafgarh is now all set to tackle seam and swing in ol' blighty (England) as he has the ashirwad of Bajrang Bali almighty.
Jatman's secret to success:
Jatman has no worries about foot-work, technique and opposition ke teer since all that is left to his partner Mr. Gambhir.
Drilling sense into Jatman is totally futile, let him play freely and he will go many a mile.
K's fav moment of IPL 2009
My favourite moment in IPL 2009:
RR staging a remarkable comeback in the dying moments of their first encounter against KKR and then going on to win in the Super Over. Images of Yusuf Pathan taking them to that famous win will stay with me forever.
How to defend 145
Well, Dhoni, dear boy, yesterday you saw a captain with an even thinner bowling lineup than yours – they have only 2 bowlers, the rest are what KP would call pie chuckers – motivating and rallying his troops to a famous win defending 143, less than even your 146. Harmeet Singh before today had given away 192 runs, and shown no sign of any chances of bowling a decent over. But Adam kept his faith, and even after a 10 run over, gave him a plan, and helped him overcome his nerves, and the result – the result was 4-0-23-2 for the young tyro. Is there a lesson to be learnt there, Em Yes doni saar? How about less public moaning on your bowling? How about spending effort on your rookie bowlers to give them confidence? How about using your so-called street smartness to evolve plans on the field and communicate them to your bowlers?
How about taking responsibility for screwing your side with your 28(30) where you couldn’t even whip up a whiff of an attacking shot – and you tried hard, didn’t you MS? Where have your big shots gone? Are you finished as a big hitter? Did that cost your team? Thought along those lines, fella?
by Raj
Bat first in big final, DD in CL, Dhoni looks tired
Three points I would like to make:
Always bat first in a big final is the lesson for Kallis, Boucher, Taylor since Kumble and Dravid's limited overs careers are over.
Anyway good news for Delhi Daredevil supporters. We've got lucky, having qualified for Champions League.
It's now time to focus on our title defence at T20 world championship. I tell you, Dhoni and some of his boys are looking a little jaded at this point. That's a scary thought for India fans.
Raj moment of the Finals
by Raj
Tale of two spinners
One Spinner moaned “I am being forced to bowl in the power plays with the field up”.
The other one – he doesn’t talk, his bowling does – simply took up cudgels against the most destructive batsman of the tournament in the FIRST over, and what’s more bowled him fair and square.
Who do you wish had retired and stopped playing for India?
by Raj
tale of two captains...
while dhoni paid the price for being too flexible...
kumble paid it by being the synonym of rigidness...
...and both carried on with their attitude irrespective of match situations...
Everything but the Dog.
Soak it in at Bored Member Achettup's backyard, he's packed in all the IPL wow, except the bow wow! Who let the dog out?
And while you're at it, how about some Q Angles. But no aunties, even though it was an all-south affair. And hell, still no dog.
But this no China. We don't serve dog. Even if it's one from the IPL.
Wait a minute we did. Here's looking back at that dog day afternoon!
PS: Incredible but the moment I completed this post @2.31 AM, the devil got into the delhi dogs, how they barked.
Q moment of IPL Final
Anil Kumble bowling Adam Gilchrist.
Manish Pandey taking that awesome catch or diving across the field to stop a boundary.
Adam Gilchrist stumping Virat Kohli.
Harmeet Singh's catch at fine leg.
Anil Kumble dishing it out to Robin Uthappa.
There were many, as should have been, in the final.
One moment though was not called for - Modi shaking his leg with Katrina Kaif, Shiamak Davar, and Akon.
That was surely not needed.
But one that was and stood above all for me.
Adam Gilchrist, arms wide open, looking up at the skies, and screaming away!
Go Chargers Go!
Another IPL Player, as if you care now
What timing: The IPL is over and there's a comment on a blog here linking up to anotheriplplayer. I'm done with the IPL, if you aren't go look at another. He claims to write badly. If nothing else, that should pull you there. Even better if you are a bad reader.I don't know whether you guys have heard of him
anotheriplpayler.blogspot.com
he had predicted the results, of not one or two but last five matches, and all of them turned out to be true.
Boss, it's all fixed.
(comment by Anon linking to Another's blog)
Geek Gods did not shine on Anil Bhai
The final was divided into two parts: Gilli's wicket and the rest of the winding road. BRC won it too early, and slacked it out after that. Not Jumbo, he was like the man on the moon who wanted to be on Jupiter. But the Geek Goods did not shine on him. And for once, Jumbo looked more a dude than a geek. On the ball, button, but how long can you carry a team on your shoulders, even on those broad shoulders.
Bored Quickie! Cricket Mickey! Do the IPL Finals LIVE! As Bangalore do Deccan and vice versa
Click here for a Bored Quickie! And do the IPL finals LIVE! (Bangalore vs. Deccan, 7:30pm IST) The Bored Members are in, gotta feeling Fake will be there too, a shadow of his former self - either a bewada or a dhakan.
To follow the minutes of the Live meeting, click on the above link. It'll just take a second.
For a lowdown on Bored Quickie, you can get some release here!
Gilchrist onslaught - A bad dream
Hi guys. Have not posted in the last two days cos I have been feeling the after-effects of the Gilchrist onslaught. I was devastated after the southpaw dished out his Hyderabadi biryani on Friday to eliminate my side.
But I have now regained my mental balance after a favourable result in the second semi-final. Thank god Chennai is out otherwise that irritating colleague of mine (Super Kings supporter) would have laughed his guts out at my expense when I rejoined office on Monday. This irritating fellow is the only reason why i'll never support Chennai. Now I can take a few digs at him.
I love to watch Gilchrist, Gibbs, Symonds and Rohit Sharma in full flow but I hope the Royal Challengers come up with the goods today as I want to see our veterans Kumble and Dravid lift the trophy.
Manish Pandey - India's Latest Star?
An unbeaten 114 in a crunch game, followed up with a 48 in a semi final has caught the imagination of a number of people.
After his unbeaten 114 against the Deccan Chargers, I did some digging on Manish Pandey, which I wrote about here.
As it figures, there's more to it than just that.
His 114* was not only the 1st century by an Indian in the IPL, it was only the 2nd century by an Indian in all Twenty20 cricket. Rohit Sharma is the other one.
What's more is that it is the highest score by an Indian in all Twenty20 cricket.
That is some achievement.
Particularly when its his first ever hundred in all forms of the game at the first class level.
In 5 first class matches, 6 List A games, and 12 Twenty20 matches, before the one against Deccan, Pandey's highest score was 69.
In his last 2 innings of 114* and 48, Pandey scored more runs than he had in his 10 Twenty20 innings before that.
Royal Challengers Bangalore have unearthed a new potential star for India.
Maybe a lot of you in India knew about him before Friday, but the IPL has in all probability provided a launch platform like no other for Manish Pandey.
What do you reckon then - has a new star for India been born?
Let’s have a Quickie during the IPL Finals, Darling?
For T20 we invented Bored Quickie, you’ve seen it on the side here. But leaving it on the side meant very little action. So we’re gonna spread it right here for you all. Jump in anytime and let it rrrrip.
Bored Quickie (via Cover it Live) - 7:30 pm (IST). But as we're in Delhi, expect us to be running late. Anyway, here's the chorus: Bored Quickie! Cricket Mickey! Nearly as dumb as T20, but damn, so accessible.
Only two Bored Members survive the IPL
A few weeks back on Election Day, the Bored Members voted for their IPL teams:
The way the cookie crumbles, only Bored Member John and VM are left with a hope in hell and a team in the Finals: The Bevadas aka BRC urf Bangalore Royal Challengers (notice how Fake smirks when we use the B word) Can almost see that shadow doing a somersault.
Others will claim BRC is their Doosra (like me) or DC is their googly (like Ottayan and Achettup) but who gives a rat's ass? The cat.
B the moment of the match
Semifinal 2, Bangalore playing Chennai
I was watching the match at a pub owned by a Kannadiga, surrounded by redshirts who invariably see you as a Chennai supporter because you picked your phone and said "Seri naa appuram pesaren" (OK, I'll call you later, in Tamil).
If sitting at a venue where you were outnumbered 1 to 8 was worse, the abyss of the day came during over number 20 of Chennai.
Robin Uthappa finally catches one and overacts as usual, and you have a whole bunch of redshirts around you shouting "Go Robin Go".
Do they want him to go back to Coorg, leaving cricket alone ??, I wonder.
Save all these, B the moment of the match was reserved for the end of the match banter between the fans of both teams.
"What poetic justice !! Both the last placed teams of 2008 are in the finals of IPL 2, brilliant right ??"
It is not dude, please...
Don't even mention this statistics again.
I don't want a John Buchanan and Sharukh Khan to hear this and continue with their disastrous experiments.
Let Kolkata Knight Riders have a life at least the next year.
"We didn't really bowl well"
Expected no less from you MSD. If only you bowled, or if Parthiv Patel could bowl, open, keep and captain for you too. It doesn't matter you toss the batting order around, call the toss wrong, or that your batting goes for a toss - striking at less than 100, "we didn't really bowl well", gimme another.
Why Uthappa Caught Oram?
Because he came into the match after deciding that he will not salute or bow down after taking a a catch.
Raj Moment of the Semi Final - 1
End of Match. Just before ceremony. A man in Red and Blue is engaged in deep conversation with the Deccan Chargers' captain. Smiles all around. Animated R&B man is all teeth as he seems to be saying "You did it for me, mate."
R& B is Glenn McGrath. How he must have laughed at jatman when Gilly smoked Nannes in THAT over. P.S: Is it true that Andrew Hilditch conducted a human sacrifice on Thursday night to attain a certain objective in the IPL semis?
by Raj
More IPLs the merrier!
it appears that the ipl organisers are planning two IPLs in a year..."The IPL will be based in India, but the second season (of a year) we are planning gives us the chance to see if a market exists and we are seriously looking at what we can do with it," lalit modi told the Daily Telegraph.
one will be played in india while the 'international' ipl, a shorter one...might adopt the sudden death format (?)...
now if we assume that they go ahead and play two versions...and revive the champions trophy as well which they had to cancel...where will this leave the FTP (Future Tours Programme)...?
more and more players will look to play in these lucrative tournaments and we will see an exodus from international matches...
while at one hand it's dangerous for an already ailing test cricket...i think it will also serve as a wake up call for the authorities...it will make them sit up and take notice of these trends...and hopefully the ICC will be forced to do more than merely gasp at this lingering threat on test cricket and issue inane statements that there isn't any...
what say...?
A tale of five captains
Sachin (Mumbai Indians) Thought too much
Viru (Delhi Daredevils) Thought too little
Yuvi (Kings XI Punjab) Thinking makes me angry
Saurav (?) Told not to think
VVS (?) Told to sit on it
NC moment of what match was that
Q Moment of IPL Semi Final 1
Adam Gilchrist running down the steps like a bollywood actress running to meet her long lost love!
Wonder if he's been getting tips from Priety and Shilpa.
Forget that shit.
What a knock!
That first over of the innings from Nannes was the moment to savour.
Bored Game: Who will win that ugly trophy?
We’re down to four, and thankfully nobody has called it foreplay yet. Delhi and Deccan play their demons, whoever beats them, wins. Both teams play best on autopilot, and hate to be under the pump. Frankly, who does – ask a drought ridden cricketer that stupid.
Then there’s the Southern man talent hunt (except plenty of puns on the all-South Sagar Ratna-Swaagath cricket fest tomorrow). Will Rajnikant be there, or will his daughter render an animated version?
Anyway let’s get down to the Bored Game: Who will be the finalists? Who will win that yugly trophy? See my Southern hangover hasn’t quite cleared.
And who will hit the BCC! Maximum 6s*, see how liberating it is to add your own name instead of the builder’s.
And pinpoint the Bored Moment of failure* – one that broke the bank!
While you’re at it, give the highest wicket-taker* and run-scorer* a shot too.
The winner will not get a replica of the ugly trophy. Instead you will receive BCC! maximum exposure!
For one, your name, along with the title ‘Bored Game Winner’, will go up here at BCC!
Second, a post by one, or all the Bored Members for you, baby.
Third, hell, don’t you like surprises?
New to BCC! - You can answer by clicking at Yawns (comments section) at the bottom of this post.
Criteria for Winners: Answers before the start of the 2nd innings will be preferred to those at the end of it. No limit on the number of entries.
*These questions are for the IPL2 Finals, and not the whole tournament
Letter to a friend
To,
Droppin Uthappa,
Please find a place in the field where you won't drop sitters.
wasn't always the case with you. was it?
i still remember the old days when you had just come onto the scene.
you were supposed to be one of the stars of the future alongwith yuvi and kaif.
you might not have been as brilliant as them, but weren't a liability for sure.
i still remember the bows to all part of the ground after every catch or run out.
arrogant, it might have looked, at times.
but you were good enough, to back it with work on the field.
Not too long ago, was it?
rameez raja said on air today,
'was that dropped?oh it's uthappa there. it must have been a catch.'
not very pleasant, is it?
that is not the only issue my friend. your batting has become rather suicidal now.it always was....
but it's a bit too much these days. do you want to be india's answer to Ross Taylor? heck, even he's playing innings of substance now. Rohit was unheard of back then when you started. Raina wasn't belting everything over midwicket. you are not in a very comfortable position, are you now? even DK is sneaking up on his batting alone.
so my friend, time to get back to the nets and some school boy stuff...chuck it really high.... and watch it come back into your hands.
yours sincerely,
Prafs
Tishani Doshi Continues to Entertain...
In another post about Cricinfo's Page 2, I briefly mentioned how lacklustre Tishani Doshi is.
She has been exposed by some other bloggers as well, which I will come to later; first I want to talk about how she goes beyond lacklustre in her latest post.
First she rambles on about how she has been in love with Wasim Akram, Viv Richards, and Steve Waugh, and how she thinks that "Dhoni is delicious"; which all fine. If we can oodle over the Prietys, Shettys, and Kaifs then no reason why she can't over the cricketers.
The problem begins when Doshi starts describing modes of dismissals.
"I'm not talking about styles of delivery, because that's venturing into a jargon-filled land of spin and pace that's out of reach for me".
Out of reach? Describing different types of spin and fast bowling deliveries is out of reach? How can someone who doesn't know the types of bowling deliveries be a cricket blogger? That too for Cricinfo!
She talks about the catch and different ways that can be taken and then asks, "Why don't they have a Man of the Catch award?"
Man of the Catch? Err.. should it not be "Catch of the Match?" - I seriously do not think that she was trying to be funny.
The following one about the stumping takes the cake though.
"Then there's the stumping, which always sends a thrill of pure pleasure down your spine, even if the man walking back to the dugout is from your team. It's a clean, sharp dismissal, and when the stump flies into the air, the batsman can only glance back with an air of disbelief,"
Firstly, I don't understand why a stumping sends thrills down ones spine. Well ok maybe for her it does, but a stump flying in the air? In 2o years of watching cricket, I have never seen a stump fly into the air after a stumping. Forget about fly into the air, I have never even seen a stump fall on to the ground after a stumping. Keepers usually only break the bails.
I wonder what cricket Doshi has been watching.
Then she claims that she doesn't understand the LBW.
"There's the lbw, which is too subtle for me. I can never tell if someone is out, unless I watch it on Hawk-Eye. If I were to watch a cricket match live without the aid of a commentator and replays, there's no way I'd be able to catch the lbw."
Well maybe she's not the only one who can't tell, but she's bloody blogging on Cricinfo!
Ok ok even some umpires can't tell about the LBW, but this lady, Tishani Doshi, continues to entertain - in a very unfunny way.
The other Exposes of Ms Doshi:
Plagiarizing about Malcolm Gladwell's Tipping Point, by Kridaya
Plagiarizing about Chekhov, by Kridaya
Missing the whole point of the Tipping Point, by Ducking Beamers
Maybe she should stick to Dancing.
Who would have thunk?
IPL in Afghanistan
Perhaps the highlight of IPL 2 has been the number of blogs and websites commenting on it. One site calls itself the BCCI-Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. And its predicted report for IPL 2014 begins thus: "IPL chairman Lalit Modi thanks the government of Afghanistan for providing them with the best security measures and brilliant hospitality throughout the IPL. Che, formerly known as Cheteshwar Pujara, the captain of India and IPL Saurashtra Team, thanked Sachin Tendulkar for inspiring him to lead his side to victory…."
BCC! update: the above excerpt is taken from the post by Ankit Poddar: A - premonition from IPL 2014! and appears in The Week , May 24th, 2009.
If Jumbo wins that ugly trophy
B the moment of the match
Bangalore playing Deccan
Such an important match it was touted to be. Many people wrote many things about what these two teams should do to qualify. And most importantly keep Punjab at bay.
But then as luck would have it, Mangal Pande... err.. Manish Pande scored an amazing century and the so called test team, reached a (what seems like winning) 170. This not withstanding a scrum half-like fielding performance by Deccan's Gibbs assisted by Symonds.
All that said, my moment of the match would be that second when Kumbles called Virat Kohli to bowl.
Having seen Mr Kohli's record just when he had hit RP all over the park in over no 20, I was amazed he was called in to bowl.
Is it arrogance ?
Or wisdom ?
So far it looks like wisdom, but who knows...
In T20 I am told the wisemen speak after 40 overs and 15 minutes
Have they won yet??
Why Uthappa Dropped Gibbs?
He was thinking whether to do the salute or the bow to the crowd after he caught it.
Pump up the Pandey
Manish Pandey, pumped up Pandey
Clearing his front foot
Clearing thru covers
Pump up the Pandey
Manish Pandey, pumped up Pandey
Straight hit, straight six
Straight walk, straight talk
Pump the Pandey
Manish Pandey, pumped up Pandey
Thank you Pandey
Thank you Singh
Pump up the Pandey
Q Moment of IPL Match #55
RP Singh to Manish Pandey.
Straight powerful hit down the ground.
Four!
NO!, who's that?
Its a bird, its a plane, its superman, no its Herchelle Gibbs!
Gibbs diving across, stopping the ball, and passing it to Symonds who throws it back to the bowler.
That was not the moment.
RP Singh's expression at the fielding hustle was!
What a beauty.
Jatman announces arrival on IPL stage
Brother Viru has finally re-affirmed his status as Jatman and not Khatman (always sitting on khat after getting out or due to injury).
Ib aaya mhara chora jaat ka line pe.
Woh har maidan mein tagda hai,
chahe border hai ya jhagda hai,
duniya mein sabse nyara Jattan Ka Chora.
Pakistanis fresh for T20 World Cup
Oye main keya.... come to think of it..... the Pakistanis will be very fresh coming into the T20 world cup since they are getting a good rest at the moment while members of all other teams are playing some intense cricket in the IPL. So Pakistan might just be a force during the T20. Plus they have always been mercurial, you never know what to expect from them.
Your thoughts Q, NC, SP, Homer.....
You're welcome, Dilli
We played your captain back to form. And your other opener seems to be in good nick too. We also pointed out that your batting is still very up and down. And your bowling rotation is not right either - too many left handed bowlers and a leggie - there are only so many ways you can take the ball away from the better without trying to get one back in.
And we gave you confidence in the chase.
For all this, you are welcome Dilli!
shoaib is out of T20...and how...
nothing related to shoaib can be normal...unspectacular...so keeping the tradition alive...news is out that shoaib akhtar is ruled out of t20 world cup coz of infection...
"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement.
this is what happens to a bowler...when he looks to shine a different 'ball'...
Another train of thought.
Appears the flights between Joburg and Mumbai have increased manifold. Please see for yourself here.
Just when you think it's over for Mumbai
They play Delhi. Not tension free cricket, is it Homer?
The Moin - Saqlain affair
One of the highlights of Pakistan cricket about 10 years back was the rollicking love affair going on between Moin Khan and Saqlain Mushtaq. At one point of time every second delivery of Saqlain (good or bad) would be celebrated by Moin as he cried "well bowled buoy". Moin would often wink at Saqi and then go on to pat him on the butt after the over came to an end.
This was probably the greatest love story between two international cricketers. Sadly, it came to an abrupt end once Saqi lost control of his doosra (after he realized that he was the DOOSRA in Moin's life) and at the same time Moin decided to hang his gloves.
Confused about his sexuality and eager to forget the past, Saqi decided to grow a beard and moved to England.
K's moment of the match: Chennai v Punjab
Yuvi's wicket has to be the moment of the match. Man, what's Raina eating nowadays. Can't wait to see him at the T20 world cup.
In fact, while watching this match I could not figure out who to support (even thought of discussing this with Naked). Am half-Punjabi so natural tendency was to go with Punjab and also there is this irritating person I know who supports Chennai Super Kings. I wanted him to bite the dust.
But finally decided to go with Chennai for 2 reasons. Firstly, there is an even more irritating person I know who supports Punjab. I wanted him to sulk. Secondly, had Punjab won, my Delhi would have had to play Chennai in the semis.
Am glad Chennai won. The ideal situation now would be that Deccan wins today by a slender margin against Bangalore and as a result Delhi plays an unpredictable Bangalore team in the semis while Deccan takes on Chennai.
Fake IPL Player Clue #7
Re: RIP FIP Video
Dear Fake,
Sounds like you but doesn't look like you
yours truly,
bored
ps: all clues ;)
Fake IPL Player Clue #6
Re: RIP FIP Video
dear fake,
This should prove to be a good career launcher
yours truly,
bored
PS: All clues ;)
bcciwrites@gmail.com
Homer's moment of the match #54
| 9.5 | Sreesanth to Dhoni, OUT, superb yorker!! Dhoni was totally done in by the inswinger, bowled in the high 140's, he was surprised by the pace, failed to bring his bat down in time and the offstump was pegged back. Punjab have the advantage now |
| MS Dhoni b Sreesanth 2 (2b 0x4 0x6) SR: 100.00 |
Is there ever a better sight in cricket than an inswinging yorker honing on the stumps and the batsman late with his shot?
you fool sree...
sree you are not only a stupid fool...but uninformed about history as well...
you just don't celebrate like that after dismissing the indian captain...
ask certain murli karthik...
Homer's moment of the match 53
Shilpa Shetty's face when Ajit Agarkar hit the winning runs!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Q Moment 7 of IPL Match #53
David Hussey goes!
Shilpa Shetty in Royals T-shirt jumping and looking happy.
Making me happy.
Good heavens that coat has come off Ms. Shetty.
Strategy Break.
38-5.
Royals going through baby!
Q Moment 6 of IPL Match #53
Munaf's 3rd and inning's 5th over.
All length deliveries outside the off. Slight movement away.
Batsman plays and misses almost all of them.
Dot balls all of them.
One no ball in between, batsman gets caught behind off it.
dot, dot, nb, dot, dot, dot so far.
Final ball.
Same length.
Yashpal tries to cut, gets top edge to 3rd man.
Quite a catch by Quiney.
Quite an over from Munaf!
Q Moment 5 of IPL Match #53
Didn't take long for the Royals to deliver.
Ganguly - Gone!
McCullum - Gone!
Game - Very much ON!
Q Moment 4 of IPL Match #53
Jadeja bowled.
I slam the top of my laptop.
Look up at the TV.
Shane Warne slams his bat on the pitch.
Similar sentiments.
Sadness!
But it ain't over till its over.
The champions will not go down without a fight.
A few more moments left in this match.
You can be sure of that.
Q Moment 3 of IPL Match #53
Charl Langeveldt comes back for his second spell - short, batsmen too late, gets the shoulder of the bat, caught around mid-on / mid-wicket.
No that is not the moment, Langeveldt has already had his!
Its the turn of the man who took the catch.
Dada running with eyes in the air and on the ball.
Takes the catch, tumbles, dives, gets up with ball in one hand, looks at someone in the crowd or dressing room, probably buchanan, raises his hand with ball in it and clinches his fist.
Dada never loses a chance to show that he still has it in him!
NC moment of what match was that
Q Moment 2 of IPL Match #53
Charl Langeveldt's first ball of the IPL - short, batsmen too late, gets the shoulder of the bat, caught behind!
He gets another after that.
What must be going through John Buchanan's head?
Q Moment 1 of IPL Match #53
Its the final 2 days of the IPL's group mathes, and with what's on the line, its definitely the 2 biggest days of the IPL.
The fate of 4 teams hangs up in the air.
Even though the fate of the Rajasthan Royals and Kings XI Punjab will be more or less decided today, a lot will still depend on the final group match tomorrow night:
Deccan Chargers vs Royal Challengers Bangalore.
That match has the potential to decide the fate of not 1, not 2, but 3 teams.
That is what will be at stake!
Given these stakes, I reckon there will be more than just 1 moment of the match to talk about.
So here's my first one.
Royals enter a must win game.
Sent in to bat.
Batsmen under pressure.
How do they respond - Naman Ojha send the ball over the fence 3 times in the very 1st over.
Game on!
Start of a Big Day
A big day in South Africa today.
The defending champions' run in the IPL could be all over.
Another big game between the two Kings - one Super and the other not. Semi Final spot on the line for Priety's Kings.
The Fake IPL Player getting ready to reveal his identity. Boy would his heart be pumping today. He's going to become a celebrity.
Hope no one shoots him.
Its a huge day and I'm up early to follow it!
Real IPL Player: Delhi Daredevils vs Royal Challengers Bangalore
i) Jacques Kallis chugs down the track on his follow through and applies brakes just before colliding with AB de Villiers, who had blocked the delivery. Kallis gives him a piece of mind, telling exactly what he thought of him. And to ensure de Villiers has not missed the point, Kallis repeats the sermon after the next delivery. For the uninitiated, the duo is rumoured to play for the same national side;
ii) It’s not for nothing that cricketers are called demi-gods in India. Anil Kumble removes Yogesh Nagar, not exactly Don Bradman reincarnated, and then does a Lord Vishnu. Only the Sudarshan Chakra is missing as Jumbo sketches a circle in the sky.
iii) Two white ladies enter the hospitality suit with bindis on their forehead. Downwards, the sartorial parsimony, so intrinsic of the local culture, however reassures that they have not chucked their own tradition altogether. IPL rings on cultural fusion in South Africa.
iv) Sehwag doesn’t field McGrath the Pigeon. The joke doing the round here is Sehwag wants to stay away from any sort of ‘Kabootarbaazi’.
v) Rahul Dravid’s most shots find the point fielder. We didn’t seek evidence but Jammy decided he had a point to prove.
Drunk Daredevil
A drunk sways past our table, shrieking Mallya’s name in connection with some sorting out. He does his round across the bar, sways back again, declares that the match is fixed, and he knows everything. We nod, encourage some drunk banter, he doesn’t disappoint. He repeats he knows everything. We repeat our nods, and agree he knows everything. He repeats the match is fixed.
Bored meeting at Def Col Club, present: K, SP, NC. While Som is in Jo’burg fulfilling his duties as the Real IPL Player. Earlier in the piece, the club wallahs put up a giant screen for just K and NC. Reckon if SP had arrived earlier, who knows, a second screen? The kebabs like Delhi, were underdone. But then, like Jatman, we selected poorly.
And, he's back again...
Mark Ravin Ramprakash, the man refuses to score anything less than three figures these days.
See what he has done now...
At 39 and 256 days, he has scored a 94 ball 102 in the Friends Provident Trophy. With 50 of those runs split 50:50 between those balls sent over and across the rope.
I am sure Ramps would be a "discussion point" when the selectors sit for the next England ODI or T20 team.
He would be one player whose "name" frequented the selection meetings more than coffee's and donuts / biscuts
PS: We at BCC! have neither coffee or donuts while we discuss cricket, see how many times his "name" has cropped up in our discussions
B the moment of the match
Delhi playing Bangalore
Second innings
18.2 Boucher hits Nehra for a four over the midwicket
Danny Morrison in commentary "The Royal Bengal Challengers have been fantastic today"
Did I hear it right ??
Q Moment of IPL Match #49-52
Its taken 31 days and 52 matches to finally see a table, in which all the teams have played the same number of matches.
Goldie, Makhan, Honey, Sonu, Monu, Bunty, Mintu, Pammi
When it comes to mens nicknames, Dilliwallas show a lot of verve and flair. Just like the DDD team selection.
Given that everybody and his uncle ( except Glenn McGrath) have been given an opportunity,how much longer before Tejashwi Yadav gets his chance?
Whither Icons?
Image by AFP/Getty Images via Daylife
Fading icons of Indian cricket? provides an interesting analysis on the icons of IPL.
Yuvraj Singh and Dhoni, both from the younger generation appear to have redeemed themselves with their performance. However, in the case of Yuvraj his reputation as a batsmen stands suspect, but his reputation as a bowler stands enhanced with his double hat trick in IPL season 2.
Sadly, the performances of the other icons from the senior batch, namely Tendulkar, Dravid,Ganguly and Laxman have left them exposed. The Deccan Chargers have quietly gone about neutralizing Laxman. Dravid as usual is kicking, crying and sweating it out. Ganguly, has been shorn of the captaincy and is now reduced to shoring up his place as a batsmen. So most of these icons have already been defanged.
However, Tendulkar is one icon despite his poor performance and captaincy skills will prove tough to extract. It needs more than money and guts to neutralize the Mumbai Indian icon as he is also the icon of Team India.
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Jatman's Cricket Cycle.
Any resemblance of the above graphic to Jatman’s real head
is purely coincidental and unintentional
by Straight Point
Real IPL Player: A Canine Story
Centurion (Pretoria): Every underdog has its day. Today was Knight Riders’. Initially I shrunk at the prospect of watching through an entire KKR match, fearing it might leave indelible scars on my psyche. But for once, the Knight Riders fumbled and snapped the spectacular string of defeats they had painstakingly put together.
When Murli Kartik dropped Dhoni, a luxury others can ill-afford, and had to go through the embarrassment of watching the replay in the giant screen twice, I felt easy.
Because, Kartik only let down the ball, surely not me.
Just before IPL II, KKR had lowered the bar and amazingly stuck to that throughout. So when Chennai set a formidable target, sitting at the hospitality area, I thought I know the script.
To give them their due, KKR has virtually covered the entire gamut of defeats, conjuring up every possible way of going down. Hence my lone interest hinged on the nature of the defeat.
So far, they have been lucky losers on occasions when they managed to come near the target. They have been plucky loser too in a couple of matches. Sometimes they threw it with the air of a millionaire tossing coin while passing through a slum. Sometimes they blew it as if a win was a sin and defeat their destiny.
So when Dhoni tossed the ball to Suresh Raina to bowl the final over, there was no reason to believe that Raina can’t do a Joginder Sharma. But for once, Dhoni's midas touch went AWOL.
McCullum had batted like there was no tomorrow, for he knew there was actually no tomorrow. Hodge shone in the hotch-potch and then the unsuspecting Wriddhiman Saha made a statement with the bat that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog that counts.
Warnie, beware of the dog in the manger!
NC moment of what match was that
Cable TV returns with two overs to go, frankly with a KKR game that’s all you need. Last ball win, what an anti climax. Saha could've done better- left the wide one from Raina alone, taken the game into the super over, and laid those demons to rest once and for all. And for good measure they could have given Mendis the ball.
B the moment of the day
What did I say on twitter this afternoon ??
That shall "B the moment of the day" or rather days to come till KKR & the FIP comeback next season.
Bye Bye Buchanan & co (hopefully some sense prevails next season, Mr. SRK) !!
PS: Take one good look at all those brilliant ideas from the "Fountain of Ideas" himself
The Economics of Kolkata Knight Riders
Mashrafe Mortaza is not playing today, he has been dropped after that one over.
I was tempted to see what his contribution is, to the team and what the team' to him. So here is what I found.
a) Teams contribution to him $600,000
Bangladesh has a per capita income of $1,500. So this means one Mashrafe Mortaza is equal to 400 Bangladeshi'
b) His contribution to the team
He bowled all of 4 overs and gave away 58 runs without picking any wickets
Mashrafe's value per over - $150,000: This is equal to what 100 of his country men would be getting in an year
One year is 525,600 minutes, look at what our man got for every 8-9 minutes of contribution on the field. That makes it $16,667 per minute of his contribution
That is what 11 Bangladeshis would be earning for the whole year. He earns that in a minute
Well, one look makes me think that Sharukh Khan would have been better off hiring 400 Bangladeshi', than buying a Mortaza and keeping him in his team for trophy value (!!).
That would at least have given him some solid supporter base.
Give KKR its due
Must admit, I have my reservations with the IPL. While the finals will be played on Sunday, 24th May, between two lacklustre teams – could be either Delhi, Chennai, Hyderabad, Punjab, maybe even Bangalore, spare a thought for Kolkata – for they spared none. Yet in spite of that, how they’ve played, and how they've payed! It’s time we honour the heartbreak kids. I propose a game for the losers, the winners of broken hearts. Give them another game, one which they cannot lose. Let them play amongst themselves – KKR v KKR A. Let one team be led by McCullum, the other by Ganguly. Let them toss for the team names too. A team with so many factions deserves no less. And while they’re at it, how about a mini KKR league, made up of 8 KKR teams. That way, every game KKKR will win. And SRK will never go away!
Video killed the radio song
Real IPL Player: DC vs KXIP match
Winter is setting in here but the giant IPL billboards across the city scream ‘Heat Is On’. Two hours in the hospitality area of the Wanderers Stadium and I know what they meant.
It was a Sunny day, even if Gavaskar wasn’t in the vicinity. There was a cushion on the chair but the sun was beating down on my thinning thatch, resulting in a dilemma, whether to pamper the bum or protect the head.
“All depends on what part of your body you love more,” volunteered my next-chair neighbour from left.
Turning right, I suddenly realised I was in august company, that too in May! Two ladies, including the head-turner just next to me, separate me from Banjo Casssim, the man in the eye of the 2000 match-fixing storm!
A journalist colleague of mine identify him and try to remind him of an old interview he had done with him. Banjo doesn’t really jump in joy after being traced, even though he does force a smile. Seconds later, he leaves in a huff.
Worse, with both the ladies in tow.
I hope the incident irrefutably establishes the sad fact that journalism remains essentially a dog-eats-dog world.
The match was okay but I actually was more eager for the strategy break. I was dying to know what the players do in the first five minutes of the seven-and-half-minute break that make them unwatchable on television for that period of time and has to be replaced by commercials.
To my relief, they don’t do anything obscene. Trust me, Yuvraj Singh doesn’t molest any cheeleader, spank Sreesanth or abuse Preity Zinta.
During the strategy break, the roller buzzes into action, smoothening the track. Seconds later, Ramesh Powar charges in warming-up.
Now, had they requested Powar to do the loosening up on the 22-yard track, that would have surely saved the organisers of rolling out that petrol-guzzling monster. But then few really care about energy conservation.
Naman Ojha's Wierd Calls
I've been noticing, or rather hearing, these for a few games now.
"Shabaash Shabaash Warnie!"
"Shabaash Johan, acha hai acha hai Johan!"
"Aise hi Warnie, Aise hi!"
Now its one thing calling Botha, Johan (pronounced Yoohaaan), and altogether another speaking to Warne and Botha in Hindi!
Is Shilpa Shetty giving the Rajasthan foreigners some Hindi lessons?
Maybe during some Yoga work outs.
B the moment of the match
Punjab (Vs.) Deccan
The match went up to the last ball of the second innings. But the gem came a minute later.
Irfan Pathan in his post match interview "I was pretty happy I was given the last bowler. I was hit for one four, but that happens. I knew he [Sharma] was waiting for the yorker next ball, but I tried a different kind of slower ball"
I am told Chetan Sharma and more recently, less than 24 hours ago Mashrafe Mortaza practiced the same line for an interview just after their captain handed the ball over to them. The rest as they say is history.
Savour your moment sire ! Thank your stars !!
PS: See what Chotu said a while back because he could afford to...
3 wickets in 2 shops
Real IPL Player: Spin, Gandhi and IPL
Back on my feet after eight never-ending hours in a flight from Dubai, I sort of shiverred the moment I land in Jo’burg. I reckon it’s IPL fever and since I know the medicine, there is nothing to worry.
Sam drives us from airport, warning time and again that flashing money in South Africa can be fatal. I certainly was not amused at his dig at Lalit Modi.
“Do visit the Gandhi museum also, since you came from India,” he advises.
I was startled, actually never felt Devang Gandhi did anything to merit a museum!
It dawned me minutes later that Sam was talking not about the opener but of the spinner of charkha.
Cabbies have been shouldering the traditional responsibility of being a stranger’s friend, philosopher and guide in an alien city and expect Sam to pop up time in Real IPL Players’ journey.
Q Moment of IPL Match #48
David Hussey.
His innings lasted a moment, but what a moment it was.
Some amazing sixes.
None better than the one over extra cover off Andrew Symonds.
Beautiful!
The Real IPL Player is coming!
And he’s going to take names, drop names, spell names, real names, his names, her names, not no-names. That’s not to say he doesn’t have an imagination. He’s just not a fake!
B the moment of the match
KKR playing DC
Just as when Sharukh Khan was thinking of calling his travel agent to book his ticket to South Africa, Mashrafe Mortaza decided to save some cost for the team.
A day when the adage "Every dog has its day" was coming close to reality for the KKR pack, when one saw Ajit Agarkar defy his usual self and bowl a brilliant 19th, McCullum smile on field, Kartik bowling a good spell of 4 tight overs. When one started feeling that KKR are ducking the trend to win one, Mashrafe thought otherwise.
I would ask the KKR team to may be try their luck with book cricket first. And when they do that, I would recommend that they borrow a book from Scorpicity. That seems to be the only way KKR can win one.
whata timing!!
we all know that BCC! was offline in reaction to delhi's defeat...
so it natural...that to celebrate mumbai indians getting knocked out of the current ipl season...we are online again...
good bye mumbai indians...
as sachin says in on-air !dea campaign...
kuch bhi ho phone jaroor karna...
(whatever happens...stay in touch...)
Q Moment of IPL Match #47
How much do Chennai love Matthew Hayden?
Albie, Oram, Ntini they were all over him after the match.
Raina said "what a player Hayden is!"
Dhoni continues to praise him and call him "Haydos" in the wierdest way I've heard that name be said.
Loving the love across borders!
B the moment of the match
Mumbai playing Chennai
16.2, Hayden facing up to Malinga
Hayden shuffles and gets ready for a reverse sweep / slog, to realize the ball is a bit short and is right outside his leg stump.
The shot he played in the end shall be shot of this IPL
It was a not so handsome, late nudge on to the fine leg which was more like a conventional late cut of the right hander
That was my effort, trying to describe the shot Hayden played, do feel free to add yours in the comments section.
In reaction to Delhi's defeat:
BCC! has been offline in Delhi, though not in Dubai. That is if Bored Members Q, RajaB and BK are to be believed. Hopefully our absence will make you ponder, think about the King of good times you've had here.Really sorry about this, btw we still don't know who to blame?
Testing, testing…
Thy career shalt be doomed
If thou is 21
And thy still fight for a place in your college or league 15
- "Mark" thou words for posterity
That is from the old testament of cricket
Well, if we are to go by the scriptures of the old testament of cricket then what do I do ? I am more than 21, can’t I play the great game of cricket ?
The answer to this question are those various gully cricket leagues and the corporate cricket tournaments. While the gully is the answer to the seasoned book cricketer, the corporate league is for those who were wannabe’s. The ones who pissed on to their left thigh inners, trying to imitate that Kapil Dev’s poster without minding the moment, those who were called “poor spastic kids” for they aped Krish Srikanth’s oral fixation, those who invited a hunch for they could walk-in from deep point like an Azza or those who chewed gum like there was no tomorrow and walked with a swagger which made that drunken uncle next door look pretty, for they wanted to be seen as Sir Ian Vivian Alexander.
These are exactly the ones who take the corporate cricket seriously, the ones who manage to wake-up, wake-up despite a watery night. And drive / ride down for a game of cricket. But if we wanted only these guys to play corporate cricket then we wouldn’t have a eleven. To fill a team we would also need those who only played cricket of the mouth, book, mind, tongue, and also the wannabe’s.
I belonged to one of these categories and so did our protagonist. The corporate Chennaite would be familiar with the Bluestar and the Bluesky tournaments. This was a Bluestar tournament before it lost its sheen. And our man was a leggie, known in our office cricket circles more not as a cricketer but as someone who was a classmate (if I am not wrong or at least a batchmate) of a (former?!!) India cricketer. A spinner again, left arm but. His name being, Murali Kartik.
This particular match happened on the RK Mutt School Grounds, in T Nagar, Chennai. Our protagonist walks post putting on the pads the 8th man had left to dry. He was facing an offie who had been the most potent of bowlers in the match.
The offie, decided that he would try one of his special variations for our leggie. It was a floater, which was on air for a while more than how long those Biman Air flights would. Our man was, for whatever reasons heavily influenced by Sanjay Manjrekar that day. He had to leave the ball by itself, “Well left” as they would call.
He never realized that it was a rather straight ball, a dart on his middle stumps. He had anyway decided to leave. Being a right handed bat, he decided to get his right leg right parallel to the crease and his left leg. Yes, facing the bowler and the ball as if he were challenging the ball “I am the man, what the &^*@ do you…”
The ball darted in as if it were focusing on a triangular plastic target hidden inside a cotton trouser clad fork. And it landed, right in the middle of the box. It was one of the most agonizing slow motion “shots” I have ever seen in my life. I saw our man being floored, so slow that I could see his sleeves dusting the floor and his bat hitting the ground toe first.
It took all of 15 minutes for us to resuscitate him, of course sans a MTM for to his luck the girls in office failed us this particular day.
When he did stand up, he seemed like vehicle with a bent fork. Many in the team thought it was a permanent disability. So when the match did get over, some of the good folks managed to hit the old book stores of Triplicane, buying some old issues of Fun & Fantasy, Erotica and the odd Playboy's and Penthouse. The others went straight to Parry’s corner in search of movies that carried a public rating of 3 of the 24th letter in capitals.
We gifted the books and the CD / DVD’s to him asking him to test himself. For, introspection is the best test before you decided to prove your manhood to the world.
If you enjoyed someone enjoying a book / CD test then you must enjoy this…
WTF!
The day is not far when countries like USA, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Korea, Poland, etc will start sending their strong men to play cricket; shots hit beyond 80 m will get counted as 8s, beyond 90 m as 9s and beyond 100 as 10s. Chucking will be legalised. Each team will have two sub teams - one hitters, one chuckers and umpires will stop standing inside the field or if they do, they'll also start wearing helmets. Howzatt will be replaced by WTF!
And we'll all be saying Thank You, Lalit Modi!
by Dheeraj Kunzru
When you say things because you can afford to...
I scored all of 829 out of 1200 in my school finals. It was, is and will be the abyss any one from my glorious Tambram family would ever manage to beat. Unless my son Anirudhha decides to make me proud.
But still I could come out unscathed, the reason being that 96% I scored in Chemistry. I effectively managed to deflect the limelight, having been the weaklink. The most inefficient guy in the family (team), in terms of scoring.
I could speak because I could afford to, about my Chemistry scores
Cut to IPL: Where you have...
Let's first read this story...
Did he bowl a yorker ?
Yes, he tried to bowl one too many in the right earnest. But in my opinion he never did (or could) bowl even one.
Did he bowl a slower one ?
Yes, he did... for every one delivery of his would follow my moped of those days (a TVS Champ, TN 72 3280 during my college days) and travel on any congested Indian street without attracting the awe of a policeman. High 60s maximum.
But still, when you manage to pick-up wickets you can talk anything you want...
When cricinfo says you were to be the all rounder BCCI was searching for and you just missed the bus, the crap you talk is worth a few carats...
It gets even better when you become the MOM of a T20 encounter, bowling what they call a "Quasi military not so medium"...
You can talk Chotu
KEEP TALKING*...
Till you get plastered, soon...
Look who is talking...
Pink Floyd are entertaining me in the background as I write this post.
While doing my customary rounds of http://www.cricinfo.com/ I found something interesting.
"I'm 43 but wouldn't mind having a crack at it. I think I'll go okay but I am not sure if any side is desperate to take me"
Appropriately Floyd were playing the famous "Money" song as I was reading this.
But yes there is a side that is desperate, desperate that it wouldn't even mind taking or rather waking up a WG Grace or Sir Donald Bradman off their grave to manage a win, one WIN. I hear grapevine telling me that this guy might be the replacement for the "Fountain of ideas".
Now that I have given enough away, the man who said those famous words is Stephen Rodger Waugh. And yes, you got it right...
The team we are talking about are the Kolkata Knight Riders.
So would Stephen Play or Make Play ??
Whatever it is, he would make pots of money.
Some more music please...
And, Mark Knopfler now, Money for nothing
B the moment of the match
Rajasthan playing Mumbai
4 runs from 5 balls
Camera pans to the Rajasthan box... Shilpa Shetty with prayers on her lips
Dhawal Kulkarni lbw Munaf Patel
Now 4 off 4
Shilpa Shetty on camera, prayers still on her lips
Munaf Patel to Chetanya Nanda, a runout this time Nanda walks back to the dugout
It's not 4 off 3
Shilpa with prayers still on her lips seen on camera again
Harbajan Singh runs one, taking Lasith Malinga on to strike
3 off 2
Again Ms Shetty spotted with prayers on her lips
Now, Malinga & Harbajan run an impossible one, Malinga is runout. Rajasthan have won a cliff hanger.
Camera pans back to the Rajasthan box
One sees Shilpa Shetty jumping on her boyfriend, elated.
Now, what's on her lips ??
Regular Munaf
But sirjee, why do I feel that Munaf is a much safer fielder in RR colours. Is it me or is he actually a much safer, more predictable fielder under Warne? Is the Munaf issue merely one of management?